From This Day Forward

by Ketley Allison

  “One of my lab partners is having a birthday blowout,” she continued. “Or wanting to, anyway. Their planner double-booked and since Ming’s the cheaper client, she got shafted. I gave her your name, figured you could add this to your resume.”

  “Ming Cho?” Spence asked. “I know her.”

  I squinted at him, but his innocent expression hinted at nothing. But I perked up as Jade’s words sunk in. “And she agreed to talk to me?”

  “Her dad’s some honcho in China, willing to fund the entire thing including the best planners in the city, but when I spoke of you and how awesome you were, Ming decided to take the chance and meet with you.”

  “Jade, that’s awesome! And…entirely unlikely. I’m no one. Why would she ever—”

  “Hey now,” Jade said. “Don’t do that. You single handedly decorated our entire apartment—including Becca’s vomit room, might I add—in four days.”

  “That’s different. It’s decorating for friends, not putting together a professional party.”

  “And,” she continued, nonplussed, “Are you or are you not currently studying to run your own dream?”

  Spence cocked his head.

  “Well…yeah,” I said.

  “Babe, I know your taste. I know your talent. All you need is a jumping off point to prove to everyone else you have what it takes. Of course I recommended you to Ming. At a discount,” she added.

  “Why isn’t she going with another professional planner?”

  Jade cocked a hip. “Okay, so I maybe promised her completed lab work for the next month, but c’mon Emme! This is an amazing opportunity.” She said the last part so fast I nearly missed it, “And all the greats are entirely booked.”

  I mm’d in agreement. Most planners required at least six months advanced notice. And this was…well, this was an opportunity wrapped in a big red bow with a card in all-caps saying YOU BETTER NOT FUCK THIS UP, EMME.

  “I texted you all her info,” Jade said. “So let me know how it goes. And make sure to feature me in all your testimonials when you’re a famous planner for the stars.”

  “Jade.” I stood and heaved her into a huge hug. “You’re the best. I can’t thank you enough.”

  She let out a labored laugh. “Okay. Breathing. Important.”

  I released her and fell back into my chair, my smile spanning as wide as this over-crowded room. Beaming at Spence, I resisted rubbing my hands in glee. His smile in return was slow, but genuine. Like he was regarding me in some unique way, whose meaning was only known to him.

  “I’ll see you tonight,” Jade said as she turned for the door and waved. “Nice meeting you, Spence—oh! You should totally come to zombie night on Thursday.”

  Dearest Jade. Her successful match-making today could only be allowed to go so far.

  I scoffed and waved her away. “As if Spence would want to—”

  “Count me in,” he said. This time, he turned up the wattage to rival my beam.

  “Done!” Jade said, and suddenly I was surrounded by mutant smiles. “Emme can give you the info. See you guys!”

  “You like zombies?” I asked him once Jade left.

  “Nothing against them, but I seem to enjoy nights with you more,” he responded, and all the coffee in my gut turned into espresso-flavored jello.

  I shrugged and looked at him sideways. “They seem to be pretty good so far.”

  “What’s this about planning a birthday?”

  The question startled me out of flirt-mode into humble pie. “Oh, that. It’s sort of my dream to be an event planner of sorts.”

  “So that’s what your business major is going towards, then. Running your own event company.”

  “Yep.” I held both hands around my empty cup, wishing it still had the caffeinated warmth I craved. “You should’ve seen my parties as a kid. My mom gave up as soon as my six-year-old self created a scrapbook of color schemes for my Sprinkles party.”

  “Sprinkles…party?”

  “Your face, right there, is exactly how Mom looked. You know, sprinkles! White balloons filled with rainbow confetti, multi-colored sparklers, layered cake, neon sprinkles all over the place. You’d be amazed at what you could do with—” I stopped, realizing Spence was staring at me too closely, like maybe he was mentally taking a step back from the raven-haired girl across from him touting the creative amazingness of rainbow sprinkles.

