Russell's Return

by Ellis, J. J.

  “Oh yum, your mom bakes the best pies.” She took the tin from him and held it near her nose. “Smells so good, would you care to join me for a piece?” She stepped aside so he could walk in.

  “Oh, I don’t know…” He knew he should just take off running right then and there. It would be best for everyone. But of course that would be rude and he hadn’t been raised to be rude.

  “Come on. I insist. Some of it is bound to go to waste if I don’t share it.”

  Russell was actually getting hungry for dessert. Maybe one piece wouldn’t hurt. At least he hoped it wouldn’t. He’d occasionally had to fight down small feelings of doom since he’d first run into Miss Emily Zane.

  “Well, good company and my mom’s apple pie,” he winked. “How can I say no to that?” He knew he was flirting but just couldn’t stop himself. Flirting hadn’t been enjoyable for a long, long time. Surprisingly right now, it felt pretty good.

  Russell followed Emily inside and couldn’t believe that this was the old bunk house he used to hang out in as a little boy. “I can’t see any cowboys ever having made this place their home. It was always so messy when the ranch hands lived here. You’ve done an amazing job.”

  “Tell your mom that, she did it all. It’s a two bedroom one bath now. All I did was move in and add some personal touches...” She paused for a moment. “Wait, you were here when this place was a working ranch?” she asked curiously.

  Russell chuckled. “Yeah, my dad started and ran the theater and my uncle took over the ranch before I was born. We had both for many years until Uncle Jim died and we couldn’t keep up the ranch anymore.”

  Emily nodded in understanding. “Okay now I get it. There for a while I thought maybe you were older than I believed you to be. I was going to ask if you had flunked a few grades before I moved here in middle school.” They just stood there smiling at each other like a couple of crushing teenagers.

  Emily finally showed him into the dining room where he sat down at her small oak dining table as she went about cutting the pie and pouring coffee. “Did you hear about Miranda?” he asked although he was pretty sure he knew the answer. She’d said she would keep an eye on his daughter and he felt she would be true to her word.

  “I hear she did great today in school.” Emily set a piece of pie and some coffee in front of Russell and returned to the dark blue granite counter to get hers.

  “Yes, she did thank goodness and she is sure fond of you.”

  “Well, I’m becoming quite fond of her too. She is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. And you know, she is brilliant. Her test scores are through the roof.” She joined him at the table.

  Russell couldn’t help but smile. “Miranda’s always been a very bright girl. Well beyond her years in many ways.” He didn’t mention the ways in which she was still like a toddler.

  It was hard for him to concentrate on their conversation with Emily so close, even if talk centered on his favorite person in the whole world and that just seemed so wrong. “Can you believe I show up on your doorstep unannounced and I come into your home and make you talk about work? Kind of rude I think,” he smiled at her.

  “Happens in my line of work all the time, don’t worry.” That laugh again. That smile again. All of a sudden the pie seemed to stick in Russell’s throat. It took a few sips of coffee to relieve the swollen feeling.

  “Okay, let’s change the subject. What exactly brought you back to Harper’s Rock? I understand it was hard giving up the life you’d made for yourself and Miranda, but what exactly happened to make you do something that drastic? If you don’t mind my asking that is.”

  “Oh Miss Zane, it’s a long and boring story.”

  “We aren’t parent and counselor here. It’s just Emily now.”

  He nodded his agreement. “Then it’s just Russell too.”

  She smiled. “Well Russell, let me be the judge of whether your story is boring or not. You’d be surprised at what I find utterly fascinating.” That smile again, only more teasing this time.

  His heartbeat stuttered. He thought he understood the hidden meaning behind Emily’s words, it was written all over her face. She was actually flirting with him. But then again, maybe she wasn’t. He really could be wrong. It had been so long since he had any social contact with a woman, he just didn’t know anymore. If it turned out she hadn’t been flirting with him he was going to feel really stupid. Sheesh, he was enjoying this way too much. And he definitely shouldn’t be.

