“So, you love me because I look like my mother.”
“Yes, and no. I did love you because you reminded me of her, but you’re so very different than she. There’s a charming stubbornness about you I couldn’t resist. I decided you would bring joy into my life, and so I offered for your hand in marriage. Your parents didn’t like the idea at first, and it took them awhile to decide, but soon they agreed that it was time for our families to be joined.”
Catherine stood and walked around the bed slowly. “Grant? Do you know when you first kissed me when I was fourteen, that I felt unclean? Do you know I get sick every time you want to hug me or even kiss my cheek?” She stopped and looked at him.
A scowl creased his forehead. “Why are you telling me this?”
Mary rushed to his side to check on him, and he pushed her away with his hand, aiming his glare toward Catherine. The older woman even threw accusing glares Catherine’s way. She really wished the nurse would just leave.
“Because maybe our relationship isn’t right,” Catherine said softly. “You wanted my mother, not me, and I think of that all the time.”
“But we’ll soon be publicly engaged.” His voice turned harsh.
Tears filled her eyes. “I know this but maybe it would make things better for me if you would stop thinking of my mother. Would it be fair if I imagined another man while I’m with you?”
Grant looked away, his lips pursed.
She prayed he would call off the betrothal. “Grant?”
He finally met her stare.
“My father is here visiting for a while.” The anger lines in his face disappeared, and he straightened. She continued, “And when you are feeling better, I think the two of you should talk about my mother and the feelings you had...and still have for her. Until then, I’m not coming back into this room. Do you think that’s fair?”
He nodded, but didn’t speak.
Slowly, she walked toward the door. Once again, Mary was by his side, stroking his arm and whispering something to Grant in hushed tones. Catherine didn’t care and left the room, confusion filling her head just as much as it had done before. Hopefully, she did the right thing. Was she really trying to make their relationship better or worse?
* * * *
Nick tried to stay away from the house, finding things to do with his business, but his mind wouldn’t focus. The longer he was away from Catherine, the more he wanted to see her. He already knew he couldn’t go a full day without having to see her or to touch her hand, her back, or cheek. Colonel Martin watched him with hawk-eyes, and Nick didn’t want the man knowing how he truly felt about Catherine.
That evening, Nick strode into the drawing room where everyone milled about, awaiting supper. Catherine sat at the pianoforte and played while the men stood near the wall chatting. Nick couldn’t join in their conversation, mainly because he was mesmerized by Catherine's beautiful music. Although Gregg participated in the conversation, he stood closer to Catherine, remarking on her playing from time to time. Ian and Colonel Martin stood against the wall discussing the crisscrossed twin swords mounted on the wall.
Just as Catherine’s playing came to an end, Nick pulled himself out of the trance, and clapped. The others joined. Colonel Martin grinned as he stepped away from Ian, but then a loud crack rented the air. Within seconds the swords fell from the wall, a breath away from crushing Ian’s head. Nick and Gregg rushed to Ian’s side as he stood shaken.
“What just happened?” Ian’s unsettled voice lifted as he glanced from the wall to the floor where the swords lay.
Gregg bent to retrieve the swords while Nick studied the wall. “It looks to me like the nails were rusty,” Nick answered.
Ian scrubbed his chin. “That doesn’t make any sense. They have hung here for years and never fallen.”
As Nick examined the nails closer his conclusion changed. “Well...I hope I’m wrong, but the nails almost appear as if they’ve been tampered with.” He moved his gaze to his brother whose forehead creased in confusion. Colonel Martin swung his glare to Catherine who sat on the bench, her face pale as fear sparked her eyes.
Nick scowled, wanting to shake the insipid man. Why did the colonel act in such a manner? Did he expect Catherine to rush to Ian’s side to assist also?
“Is everyone ready for supper?” Aunt Gertrude walked in the room, her gaze sweeping over each one. When her focus fell on Gregg holding the swords, she huffed and marched to him. “What are you doing, young man? Do you know how priceless these are? They belonged to your great grandfather. We don’t want them damaged.”
“Yes, Aunt Gertie,” Gregg muttered.
“I shall ask Miles to fix them back to the wall while we eat.”
“If you don’t mind, Miss Gertrude,” the colonel said, “my man Hodgson is very talented with the hammer. I’m certain he would hang these swords for you.”
The older woman beamed. “That would be lovely, thank you.”
Nick held his arm out for Catherine. As she slipped her hand around his elbow she smiled, looking more relaxed than she had a moment ago.
They all gathered around the table without any further talk of the swords. Immediately, the conversation moved to horseback riding; his brothers’ favorite pastime lately besides drinking and gambling. Probably because Catherine joined them.
Gregg’s gaze wandered to Catherine quite a bit, and Nick recognized that look. Apparently, his brother was infatuated, too. Jealousy twisted Nick’s gut and he tightened his hand around the linen napkin on his lap.
Ian, on the other hand, had a different expression when he glanced at her. His brother’s narrowed eyes spoke of an entirely different emotion. Anger? Suspicion, perhaps? Ian had always been more difficult to figure out.
Finally Ian cleared his throat, aiming his gaze at Catherine. He wiped his mouth with the napkin before speaking. “Speaking of riding...”
