Breaking Braydon

by MK Harkins

  Jain’s different from those women.

  I punched my pillow again, groaning in frustration. These thoughts had been circulating around my brain all night. Why couldn’t I just forget about her? Her lips, that’s why. Every time I closed my eyes, I imagined kissing her. Slowly, thoroughly. I knew those lips would be soft and inviting. I could almost hear her moan with pleasure as we kissed and held each other close. Stop it! You’ll only hurt her. The women I bedded couldn’t be hurt. Their pride maybe – but they were tough as nails. Jain? I wasn’t so sure. From the small amount of time I’d spent with her, I sensed she was unique. Refreshing. I needed to stay away from her. I would only bring her trouble, and she’d bring me heartbreak. Instinctively, I knew both to be true. But could I stay away?

  TWELVE

  Jain

  It had been two long days since our meeting with BCD Funding – specifically Braydon. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. This was the first time since Jackson I’d felt anything other than complete disinterest in any man. Now, I felt like I was on fire. My body, as traitorous as it was, was in complete chaos. I tried to meditate my way out of it to no avail. My heart remained pounding while adrenaline sped currents of heat that spread throughout my system. I was anxious, nervous, and jumpy. A complete and total mess.

  I remembered my attraction to Jackson, and these new feelings weren’t even close to what I’d felt back then. Since that time, I’d done an excellent job of convincing myself I didn’t need or want anyone. My job was my life, almost the entire reason for my existence. I couldn’t allow these emotions to take control. I didn’t know the person I was becoming.

  My cell phone buzzed in my pocket, and I just about jumped out of my skin. I grabbed the offending phone while I lectured myself to calm down.

  I clicked it on and, with a strained voice, said, “Yeah?” There was a pause, and I heard his voice. Braydon. Great, now I was hearing things.

  “Is this Jain?” he said in his ultra-professional voice.

  Oh no, how did he get my number?

  “From Colin. I just talked to him.”

  Had I just said my thought out loud? “Wh-What do you want?” I stuttered.

  He chuckled. His voice – that sexy, smooth voice would be the death of me.

  “Nothing, Jain. I wanted to meet with you and Colin about some of the details regarding the event that’s coming up. Colin said he could meet at the Starbucks on Broadway tomorrow at ten am. Are you in? Can you make it?”

  Hell no, I’m not going.

  “Sure, that sounds good. I’d be happy to discuss the event tomorrow.”

  What in the world was wrong with me?

  “Um, Jain?” he asked.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Did I just say that out loud again?”

  Another deep chuckle. “No, I didn’t hear anything. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Great. Now I have to add chivalrous and a gentleman to his list of attributes. This was not good.

  “Okay, bye.” I clicked off as fast as I could.

  This would mean another night of sleep deprivation.

  ***

  I was right; I didn’t sleep more than two hours. I wasn’t sure if it was the thought of seeing Braydon again, or the fact I’d made a fool out of myself. I spent the night torn between excitement, nervousness, and complete humiliation. I’d been so frazzled by his phone call, I blurted out everything I was thinking. I never did that with anyone else. He short-circuited my brain. Now, I had to meet with him on a very limited amount of sleep. Good Lord, I wonder what would come out of my mouth next.

  I could do this, I told myself. I just had a little crush. That’s all this was. After I met with him, maybe I could get accustomed to his gorgeous and unbelievable good looks. Then I’d be fine.

  A knock at my door jarred me out of my pep talk. “Hey, let me in, sleepy head!” Colin’s voice came through loud and clear.

  I opened the door, turned my back, and walked to the coffee machine.

  “What happened to you? You look like hell,” Colin observed.

  “Thanks, friend. Who said you could give my number to Braydon anyway?” I was cranky, and I didn’t try to hide it.

  “Oh! That’s what this is all about. Did you go out with him last night? Is that why you look all rumpled and sleep deprived? Details. Give me details!” He clapped his hands in anticipation.

