Veiled

by Silvina Niccum

  I shook my head. I should have suspected this much; Alex and Russell were obsessed with getting a look at an actual training session. They could scarcely talk about anything else. And Dorian…well he was a prankster, so he would be part of anything that involved a laugh.

  I looked over the mesa once more; my initial feeling that we were not alone on that planet hadn’t faded yet. If what I was sensing were not my clan members, then who?

  I looked out and tried to visually find the source of my unease, but saw none. One thing I did know for sure: this planet was not being used by Cherubs.

  “What is it, Tess?” Alex whispered, he had crouched right next to me and had positioned his face so close to mine that if I had turned my face, we would have touched noses.

  “I’m not sure…” I told him without turning my face. As of late Alex started doing these kind of weird things, and I… let’s just say that something strange happened to me every time I got near him. My thoughts got fuzzy and I found it hard to remember what I was about to say. I could tell that our relationship was changing and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

  This time was no exception; I was so caught up with trying to not turn my head that I forgot was I was thinking. I tried to refocus my thoughts by shaking my head, but this seemed humorous to Alex and he made that half smile thing—when half his face smiles and the other half tries not to—but fails. It was usually charming, or so I thought…but right now it annoyed me, so I got mad.

  “What’s so funny?” I said without turning; because his face was still very close to mine.

  “You,” he said flatly while moving away just a little bit. “Disarmingly so.”

  I wrinkled my nose with a pretend sneer, but then that foreboding feeling came back even stronger now. There were spirits out there and they emitted a weird vibe—one that I didn’t like.

  “You’re really seeing something, aren’t you?” Alex looked back at the canyon, with a serious look on his face.

  “I can’t see them, it’s more like sensing,” I explained.

  “How does that work?” He turned and leaned casually back, tucking his arms behind his head, flashing another smile.

  “What? Sensing?” I said, finding it nearly impossible to focus.

  “Yeah, it sounds… interesting,” he said mockingly.

  I had no time for a friendly banter with Alex because an oppressive feeling of doom hit me in an almost physical way, one that I had never experienced before.

  It was strange I felt both lured and disgusted by it. The part of me that had common sense was screaming “Leave, Tess! Leave!” But I am curious by nature so that other part of me, the one that loved to explore and take off without warning, was eager to know who and what was emitting that vibe.

  Just then another wave of that same feeling hit me again, and this time I listened to common sense.

  “We need to get out!” I said while grabbing Alex by his robe and pulling him up.

  He looked puzzled, but didn’t question me. “Come on, she is sensing something. Let’s go!” Alex started pushing Dorian and Russell who were still laughing, or laughing about something else now. Celeste had a pouty look on her face, but quickly dropped it when she saw that we weren’t kidding.

  We flew away together as fast as our thoughts allowed us to fly, and even as we did so I was more certain than ever that someone was watching us go—and that someone was very displeased about it.

  * * * * *

  Chapter 2

  Russell skidded to a stop right outside the planet’s atmosphere and started laughing so loud that it sounded like thunder. Dorian and Alex stopped too, and Celeste and I could not help but join him. But the celebration of our near escape from who knows what was suddenly interrupted by the sound of several of our clan members. They were no doubt wondering where we were.

  The calling stones are handy, I have to admit to that, but they really annoy me too. They are crystals fastened to our clothing right at the chest, and one simply has to touch them and say the name of whomever you want to get in contact with, and they respond by doing the same thing on their end. To disconnect, you touch it one more time and the link is severed. What annoys me is the fact that you have no control over who calls you or when, and some spirits are very persistent. But I guess there is no other way to communicate long distance—not until we can all learn to communicate through the link like the Eternals do.

  Valerie was calling me. She was wondering where we were, and why we left so quickly. She sounded annoyed—not unusual for her—when I told her where we were. Then I heard Dane in the background telling us to stay put, and that they were on their way.

  Our clan was one of the smaller ones; we were only eight spirits, and we have been together since we were given form. The first things I remember seeing with my spiritual eyes were my clan members; and they are all I have in this existence.

  This is why I am so worried about the veiling. I want to live, I really do…but giving up my memories of them would be like giving up who I am. I guess that is at the root of the problem, I am lost without them—literally. The Veil that separates this existence from the next will erase all the knowledge I have accumulated for the past few millennia. Who would I be without it?

  In the distance we could see Henry approaching. He was holding some object that we had never seen before. He was messing with it and was distracted, then…he must have touched something because he disappeared and reappeared inches away from Alex.

  “What the…” Alex complained.

  Henry was beaming. “Aha! I knew it!” he said, holding the object up and waving it around. “It’s a transporter of sorts,” he added and started touching some more buttons.

  “Where did you get it from?” Celeste asked with wonder, and instinctively the rest of us got closer to get a better look.

  Henry shook his head solemnly. “No, no…I’ve been sworn to secrecy. But I will tell you this much, the spirit world that has these devices is on the other side of the universe!” Alex, Russell, and Dorian looked impressed, but I was a little annoyed.

