Dating A Saint

by Donna McDonald

  Lauren burst out laughing and rolled off him to the other side of the tiny bed. “I’ve heard he’s for advanced women only. Regina said I would have to be with you for years before I could even consider spending one night with an advanced guy like Ben.”

  Jim stared at the ceiling. He conceded Kaiser did have a big pair of balls about taking on things, but hell—where did he get his know-how? Ben was married to the same woman for twenty-five years. Did a man get all that with one woman? His short time with Cassandra hadn’t brought him much new experience. Lauren was turning out to be his biggest learning curve.

  “Do you think she was serious?” Jim asked, very subdued as he wondered if Regina had such a poor opinion of his sexuality. He had dated Alexa and had indulged in few hot thoughts about Regina. It had never occurred to him women compared notes so much.

  Much to his chagrin, Jim’s sincere question only sent Lauren rolling from side to side and pounding the bed. “No. I don’t think Regina was being serious. She was teasing me for bragging about how good you were. I bet Ben never gives her multiple orgasms. If he does, she would have told us by now.”

  “Really?” Jim asked, rolling to his side to consider the laughing woman he was in love with and wanted to please in every way.

  Lauren held up a hand and crooked her pinky finger at him. “Pinky swear,” she said. “Regina would have told me. The woman fears nothing and talks about everything. Trust me.”

  Jim hooked his pinky with hers. “I’m only going to get better with more practice.”

  Lauren pulled him to her by their linked fingers, until he was hovering over her. “I rarely got to have one orgasm with Jared. I preferred my toys to him. You are more awesome than I could ever have imagined. I love your size, your weight, the insistence of you pressing into me like you have to or you’ll die. You really are the most perfect man I could wish for, and I’m very glad I waited for you.”

  The growl of ownership was instinctual, but it brought a flush to Lauren’s face.

  “Come home with me,” Jim demanded, thumbing her nipple to life and getting a moan from her. “I prefer to practice in my own bed where there is room for people our size.”

  “Fine by me. I still can’t believe you got me naked in a forty dollar motel room,” Lauren said on a snort. “Your king bed and high thread count sheets sound like luxury right now.”

  “Yeah, but I’m going to smile every time I drive by here on the way to see Sandy and Sam,” Jim told her. “It was worth every penny to me.”

  Lauren rolled off the bed and to her feet, making Jim grin more. “I’m starved. You?” she asked.

  “Can you wait a couple hours? There’s this great Italian place near my house. We’ll have dinner there, and take the cannoli home for later,” Jim said, smiling as Lauren sorted through her underwear and clothes strewn across the floor of the room.

  “Is that wicked look you have about me or the cannoli?” she asked, straightening.

  “Both. Give me the ride home to think about it,” Jim said. “I can be very creative under the right circumstances with the right woman.”

  Lauren stepped into her underwear, fastened her bra, and pulled the tee shirt over her head. “I’ll use the ride home to think about creating the right circumstances. I’m already the right woman.”

  “You’re the most perfect woman in world,” Jim said, meaning it more than he would be able to convince her of in a single night.

  Chapter 19

  “And then when I thought I couldn’t stand another second of what he was doing to me, Jim made me scream. I’m telling you I shook the walls with my vocal chords,” Lauren said, digging into her pasta as she finished her story, savoring every bite. “I had no idea great sex could make food taste so good.”

  Regina watched Lauren eating, torn between disbelief and exasperation. She only wished it had been because Jim somehow used cannoli to make Lauren scream. It would have been fun to extract Jim’s sex secrets from her. Unfortunately, it was Lauren who had the big secret, because Regina suspected the woman was very pregnant even if she was still in total denial about it.

  “So where was the cannoli when you screamed?” Alexa asked, leaning forward and watching Lauren tear through food like she hadn’t eaten in weeks. She held back her laughter, but could not stifle her grin.

  Lauren stopped eating and lowered the remaining breadstick down to rest on her plate.

  “I can’t tell you,” she said, her face flushing. “Jim made me promise. If I tell you, he won’t do it again. I can’t risk that.”

  Alexa burst out laughing. “You’re bluffing,” she taunted.

