RAIL ME, RIDE ME, RUIN ME: A Stepbrother Romance

by Tabatha Kiss

  He didn’t.

  He told me he was in love with me anyway. He begged for me to come home with him. I reciprocated in the only way I knew how and Kai Casablancas won his bet that night. Saying goodbye to him was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, although it had no right to be. I like to think that I have a very firm grip on my emotions. I’m constantly in complete control over my thoughts and feelings concerning all things. Except for Kai fucking Casablancas, apparently. Things got out of hand with Kai very quickly. I thought I’d have a chance to start fresh, but our goodbye left me devastated instead.

  When I saw him a few hours later, sitting next to my assigned seat on a train to London, waiting for me, I officially lost all control of my thoughts and feelings.

  A week in Europe. He and I spent one blissful week together, traveling from London to Dublin to Madrid. It was so easy to turn everything off, to lose myself completely in him and he did the same with me. But in the end, it was only a delay on the inevitable.

  Let’s just say all the passion in the world can’t make me and Kai Casablancas see eye-to-eye for very long.

  “Are you all right, Piper?”

  I snap away from my stare on the window. “Yeah,” I answer my mother. “I’m fine.”

  She stares at me from the aisle seat with a raised eyebrow. “You’ve barely said a word this entire flight,” she points out.

  “Sorry…” I mutter. “I’m just feeling a little nervous, that’s all.”

  “You and me both, kiddo.” She glances across my lap and looks down at the world. “It’s been a long time for me…”

  I nod. “Well, now I feel silly,” I chuckle. I’d almost forgotten that she’s been gone for nearly three years.

  “Don’t,” she says. “Human experience is a relative concept. You have as much right as I do to feel the jitters, as they’re technically called.”

  I smile. “I guess so.”

  “Maybe even more so,” she adds. “I’m not the one here to see my jilted ex-lover—”

  “Mom…”

  “I’m only teasing you, Piper.”

  “Well… tease someone else.”

  “Why would I do that? You’re my favorite tease.”

  I sigh and stare out the window. My stomach lurches as we descend even lower in altitude. Every foot closer we get to the ground brings me one step closer to Kai Casablancas. I’m tempted to turn around and travel all the way back to Europe, but I’ve already come this far. “He probably wants nothing to do with me anyway…” I say.

  “Well, you won’t know that until you he sees you,” she says. “Then… you’ll probably know immediately what he wants.”

  What Kai wants. I have no idea what that is anymore. Six months ago, it was very clear what he wanted. He wanted me. He wanted to stay in Europe with me. He wanted to love me and he wanted me to love him back.

  But I said no.

  The wheels hit the tarmac and I jolt in my seat. I take a deep breath and force it out as the plane slowly comes to a stop on the ground.

  What Kai wants. There’s only one thing that’s been constant in the entirety of our relationship — as friends, as step-siblings, even as lovers.

  Kai Casablancas and I might want the same thing, but we’ve never wanted it at the same time.

  Chapter 2

  Kai

  I grunt softly as my memories of her push me closer to the edge. She’s there every time I close my eyes, smiling at me, riding me. Her laughter echoes in my ears, along with her perfect moans of pleasure on the air.

  My fingers twitch. I squeeze my dick tighter and stroke faster to match the memory of her bouncing up and down in my head. I can still taste the sweat on her skin and smell the musky scent of the old English inn we stayed at. I see the color of the paint on the walls, the pattern on the bedspread, and that look on her face when she finally came all over my cock—

  I let out a final, quiet grunt and jizz into the open tissue in my left palm. Almost immediately, that familiar feeling of shame and disgust tickles at me.

  Kai Casablancas, the sexual god of Belle Academy. That’s me, baby.

  I fucked all twenty-three girls in my class, including my stepsister (and a teacher or two, but let’s not get into that mess). It was no easy feat. I traveled across the world to accomplish that task and all I brought back was a damn t-shirt.

  Look at me now…. reduced to a lonely college kid jerking into a napkin while my roommate visits his girlfriend down the hall.

