Royal Savage

by Victoria Ashley

  He yanks my arms from his neck and backs away from me, gripping at his hair. “No, I’m not.”

  I rush over to the bed and yank the sheet off, wrapping it around my body as Royal heads for the door. “You are, dammit!”

  I follow him up the stairs, not willing to give up on him.

  “I need this,” he says when he reaches the front door. He stops and grips the door handle, but doesn’t turn to look at me. “I can’t fucking hurt you,” he says firmly. “I can never fucking be who you need or want me to be. I’m too fucked up!”

  He turns to look at me, and rushes over to grab my face when he sees the tears flowing down my face. “Don’t fucking cry. Please don’t cry. Fuck!” He brushes his face over mine, while gripping at my hair. “I need you to understand why I need to do this.”

  “No.” I grip his hands and push him away from me. “I can’t, because I don’t want you to leave me! I don’t want you to leave here. I need you!”

  He shakes his head and grips at his hair again, as he starts backing up toward the door. “I can’t be that right now. I don’t know if I ever can.”

  He runs his hand over his face, looks me in the eyes, and then walks over to kiss me. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I let everyone down. This will hurt the least . . . I promise.”

  With that, he turns and walks away, leaving me standing here in shock.

  I can’t move. I just stand here and stare at the door, as if he’s going to turn back around and run at me, pulling me back into his strong arms.

  He doesn’t . . .

  I finally force my legs to work and run out the door, just in time to see him pulling away.

  I run after the truck, screaming as the tears run down my face. “Don’t fucking leave,” I cry. “Please! Don’t leave me.”

  He’s already too far gone, and the reality starts to set in at the fact that I have no idea when I’ll see him again; if I’ll see him again.

  I fall down to the ground and grip at the sheet as the tears fall and I fight to breathe.

  I feel a set of arms grab at me from behind, before I hear Jax whispering things that I can’t manage to put together.

  “He needs time,” he whispers. “He’ll be back. He won’t leave you for good. He can’t, and the only reason why he’s leaving you at all is because he knows I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of you, girl.” He pulls me into his arms and covers my head so that it’s buried into his chest. “We just don’t know when he’ll get his head together and come back. We never do . . .”

  I grab onto him and cry.

  It’s all I can do . . .

  Two Weeks Later . . .

  WALKING TOWARD THE DOOR TO leave, I feel a strong ache in my chest over the absence of Royal and the fact that no one has heard from him yet.

  I never thought it would hurt this much to lose someone. I never thought I’d be one of those lucky people to find and care about someone so much that it would kill me if I ever lost that person.

  Royal has opened my heart to him, made me fall madly in love with him, and then took off, taking my crushed heart with him.

  I’m not going to lie; eating and sleeping has been a hard task since that night, and I’ve been checking my phone about every damn minute, waiting and hoping that he’ll respond to one of my many calls and messages and put me out of my misery.

  The boys tell me not to worry. They tell me that he’s strong . . . that he’ll be okay, and that he just needs time to get his head straight.

  Well . . . what if he never gets it straight? What if he realizes that he can’t open his heart up to me? What if . . .

  I can’t stop wondering about the what ifs, and it’s slowly breaking me down little by little, making me lose hope that I’ll ever get to feel his lips against mine, feel the warmth of his arms around me, or the feel of his soft breath against my neck . . . All of these things I miss so much that it hurts to breathe.

  Madison looks up from the couch as I walk through the living room, past her. “You okay, honey? You want me to go with you?”

  I shake my head. “No, I’m not okay, but I will be.” I grip the door handle to open it, but then stop to look back at her. “I’m going to see Mark. He’s at work but wants me to meet him at that foster care place.” I blow a strand of loose hair out of my face. “I can’t remember the name, but I know where it’s at. I’m fine to go alone. I’ll just see you later. Thanks though.”

  “Always, sweets. I’m always here if you want to talk about it. Please remember that.”

  I nod my head. “I know.” Turning the handle, I pull the door open and step outside.

