Calamity in America

by Pete Thorsen

  “No. It will be listed in the newspaper at some point usually, but I think I have something I can give you. Give me a minute to find it and make you a copy.”

  He left and went into a back room or office. I was all alone in the shop. I guess he trusted me. He returned a few minutes later with a paper.

  “Here are the dates and times. It is being held at this middle school. You can sign up the first night or you can now do it online too.”

  “I don’t do the whole computer thing. Thank you for this information.”

  “You are most welcome. By the way, my name is Jack.”

  He put out his hand and we shook.

  “I’m April, but I guess you already know that.”

  “Yes, my dad told me you stopped in on a day I had off. I knew your name from the pistol registration. You just kinda impressed me and I told my dad that I met you.”

  “He told me. But I can not say that I have ever impressed anyone before. I am just a poor nothing girl that is just trying to get by in a rather hostile world.”

  “You are most certainly not a ‘nothing’ girl, and you did impress me. And that is not an easy task.”

  “Well thanks for the information on these classes. I will hold my hunting questions until after I take these classes. I’m sure they will be answered there.”

  “You know, you are always welcome to come here and either I or my dad will help you any way we can.”

  “Do you do that for all your customers?”

  “Yes, we do. Good customers are hard to come by these days. And some customers we like better than others.”

  He actually winked ay me! No one had ever done that before and I’m not sure what to make of it. I just thanked him again and left the shop.

  I was able to get the few evenings off without a problem at work. My boss was surprised because I had never asked for any time off before. And these few evenings were not a problem because I would have only been scheduled for one or two of them anyway.

  I showed up early on the evening of the first class but when I walked into the room they were already set up and I signed up for the class. I saw that the class consisted of mainly kids of about early teen age. There were several adults about but I couldn’t tell if they were all parents or if they were taking the classes for themselves.

  At the start time a man stepped out in front and began talking about the classes. We would be split up so the class sizes would be small. He then said that all the instructors were volunteers. He waved his hand at several men and a lone woman standing against one wall. I noticed both Jack and his dad were amongst the volunteer instructors! No wonder Jack had the times and dates of the classes.

  I rather hoped that I would end up in class with Jack as the instructor. I don’t know why as I’m sure the other instructors were perfectly capable. After talking about the classes for a bit the man in charge read off names and we were all assigned to different classes. When I walked with my group to our assigned class room I was pleasantly surprised to see Jack and the woman (I learned her name was Patty) were to be our instructors. Each class had two instructors. There were two other adults in this class besides me. The rest were kids.

  We were given a workbook and other materials for the class and then the rest of the two hour class was taken up with lectures intermixed with questions and answers. At the end of the nightly class we were given a reading assignment in the work book.

  After class I walked over to where Jack and Patty were standing.

  “I should not be surprised that you and your dad are instructors. I’m glad I got in your class.”

  “I was kinda hoping you would be in my class. No special treatment though.”

  “I think I can pass OK. See you tomorrow night.”

  As I was walking away I think I heard Patty ask Jack if he and I were an ‘item’. I think I heard him say that I was just a customer of the shop. Somehow that made me kinda sad, but I’m not really sure why.

  The classes lasted two weeks but were not every night. There was a ‘field test’ on the last Saturday and then the following Monday night we all graduated. Jack was correct about there being a lot of information compressed into those few hours of classes. It was mostly about safe gun handling and hunting safety but also included many other things that would be useful while some was necessary for hunting.

  Jack was a good instructor. He often looked at me in class when he was in front lecturing, but he never singled me out in any way with questions or remarks. Like most of the others, I asked several questions, which he answered very well. He was funny some of the time I think, just to keep the attention of the kids in the class. But he also often mentioned the seriousness of the class itself.

  The classes made me really want to hunt after it was done. I went back to Jack’s shop to buy my hunting license. Again he smiled when I walked through the door.

  “I’m here to buy my first hunting license.”

  “What are you going to hunt?”

  “I want a small game license for now but I plan on getting a deer license later.”

  “Great. Let me have your driver’s license and I’ll write it up.”

  “OK, but don’t look at my weight.”

  “We post the names and the weights of everyone we sell a license to near the door later in the season.”

  We were both smiling now as he was filling out my license for me.

  “Do you have a place to hunt?”

  “I talked to one of my neighbors so far and he said I was welcome to hunt on his farm any time. Plus, there is a wildlife area just a short distance from my house.”

  “I do get a day off once in awhile. I would certainly like to hunt with you and maybe show you a few more things if you wanted.”

  “Do you make that offer to all your customers?”

  “No. Just you.”

  “I like you Jack, but I am not looking for a boyfriend.”

  “Can’t I just be a friend who you happen to hunt with?”

  “I could go with that.”

  “We are closed Sundays. Want to try something this Sunday?”

  “That would be great. I have Sunday off this week and that was when I was planning to go anyway.”

  “Grouse, squirrel, and rabbit season opens Saturday. Have you ever eaten any wild meat?”

