Billy

by Donna Joy Usher

  ***

  Bruce was waiting when I got home. He leaned back in a foldout chair with his head resting against my door. A newspaper rested on his lap.

  I ignored the newspaper. ‘You brought your own chair?’

  He opened his eyes and looked at me. ‘Didn’t know how long you would be.’

  ‘I was at Mum’s.’

  He nodded. ‘Yeah, she told me you were coming over. She also told me to get a paper.’ His face lit up as he waved it at me.

  ‘Yeah, yeah.’ I grabbed the paper off him. ‘I don’t know what all the hoo-ha is about. Anybody would have done the same.’

  He stood and folded the chair, backing away to allow me to open the door. ‘You honestly believe that, don’t you?’

  I stopped in the process of turning the key. ‘I don’t think it, I know it. The only reason they’re making such a big fuss is cause I’m a girl.’

  ‘And that annoys you, why?’

  ‘I find it condescending.’ I screwed my face up while I tried to put my emotions into words. ‘It’s like I’m being rewarded just for doing what’s expected of a guy. As if I don’t normally do my job as well as a man.’

  He stared at me for a moment before saying, ‘You have the weirdest way of looking at the world.’

  I stuck my tongue out at him and finished opening the door.

  Cocoa stood on his hind legs, bouncing up and down until Bruce picked him up. ‘I swear he is becoming more of a sook,’ Bruce said.

  ‘Don’t I know it.’ I unlocked the door and pushed it open. Bruce followed me into the apartment. ‘Want a coffee?’

  ‘Thanks.’ He grabbed the kettle, filled it up and put it on to boil while I got the mugs down.

  ‘Who’s watching the club?’

  ‘Bianca.’

  I spooned coffee into the mugs and got the milk out.

  We didn’t speak again till we were seated on the couch with our coffees. He may have started the conversation with the stupid newspaper article, but I doubted that was why he had set up camp outside my door.

  ‘How bad is it?’ he asked. He bent and lifted Cocoa onto the couch. My little furball immediately climbed into my lap.

  I smiled. It was nice not to be chastised for my poor behaviour over the last couple of days. ‘I’m not sure. All I know is that the Superintendent asked him to do a job. I don’t know what it is or how long it’s going to take.’ I paused and took a sip of my coffee. ‘I just know, though, that I need to find him. That he will need my help.’

  I thought he might ridicule me and tell me to stay out of it like all the other men in my life. But Bruce was not like all the other men in my life.

  ‘You should never mess with a woman’s intuition.’ He reached across and took my hand.

  I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘For not telling you sooner.’

  ‘Sometimes you’ve got to take time to process stuff.’ He shrugged. ‘I get that. So for now the story is that he’s sick?’

  ‘Yeah.’ I nodded.

  ‘Have you got any plans on how you will find him?’

  ‘No.’ I picked at a sharp nail on my left hand. ‘But I have a feeling that if I just put myself out there, it will come to me.’

  ‘Why do you figure that?’

  I let out a slightly-crazed laugh. ‘Because it always has before.’

  There was a knock on the door. Bruce hopped up and opened it and Martine, in her pole dancing dress, bustled in. I counted at least three different coloured feather boas wrapped around her neck.

  ‘What did I miss?’

  I raised my eyebrows at Bruce.

  ‘What?’ he said. ‘You know you were going to tell her anyway.’

  ‘Coffee?’ I asked her.

  ‘Do you have any green tea?’

  ‘Green tea? Since when did you start drinking that?’

  ‘Oh, well.’ She tugged on one end of a feather boa. ‘Caffeine’s not that great for you, apparently.’

  I dug around in my tiny pantry, finally emerging with a box of green tea I had bought months ago when I had been having trouble sleeping. I’d had one bag and then given it up as a bad idea.

  Bruce was doing an admirable job of filling Martine in, so I popped one into a mug and put the kettle back on to boil.

  ‘Oh, she’s right,’ Martine said. ‘She’s a total shit magnet. It will come to her.’ She turned to me. ‘So you think he’s close?’

  I paused to think. I hadn’t really considered the fact that he might not be in Sydney any more. ‘I think he’s close,’ I finally said. ‘Why else would Trent tell me to stay out of it?’

  Martine nodded. ‘What are you going to do?’