  “Back off, Colin.” I massaged my temples to avoid the looming headache. “No, I didn’t go out with him. He only called to set up a meeting with us today.”

  Colin’s shoulders sagged. “Oh.”

  “Don’t look so disappointed. I know you don’t like to believe gossip, but in this case, you’ve got to know, where there’s smoke, there’s fire. And this guy is smoking!”

  Colin burst out laughing.

  “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, he’s got to be guilty of something with the high volume of rumors floating around. Besides, you know we don’t have anything in common. His life is filled with social events, mine is immersed in a lab coat doing research.”

  “Before I met him, I was in total agreement with you. But I can’t get over the way he looked at you, Jain. It was like magic. You know, you’ve seen it in the movies. But this was real. I felt the electricity in the room. If someone described it to me, I wouldn’t have believed it. I think you should explore this. I’m sure you have some things in common.” He nodded, like that would convince me to his way of thinking.

  “No.”

  “Yes.”

  “No.”

  “Yes.”

  I crossed my arms. “I’m not going to sit here all day and argue with you. You already know I’m Scottish, so I win by genetics.”

  “Yes, I know you Scots are stubborn. I’m Irish, which means I’m charming. Charming trumps stubborn.” His grin was huge as he held up his arms in triumph.

  “Ugh! If I say you win, will you make the coffee? My head feels like it’s going to pound right out of my head.” I rubbed my temples again with no relief.

  “Sure. Sit down, and I’ll serve you as soon as I can get this baby to spit it out.” He fumbled with my new Keurig brewer.

  “Do you even know how it works?” I asked.

  He sorted through the coffee choices. “Yeah. You just put one of these coffee cup things in this contraption…” He tried pulling off the top of the machine.

  “Okay, Mr. Scientist. Move over. I won’t have you breaking my new coffeemaker. This thing cost a fortune.” I put my hands on his shoulders and moved him over to the side. “Would you like French or Italian roast?”

  He yawned. “I’ll take whatever is strongest.”

  I noticed for the first time he had bags under his eyes. “Hey. You look about as tired as I feel.” Here I was, only thinking about myself. A wave of guilt spread through my fuzzy mind.

  “It’s this whole funding process. As you know I’m in charge of fine tuning the business plan, but I’m worried I’ve missed something. If I don’t get it right, we’ll be in danger of losing our funding.” He rested his head on the island countertop.

  “Here.” I pushed a hot cup of coffee in front of him.

  “Bless you. You’re an angel.” He winked at me.

  I realized I’d been duped. “You know how to work a Keurig, don’t you?”

  “It worked didn’t it?”

  “I would have done it. You didn’t have to resort to trickery.”

  “It distracted you, didn’t it?” His mischievous grin confirmed his intentions.

  “Yes, it did. Do I look that awful?” I already knew the answer.

  “Yes, you still do. Quit thinking so much.” He sipped his coffee. “I know, I need to take my own advice, but it’s different. All the work we’ve done, all our research, depends on this business plan. All you have to worry about is one large, gorgeous man who has it bad for you. I wish I had that problem.”

  “Ha ha.” I grabbed my coffee and sat next to him. “He scares me, Coli
n.”

  “Ah, Jain. I’m sorry I’ve been teasing you about this. I know you must be scared. I’ll back off, but please, don’t let your experience at seventeen dictate your entire life.” His hand ran up and down my back, soothing me.

  “It wasn’t only Jackson. You know other things drive me, make me determined not to lose my focus.”

  I thought back to the last day my mother was alive. I wanted her to be able to die at home, but it wasn’t to be. She needed the doctors and nurses around twenty-four-seven in order to make her comfortable.

  Her disease was horrible, heartbreaking in the way she died. Sometimes, the flashbacks were so real, it was though I was living through her last moments myself.

  The white sterile walls of the hospital, the tubes, the respirator - it all made the experience difficult, more real. I hadn’t wanted to face it, her dying. I wanted to take her home and fix it. Fix her. I was only in my second year of college, but I was still frustrated that I couldn’t do anything for her.

