The Daughter He Wanted

by Kristina Knight

  “I’d like that. If you’re sure?”

  Paige nodded, glad he couldn’t see her face in the dark. Because she wasn’t ready, not really. There would never be a good time to tell her parents Kaylie had a father and the father was a park ranger. Alex and his job were great in Paige’s mind, but Hank and Dot were two completely different people. “Would you like to invite the Parkers? We might as well all start getting to know one another.”

  The thought of meeting his former wife’s family made Paige’s stomach lurch, but it wasn’t like he didn’t have a past. This was one date, but she wanted another.

  Alex was quiet for a long time before he spoke. “I don’t think that is a good idea,” he finally said and something painful stabbed at Paige’s heart. “I told them about Kaylie. It didn’t go well. I’m not sure they’re ready to actually meet her. Or you.”

  He kept hold of her hand, but Paige sensed a distance between them, brought on by whatever was happening with his in-laws. She didn’t like that their pain or whatever it was was pushing against Alex. A hot ribbon of anger streaked through her when she thought of them not liking Kaylie solely based on the fact that Paige, and not their daughter, was her mother. That was quickly followed by icy coldness at the thought of Kaylie dying and some other woman trying to take her place in the far distant future. Paige swallowed.

  “Then we should give them more time. I’ll call my parents, but we’ll wait for the full-on family introductions.”

  Whether they were still dating in a few months or not, she would always be Kaylie’s mom. He would always be Kaylie’s dad. Whatever was starting between them seemed solid and she wanted to test the boundaries, but not at the risk of causing Alex more pain. If he wasn’t comfortable inviting the Parkers to lunch she would wait.

  She was used to waiting.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “DO YOU HAVE those pictures?” Sue’s voice was quiet over the phone. It was Thursday morning and Alex was hiking along Mooner’s Hollow again, taking advantage of another Indian summer day because surely there weren’t many left. Cold winds would begin pouring in, dropping the temperatures. There would be an ice storm, maybe two, and then a few light snowfalls before spring thawed the ground and he was able to get back out onto the trails. Maybe he could convince Paige to bring Kaylie out, before it got too cold.

  Maybe they could come out, just the two of them, for a picnic.

  He’d been daydreaming about Paige. Again. Thinking about kissing her under the trees last night. Thanking whatever lucky star shined down on him that she didn’t push when he said he didn’t want John and Sue to come to the barbecue. Keeping her separate from his past, or the past away from her, had seemed like a simple thing in theory. One little test of the decision, though, and he got antsy.

  “Alex?” His mother-in-law’s voice brought him back to reality. “Do you have the pictures you mentioned the other day?”

  Pictures, pictures. Attic. The remembrance book for John. That picture of Dee on the lake as the cover. In the attic were two boxes of scrapbooked pictures and several Dee never got around to putting into books.

  “In the attic. Do you have any idea which pictures you’d like?”

  “How could I know that when I haven’t seen them?” This time her voice held acid and crackled over the line. This was the Sue he remembered. The Sue who took no prisoners, had plans and didn’t take guff from anyone. Not that he was throwing guff; he thought she would have an idea which pictures she wanted. She’d helped with the books, after all.

  Not that he would risk getting her more upset by pointing that out.

  “I meant types,” he tried as cover. “Casual, portraits. I can go up in the attic tonight and pick some out.”

  Sue sighed over the line, the sound long and mournful. “I hoped you wouldn’t mind if I came over. If that wouldn’t be too much bother.”

  Alex tilted his head left and then right, as if that might relieve some of the tension pouring over him. Sue wanted to come over and it likely had nothing to do with the pictures. If he knew his mother-in-law this visit would be about walking down memory lane. Making sure he was still...what? In mourning? God, was him spending a single Saturday away from the Parker farm such a big deal? He wiped his hand over his brow and then pulled the black ball cap from his back pocket. Looked into the distance.

