The Melody of the Soul

by Liz Tolsma

  “He won’t.” Patricie sat beside the man she called Georg and touched his arm. “He needs to go into hiding, along with Slečna Zadoková and her grandmother. For now, please, help me find a safe place for them. And myself.”

  The young man’s look softened when he gazed at Patricie. “You? Why?”

  “I helped them escape. The soldier knows me, and knows where I live.”

  “This is the one you’ve been seeing.”

  “Yes.”

  “Listen, this is no time for conversation.” Horst pulled out a chair for Frau Doubeková and motioned for her to sit. “We need a place to stay. Now. As fast as you can arrange it. I can’t guarantee that we haven’t been followed.”

  Patricie tugged on a stray strand of her brown hair. “I was careful. He didn’t see where we went. No one followed us.”

  “You may be sure, but I’m not. Stefan is crafty and shrewd. He’ll spring on you without a moment’s notice.”

  “I know that.” The young woman barely came to his shoulder, but a sharpness, a fierceness, edged her words. “I’ve been dating him for a few months now. Not by my own choice.”

  Horst turned back to Georg. “You must know of a safe place for us. One not far. The running is hard on Frau Doubeková.”

  “Don’t worry about me.” Anna’s grandmother cut in on the conversation. “Take care of yourselves. You’re young. I’m a hindrance.”

  Anna hugged her grandmother from behind. “You’re no such thing.”

  Horst nodded. “If one goes, we all go. Now, that’s settled. Where to, Georg?”

  “There is a farm outside of the city, near Libochovice. I haven’t used it before because it’s so far out. Right now, it’s the best option.”

  “How do we get there?”

  “I have to think.” Georg paced the tiny room. “A vehicle would be too suspicious. And you don’t have the proper identification for the train. It has to be a farm wagon. Less likely to be noticed by the authorities and less likely to be searched. At least, I hope that’s the case. But it will take me some time to contact the farmer and arrange for him to bring his wagon here.”

  “Time we don’t have.” Horst pounded the table. “What else?”

  “That’s all. If you don’t like the proposal, go somewhere else.”

  Anna stood beside Horst. “What other options do we have? Where would we go? Do you have a hiding place?”

  Horst fidgeted. He didn’t have any other ideas. It was his fault Georg had no secure place in the city. The pain of his actions stabbed Horst’s heart.

  He was a victim of his own cowardice. Now he had Stefan hot on his trail. And very few outsmarted that man, even in his current state of inebriation. Could they find shelter in one of the buildings Horst inspected? He knew every nook and cranny of a few of them. But none of them provided what they needed. He shook his head.

  “Then we have to take what Slečna Kadlecová and her friend offer us. While it may not be ideal, it’s all we have at this point. We didn’t notify him we were on our way.”

  Horst’s stomach tightened, relaxed, then tightened again. Anna was right. At the moment, their choices were limited. Actually, there was only one choice. “Fine. There is no other way. We have to take what we can get.”

  Georg narrowed his eyes as he stared at Horst. “I want you out of here as fast as you want to be gone. Let’s get you settled so I can make the arrangements.” He showed the group a mattress for the women to share and the couch for Horst. “If the Germans raid us, it’s imperative to put everything away. And do it fast. I live alone here. They can’t discover any evidence to the contrary.

  “After that’s been stashed, you need to hide. There is a false door in the attic with a small room behind it. While I let the soldiers in, you scamper up there. You close the door from the inside. Is that all clear?”

  “Will the plan work?” Horst cracked his knuckles. Would they be able to get Anna’s grandmother into hiding fast enough?

  Georg pushed up his glasses. “We can only pray it will.”

  Anna settled her grandmother onto the mattress and tucked the thin blanket around her. Patricie and Georg sat at the ancient table and spoke in tones so low that, despite the minute size of the flat, Horst couldn’t hear their conversation. He reclined on the lumpy couch and rubbed his tense shoulders.