All eyes turned his way.
“Remember the other morning when Gregg’s saddle had been cut?”
Catherine’s eyes widened. Her drink had been to her lips, but she placed it back on the table without taking a sip. “Indeed. Did you ever find out who had tampered with it?”
“Not yet, but as we were asking the servants, one of the stable-hands remembered seeing you in the stable that morning.” He arched an eyebrow, his lips thinning. “Were you?”
“Earlier, yes.”
“Really?” Gregg set his fork down and leaned forward, keeping his eyes on her. “What were you doing there?”
She shrugged. “I usually go to the stables every morning whether I ride or not.”
“Why?” Ian shot back.
Nick growled. “Ian, what does it matter? There’s no need to treat poor Catherine in this rude manner.”
Pink tinted her cheeks and she lowered her gaze to her plate. “It’s all right, Nick. I shall answer. I go to the stable because it’s always been a place where I can release my anger or frustration...and nobody can hear or see me.”
Her father choked on his drink, but quickly recovered. “How so, my dear?”
She raised her eyes and glared at the colonel. “Because I can talk to the horses and they won’t talk back,” she bit out.
Gregg chuckled then covered his mouth with his hand.
Just then, a stooped figure entered the room, taking slow steps. “What’s this about talking back?”
Nick gasped. “Uncle Grant? Why are you out of your room?” He stood and rushed to his uncle’s side, as did Catherine.
Grant chuckled. “Please don’t fret. I’m feeling much better. The doctor told me I could come down for dinner tonight.” His gaze swept around the table until it rested on Catherine’s father. Grant squinted. “Besides, I heard we have a visitor.”
Colonel Martin smiled and stood. “Grant, it’s so good to see you again.” He walked around the table to him and shook his hand.
“It does my eyes good to see you again, Henry.”
“I thought it was time to come
see how my daughter is faring.”
Grant grinned. “Don’ you believe I’m seeing to her welfare?”
“Of course I think you’re taking care of her, but I needed to see for myself.”
“Nonetheless, I’m thrilled you’re here. Come, let’s sit and enjoy our evening meal.”
Nick led the duke to the end of the table where Henry Martin sat beside him, before moving to take his rightful place at the other end. Catherine had scooted closer to Nick. He glanced at her and grinned. His brothers were further up the table by the other two men. Aunt Gertrude sat across the table from Catherine, but concentrated on Henry and Grant.
The conversation mainly consisted of the two old friends as they caught up on each other’s lives. Gregg and Ian seemed to be interested in the older couple’s stories, but Nick wasn’t...and it seemed Catherine wasn’t either. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the breathtaking woman next to him – not that it was anything out of the ordinary for him. Tonight she had a special glow. Her deep, blue silk dress made her amazing eyes twinkle. Her hair was up in a loose bun with a few tendrils hanging around her ears and neck.
It was a good thing Mrs. Berkley had a headache and stayed in her room or he’d not be able to look upon Catherine as he liked since the old bat watched Catherine closely.
He wanted to be closer, although knew he would draw attention to himself if he did. Her gaze met his quite a bit during the meal, even though she tried not to act as if she did her own inspecting of his person.
He waited for the next time she looked his way, then he smiled. Their gazes held. A soft glow lit her eyes, and when she looked over every inch of his face, excitement made his heart race. He’d always loved the way she made him feel, as if he were the most perfect man in the world.
* * * *
Catherine had long since given up on her meal and concentrated fully on Nick. Against her will – and better judgment – she’d fallen madly and hopelessly in love with him. No other man would do. Since realizing her love for this man, she’d prayed fervently to God to allow her to be with Nick and not Grant. She longed for a happy life...a happy marriage, and loving her husband. Nick would be the only one to fulfill her dreams. Not Grant.
A movement from the other end of the table drew her attention. Nick straightened and moved his attention from her to his uncle. She followed suit, wishing she could gaze at Nick forever.
Grant cleared his throat. “I think we can adjourn to the drawing room now.”
Grant and her father rose from the table, along with Gregg and Ian. She pushed away and stood the same time Gertrude did. Nick nearly jumped out of his chair to help her, and she smiled. Truly, he was the perfect man for her.
He held out his arm for her to take, and she slipped her fingers around the crook of his elbow as they walked with the others toward the drawing room. She enjoyed this closeness too much, and worried her father would notice how she acted. For certain, the expression on her face was probably one of pleasure since that was the emotion blossoming inside her right now.
Everyone sat on a couch or chair, but Gregg and Ian moved to the card table to play draughts. Nick sat beside her as they listened to Grant and her father talk and laugh about their childhood memories. It surprised her to see Mary hanging near Grant, fluffing a pillow to place in back of him, or pouring him a cup of tea. Strange, because weren’t servants supposed to do this?
Relaxing in a heavily cushioned loveseat, she pretended to take interest in her father’s stories, although the only thing on her mind was Nick’s presence beside her. She wanted so much to be with him – to marry him. Then again, he hadn’t asked. A strong feeling came over her, encouraging her to talk to Grant and tell him of her feelings for his nephew. Grant was a wise man, he would understand she wanted to be with someone younger. Yet would he understand? Or would the news kill him. Literally.