  ‘I’m on nights tomorrow and the next day, so the most I can do in uniform is keep my eyes open. But after that I’ll start visiting some of the shadier clubs in the area.’

  ‘I’ll come with you.’

  I bit my bottom lip and tried to think of a polite way to dissuade her. A six foot drag queen would stand out like a sore thumb. I was going to need to be inconspicuous.

  There was another knock on the door.

  I looked at Bruce. ‘Did you tell anyone else?’

  ‘Of course not.’ He placed his hand over his heart.

  ‘Who could it…?’ Billy. Maybe he’d lost his key.

  I flew to the door. Yanking it open just as…. ‘Nick?’

  My four foot eight sidekick had his clenched fist raised to knock on the door again.

  ‘Who did you think it would be?’ He pushed past me into the flat, towing a suitcase behind him. ‘Santa?’

  ‘Nicky?’ Martine let out a shriek and launched herself at the little man. She picked him up in a hug and shook him from side to side.

  ‘Put…me…down…you over-sized canary,’ he said as he beat at her with his fists.

  She put him down and smoothed down his jumper with her hands. ‘It’s so good to see you.’

  ‘Pftttt. Thwwww.’ Nick spat a couple of feathers out of his mouth. ‘Oh, look what you’ve done.’ He gestured towards his feather-covered jumper. ‘I look like I’ve been in a drive-by pillow attack.’

  It was unfortunate that he said the word attack at the same time that he threw his arms out.

  Cocoa, who had been observing the newcomer with cocked ears and an uncertain tail, leapt into action.

  His ears went back, his lip curled up and, with a ferocious growl, he launched himself off the couch.

  ‘No,’ I shrieked as his teeth snapped onto Nick’s arm.

  ‘Eeeeeeeeeeeh.’ Nick whirled on the spot and Cocoa hung on, streaming out like a chair swing ride at the local fair.

  I made a grab for Cocoa and missed. ‘Stop,’ I yelled.

  ‘Get this vicious animal off me,’ Nick screamed.

  ‘He’s not vicious.’ I made another grab for Cocoa. ‘You need to stop so I can give him the command.’

  ‘Arghhhhhhhh. He’s killing me.’

  This time I managed to catch Cocoa. ‘Release,’ I shrieked as the momentum of Nick’s arm carried me around. Cocoa let go and, still holding onto him, I flew across the room and crashed into the door.

  ‘Oh baby.’ I pulled at his beard to check his mouth. ‘Are you okay?’

  He waved his tail and licked my face but I couldn’t be sure he wasn’t putting on a brave face.

  ‘Is he okay? Is HE okay?’ Nick held his arm out. ‘Look what he did to my jumper.’ A hole the size of Cocoa’s mouth gaped in the bottom half of Nick’s sleeve.

  Martine tugged at it, poking her finger through and feeling around. ‘He didn’t even scratch you,’ she said.

  ‘Oh, and that makes it okay? You are so sizist.’ He stumped over to the couch and sat down.

  ‘Hi.’ Bruce held his hand out. ‘I’m Bruce.’

  Nick took his hand. ‘Nick,’ he said.

  I climbed to my feet and carried Cocoa back to the couch.

  ‘Don’t bring that animal near me.’ Nick waved his hands at me.

  ‘Oh, please.’ I
sat down on the other side of Bruce and examined Cocoa’s face. ‘It was all your fault.’

  ‘My fault? My fault?’ His voice climbed an octave.

  ‘You told him to attack.’

  ‘Exactly when did I do that?’ He folded his arms across his chest.

  ‘Durrrr,’ I said. ‘You don’t go throwing your arms out in front of a police-trained dog and yelling attack.’

  ‘I…What…How….’ His jaw moved up and down a few more times but no sound came out. ‘Police trained?’

  ‘You did say attack,’ Martine said.

  ‘Oh, of course you’d take the dog’s side,’ Nick said.

  ‘Exactly what is that meant to mean?’ Martine huffed in a big breath of air and put her hands on her hips.

  Nick poked his tongue out at her and she responded in like.

  ‘Is it always like this?’ Bruce asked.

  I shrugged. ‘Pretty much.’

  ‘Oh goodie.’ He clapped his hands together. ‘This is going to be fun.’

