Abounding Might

by Melissa McShane

  The house at night seemed a living thing, breathing so slowly it was imperceptible. The usual smells of roses and furniture polish were muted, as if light amplified them, brightened them as it did everything else. Denied sight, Daphne became aware of sounds: the creaking of the floorboards, which Daphne had never heard before; the ticking of the clocks, and there were more clocks than Daphne had ever realized; and the sound of her own breathing, which had a rough edge to it. Perhaps she was not as recovered as she had thought.

  The stairs to the ground floor were steeper than the others, which surprisingly made it easier for her to slip from step to step. Or possibly she was just growing adept at maneuvering with her posterior. Once again she sat, somewhat breathless, until her heart rate slowed, then used the wall to pull herself up. She leaned on it for a few seconds, then felt her way along toward the kitchen. She could smell her destination; the scents of roasted meats and fresh, pungent cheeses hung in the air like the ghosts of a thousand dinners. She felt her way to the pantry and found most of a meat pie, probably destined to be her father’s midday meal in a few hours. She helped herself to a knife and fork and dug in, sitting on the pantry floor and eating as if Papa might appear and snatch it away from her.

  When the pan was empty—she heroically refrained from licking it—she set it and the knife and fork in the apron sink and searched for something else. Oranges, Bounded fresh from the Americas, filled the air with their tangy scent. She made a basket of the skirt of her dressing gown and took two, and a handful of apples, and a banana, which she did not normally like—the seeds were so large—but in her hunger everything sounded good. Thus laden, she made her careful way back to the stairs, which she managed to climb without dropping her load or falling on her face. So much easier to Bound. At the foot of the second set of stairs, she tried Bounding, just as an experiment. A quiver went through her, but nothing else happened. It occurred to her that it might have injured her to Bound in her weakened condition, and fear struck her, fear of having almost broken her promise to Dr. Courtenay. She shuddered, and climbed the stairs the traditional way.

  Back in her room with her loot, she lit a lamp and ate her way steadily through the stash, making a pile of peels and cores on the little table next to her bed. Sucking orange juice off her fingers, she finally felt full, her stomach distended comfortably. She lay back without extinguishing the light and stretched, enjoying how easily her body moved. She had feared, when her legs did not at first obey her, that she would need to revise her exercise regimen to regain muscle, but it felt now as if she were waking from a deep sleep, one body system at a time. She already felt stronger.

  Pink light tinged the horizon, seeping across the sky like a watercolor painting. Daphne watched the line grow and deepen until the bright sun peeped across the line, making her eyes water. She no longer felt sleepy; she felt eager to be up and about. She rolled out of bed and opened her clothespress. Her Bounder uniform, the War Office uniform, lay folded neatly atop her other clothes, the ones she had left behind upon going to India. Someone had sponged it, and it did not smell of blood and vomit, just of clean fresh linen. She gave it only a moment’s thought before removing her nightgown and donning the uniform. If she were to regain her strength, she would need to exercise, and she could scarcely do that in a nice muslin gown.

  When Mama entered the room two hours later, Daphne was engaged in a strength-building exercise that had left her rather sweaty. Her muscles burned pleasantly with exertion, her mind was clear, and she was not expecting her mother’s pained exclamation and the words “Daphne! You are meant to be resting!”

  Daphne dropped the lead weight and turned, stretching out her arms. “I do not feel tired, just restless. I thought this would help me more than lying in bed thinking dangerous thoughts would.”

  “Dangerous thoughts? And what would those be?” Mama sat on the edge of Daphne’s bed.

  “Oh… contemplating how I might induce Major Schofeld to Bound me back to India. Those kind of thoughts.”

  “Dangerous indeed.” Mama interlaced her fingers and rested them on her knee. “General Omberlis sent word that he will visit you this afternoon, if you are well enough. I take it from this display that you are.”

  A chill passed through her despite the warmth of her exertions. “Why is the general visiting?”

  “He did not give specifics. I imagine he wishes to see for himself that you are well. Your condition… there was rather a lot of speculation about you, and whether you would recover fully.”

  “Why should I not recover fully? Mama, was there a chance…” She did not know how to finish the sentence.

  “No. Dr. Courtenay assured us if you recovered at all, it would be a complete recovery. The speculation was more about whether you would still be a Bounder, let alone an Extraordinary.”

  Daphne staggered to the bed and sat on it. Her legs were not as strong as she had supposed. “But… why would I not? Mama, surely Dr. Courtenay would not have given me false hope, if there were—Mama, tell me it is not true!”

  Mama put her arms around her and hugged her close, rocking her gently. “Speculation only. Your talent caused your injury, after all, and there were those who supposed that meant your talent might be in danger. You are still an Extraordinary Bounder. But those rumors spread widely, and the general is a cautious man.”

  Daphne clung to her mother as if she were once again three years old and crying out against her first thunderstorm. “I would almost rather be dead.”

  “Never say that, darling.”

  “I did say ‘almost.’ I tried to Bound earlier without guessing it might hurt me, but I simply could not. Are you certain—”

  “Certain. An Extraordinary Shaper has ways of knowing. Now, I believe you should nap for a few hours, if you can. General Omberlis can be overwhelming.”