  How long before Stefan arrived? If only Horst had stood up to him today. Maybe they would all be safe now. Perhaps not him, but Anna and Frau Doubeková.

  How would he ever look Mutti in the eye again?

  Anna kissed her grandmother’s forehead and came and sat beside him. “What’s wrong?”

  He gave a short laugh. “We’re running for our lives, and you ask what’s wrong?”

  “This, we were prepared for. We knew the day might come when the Nazis discovered us. But there is more. I see it in the set of your jaw.”

  Did she know him that well already? “It doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

  “It pertains to what you told me earlier, ne? About the raid?”

  She’d pierced to the heart of the matter in a few, simple words. Had he become transparent?

  He swallowed as the words lodged in his throat. He cleared it. “Ja.”

  “What?”

  “My actions put you and your grandmother into danger. Slečna Kadlecová, too.”

  “How? I don’t understand.”

  “That was the raid I was involved in. Because of me, Georg’s operation is compromised.”

  “With or without you, Hauptsturmführer Jaeger would have gone to that house today. Would have found the Jews there. It’s not because of you that Georg is in danger, but because of him.”

  Horst listened to her. Even when she spoke, her words lilted like music. But she didn’t know the entire story. “Didn’t you hear Georg? Stefan killed the old man. And I did nothing.”

  “You can’t save the entire world.”

  Nein, he couldn’t. Too much madness permeated the earth. Too much for one man. “But I didn’t make a difference when I should have.”

  “To Babička and me, you have made a difference. Because of you, we aren’t at Terezín, facing the deplorable living conditions. I believe she would be dead by now if we had gone. And maybe I would be, too. You saved our lives. You made a difference.”

  But he wanted to do more. He hadn’t helped her brother yet.

  Even though forced to go underground, he would. Somehow, he’d find a way.

  Anna and Hauptmann Engel sat together on the couch, he bent over, she rubbing his back. Patricie observed them for a moment. What was their relationship? Had it progressed beyond rescuer and rescued? Is that why he protected Anna and her grandmother?

  Georg fiddled with his brown sweater’s frayed hem. “Why are you back here?”

  “Because I need a safe place for these people. And myself. Where else could I go?”

  “So I was a last resort. The only resort.”

  “Ne, not like that at all. I didn’t want to leave the organization.” She paused and licked her lips. “Or you.”

  “Then why did you?”

  “For your own good. Don’t you see? Hauptsturmführer Jaeger demanded more and more of my time. He knew where I lived. Sometimes, he ran into me, and by no coincidence, to be sure. I didn’t want to lead him here, or to anywhere the Jews hid. I couldn’t take that chance. Leaving the work was my only option.”

  “You ripped my heart out.” Georg took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

  “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t explain.”

  “He meant that much to you?”

  “He means nothing. You have to believe me. He chose me. And when a high-ranking SS officer chooses you, you don’t refuse him.”

  “We all have choices in life. There is always a way out.”

  “You don’t understand. There wasn’t.” But had she been firmer in her refusal, would he have left her alone?

  “An important, influential, hand
some man notices you, and you’re flattered. You liked the attention. I can’t blame you. What do I offer? I’m poor, awkward, and caught up in the cause.”

  “That’s not it at all.” But was it? Did Georg speak the truth?

  “Take a good look at yourself. Can you live with what you did?” He scraped his chair back and stood. “Get some rest. I have to work on moving you all to the country.”

  “Please, don’t be upset with me.”

  “I’m not. Just disappointed in you.”

  No more disappointed than she was in herself.

  And then a knock came at the door.

  At the sound of a knock on the door, Anna’s heart rate kicked up, racing along at a breakneck speed. Hauptsturmführer Jaeger already?

  Georg motioned for them to be quiet. He crept to the door. “Who is there?”

  “Open up.”

  Georg looked to Patricie, who shook her head no. It wasn’t the man they escaped from. But neither Georg nor Patricie recognized the voice.

  Horst caressed her hand. “Don’t worry.”

  A moment before, she’d comforted him. With him by her side, her breaths remained even.

