A Bittersweet Garden

by Caren J. Werlinger

  “Are you all right?” Briana asked as she navigated the narrow, winding road.

  Nora thought about lying to her, but that just seemed wrong. “They remind me so much of my grandparents.”

  “You miss them.”

  Nora nodded. “I do.”

  Briana seemed to deflate a little. “Do you want to go straight back to Cong?”

  “No.” Nora gave Briana’s arm a squeeze without giving herself a chance to second-guess it. “What else did you have planned?”

  Briana glanced at her doubtfully. “A couple more stops. Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure.”

  For a while, the slap of the wipers was the only sound.

  “What made you decide to do this?” Nora asked.

  “You talk so much about that movie and how it brought you to Ireland, I just thought you might like to see a bit more of what went into making it.”

  “You researched this,” Nora said.

  Briana shrugged. “Yeah.”

  Even under gray skies with the rain coming down, Briana’s red hair caught what light there was. Nora longed to reach out and caress it. Touching her arm was one thing, but… She stuffed her hands between her knees instead. “Why did you?”

  Briana’s hands tightened on the wheel. Rather than answering, she asked, “Why were you crying at Lettergesh?”

  “I don’t know if I can explain,” Nora said softly. “Have you ever been surrounded by people, people you love and who love you, but felt you didn’t quite belong there?”

  “Why do you think I don’t go to Dublin more often?”

  Nora met Briana’s gaze for a moment and saw that she did understand. “I love my family, and it’s not that we don’t get along or anything. It’s just… I don’t have a spouse or kids. I think they just expect me to be there, like a piece of furniture, but if I’m not, I’m not sure they notice. I wonder if they’ve missed me at all this summer.”

  Briana snorted. “That may have more to do with us than them.”

  “You’re probably right,” Nora agreed. “I guess I feel like my life doesn’t measure up to their expectations. Or maybe it’s only my expectations. Whatever. I’ve never reached for much. Just my job. And Amy. Kind of.”

  “I know mine feel the same way about working with horses. Mum always wanted me to go to university.”

  “I did that, but it still doesn’t feel like enough.”

  They rode for a while, each lost in her own thoughts.

  “She—Amy—wouldn’t have done something like this for you?”

  “No. It’s not that she was mean or unkind or anything.” Nora struggled to explain. “It just wouldn’t have occurred to her to plan something like this. She thought I was silly for loving that movie so much.” She sighed. “She thought I was silly about a lot of things.”

  “Aren’t you angry about what happened?”

  Nora pondered that for a long moment. “I was, I guess. More hurt than anything. We’d drifted into just a friendship without even knowing it had happened. I suppose she felt that spark with Tracy and needed that connection. It wasn’t there with me any more. Looking back, I’m not sure it ever was.”

  “But Lettergesh…”

  Briana wasn’t going to let this go. Nora’s heart pounded as she tried to force the words out. Once you say them, you can’t take them back.

  “You took the time to plan this, to do something special for me,” she heard herself say. “I can’t tell you how much that means.”

  This time, she did reach out to caress Briana’s soft hair. Briana’s eyes widened, but she leaned into Nora’s palm. When she took Nora’s hand and pressed it to her lips, Nora thought her heart might actually stop. She’d never imagined she could feel so much from such a simple gesture.

  They drove on, hands clasped, neither speaking. Words weren’t needed, which was good because it was all Nora could do to breathe.

  The sky lightened, and the rain became a drizzle and then stopped altogether. Briana navigated for a while with one hand on the wheel but eventually said, “I’ll need both hands now.”

  She reached for a sketched map she’d tucked into her console. Following its directions, she turned off the road, taking a series of smaller roads before finally turning onto what looked like little more than a cow track and then coming to a stop.

  Nora clapped both hands to her mouth, and her eyes filled again. “The cottage.”

  They got out. Shannon bounded ahead of them, nose down as she tracked the scent of rabbits through the wet grass. Nora crossed the bridge, stopping to gaze at the ruins of what had been White O’Morn. The crumbling cottage looked nothing like it had in the movie, but the surroundings…

  “This was it,” Nora murmured. “Another name for heaven.”

