To The Woman He Loves 2

by Theresa Hodge

  “I’m not good, at all, Jacob,” I said before I fell silent.

  “I gathered that much when you didn’t make it to our senior management team meeting yesterday. I hadn’t seen you in the office in a few days and that’s not like you, so I decided to call and check on you. Is everything okay?” he asked, sounding concerned.

  “I’m dealing with some personal issues that I need a few more days to work out, and then I’ll be back in,” I said. I had given him a heads up about the storm brewing in my marriage a while back. I didn’t tell him about my affair with Misty and I damn sure wasn’t about to go into details at the moment. “Sorry about missing the meeting,” I added.

  “You have a competent director, so he stepped in and filled us in. When can I expect you back?” he asked.

  “Very soon, Jacob. I just have to get some things settled at home, so I can focus on work. I hope you understand,” I said, as I stood up and walked across the room and picked up the rum bottle that I had thrown. I went into the kitchen and got some paper towels to clean up my mess.

  “Understood. I’m all about taking care of the family first. Just keep me abreast of your situation, so I will know when to expect you back in the office. We have a lot of big contracts coming in and we need you man,” Jacob said.

  “I sure will let you know, Jacob.”

  “Take care of yourself, Ronan,” Jacob said before hanging up.

  Even though he said encouraging things to me, I had to pull it together and get back to work, so I wouldn’t get the sack. My role was crucial to the success of Turner Enterprises, and any company, no matter how much loyalty they have to a person, would keep it moving when they had a VP that was hitting the bottle more than he was working.

  The number of digits in my bank account were proof in black and white that I wasn’t pressed to hold down a job, but I loved my position at Turner. It was something I’d worked hard to achieve and not what was handed down to me as a part of my grandmother’s estate. I had created my own lane and did well for the Michael’s name on my own volition.

  I tossed the paper towels along with the rum bottle into the trash and forced myself to get up and take a shower. I had to press forward.

  As the water rolled down my body, I thought about my encounter with Shauntay and Mark. I had said some ruthless things about Ruby cheating on me. I had accused her of the very thing that I took so much selfish pleasure in doing. I couldn’t believe I let insecurity get the best of me. Why Lord had I let that happen again? Why did I fulfill my selfish desires when she needed me so badly?

  Then, it dawned on me.

  Stephanie…I used to worship the ground she walked on.

  I let my mind trick me into thinking Ruby was like the first woman I almost proposed to. I’d fought to tamp feelings of betrayal back for years, and my sweet Ruby never gave me a reason to revisit that period of hurt in my life. Yet, when she withdrew from me and treated me like I suddenly wasn’t the man she loved or wanted near, it was like a replaying of Stephanie’s long-time affair with my ex-best friend. Sure, she wasn’t Stephanie. That doesn’t change the fact that when she pushed me away it reminded me of the time two of the people closest to me damaged me, obviously beyond repair.

  Mitch and Stephanie played the “I hate you” role whenever they were around me. However, the pair had what was seemingly the perfect plan. They loved each other, and pretended to love me so that she could get into my bank accounts and clean me out once she became my wife. Mitch would tell me how much he thought I should be with her. He would always tell me how good of a girl she was and how he wished he had someone like her. He encouraged me to buy her engagement ring. He wanted me to marry her, and when the time was right, they would run off together and live a happily ever after.

  Except, the night I planned to surprise her with a proposal, I caught them making love in the condo I was renting for her.

  Ruby’s distrust of me led her to treat me the same way Stephanie had leading up to our breakup. I had noticed Stephanie growing distant and appearing to hide things from me. She had started withholding sex for various reasons from headaches to bad stomachaches, which I later found out was because she was carrying Mitchell’s son that they had every intention of pawning off on me. I spent years pondering over how I could have been such a fool to look those two deceitful motherfuckers in their rancid eyes and not knowing they were plotting to rob me blind.

  I knew with certainty Ruby didn’t want me for my money. If she did, I would gratefully hand over every dime. However, I just didn’t trust my eyes when I looked into hers and pleaded with her to tell me the truth about why we had gone from a loving couple who couldn’t keep our hands off each other, to her pushing me out the door and not wanting me to touch her.