  I jump back in surprise when Jax pushes away from the railing and uncrosses his arms. “Jeez, Jax. You scared me,” I mutter. “Any word from him yet?” I ask in hope.

  He gives me a sympathetic smile and shakes his head. “Not yet. Sorry.” Walking over to me, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me in for a hug, placing his mouth close to my ear. “Royal cares about you. I have no doubt that he will be back, but you need to understand how hard this is on him. He had a fiancé and a baby on the way at one point . . .” He stops and lets out a small breath. “He lost all that. Then he found you. There was never supposed to be anyone else but her. He needs time to wrap his head around that and come to terms with the fact that someone else besides Olivia has his heart.”

  Feeling my heart breaking from his words, I squeeze him as tightly as I can and hide my face in his chest. “How do you know that I have his heart? I told him that I loved him . . .” I stop to swallow back the pain. “Then he left.”

  Jax pulls me away from him and looks me in the eyes. “Because the only message I’ve received from Royal was the day he left. You know what that message said?”

  I shake my head.

  “It said check on her every day. Let me know she’s okay.” He shakes his head as if his emotions are getting to him. “I’ve done just that. He didn’t ask me to update him on his fucking bar, or to update him on his house and make sure everything is taken care of. He pretty much told me to take care of you, so that’s what I’ll do until the day he returns. Give him time. Don’t give up on him.”

  I lean in and kiss him on the cheek. “I need to go. My uncle is waiting on me.” Without another word, I turn and walk away before the dam can break and I find myself helplessly crying in his arms like a fool.

  I’m so confused and hurt that I honestly don’t know what to do at this point. I just need to take every day for what it is and see how I feel. I want to wait for him. I do . . . but I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared.

  When I get to the foster care place that my uncle asked me to meet him at, I park on the street behind his car and walk up to the building.

  As soon as I open the door, I spot Mark standing around, talking to some older lady with long, white hair.

  He nods at me and holds up his finger when he notices me watching him from afar.

  I nod my head in understanding and take a seat in one of the chairs by the entrance.

  Looking around, I start to feel sad, but for a whole new reason. The thought of these kids not having any parents to tuck them in at night or read them a bedtime story breaks my heart. Some of these kids have probably even been passed around from home to home, feeling as if no one loves them.

  It really makes me wonder why Mark asked me to meet him here. I never even knew that he came here, but the way he’s talking to that lady makes me believe that he comes here often.

  “Avalon.”

  I look up at my uncle.

  He nods his head. “Come on.”

  Standing up, I walk over to my uncle and smile at the lady, as I follow him through the building and outside to the back, where there’s a bunch of kids playing.

  I look at Mark to see him smile as his eyes land on a little girl with long, blonde hair.

  It causes me to smile. “Who’s she?” I pause. “That look on your face tells me she’s somewhat special to you.”

  He
pulls his eyes away from the little girl and turns to look at me. “Her name is Kylie. She’s two years old and has been with two families since she was born. She’s special to me all right.”

  “Oh,” I whisper, not knowing what else to say. “Why is she back here? What was wrong with the families she was with?”

  He shakes his head and pulls his eyes away from me. “They weren’t good enough. There’s always something not good enough and I’m not going to just leave her with anyone. She deserves so much more than someone who doesn’t even give a damn that she’s breathing. At least here she has friends and the staff has practically become her family.”

  I follow him as he walks through the playground, toward the little girl. He stops beside her and kneels down. “Kylie.”

  As soon as Kylie looks over and sees Mark, she throws her arms around his neck and holds on, as if she’s been waiting for days to see him.

  I get choked up, but quickly try to hide the tears that unwillingly slide down my face as I watch them. I’ve never seen Mark hold someone so close in my life. You would think it were his own daughter.

  “I heard you’ve been good,” Mark says as she pulls away from the hug. “You’re always good, right?”

  The little girl smiles and nods her head.

  “I knew it,” mark says excitedly. “I have someone I want you to meet, okay? She’s important to me just like you are.”