  I wanted to hold her hand at home again, the home in which we’d pieced together a life of happiness, in spite of her disease. She often laughed, and rarely cried. She was the bravest person I knew.

  “I wish I could have met her. She must have been amazing.” As usual, Colin knew what I was referring to.

  “She would have loved you. Oh, the shopping spree you two would have enjoyed.” Happy tears filled my eyes as I remembered her love of all things beautiful… and purple. “She loved purple.” Why that popped out of my mouth, I had no idea.

  Instead of laughing at me, Colin reached over and held my hand.

  THIRTEEN

  Braydon

  Ahh, coffee – I gulped it down, enjoying the bold flavor as it hit my taste buds and slid down my throat. After three nights of restless sleep, I felt the shot of caffeine start to work its magic through my weary body. Today, I was meeting Colin and Jain for an informal discussion about the charity event at the Paramount Hotel coming up later this month. I wanted to go over the schedule and what they should expect. It was obvious they hadn’t attended an event of this magnitude. I didn’t want them to feel overwhelmed. Or at least, that’s what I told myself.

  It couldn’t be that I wanted to see Jain again outside of the boardroom. No, this meeting was necessary.

  The door jingled as Colin and Jain entered Starbucks. They purchased their drinks and scanned the room, skipping right over me. I wasn’t wearing a suit, so I blended in with everyone else. Finally, Jain’s eyes darted in my direction, widening once she recognized me. She nudged Colin, and they made their way over to my table.

  “Nice shirt, Braydon. Purple. I like it.” Colin remarked.

  What the hell? What was he insinuating with the remark about my shirt? I noticed Jain’s hands were clenched as her gaze stayed fixed on the floor. Her lips pinched together, as if she was trying to stop herself from speaking.

  “What?” Colin turned and smiled at me. “Jain and I were talking about the color purple earlier today. Isn’t that right, Jain? It appears you both like the color purple.”

  Jain crossed her arms and cleared her throat. “Colin, we aren’t here to talk about colors.” She turned to me. “I’m sorry, Mr. Decker. Shall we discuss the event?” Her large glasses and bangs covered most of her eyes, but from what I could see, she appeared angry at Colin, shooting him daggers, but he continued to smile, oblivious, or pretending to be unaware of her anger.

  “Please, call me Braydon.”

  “Okay.” At least now she was smiling.

  I felt something, like a twitch around the area of my chest. I rubbed it, hoping to ease my discomfort.

  “Are you feeling okay?” Colin asked. “I just remembered you’re getting over the flu.”

  “The flu?” The same symptoms I experienced at our first meeting were making an unwelcome return. Not again. “Oh, that. No, I’m fine. That was just something I ate.”

  “That’s good. Okay, let’s get started.” Jain took out a pen and pad from her purse, poised and ready to take notes.

  “Okay, the first thing you’ll need to—” I began to speak, but Colin interrupted.

  “Uh, Braydon? I think you’re bleeding.” He motioned toward my ankles.

  Damn. I should’ve worn socks.

  “My dog.” I shrugged then grabbed a few napkins off the table and dabbed off the blood.

  Colin leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed, studying me. “Tell me more.”

  “I own a Border Collie. They like to herd.” I air-quoted herd.

  “So let me get this straight. You own a dog that bites you?” For some reason, he didn’t look at me when he asked the question. He looked at Jain instead.

  “Well, he isn’t biting me, per se. It’s more of a nip.” Why were we having this conversation?

  “No, you two don’t have anything in common.” He laughed. Hard. In a matter of moments, he was wiping tears from his eyes. Jain had her eyes closed, shaking her head.

  “Did I miss something here?” My head swung back and forth, studying them for clues.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Decker…I mean, Braydon. Neither of us has had much sleep, and I think Colin’s feeling the effects. We should probably reschedule. I apologize.”

  Colin, still laughing, picked up his cup and said, “No! Don’t reschedule. I’m fine. I’ll be good.”