  “I’ll be right back,” Spence said, and my stomach sank. Perhaps my simple passion of themes and parties were too juvenile for the law school bound, justice-driven Spencer Rolfe. We were probably better as the fuck buddies he proposed we’d be, and I was naive to think I could connect with him on a level that might hurt him. Happy memories, childhood parties…he probably had none of that. God, I was an idiot.

  “But when I get back,” he said as he rose, “I want to hear all about the birthdays you planned. And I’m assuming many other events throughout the years.”

  I offered a tentative smile. “Any holiday I came across, it acquired a theme.”

  Spence paused before turning, seeming to think before saying, “Usually I’m lecturing you on long-dead poets, but seeing you now, I like it.”

  “I’m glad,” I said, then dared to venture, “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear about such frivolous stuff. I mean, it’s stupid compared to—”

  “Are you kidding?” he said. “I’m no idiot. I know that shit takes a ton of effort and premeditation. Besides, this is something you love and I’m just learning about. Especially with the way you sucked all the passion in this room into your body and spilled it out to me in the span of a minute.” He angled his head. “In the form of rainbow confetti. Why wouldn’t I want to know that part of you?”

  I stared at him as if he’d just showed me he had supernatural powers. How was he real?

  “I’m gonna grab us two more cups, then you’re going to tell me all about how you came to New York. And hey.” He bent down and covered my hand with his. “Don’t you ever be ashamed of something you feel like you were born to do.”

  When he walked away, I was finally able to blink. I followed his form to the line at the back of the cafe, all the while thinking how much I’d lucked out with a guy who was actually interested in what I had to say, multi-colored candy and all. He’d listen intently, I knew, and ask all the good, probing questions that would have me blabbing deeply woven memories and even insecurities, all while making me feel like I was the most important person he’d ever spoken to.

  At that thought, as I watched Spence saunter up to the counter and place our order with the barista, I wished, so badly, that he would allow me to do the same with him.

  I studied my half-dressed, blurry self, peering closer at the chrome of the fridge. “I’m not wearing leather pants to zombie night.”

  “But you must,” Becca said, clapping after each syllable for effect. She was clad in a red and white checkered apron, an item I truly had no idea she owned, with her wild hair pulled up in a high pony-tail and secured by a red ribbon. There was the sneaking suspicion that she was channeling her own version of Betty Crocker as she finished putting together a cake to cap off the night.

  Though, let’s not be crazy here. The red velvet cake 100% came from a box.

  “She’s right,” Jade piped in, seated primly on a stool. We had a tiny two-top (that we turned into a three-top with an extra stool) shoved against the wall across from the fridge. “Look at dat ass.”

  “Nope.” I took—or, more like peeled—off the pants until I was back to being clad in a red g-string and bra. “I’ll be right back. I’m changing into something decent.”

  “Or you could just wear that,” Becca said. When she spun around, flour now coated her chin. “I feel like Spence would be fine with it. Though I’m not. There’s raw cake here. Be sanitary.”

  “Guys!” I regarded them, hands on my hips. “A night of brain-eating does not always equal sex.”

  Becca narrowed her eyes. “You said to me, and I qu
ote, ‘I totally told Spence I wanted to fuck him.’ And he agreed to it.” She lifted both hands, one holding a batter-soaked egg-beater. “So why not do it tonight? Jade and I will make ourselves scarce, swear.”

  Jade nodded, then reached over and swiped some batter onto her finger to taste. Our kitchen was that small. “Proud of you, babe.”

  “What the hell was I thinking?” I asked them. “It’s like some other Emme from a parallel universe took over my body and full-on propositioned him.”

  “Only you could make seduction sound like a nerd,” Becca said.

  “I mean it! Here I am, a girl with no experience—”

  “Didn’t you try anal with Trev?” Becca asked.

  Jade’s eyes went wide. “Dude.”

  “That’s the thing!” A hot creeping feeling was migrating from my chest to my neck, which is usually what happened when I got upset. My skin would betray me and I’d flush with a sunburn. “Everything I’ve done in the past—it’s been for one person. For him. Never because I craved it, or had this passionate, erotic dream of having a guy’s dick up my ass—”

  Jade cringed. “Just so I can make this clear, my butt is exit-only.”