  Henry was always disregarding the rules about spirit worlds. We weren’t supposed to go to other spirit worlds and interrupt their training for frivolous things like these. But Henry simply didn’t care; he loved every gadget in the universe and wanted to know how it worked.

  “This bad habit of stealing technology from other worlds will catch up to you some time,” I said sagely, but no one listened to me. They were all too excited about the device to pay me any attention.

  I could see Dane, Valerie, and Nancy flying toward us in the distance. They looked serious, like something bad had happened, so I flew ahead to catch up to them.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked before they could say anything. They looked at me strangely for a moment, and then Dane smiled a little. I hated that…I knew what he was thinking too, “Oh…how cute, her gift is developing. She can sense our moods.”

  I pursed up my lips and was just about to complain when Nancy said, “Well, this is it! It’s time for us to get serious.”

  “About what?” Russell asked.

  “If you had stayed after the council you would know!” she scolded and fixed her gaze on Russell.

  “What?” Russell asked looking around him for answers. “What did I do now?”

  Ignoring him completely, Valerie explained that after the council disbanded, a group of rebels took some undecided spirits prisoner.

  “What? How?” Alex inquired.

  “The rumor is that before the council they selected a few uninhabited planets, and they were planning to use those as either prisons or training grounds for the rebellion.” Dane responded with his usual calm. “Some rebels didn’t even show up to the council, they stayed behind to be ready when the prisoners came.”

  “But how are they keeping the spirits imprisoned?” Alex asked; his eyebrows were knitted together.

  “We heard that they have a means of torture that keeps spirits rooted.” She shoo
k her head. “But we are not entirely sure of all the details yet. That’s why there have been rallies organized where we will be instructed further,” Nancy said.

  “And that’s where we were headed when we found out half our clan was missing!” Valerie said, irritated.

  “We were worried,” Dane added. “We thought…”

  “That we had been taken?” Celeste finished.

  We stood in perfect silence for a long time, realizing for the first time how real this whole mess was. Then a wild thought crossed my mind. What could happen to us if we were tortured? Surely a spirit couldn’t die, or get hurt?

  “A spirit can’t die—can it?” I asked.

  The clan looked at me, but they stood silent. “Well…can it?” I insisted.

  Dane looked around at us, and when no one answered he continued, “Yes, a spirit can die.” He said in his most solemn voice.

  All eyes were on him now. “How do you know that? Valerie asked.

  “I’ve been studying this particular topic for some time. There have been instances when spirits have, in a way…died. They still exist—you can never cease to exist, and perhaps that’s the worst punishment—but it’s called Perdition. When spirits or mortals purposely and knowingly go against the Eternals, and deny what they know to be right and true…then they have to live out the rest of eternity in a state of perdition. You might remember that Michael made mention of a group of spirits who tried the Second One’s plan before and failed. Well…they are the ones that are in perdition now.”

  “But what does that mean? What is that condition?” Alex asked.

  “It means they will forever remain completely cut off from the Eternals and in essence they die. It is hard to explain what it’s like to be completely cut off…I’m still trying to understand it myself, but it basically condemns one to never evolving beyond a spirit like substance—and I hear that is brutal after you have had a body.

  “It also means that all the light, truth, and enjoyments are gone, along with all natural love and peace that we get pleasure from now. Imagine never laughing because you are happy, never feeling peace of mind, or being at rest. Never growing, never evolving, and never feeling loved or appreciated ever again. That is why I can’t understand it, nor could anyone unless they have experienced it.”

  “So they have spirit form?” I asked trying to wrap my mind around this new piece of information.

  “They are spirits, but not like us, their matter is darkness and they cannot move freely. The children of perdition, or cast-outs as they are commonly called, are condemned to dwell on a planet where they simply cannot get out.”

  “How can they not get out?” Henry asked with his customary interest—not in the cast-outs themselves—but the technology that might be at play.

  Dane explained patiently. “I’m not sure Henry. But what I did find out was that they simply can’t exist anywhere near the Eternals. They are just…cast-out, they can’t roam, they can’t explore, or grow in any way. They are forever bound. They are in Perdition.”

  “It sounds awful if you ask me. I can’t imagine what it would be like to not learn,” Celeste said.

  We stared at Dane for a while, still trying to assimilate what he had just told us.

  “But, Dane, that doesn’t apply to us now, to this…war. The rebels can’t kill our spirit, or cast us out, right?” Dorian asked.

  “They can’t cast us out, only the Eternals can. But they can convince us to give our wills to them. Once you do that, you are as good as cast-out and you have most assuredly lost your soul,” Dane answered.

  “So you are saying that if we vote for the Second One, they also get our wills, and this will cause us to lose our souls and die?” Valerie’s eyes were bulging out with shock.

  Dane nodded in response, his eyes looked sad and weary. “I only studied this out of curiosity, I had no idea that…” He shook his head and looked away.

  “…That we might be faced with a similar problem.” Nancy finished for him.

