Substitute Starlet

by Marie Kelly

  Pulling himself together, aware as others waited impatiently to move down the line, he managed to give her a half-smile. “Hello Tara”, his tone cold before pulling his hand back and continuing down the line.

  As Ross and Susan also greeted Logan they threw her looks of concern, both now knowing exactly what had been wrong with her during the meal.

  Later as the band started, Susan and Ross made their way to her. “We are so sorry Tara. We had no idea”, their eyes full of upset at having caused her such distress.

  Giving them both wide smiles, ones which she hoped would at least be convincing, she shook her head. “Please... it’s OK. It’s been a long time – I’m fine.” While neither actually commented she was aware as the new husband and wife looked at each other disbelievingly. Tara reaching deep within to pull out a smile. “Besides... It is not as if I will see much of him in this crowd.”

  Ross pulled her in for a hug whispering gently into her ear, “That’s the spirit. If that jerk didn’t know what he had, then forget him.”

  Tara gave him a shaky smile as she nodded. “Exactly”, her voice lacking conviction.

  The party had been a huge success, and Tara had been pulled onto the dance floor continuously all evening, many of the major celebrities making passes at her, as she cheerfully declined all offers while still maintaining a friendly air.

  At all times she was aware of where Logan was, his date draping herself over him as they danced, Tara also noticing how drunk the woman became as the night went on, seeing the way Logan looked so annoyed. This gave her little satisfaction, her insides shriveling a little more with each cold look he would occasionally throw her way.

  Prior to Susan and Ross leaving, he had walked his date to the exit, returning to the party moments later having deposited her in a taxi Tara assumed, surprised and more than a little disappointed that he did not accompany her home. He was soon surrounded by beautiful women who leapt at the opportunity to get the gorgeous man on his own, Logan taking turns at dancing with many of them. Tara felt disgust at his cavalier womanising – poor women. She had hardly left the building than he was moving on to the next one, bitterness eating at her as she tried hard to convince herself that she was not jealous.

  “We are off.”

  Susan’s voice made her jump as she whipped around smiling, “Let me make sure you get off safely”, she chuckled as together, the three of them moved to the exit. Secretly she was happy that finally she too could escape from the party. Being forced to watch the man she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt she was still in love with was tearing her apart second by second, piece by piece.

  Hugging the two she smiled, so happy that they were married, knowing that Ross would always look out for Susan and keep her on the straight and narrow. She waved furiously as the two were whisked away for their honeymoon, the location a secret to everybody except Tara.

  Sighing softly as the car disappeared from view, she fished her mobile phone from her clutch bag, preparing to call a taxi to take her back to Susan and Ross’s apartment, knowing that the two were booked into a five star honeymoon suite before their flight the following day. As she began pressing in the number from the card she had been given out, she gave a surprised squeal. With no warning she was grabbed by the elbow, her eyes flying wide with disbelief as she saw Logan propelling her forward towards the elevator, moving quickly into it as she struggled with him demanding to know what he was doing. Silently he punched in a floor number. As the doors closed he pulled her around to look at him, anger deep within his eyes, Tara staring in confusion.

  “What do you think you are doing?”, she finally cried out, her voice higher than she expected.

  “We need to talk”, he bit out, Tara feeling as the tears welled up in her eyes.

  “No, we really don’t. You said everything you needed to two months ago,” giving a small humourless half-laugh. “In one of these I believe.”

  Turning once more from her she could see as his jaw clenched, his attention focused on the progress of the elevator, his mouth clamping shut. Only as the elevator pinged had he once more grabbed her elbow as the doors opened, moving quickly along the corridor as she struggled against him. “You can’t do this Logan. You can’t just kidnap me!”

  Looking quickly at her as he fished in his pocket for his room key he bit out, “I have no intention of having this conversation in front of a room full of strangers”, pulling her with him into the room before finally releasing her.

  Looking around herself, Tara felt nervous, her eyes drawn to the large bed, shuddering at the last time so long ago that they had been alone in a bedroom, her arms moving defensively around herself as she tried to stop herself shaking.

  Logan stood watching as she looked down, her long hair pulled up, curls playfully falling against her beautiful face. The cocktail dress she wore showed off her wonderful curves, Logan feeling his desire for her rising as he ran his hand along his mouth. Now that he had her alone he had no idea what to say, wondering what the hell he had been thinking of.

  Seeing her ready to call a taxi to once more leave him had filled him with desperation and anger, having her in the elevator before he really knew what he was doing. Not once during the night had she approached him, or even tried to talk to him, this both infuriating and hurting him. Admittedly, having Sandra with him might have deterred her, Logan quickly regretting bringing the model with him, his decision to do so one made in the heat of the moment. He had wanted to show Tara James that he was well and truly over her.

  Yeah right. He had never forgotten her. The past months had been hell. When he was at his lowest, he had tried to forget her with a heroic number of women, each and every one never making it past dinner. In the two months they had parted, he had not found one single woman who tempted him to take her to bed, instead taking each and every one home early, having to deal with an ever-growing number of tantrums and pouting women. He was tired of it.