  “It’s been what he wanted,” I continued. “And I’d go for it because I felt I should, to be a good girlfriend. To be a sexy woman. And if I didn’t, I felt like something was wrong with me.”

  “No one should make you feel like that,” Jade said. Then came the menace. “Ever.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “It’s in my past and it’ll stay there, but I know more now. I’m stronger. I feel different things, I…with Spence, it’s all these fantasies and wants and needs, things I didn’t know I could actually crave.”

  Becca put the bowl she’d been holding tight to her chest on the counter. “He’s making you feel like every person should before having sex.”

  “I want to throw him down, strip him, and do dirty things to him,” I said in a rush. “And I’ve never desired that before. It scares the shit out of me.”

  “Sex is meant to be free. Of judgment, inhibitions. If he’s the right guy, nothing you do will make him laugh or embarrass you,” Becca said.

  “What if he’s not the perfect guy?” I asked, and to my horror, my voice trembled. “And everything I’m thinking is a lie? I could be naked in front of him and do something that slips us up and totally disappoints him. Spence is a guy who’s slept with countless women, and I’m—”

  “Emme Beauregard, a bomb-ass woman who any man would be lucky to see in her underwear, never mind her birthday suit,” Jade cut in. “You can’t let any man make you feel less than a woman. Yes, there are jerks out there—we’ve all encountered one, some more naked than others, but there’s a reason they don’t stay in our lives. Because they suck.”

  Becca said, “You can’t go into this thinking you’ve already failed. It’s just a new chapter in your life. Explore it. Hell, have fun with it. Isn’t that what college is all about?”

  I managed a smile. “I could say the same for you.”

  Becca stiffened and I immediately thought I’d said the wrong thing, but she relaxed into a smile. “You might be right.”

  “If it feels right, do it,” Jade said, obliviously on point. “And if it doesn’t, then walk away. There’s no shame.”

  I pulled the two of them into a hug, and it was so awkward and flour-driven that were were all laughing and almost toppled into the tiny table we laughingly called our formal dining area.

  “Ow!”

  “Guys!”

  “Omigod, elbows, people.”

  “As much as it turns me on to hug you while you’re clad in a thong,” Becca’s muffled voice said into my hair. “You should get dressed. Spence will be here in like, five minutes.”

  “Crap!”

  I untangled limbs and sprinted into my room, trailing cake mix and sugar along the way.

  #

  When Spence arrived in a simple blue shirt and jeans, I was glad I didn’t listen to my two fairy godmothers and went with a hoodie and exercise shorts. But Becca, being true to form, did ensure that I at least had matching, lacy, cake batter-free underwear on underneath.

  Jade had already made the popcorn and crafted drinks (beer), so everything was set when I opened the door. I had no busywork to do, no way to dispel this nervous energy except to sit beside Spence on the couch, introduce him to Becca, and try not to hop up to clean and dust the living room.

  “What kind of movies do you guys watch on nights like these?” Spence asked politely, as if he were used evenings devoted specifically to live corpses.

  “I think tonight is reality-themed,” Jade said as she hopped over us to claim a spot at the other end of the couch. She handed Spence a beer on the way.

  “Apocalypse survival,” I explained.

  “No way,” Spence said, and the jump in his eyebrows led me to believe he was honestly interested. He made himself comfortable, his leg pressing into mine. Despite his denim, I felt the heat and I resisted the urge to nestle in.

  “I’ve been waiting all week for this,” Becca said as she plopped herself on the floor in front of the couch. She clicked through our DVR menu, stopping when she found the show she wanted. She turned to Spence. “Fair warning, there’s a serious quiz after this. Get anything wrong and you have to chug that half bottle of whiskey over there.”

  Spence laughed.

  “She’s not playing,” I said into Spence’s ear. “The bottle’s plastic. Quality stuff.”

  His smile vanished.

