Brush Strokes

by Janelle Stalder

  “You need to get your scumbag hands off my girlfriend, Morgan,” Jake said.

  “Maybe you should tell your girlfriend to get her hands off me,” Colt replied. I looked down at my hands as if they belonged to someone else. They were gripping the top of his jeans tightly. Gasping, I dropped my hands and took a step back. I wanted to yell at him, but I couldn’t find my voice.

  “Everyone, go home,” Mrs. Hart said, obviously trying to diffuse the situation. Snapping out of my haze, I turned robotically and quickly gathered up my things. I couldn’t even look at Jake as we made our way out of the classroom. Needless to say, it was an awkward drive home.

  Eighteen

  No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist – Oscar Wilde

  Olivia

  “He did WHAT?”

  I nodded my head until it dawned on me that she couldn’t see me through the phone line. “You heard me right.”

  “Sweet baby Jesus, what I wouldn’t give to have been there,” Ella said on a sigh. “What did Jake do?”

  “Nothing really,” I admitted. “The car ride home was pretty awkward. I apologized, but he just smiled at me and grabbed my hand, saying he knew it wasn’t my fault and not to worry about it.”

  Ella snorted. “Way to have no balls, Jake Taylor.”

  “Ella,” I scolded.

  “What? If the roles were reversed, Colt would have knocked that guy out for even putting a hand on you, never mind his lips. I’m just saying, point for Colt on this one.”

  “It isn’t a competition, Ells.”

  “Like heck it isn’t. And why would you apologize? You didn’t do anything.”

  I fell back on the bed, my mind replaying the kiss for the thousandth time. “Exactly. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t push him away, I didn’t slap him. Nothing. Worse, I clung to him like he was the only thing holding me up.”

  “He probably was at that point,” she muttered.

  True. “It was awful, Ella I feel like such an ass. It’s one thing if I had just stood there in shock, but I kissed him back just as much as he was kissing me.”

  She sighed loudly. “Man I wish I had been there.”

  “You said that already.”

  “I know, but it’s still as true now as it was ten seconds ago. Colt Morgan melts my face off, he’s so hot. You’re so lucky.”

  “Why do you think he did it? I mean, how awkward is it going to be now whenever I see him and I’m with Jake.”

  “He did it because he wanted to,” she replied simply. “That’s how Colt is. He doesn’t overthink anything. You two have been cooking up a typhoon of teenage hormones all week, it was bound to come to some sort of explosive end. Jake will get over it, because he knows there’s really nothing he can do about it, so I wouldn’t worry about anything.”

  I rubbed at my eyes, exhausted from the world of teen drama. This was exactly why I had been careful and kept myself out of it up until now. My senior year was becoming a soap opera. “I’m going out with Jake tomorrow night. Hopefully he’s gotten over it by then.”

  “Probably not, but just let him kiss you and he’ll feel better. It’s like a dog pissing on a water hydrant.”

  “Ew, Ella.”

  She laughed. “It’s true.”

  Well that was just great. Especially since I knew that Jake’s kisses were nothing compared to the way Colt kissed me. I didn’t feel even a twinge of what I felt with Colt when I was with Jake. Of course, I couldn’t say that out loud because that would make me the worst girlfriend in history. Ella, being the bestest friend in history, however, could.

  “Even though we both know his is going to suck compared to Colt’s.”

  “Ella!” I reproached, weakly.

  I could hear her smile through the phone. “You know you were thinking the same thing.”

  “I wish you didn’t have to go away this weekend,” I complained. “I could have used you as an excuse not to go out with him.”

  “Sorry, my love. Nan needs me at the farm, and you know I’m a sucker for freshly picked apples. There is bound to be pie.”

  My mouth watered just thinking about it. Ella’s grandma lived in a small town about an hour’s drive from Bloomfield. The population of horses was literally more than humans. Small town was practically an understatement. She owned a beautiful farm, but was getting too old to take care of it properly, so Ella would spend some of her weekends there helping out. Her grandma also made the best damn pies in the entire world.

  “Bring me home a slice,” I said.

  “Obviously. Well, you have a nice date with lame old Jake tomorrow, and tell me all about it on Monday.”

  I sighed. “Yeah, okay. Talk to you later.”

  I looked out the window as the lake came into view. Jake parked on the hill that looked down on it, the moonlight reflecting off the calm surface to illuminate us in a blue glow. I hated that he had brought us here. Obviously I knew why, and that only made my nerves worse.

  If an awkward dinner wasn’t bad enough, with Jake talking non-stop about football practice like I gave two shits, and then picking off my plate without asking if I was even done with it, now I had to deal with being “parked” with him. I knew I should have called off this date.

  “What a beautiful night,” I observed lamely. Just don’t look in his direction, I told myself, keeping my eyes on the deserted area around us.

  “Not as beautiful as you,” he replied. Gag.

  I glanced over at him and smiled. “Thanks, Jake.”

  The leather of the seat squeaked as he shifted closer to me, the center console the only thing separating us, thank God. I stiffened as he reached out to brush a lock of hair away from my face.

  “I really think I’m falling for you, Olivia.”

  Wait. What?

