Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree: A Red Velvet Christmas Novel

by K E Osborn

  Gnawing on my bottom lip as it trembles, I nod slightly knowing he’s right even though I hate it. He would definitely give into me and stay with me until I fell asleep, and he’s fallen asleep with me twice so it could happen again. I can completely understand where he’s coming from.

  Me: I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand Brax. But just promise me you’ll get better and come back to me?

  I hit send and my heart starts to race in my chest hoping he wants this as much as I do. I know he has a lot to sort out, but all I want is him and I hope, in the end, all he wants is me.

  Brax: I’m so sorry for everything, Amber. I’m going to make it up to you. I promise. xo

  My lips turn up in a small smile because I know Brax, he’s a man of his word and if he says he’s going to do something then he’s going to try is damndest to do it.

  Me: As long as you get better Brax, that’s all I need :)

  Brax: I’m going to get better for you, Amber. I thought I could manage this on my own until you came along, now I have someone to fight this for. I will win this war, for you. How did the concert go?

  I exhale thinking of the start of the concert and the debacle of my mood swing. Then the high of the actual performance. I swear the night gave whiplash to my already sore neck.

  Me: After the initial shock of a chick going bananas at me over Aston, I performed my heart out and put all of my emotion into performing. I wish you could have been there to help me with the crazy…

  I hit send and then instantly regret it. I tense up knowing that last sentence will make him feel bad. Wondering if I should type something to excuse that last sentence, a reply comes in.

  Brax: I wish I could have been there too, but I need to get help and I can’t do that on tour. I am sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ve let you down in so many ways. I feel terrible.

  Wincing and thumping my hand on the seat next to me at my stupidity, I didn’t mean to make him feel bad, that wasn’t my intention. “Idiot!” I murmur to myself as I shake my head and quickly type back a reply.

  Me: Please stop apologising. I’m the one who should apologise, I’m sorry for making you feel bad. I didn’t mean to do that. Please stop beating yourself up about this. I forgive you. I’m not angry or upset. I just want you to get better. I miss you and I need you to be okay.

  Hitting send, I internally berate myself for making Brax feel like shit. I can’t believe I did that. I’m a horrible person. I swallow the lump in my throat and wait impatiently for his reply text. I jump slightly when the vibration of the phone reverberates through my palm.

  Brax: I’m just glad you’re talking to me. I thought I had lost you for good…

  I furrow my brows and shake my head adamantly.

  Me: No, no way. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready. xo

  I hit send meaning every word. I place my feet back down to the floor as the bus sways from side to side with the motion of movement.

  Brax: Thank you. It means so much to me. I’m glad your night was okay. Sleep well, I have to do some yoga before bed. So I’ll talk to you tomorrow?

  Bursting out laughing my eyes open wide looking at one word in particular. Yoga. Brax is doing yoga? My chest flutters with a giddy sense of excitement as I reply to him.

  Me: You’re kidding, right? A strapping burly man like you doing yoga?

  I hit send and giggle to myself wondering why he’s joking around about this.

  Brax: I wish I were kidding! Unfortunately they say it’s supposed to help, and at this point to get you back, I’m willing to try anything.

  My eyes open wide as my heart kicks into gear harder. I bite my bottom lip and furrow my eyebrows. Wow, I feel bad again for thinking he was kidding. He’s really trying for me. This guy is amazing.

  Me: Wow. But let’s get one thing straight–you never lost me. I’m yours Brax, as soon as you’re ready. xoxo

  I hit send hoping to make him feel better with my honesty. I hope he knows that I truly care for him and I want us to work.

  Brax: That means so much to me. I can’t wait! Good night beautiful, sleep well. xo

  Smiling, I inhale a deep breath and then sigh, telling him to sleep well would seem like a cruel joke, so I opt for the next best thing.

  Me: Good night Brax. I’ll be dreaming of you. xoxo

  Brax: Give Charli a cuddle from me. Until tomorrow. xo

  The bus pulls up to a sudden stop and I lurch forward with the sudden breaking. My hands reach out for the seat in front of me stopping my head from smacking into it, as the door swings open with a whoosh.

  “Please disembark,” Hunter calls out making the other guys laugh.

  Placing my phone back in my bag now that I can hold myself still, I stand and start walking toward the exit. Mason quickly catches up and wraps his arm around my waist. I tense up having his hands on me, but it feels more friendly than sexual this time.

  “Hey, are you okay?”

  Looking up into his bright blue eyes, I smile and nod. “Yeah, I’m doing much better now thanks.”

  “You need any company tonight?”

  My eyes widen slightly at his tone, it’s suggestive and I think he means as something more than friends.

  “Umm, no thanks, I’m fine.”

  His smile falls and his eyes droop and his chest starts to rise and fall faster like he’s disappointed. The walk into the hotel is now filled with awkward tension as neither of us says anything and both our shoulders are tense. He’s looking down at the ground miserable like I’ve just killed his puppy.