  Jade got the lights and soon we were immersed in what to do when the zombies attack and you’re in an urban landscape. I stifled a grin by stuffing more popcorn in my mouth when Spence’s arm creeped over my shoulders and pulled me closer. I covered a giggle when my fingers walked over to his and we were secretly holding hands under the popcorn bowl. Pretty positively, Jade and Becca were witnessing everything, but it was fun to play like we were in the movies in eighth grade sneaking moves on each other.

  When the forty-minute episode ended, I reluctantly untangled myself from Spence and readied to help with clean-up and any refreshers on beer.

  “You got another one we could watch?” Spence asked, surprising all of us—most of all, Becca.

  “You’re serious,” she said.

  “Uh oh,” Jade said.

  “I have three whole seasons,” Becca said before any of us could argue.

  “Cool.” Spence pulled me back to him, and I scooted in, inordinately pleased that Spence was making Becca happy. “Let’s watch a couple more before you quiz me. I want to make sure I’m fully up to snuff.”

  “I’m gonna get us more beers,” Jade said, and stood up in surrender. “Or possibly the whole bar.”

  #

  We watched four more episodes before Spence was fully satisfied with his undead knowledge. We’d each had at least three beers and two slices of cake, which meant we were entirely prepared for Becca’s onslaught of pre-thought-out questions that she’d taken the time to print and underline in red.

  Perched on our one armchair, glasses on and pen poised, Becca had us answer each question in succession. Her teacher-voice wavered the further we delved into it, mostly because Spence was getting every swerve she threw at him right. Jade and I were failing miserably as usual, but at least the whiskey bottle didn’t end up with me. Jade was the poor loser, and trooper that she was, she chugged about a third, made that cough-vomit noise, then retreated into her room. It took Becca about two seconds to realize she was alone with Spence and I at one o’clock in the morning, so she very obviously yawned and said, “Jeepers, I’m pooped. ‘Night guys.”

  In the span of a minute, the theme party had ended and the living room was silent, save for Spence's and my breathing.

  “Um,” I said, and clamped my lips together. What should I do? Say? I’d confidently propositioned him two days ago. He must be wondering where that Emme had gone.

  “This was fun,” Spence said, his arm s
lung over the back of the couch.

  He seemed relaxed and without a care in the world. Like if I leaned in for a kiss or not, he’d be good either way. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed by that.

  “I don’t think you understand what happened tonight,” I said.

  “No?”

  “You’ve now obtained a rare honor, bestowed by one Becca Reese, of acceptance.”

  Spence combed his fingers through his hair. It was the sexiest maneuver I’d ever seen. “You mean…I’m the Zombie King?”

  I batted him on the shoulder. “The fact that you got through four back-to-back episodes and she didn’t yell at you once, in addition to getting every one of her questions right, Becs didn’t see you coming. To shock and awe her is a feat.”

  Spence hooked my hand, bringing my fingers to his lips. I contained the shiver. “I like her, too.”

  And that was the thing. My friends liked Spence. In Becca’s case—adored. That hadn’t ever happened before. To have my best friends want to hang out with the guy I was into, it made me all gushy inside.

  “But not as much as I like you,” he said. My knuckles were still close enough to feel his exhaled words.

  It was a line. Spence knew it, I knew it, but it didn’t matter. His breath was warm on my skin. His scent curled around me like smoke. And all I wanted to do, all I’d ever wished for with him, was lean in and hold those lips against mine.

  Spence beat me to it.

  He rocked forward and my mouth molded against his like we’d always been carved that way. Spence’s arms came around me, mine dove around his shoulders and we deepened, fell, flat on the couch, his body covering mine, our lips never parting. His breath quickened—hot—his tongue like melted sundae chocolate, and I brought him in, my fingers twirling up his shirt, feeling the muscles constricting on his lower back, his hips grinding against mine, and suddenly, my shorts were no match for the hard, firm heat stroking between my legs.

  “Wait,” I said against his mouth. “W-wait.”

  He pulled back. “You okay?”

  Spence’s face was so close. I could see the jeweled flecks in his eyes, the stubble decorating his cheeks.