  There was not much to say after that; we stood there looking uncomfortable and worried for the first time. This was far worse than we imagined, far worse than any mortal war we’d ever seen. When mortals fight, they might lose their lives—just one part of their existence cut short, not the whole of it! In this war anyone who joined the rebellion and lost would lose it all; and those who didn’t join the rebellion, but lost the war, would most certainly have a torturous life to look forward to, under the Second One’s rule. There was only one way out of this mess, and that was to win!

  I looked down at my feet; all around me were similar looking bare feet that floated in the star speckled darkness of space.

  This was all I had ever known…I had no memories of my previous existence as an intelligence, and the best part of my existence—mortality—was before me. But if Dane was right, my own existence could come to an awful end before it even started.

  I thought about those cast-outs and what it would feel like to be dead like Dane said; when all of a sudden a terrible scream like feeling swelled in my chest. It expanded all through my frame and it felt like it would choke me….I had never experienced the need for air until just now. My head felt dizzy, my thoughts became erratic, and I heard voices screaming in my ears, unintelligible words. They were loud—too loud. I wanted to scream! I was not looking down anymore, I was looking at the concerned looking faces of my clan members—little black dots blurred my vision. Then…they too faded.

  “Tess, Tess?”

  “What is wrong with her?”

  “Tess…this is Dane, can you hear me? I know you are in there, come on…”

  “She always had a bit of a weak constitution.”

  “Oh stop it Henry! She does not!” Celeste exclaimed.

  I opened my eyes; I was in Alex’s arms. He looked down at me with a panicked look on his face.

  “What happened?” I asked, and then looked at Alex who was not releasing me. He stared at the expression on my face and realized that I wished to be put down. For one tense moment all eyes were on me.

  They looked at me as if I were an oddity. “What!” I said uncomfortably.

  “You fell.” Russell stated the obvious.

  Several of them nodded in agreement.

  “Impossible!” I protested.

  “You did,” Celeste assured me. “You looked funny at us, and then you just started falling. Alex dove for you and caught you, who knows where you would have ended up, if anywhere at all.”

  “Hey!” Dorian protested then smiled a cocky smile. “I helped too.”

  “Yeah…” Celeste said sarcastically,“It was team work.” Then she shot him a warning look.

  “Why don’t you tell us what happened to you? Your face…it looked…different. What were you thinking about?” Dane asked ignoring all the petty remarks.

  I shook my head, trying to clear it. Then it all started coming back to me. That feeling—I didn’t want to feel that again!

  “Tess?” Dane insisted.

  “I don’t know…I was thinking about those cast-outs and how it would feel to die spiritually, then…” I didn’t want to finish for fear of feeling that again.

  Dane’s face looked petrified, like his mind was thinking of something elusive that he wanted to understand. “Could it be?” He whispered, and then he shook his head dismissing it. “Is that all, Tess? Or is there something more?”

  “I felt something else, but I don’t want to remember it,” I said stubbornly.

  Alex stepped forward and placed himself between me and Dane, like a shield. “If she doesn’t want to remember, Dane, don’t make her. It was obviously not good,” he said sternly.

  Standing in the back, I could see Russell smirking.

  This, for some reason made me mad and gave me the courage to tell them what happened.

  “It’s OK, Alex.” I moved him aside; I didn’t need a bodyguard. “I felt like I was being choked,” I explained. “As if there was no air to breathe and I he
ard a scream; I felt it in my chest and in my head…or maybe both, I don’t know,” I said resolutely, even though I knew that what I had just said made no sense to anyone, me included. Complete silence from my clan reassured my initial thought.

  Finally it was Dane who broke the silence. “Have you ever had any manifestations of your gift before?”

  Everyone seemed to relax a little; if it was part of my gift what I had just experienced it would certainly be OK.

  “No, not really, none that I can tell anyway.”

  “I wonder if you actually felt what they feel.” Dane said thoughtfully. “You were curious to know what it would feel like…then…you felt it.”

  Some of my clan members were nodding, obviously agreeing with Dane’s theory. I, however, was not sold on it. Not just because I had never experienced anything like that before, but because it just seemed impossible to feel something so real from beings that were so far away and so unconnected with me.

  But this explanation seemed to satisfy everyone else, so I went along with it, and tried to forget all about it.

  There was nothing left to do now, but head over to the rally. On our way there we flew into two other clans that were also heading that way; Max’s clan that had about twenty spirits and Leo’s clan with about thirty spirits. We were good friends with these clans and often did things with them. I liked Max a lot, he was very nice, and always remembered every word you ever spoke to him. Leo had more of a dark sense of humor, and was always up to some trick.

  As the three groups converged, the excitement could not be restrained. This was supposed to be a serious time, instead this reunion seemed more like a celebration to me than a war rally, but…what did I know about war rallies?

  Now and then, someone from my clan would shoot a weary glance at me, probably worried that I might fall through space again, but looked away after I gave them my famous “leave me alone” look. Alex, however, didn’t seem afraid of “the look”, and kept checking on me to the point of exasperation.