Dating A Saint

by Donna McDonald

  When Lauren looked down at her clothes again, she saw the trashcan sitting on the floor by the bed. Casey and Ben must have put it there in case he got sick. Peeling off what was left of her pajamas, she dropped the tattered remains into the container. She found Jim’s dress shirt hanging in the closet and slipped it on. It mostly buttoned over her breasts and nearly covered her rear. If she stood straight enough, no one would get flashed on the trip back to her room.

  She turned back to the bed and saw a completely naked Jim lying on his back again. Lauren didn’t even remember him removing his underwear, but they were now gone. Tempted by how good he looked, Lauren lifted a corner of the top cover, adeptly rolling him off onto the sheets. Jim never woke up, but did stop snoring. Then she flicked the cover over him to hide his body from her sight, not bothering to tuck the cover down. As much heat as the man generated, he probably slept outside the covers anyway.

  Her hand was on the door to leave when she remembered the three orgasms Jim had given her. He had been a relentless lover, helped along no doubt by the liquor dulling his senses. Still he had provided three amazing trips to paradise. It put a few points back in the plus column for him since it had been years since the last time a man had given her even one.

  Even in the beginning of her marriage, Jared had only managed to give her two a couple of times. Three big ones should be worth at least a little kindness.

  She walked back to the bed, pulled a pillow down, and tucked it under Jim’s head.

  The rest they would have to settle in the morning when she returned his shirt.

  Chapter 11

  When her key card for Jim’s room didn’t work the next morning at seven, Lauren took it to the front desk only to be told the occupant of the room had already checked out.

  Concerned, the desk clerk asked if there were any problems.

  Lauren pushed the key card across the counter to him. “Evidently not,” she replied, lifting her chin and walking away.

  She walked to the lobby area where Regina and Alexa were sipping coffee and waiting for her.

  “Wow,” Regina said, standing up and yawning. “I thought my erotic dreams were realistic. Yours must be amazing. You even have a hicky.”

  “What happened?” Alexa said, sliding Lauren a glance.

  “Nothing worth talking about I guess,” Lauren said sarcastically. “Jim checked out at five this morning.”

  “Checked out?” Regina asked, shocked—and it was hard to shock her. “Jim just left without talking to you? Is he insane? Didn’t you say he came here expressly to see you?”

  “You’re the expert on insane, Dr. Logan. What do you think?” Lauren asked in return, glaring at the stupidity of the question.

  “What do I think? I think,” Regina said more calmly, noting the mix of fury and pain in Lauren’s gaze, “—I think we need a champagne breakfast to toast the bride. Then I think after the wedding, we should help you do something exceedingly nasty to Jim Gallagher. But that’s just me.”

  Regina rubbed Lauren’s arm, relieved to hear her giggle. “I can tell something happened last night. I’ve been biting my lip not to badger you for details. Are we plotting to kill him?”

  “I’m too old be regretful and too tired to plan a murder,” Lauren said on a laugh. “Besides—I don’t want to kill Jim Gallagher. Even drunk, the man gave me three orgasms. I want to tie him to my bed and get some more out of him. I’m not even angry he destroyed my new pajamas and marked me as his territory again. I’m mostly mad this morning because I’m pretty sure he was too drunk to know it was me last night.”

  “Well, look at it this way,” Alexa said carefully, glad Lauren was choosing to be angry instead of sad. She would have hated to have had to kill a man on her wedding day. “At least the cowardly cad gave you something before he ran away. Did you give him anything?” Other than your heart.

  Alexa smiled bravely at Lauren as she waited for a reply.

  Lauren snorted, shaking her growing mane of silver blond hair like an angry mare in heat. “I gave him nothing but a hard time, which is what he gave me. Wait—I did put a pillow under his head before I left. Does that count?”

  Alexa laughed, drawing the attention of most of the men passing through the lobby.

  “Of course,” Alexa said grandly, standing and hugging Lauren’s other arm. “Most women would have left a tearful note asking how could you do this to me on the pillow instead. Jim is lucky you’re older and more mature.”