  I may not have been able to lay my eyes on the snake like Mitchell, but I imagined him lurking in the shadows and pleasing Ruby while I wasn’t around. The times I came home from work at lunch or different times in the day and found Ruby not at home were more evidence to fuel my theory. I couldn’t even see the benefit in hiring a P.I. or digging deeper into why Ruby had changed. My mind had made itself up and just like that I was on a death spiral, killing my marriage issues that didn’t belong in this decade. I had fulfilled my selfish desires when Ruby needed me so badly.

  “She should have trusted me with the information about her health. I never would’ve left her side, if I knew what she was going through. Lord, how did I not know?” I turned off the water and leaned against the wall for support. The alcohol had my emotions raging and I wished Ruby were there so I could reprimand her with my strong embrace. I would never let her go again…ever.

  My heart sank to my stomach as I thought about the fact that she could’ve died on a night when I was at Misty’s apartment pounding my frustration away, and being fulfilled with fleshy sexual delight. If I had lost Ruby, my sweet Ruby, while I was betraying our love, I would have surely been sentenced to a spiritual death.

  Finding the strength somewhere deep inside of me, I got out of the shower and walked into my adjacent closet. When I turned on the light, the expansive space flooded with light and hundreds of expensive suits were hanging neatly on racks that surrounded the room. I chose to wear a pair of black slacks and a blue button up shirt. I put on a blue tie and slipped into my favorite pair of Brooks Brothers loafers.

  Gathering my briefcase, I went downstairs. I stopped at the kitchen and glanced at the empty stove and kitchen table. On any other morning, Ruby would have been in there cooking her homemade biscuits and turkey sausage and cutting fresh fruits. I envisioned her smiling at me as I reached into the pan to get a test taste of her fried egg whites. I would have hired her a cook, but she was just the kind of woman that wanted to make our house a home with her own hands.

  Her beauty was rare and I was undeserving of it. Yet, I wanted her back with me, where she belonged. I thought about her naturally rosy lips. How she would look up at me and I would look down at her and place a fury of kisses on her lips. Kissing Ruby’s lips could turn me inside out and make me forget all reasoning. Why did I ever stray away from her beauty?

  I felt a sharp pain shoot through my heart as I imagined the horror and pain she must have felt when she saw me kissing Misty. Not only did she see me with her, she heard me tell Misty that I was only coming home for my kids. That was the one punch that really landed in my gut. It was a heat of the moment statement, something that just seemed like it would be something Misty wanted to hear. Kind of like me telling her that she was so good when we were having sex, when I knew in my heart what we were doing was bad.

  Then, there was Misty in her pencil skirt and revealing blouse smiling at me when I arrived at work. I planned to fire her, but I’d been so busy trying to get in touch with Ruby that I just hadn’t dealt with her yet.

  I looked straight through Misty, as if she weren’t sitting there ogling me, and walked into my office. I had a few notes on my desk that were pressing, so I tried to get some work done. I ju
st couldn’t concentrate. I picked up my phone and dialed Ruby’s number. She didn’t answer, so I left another voice message.

  “Ruby, baby…come back to me. I’m sorry for everything. You mean the world to me. I was blinded by what I thought was your rejection of me. Come home and talk to me,” I said. “If I don’t hear from you by the end of today, I’m putting out a missing person’s report on you and I’m calling a couple more PIs,” I said, hoping my threat would make her come back home. I would do anything to have my lady back in my arms again, where she belonged.

  I closed my phone and my eyes landed on Misty’s. She had been lurking around my office door the entire morning. Thankfully, she hadn’t come in to offer me coffee or to talk to me. Ruby was my top priority and I didn’t need any distractions.

  Misty must have sensed something was up. I hadn’t answered any of her calls since that night I got home and Ruby was gone. I was avoiding her, at all cost. After all, she was the reason that I was in this mess. On top of everything else, Misty’s temptation started a downward spiral that had ruined my marriage.