  Thanks a lot, Piper Lynch.

  You’re damn right I blame Piper for this shit. I toss the tissue into the trash can by my bed. I’ve been inside over twenty women and the only one I can think about while wanking off is Piper fucking Lynch. The only one I can think about while talking to the myriad hot, ready, and willing girls living just a few doors down from me is Piper fucking Lynch. My greatest love and my worst enemy.

  I hope you’re happy, Pipes — wherever the fuck you are.

  My phone vibrates in my pocket. I heave a breath and reach for it to find a new text message from… my mother. Oh, goody. This is exactly who I want to hear from when I’m lying in my bed with my dick in my hand.

  Can’t wait to see you tomorrow!

  I tap back a quick reply. The stress and frustration I tried to get rid of by masturbating comes back with full force. Parent’s weekend. My mother and stepfather will be visiting to see me and take part in a whole slew of boring campus events. I had almost managed to forget about it. Almost.

  I shove my flaccid dick back inside my briefs and zip up my jeans. Seconds later, I hear the key in the lock and I check myself quickly to make sure I’m no longer exposed before the door swings open.

  My best friend, Shawn Monty, steps inside, followed closely by Mandy Black, his on-again-off-again sweetheart. We all went to high school together, but they didn’t officially hook-up until that fateful trip to Europe six months ago. She and I have always been pretty close, in just about every way imaginable. She’s also Piper’s best friend, but I try not to hold that against her.

  The grin on Shawn’s face quickly drops as he sees me lying on my bed in the corner. “Oh, come on, dude,” he scolds, staring down at me through the blond locks hanging down over his eyes.

  “I’m just doing a little reading,” I say. I hold up the book balanced on my knee, some boring tome of short stories I have to read for English class.

  He gives a subtle jerk motion with his wrist. “Yeah, sure.”

  Mandy shakes her head at him and rolls her eyes before looking at me with a pleasant face. “Hey, Kai,” she greets.

  “Hey, Mandy,” I say back. My eyes immediately fall back to the book. Where was I with this one? Some old lady named Emily in an old house… something about a rose…

  “Party tonight, off-campus,” Shawn announces to me. “You in?”

  “No, thanks,” I say. I catch him exchanging an annoyed glance with Mandy. “I don’t feel well,” I add, convincing no one in the room.

  “You feel well enough to drop a deposit off at the spank bank,” Shawn says. He steps around my desk and lightly kicks my trash can with his foot as he passes by.

  “Shawn, you really need to stop taking inventory of my trash can,” I tell him.

  “And you really need to get outside and live a little,” he says back.

  I glare at Mandy and she cracks a smile. “Shawn,” she begins, “if he doesn’t want to go, then he doesn’t have to go.”

  “Thank you,” I say.

  “But…” she continues, “I think he’d really be missing out on something special. The parties these guys have are supposed to be amazing and they only throw them like once a semester.”

  I sigh and toss the book down onto my bedside table. “And here we go…”

  “She’s right, man,” Shawn says. “It’s the start of our second semester at college and all you’ve done since you got here is learn shit.”

  I shake my head. “That’s what we’re supposed t
o be doing—”

  “I disagree.” He plops down on his own bed across the room and stares at his phone while Mandy lingers at the foot of mine with her arms crossed over her chest. “I never thought I’d see the day when I got laid more than you did, Kai. I’m worried about you. You’ve been a total killjoy ever since we came back from Europe.”

  I cringe as he mentions it.

  “Shawn…” Mandy says slowly. “That isn’t constructive.” She walks around the bed and sits down beside me. “Kai…” She keeps her voice low, too low for Shawn to hear her. “I think this will be good for you.”

  “I’m fine, Mandy,” I tell her, matching her volume.

  “And I agree with that,” she says. “But you have changed a little ever since…” Her words tapper off, but her eyes finish the thought silently.

  Since Piper broke your heart.