  “To the attic, everyone. Take your shoes and head to the back entry that leads to the hallway to the stairs. As soon as you’re by that door, I’ll open this one. Slip out as fast as possible and make as little noise as you can. Hurry.”

  Horst helped Babička to her feet and led her in the direction of the back door. Anna had never seen a flat with two doors before. Who knew how handy they would prove?

  The three of them tiptoed to the exit. Anna prayed her wobbling legs would hold her upright.

  Georg leaned against the door. “You, too, Patricie. The Germans will be looking for you as well.”

  She joined them. The second Georg turned the knob, Horst poked out of the door to make sure the hall was empty. He nodded. The group slipped out the back way and up the stairs. An old riser creaked under Anna’s foot.

  Everyone froze. Holding her breath, she peered down the corridor. No one. Good. They hurried the rest of the way up the steps, Babička bringing up the rear. She was clutching her chest by the time they reached the attic.

  “Is it your heart?” The coldness in the pit of Anna’s stomach never went way these days.

  “Ne. I’m just a worn out old woman. Why do you bother with me?”

  “Because I love you. And I made a promise to Máma and Táta. One I intend to keep.”

  Horst groped the wall. “Georg said to press on the panel, and it will come loose. I just need to find it.” A very long minute later, the wall opened to reveal a small space. “I’m not sure we will all fit.”

  “You have to squeeze in.” Patricie slipped inside first. “They cannot be large or they will draw suspicion. The SS is smart.” She eyed the eagle on Horst’s chest.

  Anna pushed Babička inside next and followed her. They stood shoulder to shoulder. A large person would never fit. Horst wormed his way beside her and slid the door shut.

  Absolute darkness consumed them. No moonlight slithered under the door. Anna’s hands trembled, despite her best efforts to still them. Whoever came to Georg’s flat might hear the pounding of her heart. That sound alone might give them away.

  “How are you doing?” Horst’s soft words in her ear sent a tingle up her spine.

  “The life is ebbing out of me.”

  “Ebbing out of you?”

  “I’m scared. A few times, I thought we might be sent to Terezín. But even under cover, I’m vulnerable.”

  “This must be what the Jews I arrested this morning felt like.” His words were subdued.

  “There isn’t music here. It’s silent. That’s what I hate the most.” She leaned on his strong chest. His heart tapped out a rhythm similar to hers.

  “You’ll make beautiful music again soon. Don’t let us rob you of that.”

  “Us? Don’t group yourself with those people.” Her throat tightened. “You’re not like them. Look at what you’ve done for my grandmother and me. Please, don’t say that.”

  “I took your music from you.”

  The creaking of the stair jolted her to silence. Someone was coming? Who?

  Whoever it was didn’t shout or make a ruckus like a group of soldiers might. If only she could see Horst’s face, to read the emotions there. She didn’t dare speak. Maybe the Germans heard the two of them. She might have given them away.

  Her small dinner churned inside her. She fought to keep the food down.

  The footsteps stopped in front of them. Babička squeezed Anna’s hand. She returned the gesture. Would her grandmother survive even the trip to Terezín?

  The door slid open. “It’s safe. You can come out.”

  Georg. Horst left the hiding spot. Anna stumbled after him. “I’m so glad it’s you.”

  Patricie exited after Babička. “Who was it?”

  “Václav Bosko.”

  “You told him about us?”

  Horst supported Anna around her waist. “Someone else knows we’re here?”

  “He works with us. He has a cold. That’s why we didn’t recognize his voice. Don’t worry. I trust him with my life.”

  “And you trust him with mine? And with the lives of these women?”

  “Yes, I do. You have nothing to fear. He is going to contact the farmer to take you from the city. He expects the man will arrived a few hours after that. The plan to get you out of here is in motion.”

  They followed Georg downstairs. From a small wardrobe, Patricie brought out a set of sheets and several blankets. “I know it’s difficult to put your lives in the hands of complete strangers, people who have no seeming motivation to help you. But we have a reason. No one should be hunted because of the blood that flows in their veins. We’re all created in God’s image. That is worth protecting.”

