Love Uncharted

by Berinn Rae

  She swayed as the vehicle swirled through the traffic. The blasting siren stopped and the ambulance slowed down. The ride to the North York General had taken less than ten minutes.

  “We’re here.” The woman paramedic stood up, but remained slouched. She released the brakes on the gurney’s wheels.

  The rear door popped open, cold air sliding into the heated interior. The gurney touched the pavement just in time for Olivia to see Tom running across the parking lot. His arrival meant he’d matched the ambulance’s speed.

  The earlier snow had stopped and Tom’s steps crunched on the light blanket of powder. The paramedic turned her gurney toward the glass entrance of the hospital and the panels slid open. Warmth caressed Olivia cheeks as the EMT pushed her indoors. The stringent smell of bleach stung her nose and reminded her how much she disliked hospitals.

  The paramedics stopped the gurney by the triage desk. “Mrs. Medar is here to see Dr. Mason.”

  The nurse in flowery scrubs seated behind the glass window spoke, but her voice came across muffled. She pointed to her left. Olivia’s gurney moved again, leaving the waiting area filled with people. Dr. Law’s words rang true — only the sickest people got the prime attention.

  Olivia counted the rectangle lights on the ceiling of long corridors until her stretcher finally stopped in front of the door with a sign indicating Diagnostic Imaging.

  “Gregory assured me this won’t take long,” Tom said, trailing alongside her. At the reception desk, the paramedics handed Olivia’s paperwork to a nurse in bubble-gum pink scrubs. She led them to a tiny room where they transferred Olivia to another bed on wheels.

  The nurse who took papers from the paramedic came to her bedside and flashed a big smile at Tom. “Hi, my name is Cindy, I’ll be her nurse. Dr. Mason is ready. I’ll help your wife change into these gowns. If she has any jewelry, please have her remove it. The changing room is behind those curtains.”

  Cindy barely glanced her way and continued to gawk at Tom, whose initial smile vanished, replaced by a frown. Great! Another woman drooling over Tom. Olivia yanked the washed-out, folded fabric from nurse’s hands. “My husband is not your patient. I am. I’m right here and I can speak and change myself.”

  “Oh, in that case, I’ll be back in a moment. Please make sure your wife is ready.” Cindy coughed in her fist and her cheeks blushed. She left the room.

  “Mrs. Medar, if I didn’t know you better, I’d say you’re jealous.” Tom winked at Olivia. “Don’t worry. I only have eyes for you.”

  “Me jealous?” Though she must admit, her lashing out at the nurse was an emotional display, but Tom didn’t need to know this. “The nurse couldn’t be less professional if she wanted.”

  “Could be worse, the hospital staff work long shifts. Cindy is trying hard to be pleasant.” He stood when Olivia slid the curtain open. “Do you need help getting to the changing room?”

  “I can manage.” She stepped into the narrow bathroom. Hell, her broom closet was bigger than this. In haste, she unbuttoned her shirt. She removed her blouse and trousers then slipped on the hospital gown. Light blue was not her color. The two sets of strings on the back of the gown presented a challenge, but she managed to tie them with some elaborate twisting.

  “Mr. Medar? Or can I call you Tom?” Cindy’s sugar-laced voice drifted to Olivia through the closed curtain. “Your wife is not ready yet? Cold day today, isn’t it? Getting ready for Christmas?”

  Olivia snapped the curtain open. Tom turned to her. A smile lit his face, replacing his bored expression.

  “If she’s ready, we can proceed,” the nurse said, twirling a few strands of her streaked blonde hair around her finger. When Olivia nodded, she pushed a wheelchair next to the bed. “Can she sit here?”

  Olivia stared at her transportation. “I need a moment alone with my husband.”

  Cindy’s eyebrows arched, her glance switched to Tom. “Of course. Let me know when you’re ready.”

  Olivia drew in a long breath, keeping an eye on Cindy’s slow retreat, then turned to Tom, unsure whether his concerned look or her dislike of medical buildings made her stomach flutter. “I don’t like hospitals.”

  Tom shrugged. “Who does?”