  It was Thursday. He had no plans. There was no chance Paige would show up at his home unannounced. They weren’t at that point of their relationship. He could invite Sue and John over for a quick dinner, and while John watched Thursday Night Football Sue and Alex could look at a few pictures in the attic.

  Only he didn’t want to do that, not really. Not tonight. Not when he was working so hard to make this work with Paige. It felt like a betrayal of sorts. He was thirty-two years old and he wanted a life again.

  “I can see I’ve overstepped,” Sue said, her voice brittle. Angry. Maybe a little bit scared. “I thought you meant it when you said this new part of your life wouldn’t take you away from us.”

  Damn it, now he’d upset her even more because the fear outweighed the anger as Sue spoke. It was the fear that got to him. Separate boxes, remember? Paige was in Bonne Terre. The Parkers just outside Farmington. He was the middle ground, in Park Hills. Simple enough to invite them over for dinner, and do the family thing. Then he would call Paige tomorrow and set something up with her.

  He could balance it. Balance the past and the present. Neither had to disrupt the future he wanted to build.

  * * *

  PAIGE SETTLED AGAINST the sofa and read Alex’s text.

  Should I bring anything?

  It was Saturday morning and, just like Monday through Friday, Kaylie was still sleeping. Paige, on the other hand, had forgot to turn off the alarm, and once she was awake there was no going back to sleep. She’d decided today should be a fun day—swimming at the indoor rec pool, and before she could change her mind she’d invited Alex to join them.

  Just yourself. Swim trunks. I know rangers are always supposed to be prepared, but I don’t think the lifeguards would appreciate you swimming in jeans.

  It was a natural progression. Meeting with Kaylie with a group of people, coming to her lesson. Their first date and now a playdate with just the three of them. Normal. And the fact that he didn’t want his in-laws at the barbecue on Sunday was understandable. Why put pressure on them when neither Alex nor Paige were positive where the personal part of their relationship was going?

  She wasn’t upset, not at all. His extended family, his prerogative. That scary little voice that kept bringing his reluctance up, kept reminding her of the mistakes she made in the past, could go to hell.

  You just want to see if my bottom half is as tanned as my top half, don’t you?

  Paige chuckled. She did wonder, mostly because her summer tan was long gone but Alex’s was still holding on.

  If I wondered about that, I’d have said to leave the trunks at home.

  Too late, she realized how that sounded.

  I swear I did not mean it that way.

  A moment later her cell pinged and the light burn on her cheeks deepened.

  You’re blushing, aren’t you?

  Paige texted back a nodding head.

  See you in a couple of hours. With trunks.

  * * *

  ALEX WAS EARLY. He jumped into the warm pool water and swam a lap, just to take the edge off. He needed to be relaxed. Pleasant. The Alex he’d been after another text-flirting incident with Paige.

  Instead, his insides felt balled up. He couldn’t stop clenching and unclenching his fists. He shouldn’t have taken the call. When Sue and John’s home number had popped up on his caller ID Alex’s first instinct had been to ignore it. Thursday-night dinner hadn’t gone well. Sue brought food, as she always did. Food that was themed “Deanna and Alex.” Dee’s favorite veggie casserole, Alex’s favorite dessert. John watched football while Alex showed Sue the boxes of pictures he brought down from the a
ttic. Held her hand as she cried over their vacation albums. Scolded him because he didn’t finish the projects Dee left behind.

  Reminded him—over and over—that Dee had treasured her memories. Which had to mean Alex didn’t. That he was trampling all over their memories because of Kaylie. Thank God she didn’t know about Paige.

  Friday morning she called in a panic because a storm blew their power and John had left for the day. Alex hurried to the farm reset breakers to find a hot breakfast on the stove and cold orange juice on the table, which would have been impossible to make. Added to that, John would never leave Sue home without power. He bit back the sharp tip of his annoyance at Sue’s manipulations and reset the breaker. Was firm when he turned down her breakfast invitation.

  She turned on the waterworks a moment later, telling him how distant John had become over the past weeks. Blaming it on Alex’s absence from their lives.