  “No. He’s lucky I didn’t break him in half,” Lauren said, cheered by their show of support. “I was too worn out afterward. I forgot how much better orgasms were with two people involved.”

  “Well, good thing you held off hurting him or you’d have missed out,” Regina said, rubbing her arm again as they walked to the restaurant. “Honey, never hurt a man before the orgasm. Always do it after you’re done with him.”

  Lauren laughed without much humor. “I know I could have pushed him off me, probably should have under the circumstances, but I was too desperate for release.”

  “You have a right to have what you want, Lauren,” Regina vouched, not doubting it.

  Lauren sighed as they were led to a table. “Who am I kidding? Truth is, I didn’t want to stop him—I just wanted him,” she confessed, knowing they’d understand. “He wanted me too. He just doesn’t feel good about it.”

  “Shaun the stripper was very cute, but face it, Jim is a giant step up,” Alexa said, leaning on her hands. “At least you slept with right guy. I mean—if you’re going to sin sister, go for the best.”

  Lauren sighed and closed her eyes. “Jim was definitely the best.”

  She opened her eyes, got up from her seat, walked to Alexa, and bent to kiss her. “You were so right about Jim being a wolf. He actually growled at me while—well, let’s say more than once, and literally ripped the clothes off me to get what he wanted. Girlfriend, you definitely need to write a book.”

  Alexa laughed. “I wondered what happened to your clothes. You were wearing Jim’s shirt when you woke up this morning. I thought maybe you dressed his drunk ass in your pink pajamas to teach him a lesson.”

  Lauren laughed this time with genuine mirth. It hadn’t even occurred to her. Oh how she wished she had an imagination like Alexa or Regina. Maybe as she got older, she thought.

  “In a way, having sex with Jim ended up being the ultimate practical joke on both of us. As drunk and tightly wound as he was, Jim would have attacked anything female that crawled into bed with him. I mean, I’m glad it was me, but this morning I’m hanging on to the memory of him saying my name when he first saw me so I don’t track him down and kill him. Last night was physically satisfying but emotionally disappointing in ways I can’t even describe yet.”

  “My offer still stands. If you want to do something dastardly and ugly in retaliation, count me in,” Alexa offered. “Casey and I don’t leave for our honeymoon until tomorrow evening. I love you, you know.”

  “I know, and I love you too. But I want you to just focus on your wedding. You’ve waited too long for this day to ruin it with something as petty as murder,” Lauren said easily, making Alexa laugh.

  She walked to Regina, hugged and kissed her too. “My dear Dr. Logan, I understand now why I had to find out about Jim’s wife for myself. I hate the situation. I hate I can’t do anything to change it. And I hate—hate—hate the fact Jim can’t seem to change his thinking about it. But even if he hates what happened between us last night, I don’t—because of you. You are the best therapist in the world.”

  Regina blinked and sniffed, close to full out bawling. “Want to borrow my handcuffs to chain Jim to the bed and get some more of what you want from him?”

  “Maybe,” Lauren said, eyes twinkling. “Maybe I will when I stop being angry.”

  Alexa smiled as the champagne was brought to the table. “We can plot later. Right now, let’s toast.”

  Lauren lifted her glass. “Me first—here’s to the sullied
reputation of Saint McCarthy, who willingly and knowingly had sex with a married man last night. Move over, ladies. I just joined the notorious club.”

  They laughed and drank to her new status, and then toasted their good fortune all around.

  *** *** ***

  At the wedding, Sydney stood at Alexa’s elbow, practically leaning over her as she and Casey exchanged vows. Lauren, as a bridesmaid, stood at Sydney’s side in a shimmering column of blue, her white blond hair gleaming, and her matching heels making her as tall as the rest of the bridal party.

  Alexa looked like a fantasy in her white lace dress with the bottom spilling around her ankles and more fanning lace streaming out behind her.

  In a black tuxedo, Seth was the tallest man in the bridal party. He stood proudly next to Casey in his Marine uniform, watching things as intensely as Sydney. On the other side of Seth, Paul stood smiling. In fact, Paul hadn’t stopped smiling since the ceremony had begun. No one was any happier about Alexa’s marriage than her ex-husband.