  She reached for Briana’s hand, squeezing it. Together, they wandered around the remains of the cottage. Nora stepped over the rubble into the cottage’s interior. Briana picked her way across the rocks in the rambling stream to wait at the bridge, leaving Nora to her thoughts as she stood there, her arms wrapped around herself, just breathing in the wonder of standing in this spot.

  When Nora went back to the bridge, Briana pointed.

  A rainbow. Arching through the sky over the cottage. Perfect.

  “Do you want your camera?” Briana asked, rising to go to the SUV.

  Nora shook her head. She tugged Briana back down and sat next to her on the bridge. “I just want to make this memory with you.”

  For long minutes, they sat shoulder to shoulder. Nora tried to take it all in. Lambs bleated in a neighboring field as clouds scudded across the partially blue sky. She turned to find Briana watching her, all freckles and blue eyes and so damned adorable. Kiss her.

  Just as she leaned in, another car pulled up and parked beside their SUV. She and Briana jerked apart and jumped to their feet as a carload of loud American tourists spilled out.

  “Let’s go,” Nora said.

  Briana whistled for Shannon, and they climbed back into the car.

  “Where to now?” Nora asked as Briana drove back the way they’d come.

  “Just one more stop.”

  From the corner of her eye, Nora saw Briana glancing in her direction, but she refused to look, afraid of how much her eyes would betray the torrent of feelings tumbling inside her. The air in the car fairly crackled with the tension of that unfulfilled kiss.

  “Bloody hell.”

  Briana braked to a hard stop and grabbed Nora by her jacket, yanking her over to mash her mouth against Nora’s. What started as a furious crush of lips and tongues and teeth changed, gentled as they tasted and explored each other. Nora cupped Briana’s cheek and felt Bri’s hand on the back of her head, holding her in place.

  A giant dog tongue joined the melee, swiping both their cheeks. When they parted, Shannon was panting at them with a doggy smile.

  Nora gave Briana another light kiss and sat back. “Drive.”

  “This is the last stop?”

  Nora started to unbuckle her seatbelt when Briana parked in front of Cohan’s Pub in Cong.

  “Not quite. Wait here.”

  Briana left the car idling while she hurried inside to pay for the fish and chips she’d ordered yesterday. She carried the bagged dinners back outside and handed them to Nora.

  “Hold these. I don’t trust Miss Big Teeth back there.”

  She drove to the private stables, parking at her front door. “This is the last stop.”

  She held the door for Nora, who hesitated.

  Only then did Briana realize what this might look like, especially after the tussle in the car. “Dinner here seemed quieter than the pub.”

  Shannon quickly did her business and trotted inside with Dilly on her heels. He looked up at Briana hopefully, his tail wagging, looking too cute to ignore.

  “All right, then.”

  She scooped some extra kibble into another bowl and went to the cupboard to get down plates.

  “Open two b
ottles of Guinness, will you?”

  Nora obliged, pouring them into the glasses waiting next to the fridge while Briana slid their fish and chips onto the plates. She wore a puzzled expression as she took her plate and followed Briana to the couch. Bri picked up a remote and clicked the TV on.

  After a moment, the DVD loaded. Nora’s mouth hung open.

  “The Quiet Man? We’re watching The Quiet Man?”

  Briana grinned. “You keep talking about this blasted movie. And I just spent the whole day rambling about Connemara. I figured I might as well see what all the fuss is about.”

  If she thought there would be any further conversation, she quickly realized she was wrong. Nora took a deep drink of her Guinness, and shifted to sit on the floor with her plate on the coffee table. She tucked into her fish and chips with her eyes glued to the screen.

  Briana sighed and followed suit. She tried to concentrate on the movie, but her gaze and her thoughts kept drifting to Nora, who sat raptly watching the telly. She chuckled to herself as she realized Nora’s lips were moving.

  “You do know all the dialogue, don’t you?”