  Anna marveled at Patricie as the two of them worked to make up the mattress. “Have you been involved long?”

  “Almost from the beginning. I knew too many Jews from the conservatory. They’re good people. They don’t deserve the treatment the Germans are doling out to them. But you. I knew you were Jewish, though I didn’t think of you like that.”

  “With a last name like Zadok?”

  “I guess because you spoke about going to church.”

  “My physical ancestry is Jewish. My spiritual ancestry is Christian.” Anna tucked in the blanket.

  They all settled down for the night. Horst’s even snoring warmed her. With him a few meters away from her, the world wasn’t as frightening of a place. Still, she couldn’t sleep. Insomnia had plagued her since childhood. Often, she imagined playing a piece of music, and the waves of sound lulled her to slumber.

  But no melody came to her tonight. Like she’d told Horst, this place sucked it all from her. She couldn’t bring to mind even a simple tune.

  She hugged Babička.

  “What’s troubling you, beruško?”

  “Aren’t you frightened? What’s going to happen next? Will we be safe at the farm?”

  “God gives me peace.”

  “How can you say that?”

  “My heart pounded as fast and as hard as yours in that closet.”

  “You are afraid.”

  “At first, I was. But I prayed. I’m always praying. For strength. For peace. For deliverance.”

  “And it helps?”

  “God is faithful.”

  Oh, how easy to say the words. How difficult to believe them.

  Especially when the days, weeks, and months ahead promised nothing but blackness.

  A shaft of sun poked into the tiny apartment. Horst worked to keep his voice down. “A pony and cart? This is your grand plan to get us from the city?” He stood across the minuscule kitchen table from Georg, convinced the man had lost his mind. “These are three women, one of them elderly and with a heart condition. It’s out of the question.”

  Georg didn’t flinch. “You are just what I expected. An arrogant, se
lf-centered, spoiled German. My guess is that you grew up pampered and that your father bought you this commission so you wouldn’t have to get your hands dirty.”

  “You know nothing about me.” But the man’s words hit too close to the mark.

  “Then enlighten me. Tell me all about your hard upbringing. How your family slaved each day to eke out just enough of a living to put a cabbage and a couple potatoes on the table for nine children. How you watched your siblings die of hardship and disease. How you didn’t have enough money to pay for coal in the winter. Tell me.”

  Horst sat hard on the kitchen chair.

  “That’s what I thought. Don’t come in here with your manicured hands and pressed clothes and presume to know better than I do how to take care of women and old people. It’s thanks to the likes of you that we have to do this at all.” A vein bulged in Georg’s neck.

  Patricie touched his upper arm. “Shouting won’t solve anything. I think Hauptmann Engel wanted to express his concern for Paní Doubeková. It will be a long and difficult trip for her.”

  Horst glanced over his shoulder at Anna and her grandmother as they sat on the couch. “And you will come with us.”

  Frau Doubeková laughed. “I didn’t say anything. Please, don’t worry about me. Remember, I was around before all these fancy inventions like cars and telephones and such. We lived different kinds of lives in those days. My family had money, but I knew some who wore gloves with the fingertips cut out during the winter so they could play the piano.”

  “Then it’s settled.” Georg pounded the table like a judge pounded his bench with a gavel.

  “Ne, it’s not. Figure out a different strategy. We don’t have boots or hats or warm clothes. Nothing but what we wear on our backs.”

  “The farmer will bring what you need. And Paní Doubeková won’t ride in the back, covered with straw. He has his mother’s papers, which should do fine for her. Do you have any other questions?”

  Anna left her grandmother’s side to stand beside Horst. He stared down at her, so small, her brown eyes wide and large. “It’s fine. As long as Babička is comfortable, I don’t care.”

  He rubbed the chill from her hands. “Will the cold affect your playing? The lead violinist with the Munich symphony walked around with woolen mittens all winter to protect his fingers.”