  Mark grabs her hand and stands up. He looks over at me, and motions with his head for me to come closer.

  I smile nervously and walk over, stopping right in front of them. I’m stunned speechless when she looks up at me and my eyes meet her wide, curious ones.

  “Oh wow,” I whisper.

  Her eyes are the brightest shade of green I’ve ever seen, and in the upper right side of her left eye is a patch of gray. They’re absolutely the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

  Mark smiles. “Kylie, this is Avalon.” He stands behind her and pulls her long hair out of her face. “She’s very special to me. She’s like a daughter to me.”

  Keeping my eyes on her wide ones, I kneel down in front of her and give her my best smile, fighting through all of my many emotions. “Hi, Kylie. That’s a beautiful name.”

  She laughs and then turns to hide her face in Mark’s leg. Every few seconds she turns back to me, and laughs before hiding her face again.

  I can’t help but to smile at her, and before I know it, I’m playing peek-a-boo with her, moving around Mark’s legs to get her.

  “I’m going to get you!”

  She lets go of Mark’s legs and takes off running in what looks like slow motion. She’s so darn cute and tiny that her small legs don’t take her very far.

  We play for a good fifteen minutes, before she runs back over to Mark and he tackles her in a hug.

  He looks up at me from the ground. “It’s about her dinner time.” Standing up, he grabs Kylie’s shoulders and looks down at her. “Would you like Avalon here to come back and visit with me next week?”

  Kylie looks up at me. Her eyes meet mine and she laughs, while nodding her head.

  “Alright. Why don’t you go have Lynn clean you up for dinner.” He looks over at the white haired lady as she appears next to him and grabs Kylie’s hand. “Thank you.”

  She nods her head and grabs Mark’s shoulder. “Thank you. We’ll see you next week.”

  With that, she walks away, pulling Kylie along beside her.

  The look in Mark’s eyes as he watches them walk away tugs at my heart, but I have no idea what to say to him. This is a side of him that I’ve never seen before. It makes me wonder what got him here in the first place.

  The walk back out front to our vehicles is silent, but I can’t help but to notice the pain etched across his face.

  I watch as Mark leans against his car and runs his hands through his messy hair. He keeps looking over at the building as if he wants to go back.

  “Why did you ask me here? What is going on?”

  He turns around to grip the top of his car. “There’s something you should know.” He turns to face me, and swallows before speaking. “I’m not sure what all Royal has told you . . .”

  “Don’t stop there, dammit.” I growl out when he stops. “You can’t mention his name and then stop. Tell me,” I push. “What does this have to do with Royal?”

  “I need you to listen and I need you to listen close.” His voice cracks. “I was there the night his fiancé got murdered.” He slaps the top of his car and hangs his head low. “I was just a rookie then; had only been on the job for a few weeks at that point and I had no idea what to expect.” He pauses, but doesn’t look over at me before continuing. “We got the call that a man’s pregnant fiancé was raped and murdered, and that the man killed the three men that did it to her. We showed up at the house as he was saying goodbye to her. It was a sight that would break any good man down.”

  I grab onto my car and watch Mark as the tears slide down his cheeks. “I’ll never forget that moment for the rest of my life. The pain he was feeling . . . The look of pure agony and loss in his eyes ate at me and made me realize that if I were in his position that I’d do the same. I’d kill for my family too.” He releases his car and turns to me. “He’s not dangerous. He’s not a bad fucking guy. He fights for the ones he loves and does everything in his power to protect them. That makes him a good man that was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was thrown a shitty hand and he dealt with it. All of these people in this small town don’t see it that way. They’re twisted here in some ways, and want to believe that they know who are the good civilized people and who are the bad, uncivilized savages that are nothing but a waste of space and a disgrace to their town. To them . . . Royal became a savage that night. Even to his own fucking family.”

  “Oh my God,” I whisper, while wiping the tears from my eyes. “I never knew you were there that night. I’m sorry. I know how hard it must have been to witness such a tragedy. And Royal . . .”