  Daphne nodded and let Mama help her into bed without removing her uniform. She was asleep moments later.

  “It is good to see you well, Lady Daphne,” General Omberlis said, extending his hand for her to shake. “I trust this visit does not inconvenience you.”

  “No, sir,” Daphne said. She was sitting up on the sofa rather than reclining, and at General Omberlis’ request they were alone. Daphne tried not to feel unnerved at that. If this were merely a social visit, he would not have asked Lord and Lady Claresby to leave. The general had something on his mind, and Daphne would not be comfortable until he came out with it.

  “You are fully Healed?” General Omberlis said. “There are no… side effects?”

  “I am Healed, and in possession of my talent, though I am not yet capable of using it.”

  “Forgive my bluntness, but if you cannot use it, how do you know you still have it?”

  “There was no reason to believe it would be lost simply because it was the cause of my injury, General. And Dr. Courtenay assures me it is intact. In a day or so I will be back to Bounding as usual.”

  “Ah.” General Omberlis leaned back in his seat and fiddled with his hat, which rested on his knee. “That is good. You are a valuable part of the War Office and I would hate to lose that.”

  “Lady Loudoun certainly considers me valuable.” Daphne did not believe she sounded bitter. She liked the countess, and did not mind conveying her and her children. It was simply not the same as being a courier, or a battlefield Bounder, or even having Major Schofeld’s position. She felt the general was patronizing her, and it made her irritable.

  The general cleared his throat. “Lady Loudoun has decided to bring her household permanently to Calcutta. She sees herself as a leader of society, and believes she will be better positioned to fill that role if she does not have one foot in England.”

  “But what of the children? Lady Loudoun has told me often that she believes the climate is not a good one for children.”

  “I understand Lord Moira and Lady Loudoun have decided they would prefer to keep their family intact, even if there is an increased risk to their children’s heal
th. They intend to hire an Extraordinary Shaper to attend on their household, for that reason.”

  Daphne made herself breathe calmly, in through the nose, out through the mouth. “Then she will have no more need for me. Will I instead be attached to Government House in general?”

  “Possibly. They already have many Bounders, Extraordinary and otherwise. We may assign you elsewhere.”

  Daphne fought a brief and bloodless battle with herself. “General, I believe… my condition no longer troubles me.”

  “Your condition?”

  “My predisposition to faint at the sight of blood.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “This is not a ploy to change my mind, is it?”

  “No, sir. I cannot be certain, it happened when I was dying, so I intend to make a trial and verify my claim. But I thought you should know, so as to best determine where I may be useful.” To think she had once longed to be free of her weakness. Now she could only imagine how it might take her farther from Fletcher. “But… if I may, General… I am very fond of India.”

  “Are you? I was unaware anyone was fond of India.”

  Daphne remembered Fletcher eating doi mach, sitting cross-legged on the floor, and how natural he had looked doing it. “Some of us are. If… if my wishes are at all relevant, I should prefer to remain there.”

  “Lady Daphne,” General Omberlis said, “if you are capable of serving on the battlefield, I am inclined to put you there. We have a great need for battlefield transportation and for couriers. But I will consider your request.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  They both fell silent, though Daphne was certain the general had more to say. She clasped her hands in front of her and waited, not very patiently. Finally, the general said, “Who is this Captain Fletcher who nearly got you killed?”

  “He did not—General, that is not at all what happened, it was my fault, the captain was being held and I did not realize it was impossible to Bound with someone being held by a Mover. He is a king’s officer attached to Government House, if that is what you mean.”

  “He seems to have inspired great loyalty in you, for you to risk your life for him.”

  You have no idea, General. “We are friends, sir. He would have done the same for me, in fact he did, he could have escaped but it would have meant leaving me behind—”

  “That is enough, Lady Daphne. I did not mean to criticize. I merely wish to know your assessment of him as an officer. I have heard his name in a variety of contexts and would like your opinion.”

  Daphne gaped. “I… he is a good officer, I believe. His men listen to him, and he does not unnecessarily risk their lives. He knows India well and the people respect him, which is not usual. I do not know why he has not been promoted.”

  “He is not in my chain of command, so I cannot answer that, but I imagine that will no longer be the case when this Madhyapatnam business is finished.” The general tapped his fingers on his hat. “Very well, Lady Daphne, thank you for your candor. You will return to India?”

  “Very soon. As soon as I can Bound.”

  “The War Office will be in contact with you shortly. It will take Lady Loudoun some time to complete the movement of her household, so you should consider yourself attached to her until further notice.”

  “I understand, sir.”

  “You are not to return to Madhyapatnam.”

  It was like a blow to the face. “Sir?” she said, closing her hand on the arm of the sofa.

  “You are too valuable to risk there, and your first duty is to Lady Loudoun. Major Schofeld has been temporarily assigned to the Residence.”

  “But—General, I have been a part of—they are my friends, they depend on me—”

  “There is nothing you can do for them. If for some reason the Residence needs to be evacuated, Schofeld will call for your assistance. Otherwise…” He spread his hands wide, indicating the discussion was over.