  Ronan: Ruby, you can’t keep running, especially with our children. I want my children back home immediately!

  I angrily typed a text and then deleted it for a more compassionate one.

  Ronan: Ruby, baby. Our children should be at home. If anyone should leave our house, it’s me. Come back and let’s discuss our future. If you want me out of the house. I will go. I just want to know that you guys are safe.

  To my surprise, I immediately got a message back from Ruby.

  Ruby: Ronan, I need more time before I can sit down and talk to you. You’ll get to see your children in a few days. I’m switching my cell phone off now and won’t be turning it on again until I return.

  I slammed the cell phone down on my desk and shouted, “Shit!”

  “Is everything okay, Ronan?” Misty asked, walking into my office with a concerned look on her face.

  “I wish I could say it was, but it’s not,” I told her.

  She took the seat in front of my desk and I told her everything—about the cancer, Ruby pushing me away because her body was healing and her catching us together.

  “My God, I’m so sorry, Ronan. This is terrible,” she said in shock that never quite reached her eyes. I knew her true motive, but I opened up more to her, since she really was the only person available that I could talk to about the true reason Ruby left.

  “And now, after catching me at your apartment, she’s run away,” I said. “This is not the Ruby I once knew. The Ruby I knew wouldn’t have hid anything from me and she definitely wouldn’t have run.” I ran my fingers over my stubble, contemplating who I had become, as well.

  “Well, these do seem like things a person with weak character would do,” Misty said, as she smirked.

  “You have no right to speak about my wife’s character,” I said, raking my eyes over her cheap skirt and revealing blouse. “What kind of woman are you to downgrade her? You’re no saint, for sure!” I felt myself getting angry. Ruby saved herself for me, while Misty gave herself to me after a flight and a few conversations. She probably did the same with other first-class businessmen.

  What have I done? The extent of damage I couldn’t even measure.

  “Wow,” she touched her necklace and her mouth flew open in surprise. “I didn’t mean to hit a sore spot. I’m just saying, when you pledge to spend your life with someone, you should be woman enough to stand by him and woman enough to let him stand by you in times of need. And to answer your question, I’m the type of woman who would trust you, and love you like you need to be loved. I’m the type of woman who would never hide important facts from you like Ruby did. And another thing, I’ve never pretended to be a saint. I have been honest with you from day one. Now, I have a question for you, Ronan. What did your wife expect to happen if she just up and started acting like she didn’t want you?”

  “I don’t need to listen to this right now, Misty. That will be all,” I said, dismissing her with a wave of my hand toward the door. “Matter of fact, just leave. You’re out of here—” I began my spiel of telling her that she was fired and never to come through the doors of Turner Enterprises again.

  “Stop it! I don’t want to hear it, Ronan,” Misty said. She walked around my desk and put an arm around me. “Ronan, you can’t just dismiss me like that.”

  “Misty, leave now or I’ll have you escorted out.”

  “You’re a good man, Ronan. She drove you into my arms. A place where you love to be. If it hadn’t happened with me, it just would have been someone else. Which I’m thankful it didn’t happen with anyone besides me,” she added.

  I pushed her away from me.

  “On that stupid logic, you and I don’t have anything special, since I easily could’ve slept with another woman,” I said, as I tried to understand where Misty was coming from.

  Before her, I never thought about cheating on Ruby. As far as I was concerned, it was a matter of Ruby pushing me away. Then, I thought I found something in Misty that made every moment I spent with her worth it. She made me forget my problems and remember a time when I was younger, and loved. Most importantly, she just made me feel something other than the insurmountable rejection I felt at home.

  “That’s not what I’m saying and you’re just putting words in my mouth because you want to argue,” Misty said, crossing her arms tight.

  Her chest began to heave and her ample bosom bounced in my face. The sinful smell of her perfume tortured my nostrils and caused my cock to twitch. I looked up into her eyes so that I wouldn’t stare at her beautiful chest for too long. Wrong choice! The vulnerable look that she was staring at me with almost undid me physically.