  John didn’t seem absent to him. They’d talked on the phone a few times. Texted when the Rams won their first game of the season. He was fine at dinner on Thursday, but Sue didn’t want to hear that and the more she carried on, the less Alex wanted to listen. He’d snapped at her, damn it, snapped when she just needed a little attention.

  He swam harder, trying to push the hurt look in her eyes away with his own exhaustion, but it didn’t work. He could still hear her voice. Could still feel the pain in his chest because he didn’t want to hurt her, but he couldn’t run to her rescue every five minutes.

  Not any longer.

  He completed five more laps of the pool before Kaylie’s high-pitched squeal rent the air.

  “Alex! Mama lost her swimsuit,” she exclaimed, kicking her flip-flops toward an empty chair as she ran across the floor.

  “Walk!” Paige and Alex both exclaimed and Kaylie skidded to a stop, dropping her towel in a puddle.

  “Sorry, no running. I ’member.” Her leggings and tee were next to hit the damp floor and then she fiddled with the buckle on her swim bubble.

  “I didn’t lose the suit, sweetpea. I just forgot it was in the dryer. Sorry we’re late.” She picked up the towel and spread it over a nearby chair to dry before offering Alex a quick wave. “I see you’ve cleared the place for us.”

  He shrugged, and just like that the annoyance at Sue was gone, replaced by Paige and Kaylie. “I have my ways.”

  “I supposed you ordered up the sunny day, too, just to make sure everyone enjoyed what could be the last warm day of the year?” Paige clipped the bubble in place on Kaylie’s back and the little girl cannonballed into the pool.

  “What can I say? We rangers have connections in all the right places.” Kaylie swam over to him and demanded he watch her sink under the surface and hold her breath.

  Alex watched but his focus was on Paige, still sitting on the poolside bench. He sank to the bottom with Kaylie and quickly kicked to the surface. Blew the water from his nose and tried to refocus on Kaylie. But Paige still held his attention.

  She sat on the bench seat, untying her shoes. Her tankini top skimmed over her flat tummy to rest just above the waistband of her jogging pants. Once her feet were bare she hooked her thumbs into the pants and pushed them over her hips, revealing a long expanse of creamy white legs, delicate knees and ankle bones his mouth begged to taste.

  Alex’s mouth went dry as he watched her and the fact that she was oblivious to him made it all the more enticing. She wasn’t putting on a show, not with Kaylie in the pool. This was Paige being Paige. Natural.

  Sweet.

  Sexier than anything he’d seen in longer than he cared to remember.

  “What did you think, Alex?” Kaylie splashed around him, having given up on him counting while she held her breath. She flicked water toward him but the water did nothing to cool his reaction to the woman across the room. Kaylie splashed again and Alex forced himself to refocus.

  This day was about Kaylie, not getting wet and wild with her mother.

  Well, not yet, anyway. Paige finished folding the clothes into her oversize tote and walked to the side of the pool. Her legs were firm, her toes painted a delicate pink, and for the first time she didn’t have splatters of oils or watercolors across her feet. He kind of missed those speckles of color.

  She dove into the pool and surfaced a few feet away. Pushed her wet hair away from her face and joined Kaylie in splashing around the shallow end of the pool and singing silly songs. When Kaylie paddled off to push plastic boats around the ladder area Alex turned to Paige.

  “You look amazing.”

  She blushed. “I, uh... Thanks for coming today. Kaylie hasn’t stopped talking about swimming with you since I woke her up this morning.”

  “Thanks for inviting me.” He swam closer to her and his lightly kicking feet connected with hers. Through the water he felt a burst of heat. He cut his eyes toward the lifeguard stand but the teen in the chair seemed more intent on the book in his hands than on the people in the pool. Kaylie was perfectly safe at the ladder with her bubble on. “I have this overwhelming urge to kiss you,” he said, pulling her into his arms and then kicking out of the deep end until he could set his feet on solid ground. He wrapped his arms around her waist but Paige pushed away.

  “That isn’t a good idea.”