  As though she read his thoughts she flicked a look around as though looking for somebody. “Where is your girlfriend?” Logan frowned. “She was not my girlfriend, and she has gone home.”

  Giving him a contemptuous look she continued, “So in the condition she was in you put her in a taxi?”

  Logan gave an annoyed sigh “No, I would not do that. Her roommate picked her up. Seemed safer”, a smug smile lighting his mouth, “Nice to know you were keeping an eye on her. Or was that me?”

  Tara wanted to kick herself at her bitchy comment, gritting her teeth. “What do you want Logan? I have plans and I would just like to go. I would just really like to get away from you.”

  He stepped closer, a dark look on his features. “Wow, aren’t you just the cool one?”, his tone clipped as she looked nervously up at him, a strange expression on his handsome face.

  “Two months ago you walked out on me”, raising his hand as she opened her mouth to argue, her eyes widening in disbelief at his interpretation of the events. “You hit me with the fact that you and your sister had been using me and then you returned to your nice little life in the UK without so much as a second thought to me”, his voice faltering slightly. “Do you have any idea what you did to me Tara, how much you hurt me?”

  Looking back at him, she saw the pain in his eyes as she fought to keep her hand from touching his cheek, hearing as his voice broke. “You come back here, looking so... You, and you act as if nothing happened, flirting your way around the room with every man down there. How damn heartless are you?”

  Tara shook her head furiously, a growl leaving her. “What!”, the word exploding from her. “Me! You were the one doing the flirting”, her hands resting on her hips as she glared at him. “It was my duty to dance with guests… But YOU… You just made it your mission for the night to go through every single female in the room. So don’t you DARE have a go at me… You… You…”, her hand flailing as she struggled for the word, “Man!”

  Logan groaned. He missed this. He missed the fire in her, the way she d
id not take any of his crap. He missed how drop-dead gorgeous she was without really being aware of it, her eyes blazing with fury. For two long months no woman had come close to arousing him, now his body was so aroused it hurt. But he could not forgive her. Could not forget what she had done, his voice strained. “You used me then left without a single attempt to contact me. I never even had a chance to get you out of my system. You have been stuck in my head for months… You have haunted me.”

  Across from him the anger drained from her as quickly as it flared up, sorrow deep in the depths of her lovely eyes. “No… You have no idea. You SENT me away, I didn’t want to go, but you said that you wanted nothing more to do with me. You made it clear if I tried to contact you, you would fire Susan.”

  Her expression had been one of complete misery as she held his look. “I wanted to tell you. I was going to tell you but you wouldn’t even talk to me”, Logan raising his head, a sound of disbelief leaving him, “Of course you were”, his tone full of sarcasm. “I am sure that you were falling over yourself to tell me the truth.”

  Tara felt as the hurt filled her, not fully believing that she was where she was, her whole being wanting to fall into his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”, she whispered feeling as the tears rose to her eyes spilling uncontrollably over her lids, Tara looking at her feet trying to hide her hurt. Why had he not left her alone, left her to her lonely misery?

  Logan cursed, moving closer to her, hooking his finger under her chin as he looked into her distraught features, his own eyes full of pain, though a softness to them now. “Please don’t cry”, he whispered as she tried to pull her head away, he holding her tighter as his thumb brushed along her cheek, his other hand moving to cup her head as he leant forward, his tongue gently licking the salty tears that moved down her soft cheeks. “Please don’t cry Tara.”

  Tara shuddered at the touch of his tongue on her as she fell against him, her tears drying up as he angled her head to enable him to look deeply into her eyes. Both his hands held her head as his mouth dropped to brush against her lips, Tara’s eyes fluttering closed as her hands moved to grasp his shirt, pulling him in harder to her his mouth demanding more of hers as their kiss deepened. Tara lost control as she stood on tiptoes to move even harder against him, hearing the small masculine groan from him as his hands moved to grab her hips and haul her even closer against him. She felt the way his arousal dug into her belly, filling her with heat and need as she kissed him hungrily back.

  Even as he was pushing her up against the wall, her hands were pushing the jacket from him, clawing at the buttons on his shirt, desperate to feel his skin. He was no less busy, the zipper on the back of her dress slid down, the sleeveless cocktail dress dropping to the floor, her feet kicking it clear even as he began helping her to undress him. All the time the incendiary kiss held them together, neither willing to let the other go.

  Finally her breasts flattened against his chest, a shudder running through both, his head rising to look down at her, his eyes devouring every curve of her body. “I have dreamt of you Tara. Every time I close my eyes I see you”, his head moving closer to lick the lobe of her ear, his voice taut with barely-contained passion. “The smell of you, the touch of you. You have haunted me.”

  She groaned, the sound full of her own need and pain. He had haunted her no less, the memory of their time together constantly filling her every waking moment. Without him she felt like half of her was missing, the touch of him now seeming so right. She knew it could not last, but she wanted this time, wanted to hold onto this last taste of him. Like a drowning man she needed that last gulp of air, her head turning to once more claim his lips.

