Irreparably Broken (The Broken Series Book 1)

by Heather D'Agostino

  "Hey," came a soft voice beside me. I hadn't even heard him approach, and jumped when he spoke.

  "Uh hi?" I glanced up to see Cole staring down at me.

  "Can I sit with you today? You're not going to run away again are you?" his lips curved up on one side as his eyes softened.

  "Sure," I swallowed as I slid down the bench to make room for him.

  "Coffee?" he held his hand out and in it was a paper cup with the Cool Beans logo on the front. "I wasn't sure how you took it, but this has cream and sugar."

  "That's perfect. Thanks," I murmured as I brought the cup to my lips and took a tentative sip. We had sat there in silence for a few moments before he began talking again.

  "I know you don't know me, but I'd like to get to know you better," he shifted, so he was angled more in my direction. "I wanna help."

  “Help?” I looked away. “No one can help me,” I muttered dejectedly.

  “That’s not true,” he shook his head and released a sigh. “I think…" he scrubbed his palm down his face, "I think that you just need someone to help you fight back."

  “Huh?" I turned to face him only to be met by the most startling chocolate eyes I'd ever seen. They had tiny gold flecks in them that sparkled with a hint of sadness.

  "Let me help you take back some control," he tentatively reached out and placed his hand over mine where it was resting on my thigh. My eyes went wide, and I felt my muscles tighten.

  "Sorry," he murmured. "You don't like being touched, do you?"

  "No," I mumbled. "I don't like what I associate touching with."

  "Come back to the gym with me," he begged. "Just you and me…any time you want. I'll teach you how to be the way you used to be."

  "You don't even know the old me. She's been lost for so long, I don't think she can be found."

  "I'll help you find her," his eyes pleaded as he looked away out over the rolling hills of the park. "I know you can find her. I understand more than you think."

  I furrowed my brow as he continued to avoid making eye contact. How could any man know what it was like to be berated and beaten on a daily basis? Weren’t men the strong ones? Weren't they supposed to be the protectors?

  "Trust me," he sighed and his shoulders slumped. "I get it," he turned to stare into my eyes "more than you think."

  We sat there in silence staring out at nothing in particular just enjoying each other’s company. It was an odd feeling that he created in me. One I wasn't used to. The warning flares that had fired at the first several encounters we'd had seemed to have disappeared, and were now replaced with a sense of understanding. The pain I'd seen the other day at the gym had shown me a little bit of the man beneath the tough exterior. He may have been gorgeous and built like a brick wall, but underneath it all…I had a feeling was a scared little boy.

  “I have to head into work,” he murmured as he stood and tossed his coffee cup in a nearby trash can. “Think about what I said. I’m at McKay's every day. We can get the real you back, but you have to trust me."

  “I’ll think about it,” I slowly nodded as I turned too and glanced back to where Zeb was rolling in the grass.

  "See ya around Maddie," he called in a sad voice as he turned and walked away.

  A sharp pang squeezed my chest as I turned and watched his retreating form. His broad shoulders were slumped in defeat as his feet kicked at the rocks while he walked away. I don't know what caused me to do it, but I soon found myself standing and calling out to him.

  "Hey Cole?" I shouted.

  He turned, and waited for me to continue, "Yeah?"

  "Does tomorrow work?" I chewed the inside of my mouth. "To get the real me back? Will tomorrow work?"

  "Sure," he smiled at me. "Come by whenever you want. I'll be there all day."

  "Thanks," I called back as I turned to grab Zeb's leash. My time was up at the dog park, and I needed to get back to work myself.

  "No problem," he grinned. "See ya tomorrow," he turned with an obvious pep in his step and left.

  What had I done? I asked myself this a thousand times throughout the day. I was taking my life back, and that's what, and Cole Walker was going to help me. I don't know why, but the conversation we'd had in the park was just the push that I'd needed to do this. I would get the old me back no matter what it took.