  Nora flushed a brilliant pink. “Sorry. I’ll be quiet.”

  The movie was charming, if unrealistic. Briana could see how Americans, especially, would be beguiled by the story and the music. What she enjoyed most was watching Nora’s reaction, the way her face lit up, the way she just couldn’t help humming along when song broke out, which it seemed to do every few minutes. And it was fun to see bits of Cong and Connemara showcased as they were in the 1950s. She recognized some of the scenery.

  “I can’t believe I’ve never watched this,” she admitted as the closing credits ran.

  “Did you really like it?” Nora asked, turning to her. “Or are you just humoring me?”

  “I really liked it.” Briana shook her head. “Probably not as much as you, but I liked it.”

  Nora took the remote and backed the movie up to the crowd shot at the end, when the vicar’s car is driving through the village. She paused the movie and went to the TV.

  “That’s my Mamma,” she pointed. “And that’s my Pop. And there’s Fiona.”

  “Which makes it even more fun for your family.”

  Nora crawled to sit with her back to the sofa, her knees hugged to her chest. “Thank you for one of the nicest days I’ve ever had.”

  Briana gazed down at the curve of her cheek, the way her honey-colored hair lay soft on her shoulders, and she knew something had shifted for them this day. The kiss in the car had been almost one of frustration, but now…

  She moved to sit next to Nora, brushing her fingers gently over her cheek. As if she’d been waiting for some kind of signal, Nora turned to her.

  This time, their lips met gently, opening, yielding as they took their time. She sifted Nora’s hair between her fingers, enjoyed the sensation of Nora’s hand running up her side from her hip to her shoulder, with her thumb just skimming the side of Briana’s breast. The effect was electric.

  Briana moaned and pushed away. “If I’m to drive you back to the cottage tonight, we’d better leave now.”

  Nora gazed into her eyes. “I don’t want to go.”

  Briana smiled. “I was really hoping you’d say that.”

  Chapter 12

  Outside the bedroom window, the sky lightened and the birds began to wake. Nora lay on her side, watching Briana sleep. She hadn’t slept that well in ages, which was saying something as they’d made love for what felt like hours. Sex with Amy had never been like this. It hadn’t been bad, just… not like this. It felt as if she and Briana were made to fit together, which was kind of funny considering the difference in their height.

  Briana’s tough little body had moved with her, carrying her to one of the most intense orgasms she’d ever had as they tumbled about on the bed. And when Nora had explored Briana’s body, not sure what kind of response she’d get, she’d been surprised to find all of Briana’s normal control flying out the window.

  “Don’t stop!” she’d panted as Nora brought her to four orgasms in quick succession, each more powerful than the previous.

  At last, Briana had collapsed atop Nora, gasping for air as her body continued to shudder. Remembering what Briana had told her about not spending the night with anyone, Nora had half-expected to be asked to gather her things from where they’d been tossed around the bedroom as they ripped each other’s clothing off, but Briana had curled up against her, her arm draped over Nora’s stomach, until they both drifted into a pleasantly exhausted sleep.

  Nora eased out of bed now, searching in the dim light for her underwear and shirt. She opened the bedroom door to find Shannon stretched across the doorway with Dilly lying next to her.

  “Good morning,” she whispered, giving both dogs’ ribs a thump when they scrambled to their feet. “Come on.”

  She let the dogs out the kitchen door, relieved to notice that Briana’s tiny kitchen was equipped with the same nice coffee maker Sheila and Quinn had—a detail she’d not paid attention to the evening before. She quickly got coffee brewing and went into the bathroom.

  A few minutes later, she emerged. No toothbrush, but she’d at least scrubbed her teeth with a little toothpaste on her finger. It always killed her how people in movies and books shared slobbery kisses first thing upon waking. Didn’t anyone have morning breath?

  Shannon was ready to come in—she spotted Dilly trotting into the barn—and Nora was more than ready for coffee.

  “Go wake her up.”