  She felt him unbuckle his belt, her womb clenching. A small glimmer of sense tried to bubble to the surface, her voice a hoarse whisper. “Logan. Stop… We shouldn’t”, her hands tentatively pushing him, even as she wanted so desperately to clutch him harder to her. His growl and hands grasping her wrists were his only response, as he pulled her arms over her head, one hand holding them as his other pushed her legs apart, her body growing rigid as his finger slid deep into her, her body so ready for him.

  He teased her until she felt she would go mad, keeping her on the edge of such pleasure before with a half-sob she begged him for more, pleaded with him, his head lifting. “Look at me.” His words washed over her, Tara letting her eyes flicker open, locking with his. What passed between them was pure need, the sound of his zipper rising above their breaths, the moment fraught with the sexual tension between the two.

  She was aware of him kicking off his shoes, his trousers like her dress kicked to some unknown part of the room. Then both his hands were moving around her, cupping her buttocks, lifting her, her arms wrapping around his neck. With her back against the wall, he thrust deep inside her, Tara crying out at the sudden penetration, shuddering as he paused, gulping to control his need to spill into her.

  Then he fastened his mouth once more on hers, her legs wrapping around him as he held her. There was no foreplay, no gentle lead in, his need for her raw, immediate, as he thrust up into her yielding body, time and again driving into her as she clung to him.

  Tara was right there with him, kissing him back with a wild wantonness which only this man could bring out. In his arms, her normally so organised and structured life was gone. He undid her. She moaned and clawed at him as he forced her against the unyielding wall, before she felt the all-too-familiar tingling, the sensation ripping through her as she climaxed in his arms. She was hardly aware as his hands squeezed her bottom, his thrusts coming harder and faster before he took one more, his body exploding in shimmering light and heady lightness, her name cried out from his stunned mouth.

  Logan felt like he had been hit by a truck, his body weak, his legs buckling as he let Tara slide once more to the ground, his arms needing to anchor himself as he leant against her, her hands still around him – clinging to him. Her mouth made small butterfly kisses along his jaw, each touch filling him with warmth.

  Finally able to raise his head, he looked down at her, this beautiful, wonderful woman. Pain once more slammed into him – this deceiving, using woman. He could see as she took in the change in him, her eyes filling with water, dropping from him as she tried to hide her hurt.

  Instantly, he lifted her chin, his head shaking, no words needing to be said as he walked backwards with her to the bed, his mouth kissing the corner of hers before pulling her down onto the large soft mattress. The past did not matter right now. They would have time to talk about it later, but right now what mattered was what was going on between them. They needed closure, they both needed to exorcise the need for the other. This was that time.

  For hours, the two would return to the other. Not once speaking, their mouths, hands and bodies bringing the other to such earth-shattering pleasure, both content to lie in the other’s arms after, the sexual afterglow never diminishing their need for the other. Only when total exhaustion made it impossible for either to raise even a smile did they finally fall into deep much-needed sleep. For the first time in two months, both slept well, neither disturbed with memories of the other which would pull them out of their much-needed rest. This time they slept soundly.

  Chapter Nine

  Waking the next morning, her eyes fluttered open, the sun spilling into the room still tinged with the red hue of dawn. Turning, she bit her lip to hold back the soft moan seeing Logan. Deep in sleep he looked rested and relaxed, his soft breathing the only sound in the large room.

  Tara wanted to run her finger along the lock of hair which slipped over his forehead, covering one closed eye, to push it to the side, knowing it would wake him. Pain ripped through her, tears making her eyes blur. What would she see when his eyes opened? When he realised what had happened, realised he had made such a terrible mistake. She could not handle seeing the contempt in his eyes, or worse.

  Her memory taunted her with his words, “I never even had a chance to get you out of my system. You have been
stuck in my head for months… You have haunted me.” Had last night been his way of expunging her from his system? Exorcising her from his head?

  Dashing away the tears which slid down her cheeks, she pushed from the bed. Best that she not be here when he did wake. She did not trust herself to blurt out how much she loved him, knowing that she was not strong enough to handle his rejection of her. He had his closure, and she should get back to her own world and her own life.

  Moving stealthily around the room, she retrieved her clothes, pulling them silently on before moving to the desk and writing a note for him. She had taken longer than was safe to put the words on the page, but finally she returned to the bed, her eyes drinking in every last detail of this man. From his broad shoulders, toned and lightly tanned and the dusting of dark hair which led down his flat stomach he was perfect to her.

  She fought with the desire to lean forward and kiss him, her heart breaking that she could not even do this before placing the note on her pillow. Then standing with a resolution she did not feel, she moved back out of the room, the tears flowing down her face.

  Reaching Susan and Ross’s apartment, she quickly changed, packing. It was time to go. There was nothing here for her, no reason to stay any longer. Picking up the phone, she managed to change her return ticket for the first available flight that day. She knew that her sister and Ross would be flying out on their honeymoon that day too, therefore, there was nobody to worry about her, her mind once more flashing up an image of Logan, her mouth curling unhappily. No, certainly not him.