Shattered Dreams

by Loyd, Sandy

“Don’t know, but the shit Snyder’s uncovered is hard to ignore. He’s been busy.”

  Jason expelled a long breath. “That’s an understatement. I wonder if the guy sleeps.”

  He took a bite of the salad the waitress had placed in front of him. Snyder’s digging was tunneling directly in Elise’s direction, banishing all thoughts of Crystal’s involvement.

  Glancing over at Jimbo, he said, “I feel like I’ve been run over by a bulldozer. It’s so freaking hard to believe Elise is responsible, that she accidentally almost drowned plotting Claire’s demise.”

  “If those pictures weren’t convincing enough, what he found in her computer clinches it. We can’t overlook that transaction, the one pointing to Claire, diverting the proceeds from the stocks Carter sold. It came directly from the laptop. How’d she get that kind of information?”

  “God only knows,” Jason said, shaking his head in disbelief. “How could I live with her for eleven years and not know?”

  And how could she have the pieces to create an incendiary device on hand, much less have the knowledge to implement one? Of course, her computer had links to websites detailing that information. He never thought Elise was capable of such things.

  “People change,” Jimbo said sagely.

  “But is she a demented killer?”

  Jason rubbed his temple, feeling empty, both physically and emotionally drained. How would his girls get through this? How would Claire get through this? Hell, how would he get through this?

  “What about that Myers guy?” he asked, grasping at straws, anything to keep from facing the truth about his ex. “You finish checking on their story?”

  “He’s uncooperative. So far his account’s accurate. I’m heading over later this afternoon to question the bartender who waited on them, just to tie it up with a neat little bow. But the way I see it, Gwen Anderson’s as big a dead end as the others in her office. Which leads us back to Elise. Dolan let me examine her cell phone.”

  “Did I push her to it?”

  “I’m still checking on the assistant too.” Jimbo’s voice hardened. “You aren’t responsible, Roberts.”

  “If not, then why do I feel responsible? For Claire too, only she won’t let me in.”

  “Give it time.”

  “Screw time. I’ve given her time.”

  Okay. Five days didn’t constitute a lot of time. Still, Jason hadn’t pushed, though he wanted to—in a big way.

  And now his patience grew thin. Silk-thread thin and chafing. Waiting for her to decide what she wanted was killing him inch by inch. Every day he watched, unable to do anything as she distanced herself further.

  Couldn’t she see how good they were together? How the girls responded to her stable, warm influence? She fit into his life as if she’d always been there.

  The concern Claire showed for Elise over the last two days wasn’t feigned. One might think Elise was a relative, not some crazy person who’d tried to burn her out of house and home.

  None of that mattered. What really mattered? This burning in his gut—a desire to have Claire enmeshed in his life. She already owned his heart.

  As much as he longed for her, Jason had no idea how to go about getting her.

  Chapter 54

  Later that afternoon, Jimbo strode into Checkers Bar and Grille.

  Once inside, he removed his sunglasses and grabbed one of the last empty bar stools in the crowded room.

  A bartender was busy washing glasses. He set the last one down and wiped his hands on a towel at his waist. “What’ll you have?”

  “Draft beer.”

  When he acknowledged the order and reached for a glass, Jimbo added, “I’m also here for information.” He watched the bartender pull the lever and pour. “Are you Doug Richards?”

  When he nodded, Jimbo took the pictures out of his pocket and slid them toward Doug.

  “This guy says he was in here with this woman three weeks ago. You remember them?”

  Doug placed a beer in front of him and picked up the pictures. “I know him. Name’s Myers. He usually comes in alone. Never leaves alone.”

  “What about her? He’d have been with her.” Jimbo pointed to Gwen in the picture.

  “Let me think. There was one night he was with someone, but she looked different.” Richards studied the picture again. “The lady I saw had longer, darker hair?”

  “You’re sure?”