  I never told anyone about that week in Europe with Piper, not officially. Shawn still has no idea and mostly attributes my sulkiness to me “losing” that bet against him. Whatever. I’ll let him think that. It’d be better than telling him the truth and forcing myself to re-live it all over again in the process. But Mandy… she figured it out almost immediately and she never even had to ask Piper about it to confirm it.

  It was written all over my face when I got back. Mandy has been Piper’s most trusted friend for years and has no doubt been witness to plenty of poor men falling head over heels in love with her, only to be cast aside like old clothing. She knew that face — my face — better than anyone. She also knows that Piper sure as hell isn’t sitting around sulking about it like I am. Oh, no. Not Piper fucking Lynch. She’s probably had all sorts of fuck buddies since she tossed my ass out.

  “Come with us,” Mandy urges with a smile. “I promise you, it’ll be fun. Have I ever lied to you?”

  I smile back at her. “No,” I answer.

  “Exactly.” She shrugs her shoulders. “If it’s lame, we’ll leave and come back here with pizza and a bad movie. If it’s not… then you and whatever dame you bring back can have the room. Shawn will stay with me down the hall.”

  Shawn finally glances up from his phone. “What are you two being all hushy about?” he asks. “You’re not hooking up again, are you?”

  Mandy glances over her shoulder at him. “Yes, Shawn. That’s exactly right. Good job.” She turns back to me and drops the sarcasm. “So, what do you say?”

  I take a deep breath. As annoying as Shawn is, he’s not wrong. I know I’ve changed and I hate it, but that’s what happens when a death viper rips out one of your organs, gnaws on it with sharp teeth, and shoves it back into your chest cavity. You think maybe it’ll heal over and start to work correctly again, but no. It doesn’t. It just sits there, eternally bleeding and malfunctioning until one day, you find yourself in a dead heap on the floor— oh, my god. What the fuck am I thinking? Who the hell is this asshole? No wonder my friends can’t stand me anymore. I’ve become a fucking worthless piece of—

  Nope.

  A surge of confidence charges through my veins. Piper Lynch is gone. She and I are over. Done. Dead. Buried. I’m in the prime of my life. She isn’t worth the heartache she left me with. She isn’t even worth the wad of tissues filling my trash can right now.

  Fuck Piper Lynch and fuck this whole damn thing.

  “Okay,” I say, nodding my head. “I’ll go with you.”

  Mandy’s face splits with a big smile. “That’s the spirit, Kai!” She holds up her hand and I reach out for a quick high-five. “And like I said — if it sucks—”

  “It won’t,” I say. “No, this is gonna be a good night, Mandy.” She smiles at me again and nods in understanding. I lay a friendly peck on her cheek and push myself off the bed.

  “Where you going?” Shawn asks, his eyes peaking at me from behind his shaggy bangs.

  I reach for my gym bag in my closet and stuff my running shoes inside, along with an extra shirt and a pair of shorts. “I’m going to the rec center for a run,” I answer.

  “Sounds healthy,” Mandy notes, still smiling.

  I flash her a wink as I toss the bag over my shoulder. Adrenaline fires through me, pushing me towards a distant, but visible, finishing line. I’m a young, strong, and fiercely attractive male specimen. There’s no reason in the world why I can’t bounce back from this and come out a better man.

  Ladies, Kai Casablancas is back.

  I grab the doorknob and pull the door open.

  Or not.

  I stare at her and I can literally feel rock bottom slapping me in the face.

  Her hand floats suspended in the air, just seconds away from knocking. She slowly lowers it while I study her face. Deep blue eyes, staring directly into my soul. Skin white as cocaine. I can taste the cherry on her red lips already. Her raven black hair, which was once long enough to graze her belly button, is now trimmed short, sitting just above her chin. My heart comes to a dead stop.

  Piper fucking Lynch.

  “Hello, Kai,” she says. The ends of her lips twitch, teasing a smile just below the surface, but it never quite makes it out.

  I push the door closed and turn back around.

  “Or, you know…” I say to the room. I drop the gym bag to the floor. “We can just stay in and order a pizza.”