  “Make fun all you want,” Lauren said, picking up her breadstick again. “It was the most amazing thing ever, and I’m not telling.”

  “Lauren,” Regina began, choosing her words carefully. “How are you feeling, honey? Did you ever get your little medical issue checked out?”

  Lauren ate the last bite of pasta and popped the last bite of bread into her mouth. “What medical issue?”

  Regina crossed her arms, tilted her head to one side, and waited for Lauren to get a clue.

  “Oh God,” Lauren said, putting her face in her hand. “I totally forgot.”

  Digging into her purse, she pulled out a pocket calendar and counted. Then the pocket calendar hit the table. “Three weeks. I missed it by three weeks. I just—forgot,” she offered lamely.

  “Make an appointment and go tomorrow,” Regina ordered.

  “You two going to clue me in or do I have to do my own sleuthing?” Alexa asked.

  Regina turned an innocent gaze to Alexa.

  “Please—the Dr. Logan neutrality look? Who are you kidding?” Alexa barked, looking away from Regina to return to studying Lauren.

  “Dewey complexion, ravenous appetite, and estrogen rolling off her in waves. I’m getting a contact high just sitting across from her. Deduction? Lauren is pregnant,” Alexa pronounced.

  Lauren laid her head on the table beside her plate and groaned. “Stupid. I’ve been so stupid.”

  “No,” Regina said sternly. “You’ve been in denial. Did you tell Jim about the first time?”

  Lauren raised her head, nodding up and down.

  “Did you mention the fact it was unprotected sex?” Regina asked.

  Lauren shook her head from side to side. “He didn’t ask me either.”

  “Well, that makes it all right then,” Regina said, throwing up her hands. “You’re forty-two, Lauren. You can’t just hope everything will be okay. You’re going to have to tell Mr. Cannoli he might be a father.”

  “I don’t know that yet,” Lauren said, her mind clearing. “I need to take a test. I did buy one. It’s still in my purse.”

  Lauren lifted a giant tote from the floor, rummaged around in it, and relaxed when she saw the box was still there.

  “Take it. But no matter what it says, go get a real test in a doctor’s office tomorrow,” Regina ordered. “If I have to, I will come pick you up and drive you to the doctor myself.”

  “Calm down, Mama Kaiser,” Alexa said laughing, reaching over to shake Regina’s arm. “Your baby can take care of this. She’s just in shock.”

  “My baby probably hasn’t used birth control since the day she crawled into that man’s bed,” Regina said, irritated.

  Lauren started sniffing as she thought about what Regina was saying. “I wasn’t intentionally trying to get pregnant—I just wasn’t doing anything not to get pregnant. I kept meaning to do things, but they just never worked out. I kept forgetting.”

  “Love makes you crazy,” Alexa said, unable to stop the grin. “You’re going to be a great mother. Lydia will be a terror, but we’ll even her out.”

  “I’ll be supportive later. I’m not done being pissed yet,” Regina said, laughing. “I’m mad at Jim for never asking what precautions you were taking, and for not wearing a damn condom. I don’t care if he does make you scream.”

  “You’re just jealous,” Lauren accu
sed, part of her laughing, the other part sighing. Regina was right. She had certainly not handled this well.

  “Damn right I’m jealous,” Regina agreed. “I love to eat, but I’ve put on fifteen pounds since I got married. I’m going to have to start dieting just as you start eating for two. Life is so not fair.”

  “Tell me about it,” Alexa said on a laugh. “I’ve lost ten pounds since Casey moved in and started having sex with me several times a week. He’s the best diet plan I’ve ever found. I can eat anything I want now. It’s better than my forties.”

  “Wait—you’re losing weight because of great sex?” Regina looked from Alexa to Lauren and back. “I hate you both right now.”

  “Well, I love you, Regina,” Lauren said quietly. “But you’re right. I’ll tell Jim as soon as I can.”

  “Oh hell, do the tests first,” Regina said, resigned. “Find out for sure, and then tell him. If you aren’t pregnant, don’t leave the doctor’s office until you’ve made arrangements for some sort of protection.”

  “Yes, Dr. Logan,” Lauren said, feeling a kinship with Alexa as she laughed.