  “You don’t understand. I spent countless hours in waiting areas doing my homework while my mother dragged Tadem from one specialist to the next in some hopeless attempt to make her normal. When she finally realized the impossibility, she ditched her in the home for the infirm.”

  “Honey, your mother did the best she could for Tadem. And you have nothing to be afraid of.” He pulled her in his embrace and she took the opportunity to take in his scent again. His endearments grew on her. She loved it when he called her his honey. “I won’t let go of you.”

  His words boosted her with a pinch of encouragement and a realization. Perhaps her mother chose the best option. She wouldn’t be able to provide the kind of care Tadem required. Cindy approached. Tom wrapped one arm around Olivia’s shoulders and nudged her toward the wheelchair.

  “Must I sit in there?”

  “It’s just a procedure. I also need to ask if she has any implants, such as a pacemaker or cochlear implants.” Cindy tucked the pen in her scrub’s pocket.

  “No she doesn’t, but why do you keep asking me? My wife is right in front of you.” Tom’s sharp voice indicated he was getting annoyed at the nurse’s flirting. He brushed Olivia’s cheek. “I’m sure you can walk, honey. But please, sit in the chair so we can get this done.”

  Olivia snickered at Cindy’s beet red flush before getting in the chair. Served her right. The nurse took her for some ditz who couldn’t answer simple questions. “Let’s go.”

  “The procedure doesn’t hurt at all. In fact, some of our patients have said it’s quite relaxing.” Cindy pushed the wheelchair through the narrow corridor. “You may feel a bit warm. Oh, I hope you’re not claustrophobic, because the chamber is rather small, like a tunnel.”

  Olivia wrapped her fingers around Tom’s hand. The nurse must’ve finally understood his earlier scowl as a sign to change her tactics and address his wife. “If I were, I would have freaked out in the broom closet you call a changing room.”

  Cindy’s giggle bounced off the long corridor walls before she stopped and turned the wheelchair around. Pushing her butt against another door, she slid Olivia through. “We’re here.”

  An enormous metal machine occupied most of the space behind the glass wall. Its buzz filled the air. A tall man nodded to Tom then lowered his gaze to her. “Nice to see you again, Olivia.”

  She studied him. Dark hair touched by silver circled his handsome face. His gray eyes focused on her, but she was absolutely certain she had never seen him before.

  He read her baffled expression and extended his hand to her. “I’m Dr. Gregory Mason. I’ll examine your MRI.”

  Placing her hand in his, she licked her dry lips. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Mason. I understand you’re Susan’s husband.”

  “As I explained over the phone,” Tom addressed the doctor, worry apparent in his voice. “She’s been acting very strange since she’d got back from Vancouver.”

  “Yes, I’m Susan’s husband and we’ve met before.” Gregory pulled his hand away from Olivia, placing it on Tom’s forearm. “We’ll get to the bottom of this.” He waved at the white table protruding out of the round scanner. “I need you to lie down here. If you’d like some music, there are headphones attached to the console and feel free to cover your eyes with the mask from this box before we start. The examination will take about forty minutes and then we’ll go over the results.”

  “I’d like some music, thanks.” Olivia took Tom’s hand and pushed out of the wheelchair then climbed up onto the table. Holding the headphones above her head, she paused and looked at Dr. Mason. “You’ve been married to Susan for long?”

  “Since I convinced her she should thank you for saving her from a lifetime of heartache.”

  Olivia swallowed a lump
at the memories of losing her only friend. “Love blinded her.” Afraid Tom would think she was a boyfriend snatcher, Olivia darted a glance at him. “I wanted her to see she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life, but she wouldn’t listen. I knew she’d be back any moment so I invited her boyfriend to our dorm. He didn’t need any encouragement. When she caught me with him, she stormed out and I never saw her again.”

  Tom’s kiss on her temple instilled her with reassurance and eased her tight ribcage. This was the first time she’d confessed her guilt out loud and to another being. “You saw her two weekends ago.”

  No, it had been his wife who’d seen Susan. Olivia pressed her lips tight and fought the urge to blurt her theory. He thought she was going crazy already.