  “You’re just so beautiful and smart. I know my mom is going to love you,” he said, leaning in closer.

  Good to know he thought Mommy would approve. “Uh,” was all I managed.

  “I’m so glad you’re my girlfriend. I feel like the luckiest guy at school with you on my arm.”

  Was that all I was to him, nice arm candy? His face drew even closer until I could feel his breath against my skin. Before I could stop it, his lips met mine. They were cold and lifeless against my mouth as he pressed closer. His tongue snaked out and I hesitantly opened for him, trying my best to give this a shot.

  He clumsily tangled with my tongue, the loud sounds of his increased breathing filling the small space. His hands dug into my scalp, holding me still as the kiss continued. It was worse than I expected. Or maybe just comparing any kiss to Colt’s was going to leave it lacking. I just wasn’t into it. Pulling back, I placed my hands on his chest to give us a moment to breath.

  “Slow down, Jake,” I said.

  “Sorry, you’re just so hot,” he said, diving in for another round. I tried, I really did, to make it work but there was just too much going on, and I was pretty sure he was slobbering on me. I tried to pull away again but he held me where I was. After a moment of me pushing at him, he finally fell back into the seat, breathing heavily. He stroked an irritated hand through his hair as he looked straight ahead.

  “We need to slow down,” I said again.

  Jake took a deep breath through his nose, letting it out slowly through his mouth. “Right. Slow. It’s just, you’re my girlfriend, Olivia, and I want you. Badly.”

  Oh, well in that case – not! “I’m sorry , Jake. I think it’s time for me to go home.”

  He looked over at me now, his face blank for a moment before he nodded his head slowly. “Of course, it’s getting late.” He started the car and we drove in silence. I’ve never been so happy to see my little, old house as I was at that moment.

  The light from the open garage next door had my pulse leaping. I could see the silhouettes of a group of people hanging out in Colt’s garage. Balls. This was the last thing I needed. Jake pulled up to the curb, his
eyes trained on the house next door. His eyebrows pulled in angrily and I just prayed he didn’t do anything stupid.

  “Well, thank you for a wonderful evening,” I lied, trying to pull his attention away from Colt’s house.

  He tore his eyes away and gave me a strained smile. “You’re welcome. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

  I nodded. “Sure.”

  He leaned over to give me a kiss. I made it quick and got out of there. The laughter from next door had me hunching over in a lame attempt at trying to be invisible as I turned to shut the car door. Hopefully none of them noticed me.

  “Hey, Jake!” I heard someone call out. I recognized the voice as Briggs, one of Colt’s friends. Jake’s hand peeked out over the roof from his window as he gave the guy a quick wave.

  “Goodnight, Olivia,” he said before the door closed. I leaned down and smiled at him once more.

  “Night, Jake.”

  I stood there and watched him drive away, thankful that the date from hell was over. Now I just had to figure out how on earth I was going to break up with one of the most popular guys in school without become the local leper again. With a defeated sigh, I turned and headed up toward my front door.

  On their own accord, my eyes slid to my neighbour. As though he were waiting for me to do just that, Colt stood in the opened garage, his eyes already fixed on me. I looked away and hurried toward my front door, knowing he still stood there, watching me. From across two yards, under the shadow of night, with only a look, I felt more then from Colt Morgan, than I did being kissed and touched by Jake. I was in a world of trouble.

  Monday came too fast. After Dad dropped me off at the front doors, I stood there and had to brace myself for whatever this day was going to bring. Jake had acted a bit strange on the phone when he called Sunday, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what the difference was. I’d chickened out of ending things, so now I had to face another week of dealing with a boyfriend I wasn’t sure I even liked.

  Ella hadn’t gotten home until late last night so I still hadn’t spoken to her. I needed my strong-willed bestie to knock some sense into me. If anyone could put things in focus for me, it would be Ella. The sad truth was, I just didn’t know how to handle any of this. I was so used to being ignored by everyone at school that I lacked the skills to navigate through the world of drama.

  “You just going to stand there and stare at it, or you going to go in?”

  I turned with a relieved sigh and hugged Ella tightly. “I hate when you go away,” I confessed.

  She giggled and hugged me back. “Missed you too, Ollie. And clearly we need to talk.”

  I stepped back and rolled my eyes. “You have no idea. I need some good ol’Ella Page advice, pronto.”

  “Well it’s a good thing I’m on the clock today,” she said with a wink. Hooking her arm through mine, we made our way into the crowded halls toward our shared locker. “How was the date?”

  I grunted. “As horrible as having someone try to eat your face off.”

  She scrunched up her nose in disgust. “Ugh, what is wrong with some guys? It’s like they have no idea how to kiss a girl properly. Although I can’t say I’m surprised. Jake just doesn’t have the same swagger as Colt.”

  “I don’t know what to do,” I admitted, leaning back against the lockers while she switched up her books. “Part of me thinks I’m not giving Jake enough of a chance, and part of me just thinks I’m wasting time by pretending to like him more than I do.”

  “I think we can both agree that it’s just not there with Jake,” she replied. “You can’t fake or force yourself to like someone.”

  “It’s not like Colt is a real option either though,” I pointed out.