  “I usually remember the ladies, and she looks familiar, but I can’t be certain.” When Jimbo’s eyebrows quirked, Doug grinned and nonchalantly lifted a shoulder. “It’s one of the perks of my job.” He indicated the picture. “Was she drugged?”

  “Why do you ask?”

  “We watch this guy closely.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah. Had a couple of complaints. When a woman comes in the next day asking if you remember her because she thinks she might’ve been drugged, you take notice. When it happens more than once, you start watching for guys slipping things into drinks. Bad for business.”

  “You think Myers drugs women?”

  He shrugged. “Can’t prove it.”

  Jimbo asked a few more questions and wrote down the bartender’s replies. When done, he pocketed the pictures and placed a twenty on the bar, murmuring his thanks.

  He walked out and headed to his next stop.

  “I’m here to see John Myers.” Jimbo flashed his warmest smile at the receptionist. “We were meeting later for drinks. My plans have changed and I can’t make it, only he’s not answering his cell, so I stopped by to let him know.”

  “That’s because he’s been in meetings. He just got out. If you’ll sit down, I’ll let him know you’re here, Mister . . . ?”

  “O’Malley. That’s okay, I’ll surprise him.” He started down the hallway. At the door with the right name, he pushed inside.

  “What the—?”

  “Sit down.”

  “You can’t just barge in here.” Myers picked up the phone.

  “Answer my questions and I’ll leave.”

  “How dare you!”

  “You wanna call Broward County Sheriff’s Office and tell ’em how you’re drugging women?” His face distorting in disgust, Jimbo leaned forward. “I’m not afraid of a scumball like you. But you’d better fear me because you don’t want me investigating your past.”

  “I haven’t done anything.”

  “Then tell me about the night you spent with Gwen Anderson.”

  “What about that night? I went out with her.”

  “Bartender says you left the bar around eight. What did you do between eight and ten?”

  “What do you think?” Myers asked, sporting a satisfied smirk. A knock sounded at the door, and his grin widened. “I’m done answering questions.”

  “No problem.” Jimbo presented an unconcerned smile and shrugged before heading for the door.

  Just as it opened, he glanced back. “I think I’ll dig a little deeper into your bar activity, though.”

  Chapter 55

  “I’ll help with those.” Claire rose. Dishes in hand, she followed Amelia into the kitchen, using the diversion to escape Jason’s sizzling gaze. All during dinner, she’d felt it.

  “Thanks, Auntie Claire.”

  While Amelia stood at the sink readying the water, Claire cleared the table, thankful that Jason and Chloe had headed upstairs.

  In companionable silence, she dried, letting her mind wander as the child chattered and washed.

  Work on the kitchen had progressed. This was Wednesday, which meant appliances would be delivered tomorrow. Jason planned to work on the countertops over the weekend. He’d spent the last two evenings working well into the night, finishing the floor while she kept the girls company.

  Claire could tell he used the work as a means not to think about the situation, clearly not knowing how to deal with his daughters’ questions concerning Elise.

  She had easily stepped into the role of confidante, assuaging their trauma, u
sing memories of how she’d felt after her own accident in an effort to add to their normality.

  Though she’d fought attachment, she’d failed. Miserably.

  How could she remain detached when they needed her so desperately, and she needed to be needed just as much?

  “Are you gonna play cards with us tonight?” Amelia asked while Claire folded the towel and placed it on the bar.

  On the brink of begging off, of going to her room to disconnect, she stopped when the child grabbed her arm.

  “Please? Daddy said he’d play if you did.”

  “I guess I could be persuaded.” She ruffled Amelia’s dark hair and smiled into blue eyes too much like her father’s.

  Being under Jason’s roof, so close, fighting to keep her distance from him was like resisting chocolate brownies. Adding Amelia and Chloe into the mix created double-chocolate fudge brownies. She could only look at a plate of her favorite dessert for so long without craving a taste.

  Often over the past five days, Claire would look up and catch Jason’s contemplative stare, a look so full of stark yearning it sent goose bumps along her extremities before he shuttered it. At those times, she ached to give in to her craving for a hug—just one hug.