  “No, this is all new to me.”

  “Your shotgun is not the best choice for grouse but it will work. Your twenty two would be perfect for squirrels and rabbits. So are we on for Sunday?”

  “Sure. I know I need help with the hunting stuff.”

  “Are you sure you can shoot an innocent bunny rabbit?”

  “Trust me, I can shoot a rabbit. Or anything else for that matter. Here, let me give you my phone number. I have to work the evening shift Saturday, so maybe not too early.”

  “We have to give the critters a chance to wake up anyway to make it sporting. How about nine, would that be OK? I can drive out and meet you at your place.”

  “Nine is fine.”

  “Wear sturdy clothes that aren’t new, and some sturdy shoes or boots.”

  “I’m sure I have something that will work.”

  I gave him directions to my place and paid for the license before I left the shop.

  I did want to go hunting and I knew very little about it. It only made sense to go with someone experienced the first time or two. Obviously that is my only reason to go hunting with Jack. After all what other reason could there be?

  Chapter 6

  I worked the week out and soon it was Sunday morning. Jack showed up right at nine in the morning. At least he was punctual. He had a common-looking four wheel drive pickup. It certainly looked more like something to take hunting than my old car did. I met him at the door.

  “Good morning. You ready? We can take my truck.”

  “Yes I’m ready. Should I just bring my twenty two rifle?”

  “Yes, that’s fine. I have plenty of junk in my truck so all you really need is your r
ifle and some shells for it.”

  I had my little rifle in a case next to the door with a box of shells in the case with it. I grabbed it, locked the doors, and followed Jack out to his truck.

  “I sometimes hunt out this direction so I know a few spots we can check out.”

  “Wherever you think is fine. Obviously I know nothing about it.”

  We drove for a few miles and stopped next to a woods. I noticed there was a corn field along one side of the woods. Jack explained that squirrels love corn and we would see many along that edge of the woods. He took out a shotgun with a rather short barrel and when we were both ready he told me to walk quietly and slowly while looking ahead both in the trees and on the ground.

  We had only walked a little ways when he stopped and pointed ahead of us. I saw nothing at first and he stepped very close and put his mouth next to my ear to whisper for me to look at the base of that crooked tree just ahead. Then I saw a squirrel with an ear of corn almost as big as it was. The squirrel was concentrating on the corn and not us. Jack whispered again.

  “Take your time and shoot him in the head.”

  It was an easy shot because I am pretty good with my twenty two. Jack seemed impressed when the squirrel dropped at my shot. We walked up to it and it was quite dead with the head shot I had made. Several other squirrels appeared with the shot, running this way and that. Some would be way up in the top branches of the trees and jump from one tree to another.

  “I’ll clean this one now. It will allow the rest to calm down so you can get a couple more.”

  He laid his shotgun down, got out a couple things, and then showed me how to skin the squirrel. When he was done he put the cleaned squirrel in a plastic bag, wiped his hands on a rag he had ready, and put everything in the game pouch on the back of his light hunting jacket.

  We walked through the woods and I shot three more squirrels. The last one I cleaned. Jack praised my skinning ability but I did not do near as good a job as him. We made a big loop through the woods and once a grouse took off right at our feet. It startled me, but not Jack. He was amazingly fast with his short shotgun and the grouse had barely flown a little ways when I heard the boom of his shotgun and the grouse fell to the ground.

  Again, he cleaned it on the spot. Cleaning the grouse was very easy and fast. When we got back to his truck he put the game into a cooler that had ice in it. He had come prepared I realized.

  We drove about a mile more and did the same thing again at another woods. This time I shot only two squirrels and Jack shot another grouse. I cleaned both of my squirrels this time. We drove again for a ways and when we stopped this time there was a woods but it looked like it was almost surrounded by swamp. This time when I started to get my rifle out Jack stopped me.

  “There might be more grouse here. I brought another shotgun for you to use if you want.”

  He took out another gun case and brought out a pretty shotgun. It looked kinda like mine at home but was smaller and, when he handed it to me, it was way lighter.

  “This is a twenty gauge so it is lighter and kicks less than your shotgun. It works the same as yours but the safety is behind the trigger instead of in front like yours.”

  He went over the gun with me and had me bring it up to my shoulder several times. Then he pointed out two distant trees, one on my right and one on my left. Then he got behind me and, with the empty gun, he had me snap it up to my shoulder and point at the base of one of those trees. Then he would just say right or left and had me bring the gun up and point at that tree and release the safety as quickly as I could. He did that several times and I could tell my speed was increasing and at the same time I was getting more comfortable with the gun.

  “OK. You ready to shoot some grouse?”

  “I’m ready to try.”

  He had me load the gun and we started walking along the edge of the woods. He had me walking in front.

  “Why am I in front?”

  “Because when a grouse takes off you can shoot it. You know how fast they are. And I am behind you because I am safe back here.”