  No. I can’t do this anymore. I have to get her out of here!

  I had bigger issues to deal with. Being caught up in a lustful tryst with Misty wasn’t an option. I needed my Ruby back and she needed me now more than ever.

  “She needed me, Misty, and I let her down…and, at the end of the day, that’s the bottom line,” I said pushing away from my desk to stand.

  Misty’s arms quickly unraveled and she pulled me to her. Her warm chest pressing against my body immediately triggered my internal turmoil.

  “I don’t believe you let anyone down, Ronan. Ruby let you down by leaving you in the dark. And our passion for one another grew because you needed me to give you what she wasn’t giving you. You needed me…you need me, and I still want and need you. You’re a good man, Ronan. Don’t let anyone tell you any different.”

  There was something untrustworthy in her voice. I didn’t quite believe her. There were times in my life I was a good man. This was not one of those times. However, Misty somehow seemed to think I was worthy of her attention and love. She cupped the sides of my face with her soft hands and pulled me closer to her.

  She captured my lips and somewhere in the midst of the stroke of her tongue I believed I was worthy of all the love she poured into me. I believed I was a good man, as I became wrapped up in Misty’s undeniable force. Once again, she was pulling me out of the deep abyss of self-pity and into her bosom.

  My hands roamed down to her plump bottom and I yanked her up close to me. She offered herself to me by wrapping her legs around my waist. It was then that I was lifted into the graces of her universe. Taken out of my misery, if only momentarily. Having her wrapped around me gave me a brief reprieve from my inner turmoil.

  Ruby…

  A flash of my wife’s beautiful smile ran through my mind as the smell of rum resurfaced in our kiss. Misty moaned in pleasure of our combined essence, the same way Ruby used to sound. The whirlwind of a sensual kiss led to the quick removal of any barriers between us and me bending Misty over my desk and reuniting with her in the most intimate way. I pumped hard deliberate strokes into her slick body. The wonderful feel of her tight, wet pussy pulled me further away from the mess I’d made, while dragging me deeper into it.

  I quivered with every thrust, w
anting to feel anything other than the deep pain I had been feeling. I didn’t make love to Misty as I had in the past. I fucked her, hard, showing no mercy. With every stroke, I tried to pound out the feeling of doom that had become my only emotion.

  "Whatttt…are….youuuuu….doing….to….me, Ronan?" she asked as I rammed vigorously flesh against flesh.

  “Tell me I’m a good man, Misty. Say it!” I growled as I went deeper and deeper into her wet snatch.

  “You’re…a…gooooood…man!” she said as she lay pinned against my desk with my hand gripping both of her hips.

  “Ugh!” I groaned as a shockwave of pleasure rippled through my body. I stroked one final time before releasing the most forceful stream of cum into her soft center, while continuing to thrust all my hungry cock into her.

  “Oh, Ronan, that was explosive,” she said breathlessly with a smile as she crooked her neck and looked at me over her shoulders.

  “I’m not through with you by a long shot,” I said, slamming a surprised Misty onto her back.

  I spread her across my desk with her legs wide. I lifted her legs to balance on both sides of my hips before I plunged into her hot snatch once again. I was like a mad man on a mission as my erection got lost deep within her comforting walls.

  Misty’s moans reached my ears and besieged me to pump harder. I could hear our juices and smell the scent of our sex permeating the thick air.

  “Oh, my God!” Misty cried out, for my ears only. “Fuck me, Ronan. This pussy can be yours every day and every night, if you want it.”

  Misty’s dirty talk was egging me on. The twisted turns of my rolling hips caused sweat to bead at my temple. I gave Misty’s pliable, gushy heat a workout and the reward caused a tingle to begin at the base of my cock and a tightening in my balls.

  “Is this the way you like to be fucked?” I grunted out between clenched teeth.

  “Yes, yes, yes!” she murmured. “Right there, Ronan. That’s the spot,” she sighed aloud as I hit her hot spot repeatedly.

  I could feel her walls tightening around my hard cock. My eyes rolled back inside my head as I continued to fuck Misty relentlessly.