  Jain glared at Colin and replied, “If you’re sure.”

  Colin reached into his pocket, pulled out a vibrating phone, read the incoming number and said, “Got to take this. Be right back.” He got up from the table and headed toward the back of the coffee shop.

  “I’m so sorry about Colin. He’s a genius when it comes to research, but sometimes…”

  “Sometimes?” Just as the question left my lips Colin returned.

  “I’m sorry. I have to go into the office. One of the alarms went off in the lab, and I have to go check it out.”

  Jain reached for her sweater.

  “No, Jain, you stay. We need to get this information so we don’t look out of place when we attend the big event.” Colin winked at her as he gathered his coat and coffee.

  “Are you sure?” Her eyes bored into him.

  If I had to guess, I’d say Jain didn’t want to be alone with me.

  “Yes, I’m sure. I’ll see you later.” He turned to me, offering me his hand. “Braydon, I want to thank you again for this opportunity. You might know this already, but this means a lot to us, to everyone at Bastion Medical Research. We owe you; we won’t forget this.”

  “No problem,” I replied. Now, I felt a little uncomfortable. I always did whenever anyone praised me. I never felt like I deserved it.

  Once Colin left, there was an awkward silence. Avoiding eye contact, Jain studied the drink menu stuck on a metal placeholder in the middle of the table.

  “You were saying, Colin sometimes..?” I asked.

  Her gaze left the menu and moved up to meet my eyes. I felt the energy between us. I wanted to reach over and take her hand. I wanted to take all of her. Damn. I needed to get her out of my system.

  “I was hoping you’d forgotten that.” She smiled.

  God, when she smiled and looked at me like that, I was powerless. No. I had to take back control.

  “I’m going to be straight with you.” She tilted her head up, took a deep breath, and continued. “As you can probably tell, Colin and I are good friends.”

  I made sure not to speak, so I nodded my understanding.

  “We’ve been working together for years, and, for some reason, he thinks he knows me, knows what I need. But he’s wrong.” She shifted and straightened the collar on her shirt. “I’m just going to blurt this out. It’s quite funny, but Colin thinks there’s something between us.” She held her palm up. “Of course, that’s ridiculous! I mean, you and me?” She shook her head and laughed softly.

  The old feeling of rejection gnawed at me. Why would she think it was ridiculous? I knew my reputation was bad, but s
he didn’t even know me yet. I felt so drawn to her, wanting her. Didn’t she feel the same? I wasn’t sure why, but a deep sense of disappointment flooded my system. I told myself it didn’t matter. Perhaps I was having some mid-life crisis. That would explain all these foreign feelings for someone I barely knew. This wasn’t me. I felt a strong desire to leave, to get away from her. I wasn’t sure I could handle sitting across from her as she rejected me.

  She continued. “Anyway, he thinks we have some things in common.”

  “Why is that?” I wondered how Colin came to that conclusion so soon.

  “Well, for one, our pets.” She lifted the hem of her shirt and showed me some red scratch marks. “My cat, Nancy, likes to use me as a scratching post. I don’t think it’s a big deal, but Colin thinks I’m crazy for keeping her. Now, I’m sure you’ve been added to his ‘crazy’ list for your dog.” She giggled. Her face softened, and she looked different…younger.

  “What else do we have in common?” I liked seeing her relax.

  “You remember his comment about your shirt? By coincidence, we were just talking about how much my mother loved the color purple. I’m sure he thinks it’s some kind of sign.”

  “Why would he think that’s something we had in common? It’s your mom who loves the color.”

  “Loved. As in past tense.”

  Oh.

  “It’s okay; she died when I was nineteen. I’ve had a lot of time to adjust to her being gone. Colin refers to her as my guardian angel, so I’m sure he’ll make a big deal about you wearing purple today.” She grinned, “By the way, that is a nice color on you.”

  Her face flushed a little. I didn’t think she planned on complimenting my shirt. I smiled back and asked, “So, how about your dad? Are you close with him?”