  A smile softened his eyes. “That’s in the past now, honey. Try to calm down and let Gregory proceed.”

  Soft music surrounded her ears as she placed the headphones on. She pulled the black eye patch on and lay back, willing her body to settle. Cindy had been right about one thing. The warmth in the tunnel, the new age music and cushy bed relaxed Olivia. By the third song she pictured green pastures sprinkled with yellow flowers. A little girl — one that looked like her at six years old — spun with her arms spread wide, the sun warming her face.

  Olivia couldn’t remember seeing the place before, but perhaps this meant her memories and those of Tom’s Olivia were beginning to blend. She gave in to the fuzziness in her head and floated as if on gentle waves for another song or maybe three. The same beeps she’d heard in Dr. Law’s office pierced through her haze.

  The music in the earphones ceased and Dr. Mason’s voice came through. “We’re done.” The table slid out of the tunnel and the low buzzing coming from the MRI machine stilled. “Remove the eye mask slowly to allow your vision to adjust to the bright lights in here.”

  “Come with me, Olivia.” Tom extended his hand to her. “It’s time to find out what’s wrong with you.”

  Olivia hesitated. Did she want to know? Not if she had a tumor or a brain injury.

  “Come on.” Tom’s gentle nudge melted away her doubts. “Whatever it is, it’s better than not knowing.”

  With her hand in his, she got on her feet and followed him to the desk where Dr. Mason sat viewing her MRI images.

  “This is quite perplexing,” he said, glancing at her then back at the computer screen where he pointed at the middle of the scan. “There are no signs of brain damage or any unusual growth. There is a slight elevation of the brainstem activity in your sleep promoting area. That is where REM sleep originates.”

  She leaned closer when Dr. Mason pointed to gray and black picture on the computer screen. “Are you saying I’m dreaming all of this?”

  The doctor slid his hands into the pockets of his white coat. “No, you’re awake and aware. I’m not certain why your brain is firing these neurons. Perhaps more observation is needed.”

  On the verge of disclosing her theory, she clamped her teeth and forced her thoughts to Tom. His wife would return someday soon, and she’d find herself once again in her empty house with not a soul for a friend. “So, what do I do now?”

  “You’re feeling fine, so I’ll discharge you. I hope Tom is satisfied with my decision.” Dr. Mason arched one eyebrow at Tom.

  Tom’s long, loud sigh confirmed her suspicion: Dr. Mason’s diagnosis, or lack of it, was not satisfactory. “At least promise me you’ll re-examine her scans and make certain you didn’t overlook something.”

  “I promise. And if her condition doesn’t improve or worsens with time, I’ll conduct another scan.” Dr. Mason extended his hand to Tom.

  Tom shook the doctor’s hand. “Thanks, Gregory. I appreciate this.”

  “Don’t mention it.” Dr. Mason extended his hand to Olivia. “Don’t beat yourself over this. Take it easy. Even the smallest thing can trigger your memory to return and I hope it does.”

  If he only knew that her memory never left her. She took his hand and shook it. “I do hope so too, Dr. Mason. Thank you for all your help.”

  Olivia met Tom in the hallway. Frigid air wrapped around her as soon as she stepped onto the sidewalk. She welcomed the coldness, hoping it would help clear her head.

  “I’m parked just over there.” Tom pointed to a row of cars in the emergency parking lot.

  The sight of her Nissan Quest brought her a sense of home. “Where’s your car?”

  “I cabbed to Dr. Law’s office and drove your van.” He took her hand. “You must be hungry. Have you eaten at all today?”

  She pressed her hand on her growling stomach. “Now that you mention it, I’m starving.”

  “I’ve a nice stew simmering in the slow cooker.” He opened the door for her then shut it after she took her seat.

  When he slid behind the wheel, his nubuck coat creaked. “Let’s go home. The babysitter has an early class tomorrow.”

  Wow! He’d thought of everything. In all this craziness, she’d forgotten about the kids. She studied his aquiline profile in the fading light of the short wintry day. She was getting used to him looking after her. When his real wife returned and she got pulled back to her ordinary world, it would be so hard to go on day after day without him.