  I could understand what he was talking about. He had mentioned it in class. Sometimes you had to shoot very fast when hunting and if you lacked experience you might shoot too fast—before you realized what was in your line of fire.

  I missed the first three grouse that took off. I never even got a shot off at the first, and the next two I shot at but missed. The fourth one I hit and it fell. It was still alive but Jack rang its neck when he picked it up. I cleaned my first grouse and I was rather proud of myself and Jack seemed to be impressed.

  “You caught on pretty quickly. Grouse are hard to hit. You did a very good job.”

  “Thank you. This shotgun is great. Way better than that heavy long one I have at home.”

  “I thought it would fit you good. And yes, it is a nice shotgun I think too.”

  We hunted for a while longer and stopped at one more spot. He always let me be in front so I got all the shooting. I did get two more grouse and missed three. On the way back toward my place he stopped at a café in a small town we came to.

  “I’m hungry. I’ll spot you some lunch.”

  “You don’t have to buy my meal. You’ve done so much for me already. I’ll buy your meal instead.”

  I expected him to argue and he surprised me when he did not and just let the matter drop.

  We went in and both washed up before we sat down. There were a couple other obvious hunters sitting inside already. We each ordered and ate a simple, inexpensive meal. It was pleasant with some talk and banter between us. When we got up to leave he just took the slip and paid the girl at the register.

  “I was going to pay!”

  “I’m sorry. Just habit I guess to take the slip up and pay. You can pay next time. I promise.”

  He seemed sincere, like he really did just forget that I was going to buy him lunch and it wasn’t a big deal anyway.

  On the rest of the way back to my place he seemed to be driving slowly.

  “Not in a hurry?”

  “No. I enjoy your company and I am in no hurry to drop you off.”

  He turned and looked at me. I didn’t know what to say so I said nothing.

  At my place we talked a little about how to cook the squirrels and grouse and then after I thanked him he said goodbye and drove away. I admit it was a very pleasant day. And I now had some meat besides.

  I fried one of the squirrels for supper and while it did taste good there was not all that much meat on the thing. Kinda like eating chicken wings, tastes good but not much to them.

  Over the next month Jack and I went hunting together two more times. Duck and goose season was open but I did not hunt them. I would have had to buy the duck stamps and different ammunition for my shotgun and some hip boots or waders. Just way too much money spent for too little gain.

  I did want to hunt deer and that season was fast approaching. Jack told me he would not have the time to hunt deer with me. Even though their gun shop was normally always closed on Sundays that changed the Sunday before deer season opened, and it remained that way all through the season. They were open every day during and just before the season. Jack said they had to make hay while the sun shined.

  So I was on my own for deer hunting. I expected no problem because I saw deer in the fields next to my house just about every day. Jack told me that would change abruptly when season opened, but the first day I would have a good chance. He explained to me how to attach the deer tag and how to field dress the deer.

  We talked about whether to take the deer in to be processed or do it myself to save money. Jack had a friend who processed deer at his home for people and suggested that for this first one maybe that was the best answer. This guy had no overhead and did the work well and charged little. So that was my plan for this first deer.

  It was rather anti-climactic on opening day of the deer season. I had the day off without even asking for it. I got up early and was out where I had see
n deer many times well before sunup. When it was light enough to shoot I saw several deer and shot the closest doe. Jack had talked me into buying cheap, long ‘gutting’ gloves and I’m glad he did. I field dressed the deer without any problems and was able to drag it the short distance back to my house without too much trouble.

  Getting the dead deer into the tarp-covered trunk of my car was an issue. But I had many lumber scraps around the place and I leaned a couple of the longest boards on the open trunk. I then dragged the dead deer as far up the boards as I could and, grabbing the ends of the boards, I had enough leverage to easily lift them up and the deer slid right into the trunk. As slick as could be.

  Then, after clean up and waiting for businesses to open, I drove and had the dead deer registered as required by the state, and then it was on to Jack’s friend’s house where I dropped the deer off for processing.

  I also called Jack at the shop and bragged about getting my deer before he even got up for the day. Several days later, on the way home from work, I stopped and picked up the wrapped meat from my deer and paid the man for doing the work. I have a very small freezer besides the one built into the refrigerator and I had no problem getting all the meat to fit. I now had a good supply of meat and would likely still shoot a few more squirrels and grouse. If you have never had any grouse I can tell you that grouse meat is excellent. All white meat, and it is absolutely delicious.

  Chapter 7

  While hunting was going good for me, everything else was not going roses for myself and everyone else. My hours, along with everyone else’s at Walmart, were cut again. And like Walmart so the world, so to speak. Over the last couple years many businesses had closed and none of them ever reopened. Now even more were closing or cutting the hours they were open. It was not just retail businesses either. It seemed like every business was feeling the crunch.

  Businesses were not the only ones. More people were getting laid off or having their hours cut back at manufacturing places, delivery places, semi truck drivers—every place where people worked. Food pantries were begging for donations of food or money because of the increased demand from the people who had no jobs.