Scatterbrain
Page 24
Test your initial assumptions this way, every time. “Ask the next question.” (Theodore Sturgeon.)
Larry
Subj: Re: “Warming Trine”
Date: 12/20/99
File: C:My DocumentsBrendatrines fliers. doc (165376 bytes) DL Time (32000 bps): < 1 minute
I read through it again, finding no change but good change; making small cosmetic changes of my own…until I was near the end. Then I started compulsive fiddling.
No facts have changed. I trimmed a little, I added some detail. I reworked dialogue. My intent: at the end, they’re talking, they’re actually conversing, following old habits that had been shelved. And…I eased Kimber off to sleep.
So look it over. But I’m going to mail it to Eleanor Wood, my agent, to be sold.
Larry
Subj: Re: Generation Gap Outline Date: 12/27/99
In a message dated 12/26/99 8:05:12 AM Pacific Standard Time,
<< Subj: Generation Gap Outline
Got it.
LN
Hope you and Marilyn had a great Christmas. We did up here—very nice day.
BC
We had a very nice two days.
It’s tradition around here: Christmas Eve lunch gathering the whole Doheny clan; evening, fannish-flavored gathering to open gifts at the Pelz place. Christmas morning at my mother’s. Add a dinner at a friend’s.
The Doheny clan has grown enormous. As they say of fandom…we could rule the world if we could all be pointed in the same direction. We were given badges with our names and lineage, no kidding, and we needed them too. (At least, I did.)
LN
Ok. Here’s what I’ve done:
Gone through and integrated your comments from the last run through. Added a lot to the story plot line—the front and back have a shape if you like it. The middle needs comprehension of the terraforming project to take its shape further, but the ghosts of it are there.
Added bits of stuff I’ve learned from bits of research.
Added a to-do list so you can look at it and let me know if it’s a good set and what’s missing (remember I’m a true novice here—this will be longer than anything I’ve even thought of before).
What I could use help with:
Take a look at this when you get time. It’s not an emergency—I’m temporarily on to other things and it’s time in my process for this to lie fallow so my hind brain can think about it undisturbed.
When you do look, add, play, enjoy. Please review/comment on plot ideas—this is an easy time to change any of it. I don’t want to get too attached to anybody you’re going to want to delete.
Don’t worry about keeping things in their places if that’s not conducive to how you work. I can reorganize any time—and when I’m on a creative bent with it I ignore the organization and go back for it later.
BC
I’m on it. If you can keep us organized, that would be great!
LN
My next steps:
Ignore this except the broad research stuff. I won’t add directly to the outline document until I get it back from you.
Work on stories. Send them to you when I’ve done my next re-writes. It’ll be two weeks probably for Dreaming Alioth to show up—this week I’ve got to catch up on web client work, do the town Y2K coordinator work, and play with insurance adjusters and car salesmen.
Good plan.
LN
PS—my teeth are clean!
BC
I can grasp that it’s an odd Christmas present; but I haven’t forgotten how born-again clean my teeth felt the first time I used it. Jerry was going to buy me one until he saw I’d beat him to it.
Happy New Year!
Love, Larry
Subj: Re: Space Access 2000
Date: 1/17/00
In a message dated 1/17/00 6:31:42 PM Pacific Standard Time,
<< Subj: Re: Space Access 2000
Date: 1/17/00 6:31:42 PM Pacific Standard Time
Oh—and I’m not sure terraforming is forbidden—but rather genocide is. The crime was killing the fliers. Terraforming itself is fine—as long as you’re not terraforming someone else’s home out of existence.
BC
Think again. Another species was randomly chosen to JUDGE the Thray’s intent. As humans clearly didn’t have the weaponry to enforce a judgment, someone else must be standing by. We see no evidence that the Thray were suspected of genocide; why would their judges’ lives have been given into their hands?
And why would they be suspected, why would anyone be, unless terraforming is very, very difficult? If terraformable worlds are scarce enough, the Thray action becomes reasonable. They know they’ll get a habitable world because they know (and nobody else does) that they started with one.
Keep this wording. We may need to use it. Kimber may not have understood how difficult terraforming a dead world is. Any difficulty with Mars, she may attribute to ineptitude from unskilled humanity.
LN
(I learned that Stapledon’s “Fifth Men” story already established that as a problem—he had his long lived terraforming men have to regretfully kill off Venusians, but that’s a different story…)
BC
Different species too: no longer mankind.
LN
In the Terraforming book, I found a word: “Soletta”—A space based mirror designed to enhance a planet’s insolation (amount of Solar Radiation…). The book even appears to suggest that ice is the best volatile to be affecting with soletta’s since it would warm more easily that regolith (non soil planet crust). Fogg talks about arrays of mirrors, but given the way we are going with robotics I think the large numbers of tiny ones is a real plausible answer. We’ll be ahead of the crowd!
BC
Dang—you’re smart. I knew I liked you for a reason or two…
Brenda
Hee hee hee!