  Perhaps it would be better if she never disclosed her theory to him, or helped him solve the attempted murder case. She could stay in his world forever.

  No, it wouldn’t be fair. This sweet man deserved to have his wife back and his children needed their mother. That was something she could never be.

  With a hard swallow, she clamped down a sudden desire to play his wife. “Tom, I think I know the source of this confusion.”

  CHAPTER 6

  The crawl of evening rush hour traffic along Young Street put Tom’s patience to a severe test, but getting angry at the gridlock wouldn’t open the road ahead of him. Fresh snow crunched beneath the tires while his foot pressed down on the brake pedal. His Nissan Quest stopped behind a long line of red taillights at the intersection illuminated by street lights and shop windows. Heat poured from the car’s vents, his hands warmed up enough to remove his gloves.

  Dancing snowflakes flickered in the headlights, reminding him of gold dust in a fairy tale he read to Milo every night before bed. The memory calmed his thumping fingers on the steering wheel.

  He turned to Olivia and his chest clenched. Her reflection on the tinted passenger’s window showed she raked her fingers through her hair. She sat stiff spined, her brow furrowed. He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and gained her attention. “Don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind. Gregory said the smallest thing can be important. If you have any theory about your memory loss, please tell me.”

  She licked her lips, leaving behind a trail of glistening moisture. “I may sound crazy. I haven’t thought this through. But let me wing it, no matter how farfetched, okay?”

  Tom cupped her chin. She closed her eyes at his finger stroking her cheek. “You won’t sound crazy.”

  Her grey eyes shone like the slivers of moon when she opened them again. “Do you believe in the alternate life theory?”

  His grip on her chin tightened. This was the last thing he expected. “You’re not talking about the website where one can create some virtual life?”

  “No.” She lowered his hand, but kept a hold on him. “What I mean is … your wife and I somehow switched places. She lives my life while I’m here in hers.”

  Tom’s stomach flipped and he stared at her. Then he burst into laughter. His first guess about the website seemed less threatening. “You’re right. That is farfetched. You can’t really believe that.”

  “I don’t know what to believe anymore, but this is all I’ve got.” Her tone turned icy and stern, and she shoved his hand from her lap. He curbed his laughter and reconsidered. Unbelievable as it sounded, her theory somehow made sense.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed,” he said, straightening and pushing the gas pedal to follow the slow moving traffic ahead b
efore braking again. “But how could an alternate life be possible?”

  “I’ve read many books on the topic and in every single one, there’s a higher power moving us helpless humans like chess pieces.”

  “Honey, I believe the term for those books is fiction.” Olivia scowled and looked away, but not before he’d seen the hurt in her eyes. He regretted his words and took her hand. Perhaps he shouldn’t have been sarcastic, but he knew his wife and never before had she babbled such nonsense.

  “Don’t mock me. I’m aware of the fact this may be a crazy talk. What I’m saying is your real wife will return after I fulfill some task or quest I’ve been sent to do here.”

  “I’m sorry, but this is hard for me to comprehend. If I’ve got this right, you’re on a quest.” The wheels locked as he turned onto their unplowed street. He slammed on the brakes before putting the car right into a snow drift. “Ugh! First snowstorm always catches the city by surprise. They are unprepared and everyone forgets how to drive in these conditions as if winter never happened before.” He turned to Olivia, her white knuckles clutching to the seatbelt. “My apology — I wasn’t prepared for the hard braking. Go on.”

  “All I know is some games are meant to be played until the end and I’ve yet to discover my purpose.” She paused, averted her glance to her lap. He placed his hand over hers, stopping her twiddling thumbs. Her nervous gesture was a signal she had more to say. After years of marriage, her gestures were as familiar to him as his own face. He decided patience was his best bet. She needed time to open up to him on her own.

  Reluctantly he let go of her hand, pushed the button on the garage clicker and turned the car onto their driveway. Thank God for SUVs. Plows would not clear their side street until the morning and, as usual, block the foot of the driveway. He would shovel it then. “All right, honey. What can I do to help?”