  Daphne had to concentrate on her breathing again. “Yes, sir.”

  The general rose. “We are all very grateful for your survival, Lady Daphne. You have many friends at the War Office who were concerned for your health.”

  “Thank you, sir.” She could not imagine who at the War Office might be concerned about her, save in the sense that humans are drawn to the sight of great disasters. She was too angry to say more than that.

  “Do not stand, please,” the general said, though Daphne had made no move to rise. “Rest well, Lady Daphne.”

  She stared blindly at the door once it shut behind him. She had not expected that. Cut off from Madhyapatnam, for no other reason than that General Omberlis thought her weak enough to have been disabled by her Bounding. He had not even had to say it. Daphne felt she might scream, but it would frighten her parents, and they had already been frightened enough.

  Without thinking, she Bounded to her bedroom, and realized what she had done when she startled a maidservant tidying her dressing table. She made a hasty apology and Bounded back to the blue drawing room, where she again sat on the sofa and tried to calm herself. She was well, she might go anywhere she liked in the space of a breath, but she was bound by her promises and her oath to the War Office not to go to the one place she longed to be. It was so unfair… but no, fairness had nothing to do with it. To think how she had been so eager to join the War Office, and now she resented its control over her.

  She stood and stretched. She might be capable of Bounding again, but she did not feel equal to carrying a passenger, and her legs and arms still felt rubbery if she exerted herself too long. She would walk to her room, and then she would write a letter to Bess, explaining it all. She could not write to Fletcher and the others; how odd that would look, a young woman writing to a group of men to whom she was neither related nor engaged. But perhaps she might confide her feelings in Bess, who could pass on her message to Fletcher: I would not leave you for all the world, but duty drives me. She would have to leave it to him to come to her. She hoped she was right, and he still wanted to.

  In which Daphne is called into action

  ajor Schofeld came late that evening, after supper, when Daphne had begun to feel weary and in need of her bed. “Do not be alarmed, Lady Daphne,” he said. “I apologize for coming so late, but I thought you would want news of the siege.”

  Daphne caught sight of her parents exchanging glances. “Not bad news?” she exclaimed.

  “No, of course not, everyone is quite well. That is,” Schofeld cleared his throat, “the battle is rather more heated than it has been. But there is no need to fear. The regiment is almost there, and it will break the siege, I am certain of it.”

  “Major,” Daphne said, trying to keep from shrieking at him, “I would prefer not to be told a comforting lie. How bad is it, truly?”

  Schofeld cleared his throat again. “Sir Rodney is still confident in his men. He has not yet ordered an evacuation.”

  Daphne shot to her feet. “But you will call on me if that happens, will you not? Major—”

  “Daphne, do not exert yourself,” Mama said. “If Sir Rodney is not afraid, you should not be.”

  “That is precisely true, Lady Daphne,” Schofeld said. He looked relieved to have Lady Claresby’s support. “I have not been instructed to bring you in—”

  “General Omberlis said I might return if you called on me to help with an evacuation. Please, Major, do not try to protect me, I am nearly fully recovered.”

  “Daphne—”

  “Mama, I am, I feel quite well!”

  “You are also enthusiastic in your desire to help your friends, which is laudable,” Papa said, “but you cannot help anyone if you injure yourself further.”

  “I promise I will not do so! Do you imagine I wish to weaken myself?”

  “I believe you are sincere in that promise, but your evaluation of your capabilities might be… flawed.” Papa looked as serious as she had ever seen him, and she flinched away from his gaze.

  “Then how else am I to know when
I am capable? It is not as if anyone else can sense beneath my skin. I ran up and down the stairs this afternoon, and I feel no tiredness from Bounding throughout the house. I am certain I am ready to return to India.”

  “One more night here,” Mama said, “one more hearty breakfast. You may well return in time to meet your friends in Calcutta, if the regiment arrives soon enough.”

  “I am prepared to carry any messages you might have,” Schofeld said. Daphne’s parents looked at her expectantly, as if hoping she might come out with more cryptic utterances. Daphne Bounded to her bedroom for her letter to Bess and returned immediately, putting it into Schofeld’s outstretched hand.

  “Please give everyone my best wishes,” she said, “and promise me you will—”

  “I understand, Lady Daphne, but I truly believe the Residence can hold out one more day,” Schofeld said. Daphne examined him closely for signs he was exaggerating, or telling her a comforting falsehood, but he seemed the same jovial man he always was. She nodded, and he vanished.

  “Daphne,” Mama said, then let out a deep sigh and shook her head in resignation.

  “What is it, Mama?”

  “You are an adult, and an Extraordinary, and we do not wish to pry,” Papa said, “but we wish you would tell us what you are not saying about your time in India.”

  “I—there is likely much I have not told you—”

  “If you have formed an attachment, I believe it is not unreasonable for us to wish to know about it,” Mama said. “You are simply too eager to return to Madhyapatnam for anything so commonplace as friendship. But if you don’t trust us—”

  “Oh, Mama, that is low,” Daphne exclaimed. “Of course I trust you, it is just that… everything is so uncertain, and nothing is settled… I feel I should not speak until… actually I am not certain—”