  Looking away from him, I walk into the elevator as Cooper and Jayce talk about one of the fan girls from tonight’s gig and how they could easily have banged her in the toilet stalls if they had wanted to. I roll my eyes at them and look over at Mase, who’s shuffling one foot back and forth on the ground like children do when they’re upset or being told off by their parents. I feel sorry for him, but I can’t let him think because Brax is gone he’s in with a chance now. Because he certainly isn’t. The elevator drops slightly and I reach out to the railing to grab it for support, but end up putting my hand on Mase’s. He looks at me and smiles, so I quickly pull it away as a ding sounds and the doors slide open. Quickly scurrying out of the elevator, I walk toward my room. I turn back to make sure Mase isn’t following me. He’s walking down the hall toward his room, and I breathe an instant sigh of relief.

  Opening my door, I walk into the blurred hum of the television and to the slight snore of Clara. I giggle to myself as I close the door softly and walk down the small hall toward the bedroom. The sound of my footsteps must alert Clara that I’m back as she snorts loudly.

  “What? Huh? Who’s there?” she calls out making me chuckle as I walk in placing my handbag on the bed.

  “It’s just me.” She sits up dramatically and turns to face me wiping some excess drool from her chin.

  “Oh dear, I must have dozed off. I’m beat, darling. Do you mind if I head off for the night?” Standing she walks over to me and I take her into an embrace.

  “No, of course not. Thank you for watching Charli.”

  “As always is my pleasure. Good night.”

  Letting her go, I watch as she waddles out of the room looking like her back’s a bit stiff. I might have to invest in getting her a massage. When the door softly closes, I turn and walk into Charli’s room to check on her. I missed her tonight and I just need to look at her. I peer down at her sleeping face. Her eyes closed tightly as one arm is bent up by her face and the other cuddling into her lady bug. She looks so peaceful and I hope I can sleep as soundly as she looks right now. I lean in and caress her head softly. She feels like silk against my palm, and there’s no greater feeling in the world than my baby’s skin.

  “Good night, lady bug. Mummy loves you.” Taking one last look at my sleeping angel, I memorize her face and walk out of her room and into my bedroom. I take off the scarf that I’ve been wearing all day and breathe a
sigh of relief as the fresh air hits the sore and aching skin.

  The feeling of clean pyjamas is the best feeling in the world, as I pull them on and climb into bed. My thoughts are all about Brax and how he’s coping tonight.

  Will his dreams haunt him? Will he haunt mine? Will we get our dream ending together?

  Only time will tell…

  Eddy, my new bodyguard, is a far cry from the hunk of a man that is Brax. Eddy is five-foot-four, so short for a man. He’s stocky, not fat, but very heavy set and his age is a constant joke between Jayce and me. Jayce guesses between forty-five to fifty-years-old. I think he’s a harsh critic. I think Eddy’s more like forty to forty-five, maybe.

  Either way, there’s no chance of a romance blossoming between us. He does his job well. His muscles have muscles, and he has this look about him that if you were to take one wrong step he’d snap your neck. The constant scowl is a dead giveaway that he’s a tough man inside and out. I think in the past two months that I’ve been on tour with him while Brax has been off in recovery, Eddy’s said maybe five words to me. Literally, five words.

  But I do feel safe with him, and even though I miss Brax terribly, Eddy has been keeping me well protected from the chaos around me. The tour is running smoothly and Hunter is really pleased with our progress. He even said that there’s been some chatter in the industry about Red Velvet. Our name is getting out there again, and hopefully soon, we’ll be making it bigger and better than just your average pub gigs. I’d love nothing more than to be playing to a packed out stadium.

  Missing Brax has been hard. I talk to him every day and check in on his progress. Apparently, he’s doing well and his night terrors are becoming less and less. He’s been in the hospital a few times—to perform sleep studies to watch what happens—so they can find better treatments. He says the yoga before bed is helping him sleep, and he feels more rested which is always a good thing. His therapy is going well, although he says it’s tough going over all the things he went through in the Army. He hates rehashing over it all, but the doctors say talking about it will gain results. And that mixed with the cognitive behavioral therapy and medication, well, things seem to be working for him. I’m so happy he’s getting the help he needs.

  But while he’s been gone I’ve needed comfort. I miss Brax so much I just need to have a cuddle every now and then to tide me over. So I’ve been turning to Mason. I know it’s bad, but I go to him when I’m missing the warmth of Brax. Generally, after I text Brax I go to Mase to feel the connection I need to feel with Brax. It’s just hugging, and Mason doesn’t know that’s why I’m seeking comfort from him. I feel bad for using him that way, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

  It’s the beginning of November, the stifling chill of the coming winter is in the air and I can’t help but let my mind wander to next month.

  December.

  To December 25th to be exact.

  Christmas Day.

  The day my mother died.

  The day my anxiety started, and the day my world starting falling apart. It completely fell apart when Aston left me. Then when I found out I was pregnant with Charli, life began to have meaning. But finding Brax that was when the world started to make sense again.

  Now that Christmas is looming, my body is riddled with tension and I know Hunter is feeling the impending anniversary too. He’s moody and quieter than normal, and with the passing of our mother on both our minds, the constant reminder of Christmas everywhere with tinsel and baubles ordaining every lamp post on every corner, is just making us both on edge. You’d think after five years it would get easier.