  ‘Nick.’ I took my finger out of Cocoa’s mouth. I wasn’t sure how many teeth there were meant to be, but none seemed to be missing. ‘What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you,’ I threw in before he could take offence.

  ‘Billy rang. Said you needed a babysitter.’

  ‘He what?’ I peered around Bruce at Nick.

  ‘Yeah, he rang me yesterday morning and asked is I was doing anything. Then he said that the package I had looked after last time, needed to be watched again.’

  I knew my mouth was open but I couldn’t seem to get it to shut again. Billy had asked Nick to come and guard me?

  ‘Anyways, I wasn’t doing anything else so I decided to come for a visit.’

  ‘What about work?’

  He shrugged and stuck out his bottom lip. ‘Somebody found out I wasn’t five foot.’

  ‘Oh,’ I said. ‘I’m so sorry. You were a great police officer.’

  He lowered his eyebrows and peered at me sideways, no doubt to see if I was taking the piss out of him. ‘One door closes and another opens.’

  ‘Am I the door?’ I asked.

  ‘What? No. I’m waiting for my Private Investigator’s Licence to come through.’ He picked some feathers off the front of his jumper and dropped them on the rug. ‘Anybody going to offer me a coffee?’

  ‘I’ll get it.’ Martine hopped up and put the jug on again. ‘I haven’t had my green tea yet.’ She looked over at Nick. ‘You sure you want coffee? You know drinking caffeine at this time of night has been shown to give you disturbed sleep patterns.’

  ‘Not me,’ Nick said. ‘I sleep like a baby.’ He looked around. ‘Speaking of sleeping, which way is my bed?’

  ‘Hmmmm.’ I looked at my nails. ‘You’re sitting on it.’

  He looked down at the couch. ‘What? No way. I’ve come all this way to look after you, no way I’m on the couch.’

  ‘I didn’t ask you to.’ I crossed my arms.

  ‘And what with the trauma of being attacked by your vicious dog….’ He raised his eyebrows at me.

  ‘You wouldn’t dare.’

  ‘Just try me, Doll Face.’

  I stared at him for a few seconds longer. ‘Oh fine,’ I spat out.

  A night on the couch wasn’t going to kill me. I was going to be on nights for the next couple of evenings anyway. And we could re-have this conversation after that.

  I stomped up the stairs and grabbed a pillow, my nightie and Cocoa’s bed. Then I took down the spare doona from the top of my wardrobe and stomped back down again.

  Nick wore a triumphant smile. I would let him have his petty victory for now.

  ‘Here you go,’ Martine held a mug out to Nick.

  ‘Thanks, Big Bird.’

  Martine looked like she was considering pouring the coffee over his head, but then she took a deep breath, pasted a saccharine smile on her face, and handed it to him.

  Bruce looked at his watch. ‘I’d better head home,’ he said. ‘Got to do a stocktake tomorrow.’

  ‘Thanks for coming.’ I hugged him and then opened the door. ‘You’re the best gay friend a girl could ask for.’

  He pinched my cheek and ruffled my hair. ‘And don’t you forget it.’

  Martine stayed for a little longer, sipping her green tea out of a cup she held with her thumb and first finger. She led her little finger out to the side as if trying to be daintier.

  ‘Did you ever see that nurse from Hamilton Island again?’ I asked.

  ‘Nah.’ Nick drained the last of his coffee and put the mug on the table. ‘Didn’t want to break her heart so I never rang.’

  ‘Break her heart? Exactly how were you planning on doing that?’

  ‘Well you know, I’m a bit of a stud.’

  Green tea spurted out of Martine’s mouth as she barked out a laugh.

  Nick crossed his arms and turned to look at her.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘Just thought of something really funny that had nothing to do what-so-ever with what you just said.’

  ‘Hmmphhhh.’ Nick turned back to me, angling himself so that Martine was looking more at his back than his side.

  ‘Anyway it was just never going to work. Women can’t get enough of me and sooner or later her jealousy would have driven us apart.’

  ‘That’s a pretty big assumption,’ I said.

  He leaned back in the couch and placed his arms behind his head. ‘Yeah, well, history does seem to repeat itself.’

  Martine stood and placed her cup on the sink. ‘Got to go get some beauty sleep,’ she said.

  ‘Big Bird,’ Nick said, ‘even if you slept as long as Snow White you still wouldn’t be beautiful.’