  The groom—fantasy groom that he was—hadn’t taken his eyes off the bride the whole time. Lauren watched Casey’s brown gaze shift and change with emotion as Alexa promised to be his wife. The man was so in love with her friend, and it was so obvious, it made Lauren weak with envy.

  Seth winked, making Lauren aware of her too serious expression. She made herself smile back at Seth, sincerely wanting to believe he and Jenna would find love and their own happily-ever-after.

  Then Lauren glanced at the front pew for the hundredth time while Alexa and Casey exchanged vows. Jenna, Regina, and Ben looked on the ceremony, smiling in pleasure. Regina occasionally dabbed her eyes. The seat next to Ben, where Jim was supposed to be sitting, was empty. The coward had failed to show.

  Lauren tossed her blond hair back, determined not to care as Sydney passed along yet another giant armful of flowers to her. She already had one that practically covered half her body. The enormous wedding bouquets looked like florist advertisements, but then over-the-top was Alexa’s favorite style.

  Lauren could have wept with relief when the minister finally announced it was time to kiss the bride. Cheers erupted from the church full of people. Photographers stood and cameras flashed as Casey bent Alexa over his arm.

  Lauren smiled and looked on, wishing it were over, though she knew it wasn’t fair to Alexa to wish her big moment away. But finally, thankfully, and a couple hundred professional photos later, it was really done.

  Casey and Alexa left the church happily heading to change clothes before the reception.

  Lauren wandered back inside the chapel. She looked until she found Ben and Regina. “Go on to the reception. I’ll see to the flowers and be right there. I’ll only be about fifteen minutes behind everyone else.”

  “You holding up okay?” Regina asked, putting her hands on Lauren’s bare arms and rubbing.

  “Yes. Mostly.” Lauren bent and kissed Regina’s cheek. “No worries.”

  But after the church had emptied, and while the florists were finishing up, Lauren sat on the first pew and closed her eyes. This is the dream, she though sadly. Big wedding. Beautiful dress. Handsome, devoted groom. And of course—the promise of happily ever after.

  When she married Jared years ago, she’d had the dream. It had just turned into a nightmare over time. After it had ended so badly, she’d had nothing for a very long time. Lauren had never seriously dated, hadn’t let herself sleep with anyone, even though she had secretly admired women like Alexa who did as they liked.

  Jim had once had the dream as well, she knew. And she did not doubt his story about how much he had believed in it. She sincerely understood why Jim had chosen to continue his marriage, why he felt compelled still to take care of his wife despite the circumstances. He was only more appealing to her for his faithfulness to a woman who had in most ways abandoned him years ago.

  Like her, Jim had denied himself a normal relationship for years. Last night had been at least physically cathartic for both of them. His fierceness had revealed to her the depth of his desire, a desire she sincerely believed was solely for her. But beyond the sex, she was now wondering where she even fit into Jim’s life.

  After all, that was the real question, wasn’t it? Lauren couldn’t be his wife—or at least not a legal one. She might be something else—if she wanted—if he wanted. One thing for sure, she certainly wasn’t willing to be seen as just another mistake, the way he viewed the last woman he’d slept with. Throwing herself at him and demanding a place in his life was very tempting. God only knew she did want more of what she had last night, regardless of the label anyone would put on it.

  It wasn’t a great moment for her to realize she loved a man who might never love her back. The dream wasn’t even a possibility for her with Jim. But she wasn’t stupid or naïve—Lauren knew life didn’t work out perfectly for everyone.

  Sometimes there was no happy ending to your story, no matter how much you wanted one.

  Lauren stood and looked around at the now empty church. This is the only true reality, she decided, staring at the emptiness. In this day and age, any relationship could be wiped away just as fast as all traces of Alexa’s and Casey’s wedding had been removed from the church in the short time she had waited.

  At forty-two, she would have no problem ending a relationship that gave her nothing and only made her feel bad about herself. She had absolutely no regrets about ending her terrible marriage. One toxic relationship in a lifetime was enough for any woman, she thought. Jim felt guilty, and his guilt made her feel guilty. She had no intention of feeling guilty for the rest of her life, even if it meant giving him up.