  Regina stared at Lauren for a few heartbeats. “So where the hell was the cannoli when you screamed?”

  “It was in the parlor with Mrs. Plum, and the murder weapon was a candlestick,” Lauren told her, making Regina burst out laughing.

  “You’re seriously not going to tell us, are you?” Regina asked.

  “The cannoli secret will go to my grave with me,” Lauren promised.

  “We’ll see about that,” Alexa warned with a wicked smile. “Regina and I have been notorious a hell of a lot longer than you, sister. We have ways of finding out your secrets.”

  Alexa wanted to know, and badly, so she’d get Casey to ask Jim. Men loved to brag to each other.

  *** *** ***

  “So, Jim, where was the cannoli when Lauren screamed?” Casey asked from the driver’s seat of the Lexus SUV he now drove more than Alexa did. Casey had waited all day and saved the interrogation for the ride home to Virginia from Whispering Pines. He had almost two hours to crack Mr. Mysterious and make him talk.

  Ben was riding shotgun in the front and laughed from the passenger’s seat. “Give it up, Carter. The man is not going to share his bedroom secrets with you. I haven’t—nor do I plan to. You want to learn something new? Read Regina’s books.”

  Jim was in the back seat texting with his office. He looked up in time to see Casey grinning in the rear view mirror.

  “I could tell you,” Jim said quietly, “but then I’d have to kill you. I can’t do that right now because I still have too much work for you to do. Ask me again in a couple of years.”

  Jim went back to what he was doing, pretending not to care about the conversation, keeping his smile to himself, even when he heard Ben’s snicker. He hadn’t missed the fact that Kaiser—a.k.a. Mr. Too-Advanced-For-Lauren—was not asking any questions. Jim was starting to think Regina might not have been teasing Lauren about Ben.

  Why else would the man not be curious? It was cannoli, for heaven’s sake. Food didn’t get more sexual. Of course, adding the part about the scream had been genius, too. Lauren had tried it out later that evening, for research purposes, she said. Screaming had definitely added a unique edge to both their climaxes, the sound vibrating through him. He was hoping to make her do it again soon.

  Pulling himself from memories of Lauren, Jim thought it too bad Kaiser wasn’t churning also. Casey was easy to poke, to nudge into frustration. Ben was tougher, older, less caring of what others did. He was a man who tended to mind his own business most of the time.

  Damn it.

  It had taken Lauren and him hours to come up with the perfect ruse, which she had obviously pulled off to perfection with the notorious sisterhood, since Alexa had recruited Casey to find out. Feeding each other cannoli while they schemed was definitely going to be one of his best memories, Jim thought. And licking the filling off Lauren’s breasts was definitely going to be another. It had certainly helped the scream be more authentic.

  “Earth to Gallagher,” Casey said, interrupting the mind wandering Jim was so obviously doing. “Was it really that damn profound?”

  Jim leaned forward in the seat. “I hadn’t tried the cannoli move since college. Now I’m thinking of buying an Italian bakery and giving it to Lauren as a birthday present. The woman was an animal afterward. Her scream shook the bedroom walls.”

  “Casey, you’re drifting,” Ben said on a laugh. “Pick a lane and stay in it.”

  “You’re bluffing,” Casey told him, narrowing his gaze when Jim shook his head and leaned back in the seat.

  “Yes, of course I am,” Jim agreed dryly, telling the truth, knowing it would never be believed. “You said the same thing when I told you about Lauren throwing me to the floor. Why bother asking me questions if you doubt my answers?”

  Jim went back to texting, grinning at his phone. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ben turn his face to window and fight not to laugh.

  “Look, Gallagher—if I don’t take home a story, I may not get sex for a week,” Casey said, his tone deadly serious. “Have a heart. I’m an addict to the woman I married. I cannot go that long without a fix.”

  “Hell, make something up then. That’s what you’re always accusing me of doing,” Jim declared with shrug.

  Ben burst out laughing then. “If you need some ideas, Carter—I could probably help you out,” he said with a grin.

  “Like you have a cannoli move of your own?” Casey demanded, giving Ben a glare.

  “No,” Ben said on a laugh, “I have something better.”