  Martine crossed her arms. ‘I take back what I said about it being good to see you.’ She tossed her feather boas back over one shoulder and spun towards the door. ‘Chat tomorrow, Chanel.’ She blew me a kiss and then exited the apartment, shutting the door a tiny bit harder than was her norm.

  ‘Anything you want to share?’ I raised my eyebrows and looked at Nick. ‘I mean that was pretty mean, even for you.’

  He sunk lower into the couch but didn’t say anything.

  ‘Okay. Well, I’m going to have a shower and then I’m off to bed. Your bedroom is up the stairs. I’ll see you in the morning.’

  I headed into the bathroom, had a shower and climbed into my nightie. Nick was upstairs by the time I came out. I could hear him throwing my pillows onto the floor.

  ‘Night, Nick,’ I called out.

  He gave me a grunt in return which I took for a sleep well.

  I put my pillow on the couch and lay down, pulling the doona over me. Cocoa, confused by the change in sleeping arrangements, stood looking between me and the stairs. But then he let out a huff and jumped up onto the couch, turning around a few times before settling with his head on my feet.

  The couch was more comfortable than I had expected, and I was soon sound asleep.

  5

  The Exorcist

  I woke to the sound of the kettle boiling and someone bustling around in the kitchen. I could smell cooking bacon and…, I flared my nostrils and breathed in deeply, mushrooms. I am sure there would be eggs there as well.

  ‘Billy?’ I opened my eyes and turned towards the kitchen.

  ‘Nah,’ Nick said. ‘Sorry, Princess. It’s just me.’

  ‘Oh.’ I tried to hide my disappointment but tears trembled on my lashes. I lay back down and put my forearm over my face.

  ‘Here. This might help.’ Nick nudged my feet till I removed my forearm and looked at him. He held a coffee mug in his hand. ‘White and one, right?’

  ‘Thanks.’ I sat up and took it from him. ‘You have a good memory.’

  His face twisted and coloured a little and then he said, ‘I’d love to claim that I care that much, but I don’t. Billy reminded me that the package likes coffee first thing in the morning, white and one, and that it likes bacon and mushroom with its eggs.’

&n
bsp; ‘Really?’ I tried out a smile. It was tremulous, but it stuck. It was nice to know that Billy hadn’t just run off without a thought to me and my mental health. That he had rung Nick and asked him to come to me, well…it meant a lot. It meant he cared.

  The fact that he hadn’t just rung me himself, well, that meant that the danger was real. He was worried about not only having his cover blown, but about them finding out about me and using me against him. He was worried about them killing me.

  Strangely, that thought didn’t worry me as much as it should. Maybe the whole people-wanting-to-kill-me thing was getting old. Or maybe it was because I was more worried about Billy than I was about me.

  ‘Here you go, sunny side up.’ Nick slid my breakfast onto a plate and put it onto the coffee table with a knife and fork. Cocoa immediately took up residence next to the coffee table, staring hopefully up at my plate.

  Nick grabbed his and sat on the other couch. While we ate, I filled him in on where Billy was. He grunted more than spoke, which was fine by me. The less of Nick’s teeth I saw while he was eating the better. The food didn’t always disappear when he swallowed and I could see a good amount of eggy goodness caked on the front of his false teeth.

  ‘Thank you,’ I said when I had finished. ‘That was just what I needed.’

  ‘Yeah, well, don’t expect breakfast in bed every morning.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t.’ I handed my bacon rind to Cocoa and put my plate back on the table. ‘So, what brought it on this morning?’

  He opened his mouth to say something flippant, no doubt, and then jammed it shut again. His face reddened for the second time that morning. ‘Well, I kind of feel bad about what I said to Martine last night.’

  ‘Huh. So did you want to talk about why you were that rude?’

  ‘Well, she laughed at me and that made me mad.’

  I cocked my head to the side and stared at him. I was sure that wasn’t it.

  He picked up one of the cushions and plucked at the zip. ‘Well, maybe it wasn’t just that.’ He undid the zip a few centimetres and then zipped it back up. ‘It was when you asked me about Susie.’

  ‘The nurse?’

  ‘Yeah.’ The slide flicked back and forth on the chain of the zip. ‘Well, the thing is, we did kind of date.’