  But she refrained. No way she’d ever be satisfied with just one taste. Tonight Jason hadn’t bothered concealing his potent thoughts, and her craving had increased a thousand times.

  “Now that the dishes are done, let’s go find them.” She shoved her disturbing feelings away and grasped Amelia’s hand.

  Later as they were playing cards, Claire sat across the table from Jason. With Chloe on her right and Amelia on her left, Claire ignored the signals his body kept sending. Relief swept through her when the clock chimed nine.

  Chloe clutched her hand. “Will you tuck me in, Auntie Claire?”

  Her stomach tightened. “Sure,” she said, giving in to Chloe’s shy smile and pleading look, and allowing the child to lead her toward the bedrooms with Jason and Amelia following on their heels.

  Together, as if they’d been doing it every night since they were born, Claire and Jason tucked the two girls into bed.

  On the way out of Chloe’s room, Jason clasped her arm, halting her progression. “Don’t run off just yet.”

  “Why?” She turned around to face him and sucked in air. Holding her breath, she steeled herself against his intense blue gaze.

  “You know why.”

  She did. Her tummy did somersaults as she closed her eyes and nodded. It took several deep breaths for her to finally compose herself. At the same time, she prayed he wouldn’t be able to hear the rapid thumping of her heart.

  How she wished those eyes of his didn’t affect her so. If only they didn’t convey so eloquently everything she wanted, she could resist them.

  Jason led her to the family room sofa and sat, pulling her next to him. “Claire—” He broke off, cleared his throat, and scrubbed a hand through his hair.

  The uncertainty and nervousness she noted startled her. She was nervous and uncertain too, but she didn’t expect it of him.

  “I promised you time. Hell, I’d give you all the time in the world, if—” He broke off again, gazing into her eyes. “Damn,” he muttered. “I know I promised, but I can’t. Please?” he begged, right before his lips found hers.

  His kiss was soft, warm, and loving. All resistance fled while those lips swept her off to someplace where she didn’t have to think about her house blowing up, or Carl being killed, or the girls’ mother lying in a coma, or the fact that the same woman was responsible. All Claire wanted was to sink into Jason’s heat and forget. Everything.

  “Say yes,” he said, lifting his head and holding it an inch from hers. “Spend the night with me. Let me love you.”

  The desire in his voice matched the yearning in his eyes when she opened hers to find him still staring with fervent intensity. She nodded, staying mute. Words wouldn’t form, the vowels and consonants sticking on the lump in the back of her throat.

  Then, as if in slow motion, his lips moved the last inch, vanquishing any remaining thoughts of denying his request.

  She moaned. Her mouth melded with his as she let go of her resistance, unable to stop from responding to the demanding thrust of his tongue.

  Until reality rushed into Claire’s consciousness.

  How had this happened? They hadn’t even had the sanity to go behind closed doors. The girls could walk out and see them lying on the sofa.

  She pushed away, trying to break loose, but Jason gripped her hips. “Where are you going?”

  “To my room.”

  “Huh-uh.” He shook his head. “You’re staying with me tonight.”

  Annoyance ran up her spine as it stiffened. “You forget.” She met his heated gaze with defiance in hers. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

  While one hand held her in place, his other moved up and down her body, soothing her. Feeling those fingers gentling her, she couldn’t hold on to her anger.

  When he pulled her closer and his lips grazed hers, all anger dissipated, especially when he whispered, “I’m not telling. I’m asking.” He kissed his way along her neck to her ears. “Please stay. I need you tonight.”

  She closed her eyes.

  “Can’t you feel how much?”

  She opened her eyes and nodded. God help her, she needed him too. She craved human contact and would give herself this. But she couldn’t think beyond.

  Jason stood and held out his hand.

  Like quicksilver, memories of him doing the same thing so many times in their brief association flooded her brain. Doubts fled as they linked fingers.