  “So you really want to hear my story?” he asked unbelieving.

  “Yes, I do. I find this all very interesting. Maybe because I have my own special reasons for moving home, I want to compare notes.”

  “Why don’t you tell me your story then,” he hinted.

  She laughed. “Not a chance. Besides, I asked you first. Maybe someday when you want to hear something short and tragic, I’ll tell you my story.”

  He looked at her curiously but didn’t push, he sensed she wasn’t really in the mood to talk about herself right now. “Okay,” he sighed, resigned to his fate. At least he might get to see her again soon so she could tell him her story. “Well, as I told you before, my wife - my ex-wife - took off two years ago. She left without a word. She was gone for six months before I got a post card saying she just couldn’t deal with Miranda anymore.”

  Emily gasped. “It took her six months to let you know why she left? Wow!” Emily was incredulous. “How awful for both of you. Does she ever see Miranda?” It was whispered like she was afraid of hearing the answer.

  “She has absolutely no contact with our daughter. Her choice,” he emphasized. “Anyway, I was busy running my corporation, the one that owns the three restaurants I told you about earlier, and trying to be a single father to a ‘difficult’ child.” He used air quotes to emphasize the hated words. “Doctor’s term, not mine,” he made sure to stress.

  “How on earth did you manage it all?” She was interested enough to interrupt.

  “It wasn’t easy. At least trying to manage it wasn’t easy. I never did master it. I started having to turn a lot of my work duties over to others so I could be there for her.”

  “She must have liked that. Did it help her cope any better?” Emily was professionally curious so she leaned forward in her chair.

  “No, it didn’t help,” he sighed. “I loved the idea of spending more time with my daughter, but it was getting harder to deal with her. The older she got, the worse things got.” Russell paused seeming to think on what he wanted to say next. “I was literally at my wits end. I dreaded going home, I hated being home. I just wanted to scream and that’s just what I did - at Miranda - way too often.” He seemed embarrassed by his admission.

  “I can tell by your voice that you hated yourself for doing it though.” Emily gave him a gentle comforting smile. “What made you realize that maybe you were in over your head, or was it the realization that you were yelling so much that did it?” she asked gently.

  “Someone I respect very much helped me realize I was in too deep when they heard me lose my temper with Miranda.” Russell smiled and had a faraway look on his face as if remembering. “I was talking on the phone with my mom one day and I went off on Miranda. But instead of getting mad at me, my very patient, saint of a mother suggested that we move here so she could help me, you know, give me a break once in a while.”

  “And I bet I know what you said to that,” she smiled.

  He laughed, “And you’d be right. At first I absolutely refused. It grossed me out,” he joked using words that Miranda favored to describe something she hated. “But really, seriously, I couldn’t stand the thought of coming back here. And I felt like a failure. I couldn’t handle one small child when single fathers do great things all the time.” He sighed. “But then, after some alone time and some soul searching, I realized I was being selfish and decided to move back here for Miranda’s sake.”

  “I think you are one of the most unselfish people I’ve ever met.
Most people would just have hired a nanny for the kid or pawned her completely off on a relative.”

  Russell was looking down at his plate. “I couldn’t have done that.” His gaze shifted to the window.

  “What do you mean? Why not?” There was more to what he was saying and Emily really wanted to know what it was. She encouragingly put her warm hand over his cold one. His heartbeat stuttered again at her touch and his whole body grew warm. And there was that brief sense of doom again.

  “I guess I just feel that Miranda’s behavior is somehow all my fault and I can’t pawn my own creation off on someone else.”

  “It’s not your fault, Russell,” she said quietly. “From what you’ve said, it sounds like Miranda has always been this way. There has got to be something else behind it. You need to keep digging and searching until you find a reason, or a therapy, that works for her. There are a lot of new things out there for working with troubled kids Miranda’s age.”

  “We’ve tried so many already.” Russell was clenching his fists and Emily knew a very frustrated man when she saw one.