  Chapter 9

  Maddie

  "So you're really going to do it huh?" Erin nudged me and grinned as we walked out of St. Matthew's together.

  "I'm gonna try," I shrugged as I fumbled with my keys. "I need to change something, and he wants to help, so…it seemed like a good idea."

  "A good idea?" she giggled as we walked through the parking lot heading towards our cars. "It's a great idea! He's hot, and he's offering to let you beat up on him. I wish Wes would offer me lessons," she slowly shook her head like she was trying to clear it.

  "Wait!" I stumbled slightly as I pulled us to a stop. "Do you have a thing for him?"

  "No…yes…maybe? I don't know," Erin sighed. "I don't know if he's just being nice, or if he's interested. I think he's interested, but then he acts the same way he does with me, with everybody. I suck at reading people…at least with men, I do."

  "You're putting too much pressure on yourself. He's a nice guy. Give it time, I guess. I mean…what do I know," I rolled my eyes and blew out a deep breath.

  "So when are you planning to go back?" she grinned at me and wagged her brows.

  “Tomorrow night after work,” we had reached my car and I was in the process of tugging the door open.

  "Well…." She paused and leaned in close like she was trying to share a secret, "Text me when you're finished. I want to know how it goes."

  "What exactly do you think is going to happen?" I swallowed as embarrassment washed over me.

  “I think you’re going to the gym where a very delicious man is going to be wrapping his arms around you, and you get to rub against him without worrying about it going anywhere. You’ll be able to think about that at night when you’re all alone. I think you should use this time to test your limits,” she tossed her arms in the air as if I was asking some of the dumbest questions on the planet.

  "Maybe I shouldn't go," I muttered.

  “What? No! You should definitely go," she narrowed her eyes at me. "Go, and tell me everything," she winked before heading over to her car and climbing in. "Don't leave out any details, and don't you dare back out!"

  “Yeah…ok,” I groaned as I climbed in my own car to go home. I knew I’d spend the evening trying to talk myself into doing this tomorrow. As much as I'd convinced myself that it was no big deal, and I could trust Cole, there was still that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that said otherwise.

  ooooooooo

  Cole

  “She’s not gonna show. I just know she’s not,” I shook my head woefully as I leaned against the front counter. I’d been parked here for the last hour waiting on Maddie. We closed at seven on Tuesday nights, and it was already six-thirty.

  "Give her a chance bro," Wes mumbled from behind the counter. "I'm sure coming, here again, after what happened last weekend is gonna be hard. This place doesn't bring her good memories."

  “I thought I’d made some progress at the park yesterday though. She seemed almost open to the idea," I turned so I could now face the door. "Dude, you gotta tell me what you know about her."

  "Huh?" Wes's head snapped up. "I don't know anything about her.

  "But you said to be careful…" I trailed off as I narrowed my eyes at him.

  "Her friend is a member at one of the groups that I did a demo for. I just assumed," he shrugged without finishing. "After what happened Saturday, I think I assumed right."

  “Oh something happened to her, I just wish she'd talk to me," I grumbled as I picked up at stack of papers on the counter and straightened them for the tenth time.

  “Would you stop?” Wes smacked my hand. “You’re going to drive yourself nuts. If she said she’d be here,
then give her a chance to show. Stop being such a girl," he grinned at me.

  "It's just something about her. I can't put my finger on it, but I just want to be around her. It's like she's this delicate broken thing, and I want to fix her."

  "Well," his eyes rose towards the door, and he nodded slightly with his chin, "I think you're gonna get your chance."

  I felt it almost instantly. She was here. I hadn’t turned around, but the air in the room got thicker. My skin began to tingle slightly, and every nerve ending in my body went on high alert. I slowly turned around to glance in the direction Wes had nodded, and sure enough…there she was. Her lips curved up on one side slightly as she stood shifting her weight from foot to foot. A black gym bag hung over one shoulder, and water bottle was clutched tightly in her hand.

  I jogged over to her and smiled, "You made it!"