  That night, their lovemaking was slow and languid. When the high of her orgasm abated and her heartbeat and breathing slowed to a steady rhythm, tears threatened. She hadn’t stayed detached. Worse, she wasn’t certain she could undo the damage.

  “Shush,” Jason whispered. He pressed his lips to her brow and wrapped his arms tighter around her. “Why are you crying?”

  His soft question only made her feel worse. She shook her head, unable to speak. How could she tell him about her misgivings? That while she understood Jason and his girls needed her, she wasn’t certain if a relationship with him was what she needed?

  “You can’t tell me?”

  There was so much love spilling from his steady blue gaze. She didn’t want to hurt him.

  “I don’t know if this is what I want.”

  She felt him stiffen as he slowly sucked in air. Then his expression went blank, right before her eyes.

  He leaned back and closed his eyes, taking her with him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

  The emotion in his voice brought on fresh tears, and again he soothed her. “It’s okay. We’ll get through this.”

  “What if I can’t give you what you want?”

  “That’s not your problem. Now go to sleep.”

  “I shouldn’t stay here.” The last thing she wanted to do was sleep in his arms. Like that would help her detach?

  “You’re not leaving.”

  “What about your kids?” she asked, hoping he’d see reason. She tried to pull away to no avail.

  “There’s a lock on the door. I’ll set the alarm and get you back to your room before they wake.”

  “Jason—”

  “Go to sleep.” He kissed her cheek when she bristled. “I’m not letting you leave tonight.”

  • • •

  The next morning, Claire woke up alone in the guest room with vague memories of Jason carrying her there. Smiling, she stretched, remembering the way he’d kissed her before he left. Why did she feel so great when she still hadn’t figured out her course?

  After showering and dressing for work, she strolled into the kitchen to see him busy cooking, laughing and joking with his girls.

  “What’ll you have?” He handed her a cup of coffee.

  “Whatever you’re cooking. Smells good.”

  Claire leaned ag
ainst the counter and observed him. Even with an apron tied around his dress slacks, he looked like a walking sexual fantasy. Every girl’s dream man. At least hers. He definitely gave her good dreams.

  She shouldn’t be this happy. Nothing was settled between them. In fact, now she was more confused.

  Still, she couldn’t deny the sense of belonging when Jason handed her a plate of food and Chloe patted the seat next to her, saying, “I saved your spot.”

  Chapter 56

  Later that morning, Claire passed her assistant’s desk on her way back from a sales department staff meeting.

  “Morning.” She glanced at Amy. “Anything going on I should be aware of?”

  “Good morning.” Amy jumped up and followed her into her office. “Gwen wants to see you when you come in.”

  “Thanks,” Claire murmured, taking the cup of coffee she offered.

  Amy left as Gwen sauntered in.

  “Good, you’re in. How’re things?” She sat on the edge of the desk as usual.

  “Work’s fine. Sales are strong.” Claire sat, placed her elbows in front of her with her chin on laced fingers, and grinned. “Twenty percent ahead of last year. New catalog’s effective. Give yourself a pat on the back. We did it again.”

  “That’s great.”

  “I’m happy. Last year’s sales were high, so I wasn’t expecting such increases. We should celebrate. Wanna do lunch?”

  “Sure. I’m always up for lunch if the boss is springing.”

  “Okay. I’ve got a few things to get done, and then we can go.”

  Once Gwen left, Claire picked up the phone.

  “Hey, CG. It’s me.”

  “Claire?” Crystal asked with laughter in her voice. “What’s going on?”

  “I need to get away for a couple of days. Wanna join me on my boat for a weekend in paradise?”

  Snyder had released the sailboat at the beginning of the week, and she hadn’t wanted to think about what needed to be done after the investigators got through with it.

  Crystal sighed. “You know I hate sailing.”

  “Please. I’m sure the boat’s a mess, but I can’t face it alone, and I’d rather not include Jason. He’s got enough with his girls and his kitchen.” She stopped short of telling her sister the real reason. She needed distance.