  “It’s a great idea.”

  She kicked away, putting a few inches of space between them. “Not with Kaylie at the other end of the pool.”

  “She’s going to figure it out soon enough.”

  “Figure what out?”

  “That we’re dating. That we kiss like the princes and princesses in her movies.”

  * * *

  PAIGE DIDN’T WANT to be the voice of reason. Didn’t want to be the grown-up who was too old to make out at the pool.

  But that was what moms did. They were the voice of reason even when it took all their strength not to reach out and touch the muscled chest of the hot guy before them.

  “Even so, I’d prefer to have the conversation with her at home and not in the locker room at the rec center,” she said primly.

  A devilish light came into Alex’s eyes and he swam toward her. Paige backed away but he just kept coming. She turned, put her face in the water and struck out for Kaylie’s corner of the pool, not caring if she was the prissy girl who wouldn’t kiss the guy in the pool.

  She’d nearly gone up in flames when he mentioned wanting to kiss her.

  Paige had the feeling if he actually followed through the heat from his touch would empty the entire pool of water. She reached Kaylie just as Alex’s hand closed around her ankle. She held on to the side, inviting Kaylie to join their game of chase. It seemed like the best option.

  After all, he was chasing her.

  She wasn’t opposed to him catching her, as long as it wasn’t in the pool with her daughter a few feet away. At least not just yet. Maybe when Kaylie knew everything.

  Maybe when the relationship was on more solid ground and Paige could answer the questions she knew would come with certainty and not just wishful thinking.

  The three of them played in the shallow end for an hour, blowing bubbles in the water, practicing Kaylie’s favorite strokes and racing the small plastic boats around the entry steps.

  Paige caught Alex watching her several times and the look in his eyes wasn’t one of fun. Her toes curled when his hand innocently brushed her shoulder. Her abs tightened as the back of his hand came in contact with her belly. She fanned herself. She was burning up and it had nothing to do with the water temperature and everything to do with the man floating on his back in the deep end of the pool.

  Alex worked with Kaylie on her floats and then her arm movements and the little girl ate up the attention. Paige’s heart clutched. She was a good mom, she knew that, but the more Alex was around the more obvious it was that Kaylie had missed something in her life.

  No, not something. Someone.

  “Kaylie, focus.” Alex’s voice brought her out of her thoughts and back to the pool. “Watch my han
ds, see how they turn when I point to the ceiling?” He demonstrated but Paige was more interested in her daughter than Alex’s swimming abilities.

  Her daughter’s eyes were wide and attentive, but she was tired. Breathing heavily even with the bubble helping her stay afloat. She was exhausted, Paige realized. An hour in the pool was easy when you could touch the bottom but not so simple when you had to kick the entire time.

  “Alex—” she began but Alex cut her off, intent on Kaylie reaching up and over in her back float with the proper form. Kaylie tried again but her little arms were too tired to hold the form and she dropped them into the water before her fingertips could point toward the ceiling. Kaylie’s face crumpled and Alex pressed his lips together in frustration.

  He isn’t used to this part of it, Paige reminded herself. He wasn’t used to the limits even rambunctious and energetic children had, not used to teaching on a toddler level rather than an adult one. Still, she couldn’t keep the frustration from her voice.

  “Alex.” Finally, she caught his attention. “She’s had enough.”

  He looked at Kaylie, really looked, and Paige saw his face pale when he took in the little girl’s exhaustion and the fierce glint of determination in her eyes. Paige gathered Kaylie to her, holding her up, but she kept wriggling.

  “I want to try.” She repeated the words as Paige held her still. “I can do it. Just like Alex.”

  He sank into the water, his arms making ripples in the waves as he reached to push a wet strand of hair off Kaylie’s face. “No, sweetpea,” he said, “you’ve tried hard enough. Let’s just have a float, no kicking.” He turned his troubled gaze to Paige and mouthed an “I’m sorry” as she floated on her back, pulling Kaylie by her little hands. Paige shook her head.