  “Yeah? What?” Casey asked, tired of an argument he was losing.

  Ben looked at Casey and shook his head. “I have a great imagination.” Then he proceeded to give not one, but several ideas about what to do with a cannoli and a hot woman.

  Jim let the cell phone fall to his lap in dismay. He should have known Regina wasn’t teasing. No wonder she married Kaiser, and just where the hell did he get his freaking imagination? He made a mental note to have lunch with Ben alone, and soon.

  Casey looked in the mirror at Jim’s shocked face, laughter bursting out of him. “Want to tell me your puny secret now, Gallagher?”

  “Pick one of Ben’s ideas,” Jim said, going back to his phone. “If you want, I’ll send them to you. I’m making a list in my phone.”

  Casey laughed and swerved again. Ben turned to the window and smiled.

  “Glad I could help, guys. Seriously, you know, I was married for twenty-five years. I’ve had more great sex than most men dream about,” Ben said with shrug. “It is good to be fifty and creative in bed.”

  Casey was quiet for a long while, then he looked back at Jim again.

  “So, Gallagher, say I wanted to buy the best cannoli in Falls Church? How close is the bakery to your house?”

  “Four blocks,” Jim said laughing, thinking Lauren was in for a surprise. “Let’s call it happy hour. I’m buying a round of cannoli for everyone.”

  Ben and Casey laughed, but Jim had already decided which of Ben’s ideas he was going to try first.

  *** *** ***

  “Lauren?” Jim asked, knocking on the bathroom door. “Are you okay? You’re not sick again are you? You should really talk to Regina about your stress level. If me being in your life is making you sick, maybe we need to postpone you moving in for a while.”

  “No. I’m fine,” Lauren called back, watching the single pink line appear on the stick with relief. A single line was good, but a double pink line would be bad. Now only six more days to go and she would know for sure. If she ever got a double pink line, she would definitely call the doctor and get really checked.

  She’d never taken a home pregnancy test before, but what she thought was so expensive had actually turned out to be a good deal after all. She hadn’t known she’d bought a bonus box. After hastily reading what to do, she had ditched the container in the bathroom at Luci
nda’s and shoved the sticks in her purse. It wouldn’t be good for Jim to accidentally find the box in the trash. She didn’t really want to talk about it until she was sure.

  Lauren happily wrapped the plastic stick and it’s one pink line in toilet tissue before burying it in the bottom of her trash can.

  She opened the bathroom door with a smile. Seeing Jim in her bedroom, wearing nothing but his boxers was still a shock to her system, but a good one.

  “What do I smell? Is that dessert—is that cannoli?” she whispered excitedly, walking over to sit by the tray on the bed, sighing at the pleasure feast waiting there. “You are so my hero. Alexa and Regina made fun of me being so hungry at dinner, so I didn’t bother with dessert.”

  Jim pushed her back on the bed until she was lying beside the tray, laughing up into his face. “You know I would cover you in diamonds, expensive clothes, and whatever the hell else you wanted, don’t you? Would you ever respond to any of those things with the same amount of desire you seem to have for the cannoli?”

  Lauren laughed. “There’s only one thing you could ever offer me better than cannoli,” she said, stroking his growing erection through his clothes. “But I still want dessert afterwards.”

  Jim fell on her with a groan, her stroking hand driving what he had planned to do to her completely out of his mind.

  “You can have anything you want,” he told her, meaning every word.

  “Great. Tell me what Ben suggested to do with the cannoli,” Lauren said in a whisper against his ear, feeling his rumbling laughter in her entire body.

  “Let me guess,” Jim said on a laugh. “He sent Regina a text, didn’t he?”

  Lauren snorted beneath him. He yanked her nightgown up and stroked two fingers inside her while she laughed. “You’ve foiled my master seduction plan. Now you have to pay. No foreplay for you tonight.”

  “Role playing? I love role playing. Are we pretending to be spies?” Lauren asked, delighted with his laughter, delighted with what he was doing. Because of his fingers, she could barely hear the cannoli calling her name any more. Dessert later, she thought dizzily, pushing the tray to the side of her king bed with the hand not stroking him.