  “You just need to keep trying till something finally fits,” she said matter-of-factly as she sat back in her chair with a thud. She had an idea, but still needed to do a bit of research before she got his hopes up.

  Russell couldn’t help but smile. Except for those underlying glimpses of sadness, Emily seemed like she tried hard to always be a positive person and it was rubbing off on him. Or at least he hoped it was. He had been in a negative place for so long that he was actually craving some positive emotion for once. The question was, could he keep it up until his perspective could change. Sometimes he thought he was just too worn out.

  “Could I get you some more pie or coffee?” Emily asked.

  Russell looked at his watch and wiped a strong hand across the back of his neck. “No, I’d best be going. Ma and Miranda will think I got lost. Thanks for the food and company though. It isn’t often I get to talk to people my own age, outside of work.” In that split second Russell realized he’d been lonely and that worried him. Loneliness could get you into big trouble. You might do things to cure that loneliness that just weren’t good for you at the time.

  Russell looked up, into her hypnotizing eyes and then down at her beautiful lips. He felt an almost unbearable urge to kiss her. “Uh yeah, I’d better go,” he murmured, jumping up from his chair to head to the living room. He couldn’t kiss her now. He couldn’t be involved with anyone. He couldn’t kiss her, ever.

  Emily followed him to the door. “Tell your mom I’ll bring her tin back as soon as I can.”

  “Will do,” he said abruptly as he stepped out the door.

  “Good night,” she called from her porch.

  Russell stopped and turned back. In two quick strides, he was standing in front of her, his hands on her shoulders. He leaned in and she pulled his head down so that their lips met in a gentle kiss. It wasn’t quite enough for either of them and they deepened it until he pulled away, breathing hard. “I’m sorry,” he stated loud and clear.

  “It’s okay Russell,” she whispered.

  “I swear you hypnotize me, woman,” he mumbled into the night as he walked away.

  His last vision of Emily was one of her lightly rubbing her lips with her delicate fingers, against the backdrop of the little blue house and the rolling valley behind her. A vision that would haunt him throughout the night. “And I can’t help but love it,” he whispered after he was far enough away that she couldn’t hear. “But it’s so wrong.”

  CHAPTER 3

  Labor Day Monday dawned sunny and warm in Harper’s Rock. A huge difference from Friday when a surprise early season snowstorm had hit town. Now the snow was gone, and it was supposed to reach seventy-eight degrees by four o’clock, making it the perfect day for the town’s annual Labor Day Picnic and Carnival. Not that Russell really wanted to go, but he promised his mother that he would let her work for him and take Miranda to socialize. His daughter was doing great in school, not quite on par with other kids, but her tantrums and fits of frustration were way down. So they were going to the festivities as a reward. Russell really wasn’t looking forward to it, but surprisingly, it was something that Miranda wanted to do, so he would manage.

  Russell’s brothers would also be there. Logan, the stable, dependable grocery store owner and Dylan, the wild and crazy wilderness guide with a girl in every port - or in his case - in every small Wyoming town. At least with them around, he wouldn’t have to make too much small talk with people he didn’t really know anymore. It seemed his mother was also concerned about his lack of a social life. Almost daily she reminded him that he would be happier if he went out and rekindled some of his old friendships. But that wasn’t an option for him yet; he wasn’t quite ready for other people to become involved in his life. He was way too focused on Miranda at this point. And now it was time to wake her up so they could get ready to leave. There was only an hour until the start of the event.

  “Hey sweet baby, time to wake up! We have a picnic to go to.” Russell gently shook his daughter’s shoulder and she sat right up in bed. That surprised him so much he jumped back. Miranda was the hardest person in the world to wake up, except for today apparently.

  “Yay! I can’t wait, Daddy. Uncle Logan said he would bring me some donuts and Uncle Dylan said he was going to bring his doggie Rizzy so I could play with her.”