  Chapter 3

  Piper

  Well, my mother was right.

  Now that he’s seen my face, I know exactly what Kai wants. There’s only so many ways I can interpret a door being slammed in my face.

  I flinch as the door opens again.

  “Piper?!” Mandy squeals my name and throws her arms around me, her trademark giggle on the air around us. “Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh, my god!”

  I laugh with her and some of Kai’s sting wears off a bit. “Hey, Mandy,” I greet.

  She pulls away and feels the ends of my hair with her fingertips. “Oh, this hair is so cute!”

  “Thanks,” I laugh. “Felt like I needed a change.”

  “Come in—” She grips my wrist and pulls me into the room. “Shawn, look!” she shouts.

  Shawn glances up from his bed with a smirk. “What’s up, girl?”

  “Hi, Shawn,” I greet.

  Mandy shakes me in her arms. “Oh, my god! This is so exciting! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” she asks.

  My eyes drift to Kai across the room. He stands near a desk by the far wall, leaning back against it with his head down and his arms crossed about his chest. One thing is certain: He is not happy to see me. “I… thought a surprise would be more fun,” I answer. I watch him shake his head slightly, but he never raises his eyes.

  “How long are you staying?” she asks.

  “Umm… I’m not sure, actually.” I look to Kai again for a reaction, but he gives me nothing.

  “Did you just get in?”

  I nod. “Yeah, I came straight here.” Come on, Kai. Blink or something.

  Mandy releases my shoulders and steps into my line of sight, blocking him from view. “Oh, you’re probably starving then. That flight sucks.” She locks her eyes on mine. “How about we go get a late lunch and you can tell me all about what you’ve been up to…” Her subtle wink is far from subtle.

  “Okay,” I tell her. “Sounds good.”

  Kai pushes himself off the desk and makes wide strides towards the door. “I’m going to the gym,” he spits as he bends down and grabs a bag off the floor. He throws the door open and it closes fast behind him.

  “I probably deserved that…” I whisper at Mandy.

  She shrugs.

  “You showed up at the perfect time, Piper,” Shawn says as he bounces off his bed. “Big party tonight.”

  “Oh?” I ask.

  Mandy hooks her arm with mine. “I’ll tell you about it at the dining hall. Come on.” She turns back to Shawn. “No boys allowed, honey. Sorry,” she smiles at him.

  He holds up his hands. “No problem. I might actually catch up with Kai, do a few dead lifts or something…�
� He flexes his biceps in the air. They barely make dents in his shirt. Not at all like Kai’s still stunning physique.

  Mandy waves goodbye to him and pulls me out of the dorm room.

  ***

  “Oh, my god…” I chew on the greasy and delicious burger. The flavors spread across my tongue, igniting all of the taste buds I had long forgotten about. “Of all the things I thought I’d miss, I never once considered an American cheeseburger would be on that list…”

  Mandy chuckles at me from across the table and sucks on her straw to sip up the remaining soda hidden at the bottom among chunks of ice. The dining hall isn’t at all crowded, but I imagine more and more students will trickle in as evening draws closer. “And here I thought you came back here because you missed me…” she grins.

  “Among other things…” I fill my mouth with sugary soda to wash down the elixir of potent flavors.

  “Wanna talk about it?” she asks.

  “More than anything.”

  “Thank god.” She claps her palms together and gives them a rub. “I’m all ears…” she says.

  I lick my lips and wipe them clean with a paper napkin while I do a quick scan of the area for prying ears. “I think I really fucked up.”

  “How so?” Her eyes sparkle with amusement.

  “I thought a clean break from Kai would be the best thing for both of us. I followed my instincts and for the first time, I think they were wrong.”

  “Hmm…” She chews on her lip and taps her long nails across the table. “I’m gonna need a little more than that, honey…”

  I sigh, remembering that I never officially told her the whole story about what happened that week in Europe. “Kai and I hooked-up in France,” I say. “And England… and Ireland… and Spain.”