  He shakes his head, trying to pull it together, but I can see how much this truly still hurts him. “It was the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to witness, and to top it off, Royal went to jail that night. He assaulted a police officer; broke that son of a bitch’s nose for trying to keep him away from his dead fucking fiancé. He deserved it, but the court didn’t see it that way. Officers Payton and Cooper made sure of it, and also made sure that he didn’t get to see the light of day until his justice was served. They couldn’t get him on murder because it was self-defense, so the asshole cop whose nose he broke, charged him with assault. Royal spent five weeks in jail after losing the love of his life. It was total fucking shit and I felt helpless that I couldn’t do a damn thing to help him. He didn’t utter a word for weeks.”

  “His parents took care of everything on the outside to make sure Olivia had a proper burial, but they stayed far away from Royal and didn’t even bother to visit him.”

  I cover my face and shake my head so hurt by all that Royal has been through. I had no idea the extent of things and I hate hearing this. It makes me angry. “So Royal was in jail when they buried Olivia? Those assholes kept him away?”

  He nods his head. “Yeah . . . he was. He was a fucking mess, but refused to speak to anyone. He shut down, so I went and visited him every few days just to let him know that he wasn’t alone and that I stood behind him. Small towns like this work different from larger ones, Avalon. It’s the only thing I hate about being here.”

  “Fuck,” I whisper. “All of that, and on top of it he lost his baby girl. He doesn’t deserve all of this pain. He doesn’t . . .”

  “Yeah,” he says softly. “He couldn’t handle all of the shit that was going on, so during his time behind bars papers were signed to give up his daughter. It’s the one and only time that his stepfather went to visit him. I was surprised at first, but then realized that Royal was broken at the time. He’d been through more than any one person should have to go through. I could see how
keeping his daughter would be hard on him, so I tried my best to keep my opinions on the matter to myself and support his decision.”

  He breathes out. “She’s the little girl you just met. That’s Royal’s daughter,” he continues. “That’s why she’s so important to me. She lost everything that night and I was there to see her last bit of family break down.”

  My hearts stops and I find myself fighting to breathe. The more I fight, the less air I seem to be able to get. He has to be wrong. This can’t be . . .”What did you just say?”

  “I’m sorry that I told you this way, but you needed to know. That little girl is Royal’s child. I’ve been visiting her since she was a baby. I’ve been protecting her and looking out for her. I know Royal won’t speak of her. He never does.”

  I shake my head and fall against my car, suddenly feeling weak. “No. That can’t be true. She’s dead,” I say softly. “There has to be a mistake. Royal said she was dead. He said . . .”

  Mark rushes over and grabs my arm, pulling me back up straight when I about fall over. “What are you saying?” He screams, while supporting me against the car. “What do you mean Royal said she’s dead?”

  “He said they both died,” I cry. “Blaine told me the same thing. They both think they lost her.”

  Mark pulls me into his arms and holds me as I cry into his chest. “Royal thinks she’s dead. He thinks she’s dead and now he’s gone. He’s fucking gone and I can’t tell him that she’s here.”

  “Fuck. This cannot be happening. Payton is a dirty fucking piece of shit cop, and I’m willing to bet he was in on this shit along with Royal’s fucking parents. I knew that son of a bitch was fucked up in the head.”

  “What are you saying,” I question. “What does that mean? Why would they do that to him?” I pull away and push at Mark’s chest, feeling overwhelmed. “How could you think that Royal would give his daughter up? He would never do that!”

  He punches the top of his car a few times, before gripping it again. “It means that Royal’s parents forged his signature, and Payton and them made Royal believe she was dead. It also means that it would be Royal’s word against Payton’s. He stands no chance at fighting him in court. I never fucking talked about her to him because I didn’t want to bring up the memories and pain of that night. I always suspected that he gave her up because it hurt him too much. I was a fucking idiot. You’re right. I should have known he wouldn’t give her up. Fuck!”