  The bell rang loudly, causing the other students around us to scurry in all directions. Ella slammed the locker shut and faced me.

  “I know you saw him kiss Reagan and that you think he’s just going to play you, but I’m telling you that boy likes you. It’s not the same with you like it is with other girls.”

  I looked down at the ground, pushing at an imaginary item with the toe of my shoes. “You don’t know that,” I replied. “Colt has a reputation for a reason. There is nothing about me that would make me any different from all the other girls in this school.”

  Ella’s hands landed on my shoulders, forcing me to look up at her. “If you really believe that, you’re dumber than I thought. For shame, Olive. You need to take a good long look in the mirror and realize that you are a million times better and different than any of the girls in this school. And Colt’s not an idiot, despite his SAT scores. He sees you, now it’s time for you to see you too.”

  I just nodded because speaking past the massive lump in my throat was currently impossible. We agreed to meet at lunch and headed to our separate classes. I wasn’t looking forward to having to sit in the same room as both boys, but unfortunately I didn’t have a choice. As I made my way, I noticed quite a few people looking my way and then laughing amongst them. A couple of players from the football team winked at me in a way that had me instantly on alert. What was going on?

  Jake was already sitting at our table when I entered class. He sat up stiffly with a strained smile. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I had a sneaking suspicion he did. Unfortunately I was running late so there was no opportunity for me to ask him anything before our teacher arrived and called the class to attention.

  Just as the last bell rang, Colt strutted in like he hadn’t a care in the world. Unable not to, my eyes landed on him and stayed there as he made his way across the front of the room. His gaze met mine and he sent me a quick wink that had my cheeks bursting into flames. I quickly looked down, but not before I saw his eyes move to the person beside me and grow harder and colder than I’ve ever seen them. When I peeked up at Jake, I saw him looking down too, a flush spread across his face. If I could name the look on his face, I’d say it was ashamed.

  Class was painful as I tried to pay attention to the lesson happening in front of me, with one guy on my left staring daggers our way, and another on my right who wouldn’t stop fidgeting the entire time. When the bell rang, Jake made some quick excuse as to why he needed to leave and then bolted out the door. I watched the spot where he had disappeared and tried to rack my brain to figure out what could be going on with him. Maybe he didn’t want to date anymore either. Wouldn’t that just make my life simpler? Maybe he was scared to hurt my feelings. I just needed to figure out a way to let him know that I’d be okay if we went our separate ways. The only problem now was to figure out how.

  I packed up and headed out the door to see Ella pacing outside the class. Her furious eyes flew to mine as soon as I stepped out into the hall.

  “What’s wro –” Ella yanked on my arm, cutting me off as she pulled me through the crowd. A few people looked our way, but I was too focused on not falling on my face to really pay attention.

  “Good grief, woman,” I complained. “You’re going to pull my arm off.”

  Ella said nothing as she pulled me into the stairwell that was now empty since the second bell had just rung. She stopped and swung around, her arms flailing.

  “What the hell, Olive?”

  “You tell me,” I said, confused.

  “I asked you about your date, and you failed to leave out the most important part,” she said, tapping her foot impatiently. “Besties are supposed to tell each other everything.”

  “What are you talking about? I have told you everything!” Was everyone going nuts today?

  “Really? Then why did I just have to hear from Jessica Swanson that you and Jake did it in his mother’s car up at the point on Saturday?”

  I froze. “What?”

  She straightened, her eyes widening. “He told the entire football team this morning at practice. He said you and him finally sealed the deal, in the back of his mom’s car. Please tell me that piece of shit is lying.”

  Air. I needed air. It was no longer working through my lungs. No
wonder he looked so damn guilty this morning. He had lied! Outright, flat-out lied about us having sex! In what universe did that really happen? How could someone be so horrible? He was supposed to be my boyfriend!

  “I’m going to kill him,” Ella said seriously.

  “Get in line,” I said, finally finding my voice.

  “So you didn’t sleep with him?”

  I gave her an incredulous look. “How could you even ask me that? Of course I didn’t sleep with him. You know me better than that, Ells. I can’t even stand kissing him, why on earth would I sleep with him?”

  The door behind us banged loudly, causing us both to jump. I turned just in time to see the back of the person’s head that had apparently been standing behind us this entire time.

  “Shit,” Ella whispered. I would have said the same if I could find my lost voice again. Colt was now gone, but there was no doubt in my mind he’d heard everything he needed to hear. I needed to find Jake, and quick.

  Nineteen

  Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures. – Henry Ward Beecher

  Colt

  I was going to kill him. Rannon was watching me like a hawk as we stood outside in the parking lot, leaning against his truck. Somehow Taylor had managed to hide from me all day, but he had to leave school at some point. I knew he had football practice so if I had to wait until it was over, so be it.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be at that art thing?” Rannon said as he lazily chewed on a toothpick.

  “Yup,” I said, my eyes stuck on the far field.

  “Well shouldn’t you get going then?”

  “Nope.”

  I could see him nodding out of the corner of my eye. “I see. You know you’re going to have both Mrs. Hart and Ms. Kelly on your ass for this. Isn’t it just easier to go get this over with, and then corner Jake after?”