  “Well then you should probably get up and get ready so we can go.” He kissed her forehead and stood up to leave.

  “Hey Daddy?” she asked so quietly that he almost didn’t hear her.

  “Yeah?” The pitch of her voice told him that somehow this wasn’t going to be pleasant.

  “Is Miss Emily going to be there? Can we share our picnic with her? I really like her. She’s pretty don’t you think?” And then she went quiet with breathlessness.

  Russell snapped his mouth shut. He’d been standing there with it open since Miranda first muttered Emily’s name. He couldn’t have his daughter knowing how much her questions affected him. That feeling of excitement and dread all wrapped together made his mind race, and he had no idea what to say. But then his survival instinct quickly kicked in and he dove in head first. “Um, well, sweetie, I’m not sure if Miss Emily will be there or not, and if she is, I’m sure she’ll be with her family. She’ll probably have her own picnic stuff so I don’t think she’ll need to share with us.” He tousled her hair and started to walk out of the room again, not letting on that he had gone breathless too because he’d said everything nervously in one breath.

  “Daddy! You didn’t tell me if you think she’s pretty.” Miranda looked expectantly at her father.

  Russell had hoped she wouldn’t remember that she’d asked that question. But of course, now that she had, he needed to come up with an answer. “I...I guess she’s pretty, sweetie. But no one is as pretty as you. Now get ready or we’re going to be late.” This time he made it out the door without any more awkward questions.

  Russell hadn’t even thought about Emily Zane being at the picnic. But he knew just about everyone in town came out to celebrate on Labor Day so she would most likely be there, a complication he didn’t want to think about. Their kiss had been a huge mistake, one that could never, ever be repeated. First because he really didn’t want to complicate Miranda’s life any more than it already was, and second because he didn’t want his heart broken ever again. And he knew sharing more sweet kisses with Emily Zane would lead straight to heartbreak hell.

  Town Center Park, literally in the center of town, was the pride and joy of Harper’s Rock. There was something for everyone. Wide-open grassy spaces for the sports enthusiasts, hiking trails that wound through over a mile of wooded area, and a small fish pond for weekend fishermen. Of course it also had your regular park attractions like four picnic/barbecue areas and two playgrounds for the kids. Russell and Miranda meandered along the beautifully groomed stone paths, past the pond, to the place where they pla
nned to meet Dylan and Logan.

  The beautiful old park actually did hold some good, well actually some great, memories for Russell. Childhood games, carnivals and picnics - all stuff that happened before he started to feel stifled by the small town that bore his family’s name. Some of Russell’s fondest memories here were of the days he and his brothers spent climbing on the big, old rock that his great-great grandfather had camped by a hundred years ago.

  Almost from the beginning everyone called the old flat slab ‘Harper’s Rock’ because the crazy old man wouldn’t let anyone else near it. He washed and dried his clothes on it, ground his spices and coffee on it and even sharpened his knives on it. Every sunny day his neighbors in the settlement would see him climb up and sit, basking in the sun.

  Slowly but surely as the settlement grew, Josiah Harper became its most famous resident because of his eccentricities. And soon, his rock became the number one landmark to identify the area. A town was born - named Harper’s Rock - after its most famous resident and his main obsession. Despite Josiah’s strange ways, he led the town for more than twenty years.

  The modern day park had been built around the rock sometime in the early sixties after numerous complaints to the town council about the lack of places to have family fun. And over the years, it had grown into the entertainment hub it was today. If there was ever a town-wide celebration, this was the place where it is held. And more kids than a person can count celebrate one birthday or another at Town Center Park.

  By 10 AM neither Harper brother had appeared yet. A few minutes later Russell’s cell phone rang giving him a very bad feeling. For good reason too. Unfortunately Logan wouldn’t be coming because a friend had an emergency to deal with and he wanted to help. The ever responsible and diligent Logan was always there to lend a helping hand. The middle Harper brother said he’d send someone down to the park with some donuts for Miranda as soon as he could.