  Lauren sadly picked up both giant bridal bouquets and carried them out to her car.

  *** *** ***

  When Ben and Regina came to the reception without Lauren, Jim got really worried. Casey and Alexa had been there for quite some time. He had already profusely apologized for missing the wedding. Fortunately, they were too caught up in wedding bliss to be more than mildly offended.

  Where is she? Jim wondered, fighting his panic. Lauren was supposed to have been a bridesmaid. She should have arrived with the rest of the wedding party.

  When Regina saw Jim alone, she walked straight over to where he stood.

  “We missed you at the wedding,” she said, peering up into Jim’s worried face.

  “I’ve been dealing with a terrible hangover. Listen—did Lauren come to see me last night?” Jim asked abruptly.

  “How should I know? Lauren was talking to Alexa when I went to sleep,” Regina said, her brow wrinkling as she pretended to be surprised. “Why?”

  Jim put his hands in his pockets. “I got drunk and ended up in a room at your hotel. I was intending to find Lauren, but I don’t know if I did. I don’t remember much about last night.”

  “Wow, you must have been smashed,” she said with false sympathy. “You seriously don’t remember?”

  Regina liked Jim, truly she did, but the man needed to suffer a little for disappointing Lauren, not just once—but several times.

  Jim shook his head. “I’m not proud of myself, but I didn’t do it on purpose either.”

  Regina crossed her arms. “I hear Casey and Ben dropped you at the hotel. You are not on my good list today, Gallagher. I should let you stew in your mortification for disappointing one of the sweetest women I know. You should have hung around this morning.”

  Jim rubbed a hand over his face. “Regina, please. Lecture me some other time. Was Lauren in my room last night? I have to know.”

  “Ask her yourself,” Regina said, shaking her head.

  “I can’t unless I know it was her first. Will you at least tell me what she was wearing when you last saw her?” Jim asked, begging.

  “What are you? Some kind of fashion policeman?” Regina asked meanly.

  She relented only when she saw Jim put his hands in his pockets. Damn it all to hell, she thought, feeling sorry for him at last.

  “L
auren was strutting around our room in pink silk pajamas when I went to bed,” Regina said, forcing the admission out of her mouth.

  Jim put his arms around Regina, hugged her tightly, and kissed her soundly on her cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered in her ear.

  Ben walked up just as Jim was letting his wife go. “Gallagher. Do I even want to know why you’re hugging and kissing my wife?”

  “No,” Jim said to Ben firmly, and then he saw Lauren finally walk through the door. Jim walked away from Ben and Regina without another word, and headed across the room to her.

  “Well, looks like Lauren finally got part of her wish,” Regina said lightly, sniffing.

  Ben put an arm around his softhearted wife and smiled.

  *** *** ***

  Lauren saw Jim approaching and stiffened to keep from spinning and running. She lifted her chin, forcing her attention away from how haggard he looked.

  “Dance with me,” Jim ordered, ignoring her glare as he tugged on her hand.

  “I’m too busy to dance,” Lauren said, digging in as best she could in her three-inch heels. If she took any further action, she’d end up destroying the snug fitting dress.

  “Too bad. We need to talk. Nice dress by the way,” Jim said, turning her into his arms. “You know you need to take it for a test drive around the dance floor. Sydney will be disappointed if you don’t advertise a little.”

  “I don’t give a flip what Sydney thinks today,” Lauren said. “Let me go or you’ll be sorry.”

  “I’m already sorry. I can be sorry with my arms around you or sorry lying on the floor with your heel puncturing my throat. Make me as sorry as you want, but first tell me what happened last night,” Jim said in her ear. “Did you come to my room?”

  “I don’t want to talk about last night,” Lauren said firmly, as his arms tightened around her.

  Jim said nothing. It took all his composure to keep dancing with her and not run like hell from the conversation.

  “Did I do something to hurt you?” he asked, heart dropping into his stomach as Lauren laughed harshly.