Larry
Subj: Re: Magnetic Lies comments—continued
Date: 1/18/00
You didn’t write of an oil company’s impact report. I want to remind you of why:
An oil company can’t be defeated. There’s no entity powerful enough to cause them to cease. A corporation can’t go to jail, though a corporation officer can. Their spin doctors will blur the truth if the truth is damning. The truths are generally mushy anyway. My sources say that there are spotted owls everywhere; they’re not even a distinct species.
There’s no story. Especially, there’s no short story.
The way to make a short story is to build boundaries around it. We are restricted by the reach of Kimber’s knowledge.
If we really dealt with humanity as an interstellar civilization with equals and superiors, we’d be planning a novel the size of the Known Space canon. I don’t want to. I’ve done that dance.
Whereas I have not danced the evolution of a terraform-capable civilization under restrictive rules. (I mean GENERATION GAP.)
LN
—grinning and enjoying the conversation. So remember email is a little one dimensional. Conversation hopefully makes us clear TOGETHER rather than each clear on our own with an intersecting set. We’ll confuse readers with the part outside the intersections. I can be talked around—your point works as well—this is just where I started.
BC
Yes! We’re overdue for a meet. These matters should have been thrashed out face to face. This is what worried me about writing a novel with Steven two states away. And we’d had practice.
Keep up the email dialogue. Things unsaid will otherwise foul us up.
Love, Larry
Subj: Re: Space Access 2000
Date: 1/17/00
I have a response from Eleanor Wood (my agent) on “Ice and Mirrors”.
Today is King’s Day. I’ll mail it tomorrow, and await a response.
My own responses—save these until you have the manuscript—
She’s right: I said Thray faces don’t signal as human faces do (because that’s the way to
bet.) So: Take out the adjective (“approvingly”).
The way you wrote the original story, someone had to be enforcing the rules. I took that as a given, and made something up. As we wanted a short story, I didn’t show them much.
You showed human culture not much changed. I took that as a given. Thus, First Contact must have been recent, and humans don’t have vast power. That plus the Thray’s crime implies: terraforming is generally forbidden, and humans won’t have done that.
Eleanor’s last question is reasonable: how have your readers reacted? If they don’t find any of this confusing or implausible…and if you haven’t been inspired to more rewriting…we’ll run with this.
love, Larry
Subj: Re: Got Eleanor’s Comments
Date: 1/22/00
In a message dated 1/22/00 12:57:48 AM Pacific Standard Time,
Thank you for sending along Eleanor’s comments. She’s good and talks straight—I like that.
BC
Yes. Finding a good agent is very difficult, largely luck.
LN
The ‘ordinary use of language’ hurt a bit—but it’s a good comment. I’ll read through the whole thing tomorrow and look for ordinary wordings—but I don’t want to get unclear to be clever. Challenge is good. I don’t think it has to sound entirely like you—our combined voice shouldn’t be your voice exactly or why collaborate? I want it to be as good a voice as yours alone is though.
BC
In every collaboration, we’ve learned a mutual voice. I don’t know any quick way.
LN
The bit on “looked approvingly” was a good catch—and an easy fix. Bravo Eleanor.
My take on the last paragraph “How could the pillbugs enforce rules…” is more complex:
I’ll read through and look for ways to deal with “nothing much seems changed from present day”—there should be some good answers to that one in minor technology changes. I don’t think much is changed in how the humans ARE, but maybe in their tools…and a few very small tweaks might fix that.
BC
Changes in technology cause changes in “how the humans are”. I’ve been trying, will keep trying, to teach you how to anticipate that. In OATH OF FEALTY (don’t bother to look it up) Jerry put in a coffee dispenser that makes one cup at a time, in the guardroom. I wrote, “It tasted wonderful. Even cliches change.”
You gave these students instant access to information, but they gather anyway to learn their grades. Good. A little more of that.
LN
Regarding Eleanor’s comments in the last paragraph, my initial thought is that not everything needs to be known—the mysterious is OK as long as the story itself is not mysterious. I’m with you, I don’t want a novel from this one, I want a finished success that readers love!
But confusion is not OK—so far the readers I’ve shared with have not said they are confused, nor have they seemed to be confused. I’m expecting the best feedback from Joe Green, and should have that fairly soon. He does not pull punches. I’ll check in with what he has to say, and then see how I feel, but gut feeling says we are OK. Have you had anyone else read it? If so, what did they say?
BC
I haven’t had anyone else read it. Yes, I think we’re okay: unanswered mysteries, but no confusion. I’ll look again on my last pass.
LN
It will probably be mid-week before I get all comments back, but I’ll push for them since I have a huge desire to see this done.
BC
[LINE MISSING] and “nothing seems much changed from present day” and fix the little “approvingly” glitch. Gather feedback and see if I think more needs to be done and if a clue as to what to do shows up in the feedback.
I’ll turn it around back to you as soon as I can and you can swing through it once again as well. Next week is grueling—I have a story due for class, a writers meeting, a writers dinner, class, a part day workshop with Molly Gloss that Joe arranged at the college, and a Council meeting so every night is busy—it might be next Friday night before I get a ‘final’ rewrite to you.
Does that sound about right to you?
BC
Yeah, nibble at it. No hurry. Let your brain work.