  Shannon bounded into the bedroom, and Nora chuckled as she heard “all right, all right, I’m up” followed by footsteps stomping into the bathroom.

  She poured two cups, suddenly realizing she didn’t know how Briana took her coffee. Or what she liked for breakfast. It made her ridiculously happy to know there were so many things to learn about her lover.

  My lover. She’d never had a lover, at least not that she’d thought of in that sense. She and Amy had drifted into sex almost as casually as they’d drifted out of it. There hadn’t ever been any real passion, nothing like this crazy desire Nora had as Briana made a sleepy entrance into the kitchen—wearing a thin T-shirt that didn’t hide the outline of her nipples—to tear that T-shirt off and make love with her right here on the kitchen table.

  “Coffee first,” she said, placing a cup in front of Briana as she sat.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” Nora said, smiling. “I’ll tell you later.”

  An hour later, having had another quick toss in bed following breakfast, Nora stood in the kitchen, kissing Briana good-bye for the day.

  “Thank you again for yesterday,” she said.

  “You’re welcome.” Briana smiled shyly. “Thanks for last night. And this morning.”

  Nora laughed.

  “You sure you don’t want a ride back to the cottage?”

  “The walk will do me good,” Nora said. “Give me time to clear my head before I go to the nursery.”

  Briana flicked a thumbnail over a scratch in the paint of the doorjamb. “Don’t clear it too much.”

  “No worries there.” Nora put a finger under her chin and tilted her head for a last light kiss. “I’ll be lucky to keep my mind on my work today.”

  They stepped outside to find Liam leaning against the paddock fence, grinning like an idiot.

  “Shut it,” Briana snapped, but he just laughed and sauntered into the barn.

  “Later,” Nora said.

  She looked back once to find Briana still watching her. With a last wave, she shrugged her backpack higher onto her shoulders and strode off. She took now-familiar shortcuts through the woods, smiling to herself as she walked.

  Her mind was fuzzy, happily distracted by memories of the last twenty-four hours, so she didn’t notice immediately that her cottage was in some disarray. She stopped abruptly when she stepped inside. Similar to when she returned after Dublin, the desk in the parlor had been swept clean of her books
and pens. But this time, the curtains had also been pulled down, so that the bent rod hung drunkenly from one end.

  “Pissed I didn’t come home last night?” Nora asked aloud.

  She scooted her desk chair closer to the window to try and reattach the curtain rod to the window casing, but she quickly realized she was going to need tools she didn’t have.

  Upstairs were more signs of chaos—not just bed pillows thrown across the room, but all the bedclothes, ripped off the bed and strewn about, and another curtain ripped down.

  “What the hell?”

  With a frustrated sigh, Nora tossed things back on the bed to remake later.

  “I’m going to work now,” she said loudly as she changed clothes. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t have any more temper tantrums while I’m gone. I’ll be back this afternoon.”

  She quickly brushed her teeth, scrubbed her face, and ran a brush through her hair. Inspecting herself in the mirror, she decided that was good enough for the nursery, since she usually had to bathe after work anyway.

  She pedaled along, humming happily. She felt she could have bicycled to Galway and back. When she rolled into the nursery, a couple of early customers were already there. She waved at Sheila and parked her bike near the kitchen door.

  Without being asked, Nora began the morning ritual of misting the plants displayed in the greenhouse.

  “So, how was it?”

  Nora’s head snapped up as Sheila came into the greenhouse, having finished with her customers. “What?”

  “How was your ramble?”

  “Oh. It was great. Briana surprised me with a whole day of visiting the locations where they filmed The Quiet Man. We started at Lettergesh Beach and then went to Clifden and had lunch with Fiona and Jack. They send their love.”

  “Do they now?” Sheila was staring hard at her.

  “Yes.” Nora turned her back on Sheila and resumed her misting. “What’s on for today?”

  “I got a delivery yesterday of autumn plants. Sea peas, alpine bistort, autumn crocus. We’ll need to repot some of them.”

  “Okay. Just let me finish here.”

  She waited for Sheila to go, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw she was still standing there.