  Nope!

  Every year it still hurts.

  I wish I could do the right thing for Charli and make Christmas special for her, but I just can’t bring myself to enjoy the day that took my mother from me.

  Sitting in my hotel room moping isn’t doing me any good. I miss Brax and we didn’t have a concert tonight, so the guys went off to have dinner. I’ve decided to stay in and read on my Kindle and spend the night with Charli, who’s now in bed while I sit here and contemplate what Brax might be doing right now. So I decide to message him. It’s only 11:30 p.m. Hopefully, he’s still awake. Leaning over my muscles stretch as I reach for my phone on the bedside table. I unplug it from the charger and type out a simple text message to Brax. I figure that way if he’s asleep, it won’t wake him like a phone call will.

  Me: So I’m sitting in my hotel room all alone and I can’t stop thinking of you. The other thing I can’t stop thinking about is Christmas and how it’s coming up soon. I wish this pain in my chest would stop…

  I sniff back as I exhale thinking about Mum again, and I shake my head willing myself not to cry. I’m too strong for that now. I lay back on the bed, the harder than normal mattress making my back crack as I shuffle down. My phone vibrates in my hand and I bring it up to my face to see the message reply from Brax.

  Brax: I was just thinking of you, too. I’m lying in bed wishing you were with me. As for Christmas, I know it’s a hard time for you and I can only image what it must be like, but maybe this year you should get out of the house and spend Christmas with people? Don’t spend it alone and wallowing, be around others and let them take care of you and support you, maybe distract you? It would be good for Charli too. Just an idea…

  I gnaw on my bottom lip and nod. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all. Being around people would be a good distraction. I just have to figure out who.

  Me: That’s a good idea, I’ll have to think of someone to hang out with. Not sure who’ll be available. I’m not sure someone will babysit me on such an important day :)

  I smile trying to rack my brain of who I could possibly spend Christmas with. I would spend it with Brax, but he’s going to Aberdeen to be with his family and I don’t want to intrude on his families time together. I could go with Mason and spend time with him and his family, but that’s not a good idea—they aren’t the nicest of people. They’re not exactly law-abiding citizens, and I honestly don’t want Charli around them. Mason’s dad is high up in the underworld activities in England and is basically a mob lord. His mother follows and does whatever she’s told, and Mason is the outcast because he chose to be a rock star instead of following in his father’s footsteps and taking on the family name. Mason still talks to his family, but I know their relationship is strained. Mase’s parents have met Charli twice, and they have a hatred for me that runs deep because I was the reason he joined the band and left home in the first place. If it weren't for me, Mason would be a messenger boy for the English mafia and living an entirely different lifestyle to the one he is now. And to be honest, I don’t think he would be cut out for that life anyway. He’s a big squishy teddy bear underneath all the tattoos and cocky behaviour.

  Brax: I’m sure someone will fill in the position. How’s your day been? You didn’t have a gig tonight did you?

  I smile reading the text, and as I go to reply my phone rings startling me. Jumping slightly on the bed, I swipe the screen to answer the call from Hunter.

  “Hunt? Are you okay?” I ask wondering why he’s calling so late at night.

  “Amber, you have to wake Clara and get her to watch Charli. I need you to come down here!” His voice is gruff and his tone clipped like he’s majorly pissed off.

  Furrowing my brows, I sit up on the bed wondering what the hell he’s on about. “Come down where? Where are you?”

  He exhales and pauses briefly. “The Cardiff Police Station—”

  My eyes bulge out of my head. “What? Why?” My heart begins to race as I stand from the bed abruptly and start to pace the floor. My feet like lead weights pounding the carpet.

  “Mason, Jayce, and Cooper have all been arrested. I got called to come down and sort them out.”

  “Arrested for what Hunter?” My voice is low and raspy as I try not to panic.

  “Just come down now, and I’ll fill you in when you get here.” He hangs up the phone without saying another wor
d. My heart is racing faster than a freight train through my chest and my head is throbbing with each pound of my heart.

  “Fucking hell!” I shake my head and dial Clara’s number.

  My ankles hurt from the force of my weighted steps that are pounding furiously on the pavement. I slam the Cardiff police door open and storm inside looking for my bandmates. I swear if steam could vent from my ears and nostrils, it would be by now. Hunter walks out from behind a partition and I open my eyes wide and walk over to him.

  “Hunter!” I call out obscenely loud, gaining the entire office’s attention.

  His head swings up and he looks in my direction, his shoulders slumping when he registers and he walks toward me. “Amber, these guys will be the death of me,” he admits and I throw my hands in the air in frustration.

  “What the fuck is going on?”

  He runs his hand through his short brown hair and shakes his head. “The guys had a massive party, the cops were called and they arrested them…There were drugs on the premises, Amber.”

  “What!” My eyes practically fall out of their sockets as my blood pressure spikes. My fists close into tight balls, so tight my nails dig into my palms.

  “Mr. Montgomery, the three men have been let off with a warning. The amount of drugs found on them wasn’t enough to charge or hold them, so they’ll be out shortly,” an officer says from behind the desk.