LN
Maybe I should re-read “Rogue” for ordinary use of language as well (she grins tiredly). Anyway—as always, open to suggestions. Boy, am I learning a lot!
BC
Okay, here’s my take on “Rogue”—
DC Comics published a global graphic novel called “Zero Hour”. They bought from me, through Eleanor, an hour of my time on the phone, to be broken up as needed. And they wanted my name.
For their price, I couldn’t give them my name. With my name on it, I would have had to do a lot more work and keep a lot more control. Comics people don’t have our education. In fact it would have been impossible, but even trying it would have eaten a week or two, not an hour.
My name doesn’t go on “Rogue Backup” unless it gets a lot better than I expect it to.
Working on your best story, not the most difficult, is probably the best use of your time. Pay no attention to me if you get inspired. Writing will polish your skills, even with Rogue, and you’ll hone your inspirations.
Example: “sat down, finally letting myself shake with the feelings…” Yeah, right. That involuntary shiver has to be written into her program. It would use all of her imaginary muscles: damn near as difficult as a sneeze.
Example: The Board has allowed the two women to merge: summation of their memories. Again, the mechanism isn’t automatic, each choice is made consciously. Why choose to leave two bodies and then erase one? What’s the point?
James (if permitted to witness) might see a momentary blur of static, then one Christa acting like a spastic while she tries to sort her memories.
LN
Take care and have a great day.
BC
Will try. Did I say my pool is finally in decent shape? It isn’t. The outfit that replastered the pool, and the spa too, allowed not-yet-dried cement into one of the spa pipes. It’s screwed up the entire piping system. I’m a swimmer, but I can’t swim.
That sounds trivial, and it is. Jerry and I had a dynamite hike-and-work session yesterday. Plotted the first third of BURNING TOWER. I’ll just call him and requisition his pool and spa.
You have a great day too.
Love, Larry
Subj: Re: “Ice and Mirrors”
Date: 2/23/00
In a message dated 2/23/00 7:17:50 AM Pacific Standard Time,
> Hey, I thought the Big Complaint in Southern California was dry wells, lack
> of water.
> Not now, eh?
> BC
“It never rains; it pours.”
I looked out at the rainstorm this morning and thought, “This looks bad.” Then, “No it doesn’t. My mental picture of the freeway looks bad. My memory of the Tarzana house, with no drainage and water creeping up the steps and covering the pool, looks bad. This looks like my new house, only wet.”
“Ice and Mirrors” went out yesterday, should reach you at noon.
Love, Larry
Smut Talk A Draco Tavern Story
I was delighted to hit Playboy magazine again. They’re a user-friendly market, and it had been thirty years since they published “Leviathan!”
They did something flattering and frustrating: they made me wait over a year so that they could get “Smut Talk” into the January 2000 issue, beginning the new millennium.
The Draco Tavern isn’t just a pub. It’s how humanity interacts with at least twenty-eight sapient species throughout the galaxy. Somewhere among these trillions of alien minds are the answers to all of the universal questions.
So it’s worth the expense, but costs are high. Keeping supplies in hand grows more difficult every time a new species appears. Siberian weather tears the Draco Tavern down as fast as we can rebuild it.
When a year passed without a chirpsithra ship, w
e were glad of the respite. The Tavern got some repairs. I got several months of vacation in Wyoming and Tahiti. Then that tremendous chirpsithra soap bubble drifted inward from near the Moon, and landers flowed down along the Earth’s magnetic lines to Mount Forel in Siberia.
For four days and nights the Draco Tavern was very busy.
On the fifth morning, way too early, one hundred and twenty-four individuals of ten species boarded the landers and were gone.
The next day Gail and Herman called in sick. I didn’t get in until midafternoon, alone on duty and fighting a dull headache.
We weren’t crowded. The security programs had let the few customers in and powered up various life support systems. The few who didn’t mind staying another year or two were all gathered around our biggest table. Eight individuals, five…make it four species including a woman.
I’d never seen her before. She was dressed in a short-skirted Italian or American business suit. Late twenties. Olive Arabic features. Nose like a blade, eyes like a hawk. I thought she was trying to look professionally severe. She was stunning.
The average citizen never reaches the Draco Tavern. To get here this woman must have been passed by her own government, then by the current UN psychiatric programs, Free Siberia, and several other political entities. She’d be some variety of biologist. It’s the most common credential.
Old habit pulled my eyes away. The way I was feeling, I wasn’t exactly on the make, and I didn’t need to wonder what a human would eat, drink, or breathe. Tee tee hatch nex ool, her chirpsithra life support code was the same as mine. My concern was with the aliens.
I recognized the contours of a lone Wahartht from news coverage. They’re hexapods with six greatly exaggerated hands, from a world that must be all winds. They’d gone up Kilimanjaro in competition with an Olympic climbing team. Travelers are supposed to be all male. This one had faced a high-backed chair around and was clinging to the back, looking quite comfortable. He was wearing a breather.
The three Folk had been living in the Kalahari, hunting with the natives. They looked lean and hungry. That was good. When they look like Cujo escaped from Belsen with his head on upside down, then they’re mean and ravenous and not good bar company.