It didn’t take long for Gertrude’s head to tilt against the wall and her eyes to close. Poor woman. It seemed nothing could keep her awake after she’d filled her belly. Then again, her old age kept her napping most of the day, anyway.
“Catherine, my sweet?” Nick asked in a low voice.
She looked his way and smiled. “Yes?”
“Would you like to join me in a game of chess?”
“It would be my pleasure.”
He stood and held out his hand for her to take. She did, and was led to the chess table. Her father kept his eyes on them, so she made certain she acted properly.
Nick set up the game pieces, his gaze switching back and forth between the board and her. The rhythm of her heart picked up and she silently scolded herself for becoming weak around him.
Soon, her father’s attentions turned back onto Grant. Once again, Mary stood nearby as if she were a permanent fixture next to Grant. Catherine shook her head, not quite understanding why the older woman seemed so possessive.
When a warm hand touched her fingers, she looked up into Nick’s soft gaze.
“Is something troubling you?” he asked almost in a whisper.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I don’t particularly approve of how Mary hovers constantly over Grant the way she does. It’s not what a normal nurse would do, in my opinion.”
He glanced in that direction then met Catherine’s gaze again. “You know, I’ve been thinking the same thing lately.” He chuckled softly. “If I didn’t know my uncle better, I would think he was flirting with the woman.”
A giggle escaped Catherine and she quickly covered her mouth. “You are just horrid, Nicholas. But I think you are right. Even if Grant doesn’t have the same feelings, I’m beginning to believe Mary might be in love with the duke.”
“Now that would be hilarious.”
Nick’s gaze softened, as did his charming grin. They were quiet for a while, only making comments about the game.
“Do you know how beautiful you are tonight?” Nick whispered, disturbing her thoughts once again.
Her gaze flew up to his and held. “No,” she answered softly.
“You are so beautiful I cannot stop from looking at you,” he whispered again. “Do you know how badly I want to be alone with you right now?”
She shook her head, keeping her eyes locked with his. “We can’t...”
“Just for a few minutes. That’s all.”
Her heart sang with excitement, but at the same time an inner voice inside her head shouted out a warning. If they were caught alone together and Grant found out...his life would end quickly by a failing heart. She didn’t want to be responsible for killing Grant, and she knew Nick would never forgive himself if that happened.
She swallowed hard. “We can talk right now.”
“No we can’t. What I want to say needs to be said in private.”
“No, Nick. We cannot.”
“We can.”
“There’s no way.”
“I’ll make a way,” Nick promise. “Tonight.”
Grant’s voice boomed behind them, startling Catherine. “Well, I believe I’ve overdone it this evening. My body is letting me know it’s time for bed.” He stood, one hand pressing into his back.
Catherine quickly jumped up, rushing to his side. “Would you like me to help you up the stairs, Grant?”
He caressed her cheek softly. “Yes, my dear. That would be lovely.”
Grant said his goodnights to everyone, then left the room with Catherine by his side and started up the stairs. Just as they were going up, Nick came up behind them.
“Here, let me help you too, Uncle Grant,” he said as he took a hold of the duke’s other arm.
She didn’t dare look at Nick, but couldn’t resist gazing into his dreamy green eyes. His enchanting stare communicated to her – warning her of his intention.
Chapter Twelve
Nick tucked the blankets around his uncle’s waist and straightened. Weary lines creased around Grant’s eyes and lips. His uncle smiled, and even the corners of his mouth struggled to lift.
�
�Uncle Grant, I believe you have worn yourself out. Now the doctor will reprimand me for being a poor nursemaid.”
Wearily, Grant chuckled and shook his head. “I had a wonderful evening. It was good to reminisce with Henry. It’s been so long.”
“Yes, I’m certain it was good for your heart. Too bad your body disagrees.”
Grant flipped his hand through the air then dropped it to the bed. “Balderdash. I needed that time with my family.” He turned his head on the pillow and met Nick’s gaze. “Did I ever tell you about my scandalous younger days?”
“Yes.” Nick ground his teeth. He’d didn’t want to hear the duke’s stories again. Not when spending time with Catherine would bring him more enjoyment.
“No, dear nephew, I don’t believe I have told you.” Grant inhaled deeply then struggled a smile again. “This was right after my dear Elizabeth passed.”
Mary, Grant’s nurse, hung by his bed to pour him a drink of water. The duke accepted the glass and sipped. When he handed it back, he gave her a wink. Nick grinned to see such an exchange between his relative and the other woman.
Letting out a deep sigh, Nick sat on the edge of the bed, trying to concentrate on what his uncle wanted to discuss. Hopefully, Grant’s story wasn’t very long. “So you were scandalous?” Nick asked.
Grant nodded. “Although I missed Elizabeth terribly after her death, it was as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I felt free. I wanted to punish society for making me act and behave the way they thought I should. My father was dead by this time, and I wanted to prove that I could be my own man.”
Curiosity overcame Nick. He’d never heard about this part of his uncle’s life. Hard to believe Grant would be rebellious.
Love Me Always (The Fielding Brothers' Saga) Page 14