  She nodded before casting her eyes downward, and wrapping her arms around her middle in a defensive pose. I'd seen this with my sister…she was scared of me still.

  "Let's put your things back here," I motioned towards the back of the gym, "and then we can get started."

  "Ok," she whispered as she began chewing on the inside of her cheek.

  ooooooooo

  Maddie

  “You can sit your things here," Cole pointed to a bench along the wall in the far corner of the gym. "We'll work right over here," he pointed to some mats that were spread out in a large square.

  "Is this not a busy night?" I glanced around at the dwindling crowd.

  "We're closing in half an hour," Cole answered without turning to look at me as he made his way over to the mats.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me? I can come back another time. I don’t want…” I was cut off as he spun on me.

  "My best friend owns this place," he waved his arms around. "I can come and go anytime I want. You're here now…so we're gonna work," he smirked at me. "Besides," he shrugged, "Wes says I need a good ass kicking today anyway."

  "And you think I can kick your ass?" I tipped my head down and stared at myself before directing my gaze back at him. "I'm like half your size."

  “Size doesn’t matter,” he chuckled when I started blushing. "Well, in this case anyway,” he began strapping pads on his body. "With the right moves even a little thing like yourself can bring someone my size to their knees."

  "Really?" I began walking slowly out onto the mat.

  "Yeah…now come here," he motioned for me to stand in front of him. "You're not gonna hurt me, so don't hold back…got it?"

  "Ok, but what if I?" I started to argue with him, but he scowled, so I snapped my mouth shut instantly. I'd seen that look with Richard, and I didn't want to start an argument with the one man who was trying to help me.

  “You won’t hurt me,” he narrowed his gaze.

  “Got it,” I nodded as I grabbed the hem of my sweatshirt and ripped it over my head.

  I saw Cole falter for a moment as he stood there taking me in. I'd dressed just like I did the first time I came…black stretch pants and a sports bra. I wasn't trying to impress anyone, but I guess he found me attractive…I wasn't real sure. It had been so long that I sometimes missed the signs.

  Once I moved in front of him, he turned me to face away from him. "I'm gonna wrap my arms around you just like we did in class. If it gets to be too much, just tell me to stop, ok?"

  I nodded as I felt him creep closer. Before I knew it, his arms wrapped around me like a steel band. He pressed himself into my back, but it felt more like he was cradling me than restraining me.

  "Now, lift your arm like we talked about in class and bring your elbow back towards my nose," he spoke softly but firm, and I could feel his breath blowing over my cheek and neck.

  I nodded again before shifting my weight and following his instructions. In one fell swoop I jerked and slammed my arm back. I felt it make contact with him, and his hold loosened enough that I was able to step away from him. Even though it wasn’t much, and I had a long way to go, the idea that I’d done this sent a sense of pride rushing through me.

  "I did it," I smiled as I spun to face him.

  He nodded as he rubbed his cheek, "That you did." When he removed his hand, I noticed a red welt beginning to form.

  "Oh no!" I gasped. "Did I hurt you?"

  "Naw," he shook his head slightly. "This is nothing. Let's do it again, but this time I'm gonna make you work a little harder for it."

  I swallowed, "Ok."

  He spun me, so my back was to him once again, and wrapped his arms around me. This time, they tightened, and he lifted me slightly, so my feet weren't firmly planted. "Come on! Fight back!" he commanded as I started to struggle. "Teach me not to mess with you."

  "No!" I shouted right before I slammed my elbow back once again this time making direct contact with his nose.

  "Sonofa," he groaned when his arms released me.

  I spun around to him cupping his nose as blood leaked between his fingers. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it,” I began backing away toward my bag. Memories of the few times I’d inflicted pain on Richard surged to the forefront of my mind. What was he gonna do to me now? He shook his head as he squatted and pinched the bridge of his nose. When his eyes made contact with mine, I didn't see rage…instead I saw question.

  ooooooooo

  Cole

  Sonofabitch that hurt! I knew better than to not duck out of the way, but when I’ve got her right there in my arms, I don’t want to get out of the way. I was so sidetracked when I put her in the hold again, that I didn’t move when I saw her elbow coming right for my face.

  Now here I am, slumped over, trying to get this fucker to stop bleeding, and she's cowering in the corner. The few times I looked at her, and she'd gone from proud of herself to afraid. I wanted to assure her that I was fine, but at the moment my head was a little fuzzy. I don't know if it was the blow to the head that I just took, or having Maddie so close.

  "I'm ok," I lifted the hand that wasn't pinching my nose and waved it at Maddie. "This isn't something new." I watched her slowly inch away from me like she was preparing to bolt. "Oh no, you don't," I muttered to myself as I grabbed the hem of my t-shirt and yanked it off. I balled it in my hand and held it to my nose to stop the bleeding while I made my way over to where she was digging in her gym bag.

  When I got to her, I squatted down behind her and slowly reached out to touch her shoulder. She flinched slightly before turning her head to glance back at me.

  "I didn't mean to," she squeaked as her eyes went wide with fear.

  "I know," I whispered as I slowly lowered my now bloody shirt. The bleeding had finally stopped, and I wanted to try and convince her to stay. "I'm fine…see?"

  She sucked her lip in and clamped her teeth down as she nodded slowly. "Really…I didn't," she glanced away and inhaled a shaky breath.

  "I'm not mad at you," I tried again. "It was my fault really. I didn't get out of the way."

  "Why?" she mumbled without looking me in the eyes.

  I placed my finger under her chin and tipped her head so I could make eye contact, "You're distracting."

  “Me?” her eyes were sad and confused.

  "You distract me when I'm around you. All I could think about was that fact that you were trusting me enough to touch you," I shrugged before tossing my shirt off to the side. She had continued to stare at it, and I wanted to show her I really was fine. "Wanna try the other moves you learned on Saturday? I promise I'll move this time," I grinned at her as I stood and held out my hand for her to take.

  She nodded slightly as she reached out and took it. “Sure,” she smiled as she stood and squared her shoulders.

  I turned and began to pull her back out into the center of the mat, but she held fast to my hand and didn't move. I turned to peer back at her and furrow my brow as she stood stock still staring at me, "You coming?" Her head slowly moved from side-to-side. "What's wrong?"

  "What happened to you," the wo
rds came out strangled as she slapped her free hand over her mouth and her eyes went wider.

  "What?" I couldn't figure out what she was talking about, and look on her face was beginning to worry me.

  She pointed at my shoulders and asked again, “That…what happened?” Tears welled in her eyes like she already knew the answer but was afraid to hear it from me.

  I had completely forgotten about the scars when I had whipped my shirt off. I was so used to people ignoring them that I didn’t even think she would notice, but then again…we were more alike than she knew.

  "I told you I understood more than you know," I cocked my head to the side. "Now…are you coming?"

  She gave a slow nod before moving closer to me, "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked sadly.

  “No, not right now. Right now I want to teach you how to kick my ass. My past is not something that you need floating around in your head right now. Trust me," I shook my head slowly.

  "Ok," she agreed like she understood that I was unwilling to talk about it, but I could tell by the questioning look in her eyes that she was going to bring the topic up again sometime soon, and I had no idea how much I was willing to tell her.

  Could I open up? Could I confide in a stranger things that I hadn’t even told my best friend? Would she even want to be around me once she knew the truth about me? Probably not. I couldn't tell her. I had to keep my secret buried. No matter what…I couldn't tell her about my father.

  Chapter 10

  Cole

  When she finally began to shuffle behind me, I breathed a sigh of relief. I'd gotten her to drop the topic. I knew by the look on her face that she'd bring it up again, but at the moment I just wanted to get her past whatever had flashed through her mind when she'd hit me.

  "All right," I turned her, so her back was to me. "When I grab you again, I want you to use your right foot. Step back, and stomp as hard as you can. Got it?"