Holidaze

by L. Divine

  “Is she telling the story of how one of her wives in Oyotunji didn’t let her stay at the house after she already invited her?” my mom asks, walking in the door and surprising us both. She came straight from work and looks nice in her office attire, pantyhose and all. I miss watching my mom get ready for work. “Mama, you’ve got to let it go.”

  “Almost wife—and it was just plain rude, period.” I haven’t had a chance to talk to her in-depth about her life in the same village where Mr. Adewale grew up. It’s weird to think of Mama having a life before she was married to Daddy. It’s even stranger to think of her as being anyone’s third wife. Mama’s got diva written all over her. I don’t know exactly what went down between her and the dude she almost married, but I know it’s a juicy story and well worth the wait.

  “Whatever. All I know is that it was ages ago. Don’t you know holding on to the past can you make sick?” My mom makes herself comfortable on the edge of my twin bed, kicking her shoes off.

  “Yes, I do,” Mama says, glaring at her eldest child. “That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?” They both look at me, and seem remorseful that I’m suffering. But I know with the two of them on my side I’ll be okay. I just hope this works.

  “So we’re really going to do this? Go back and change what happened?”

  “Yes, Jayd, we are. Are you ready? Misty should be next door at Esmeralda’s by now, and we don’t have any time to lose. The potion will wear off soon if we don’t get moving.” I shake my head, not sure what I’m agreeing to, or if I’m truly ready.

  “Lynn Marie, hand me the book and then make the veve for our baba.” My mom picks up the heavy antique binding with our lineage’s history in it and passes it to her mother.

  “I used to love drawing this cross,” my mom says, taking the cornmeal off the dresser and pouring it on the floor next to the family shrine.

  “For us, Legba’s veve is an apotropaic symbol, Jayd, one that wards off evil and opens the road for clarity and focus so we can pick the right way to go. When you see this symbol in your dreams or in this reality, pay close attention.” Mama can be cryptic sometimes. All of this information is too much on a sistah’s mind if I’m supposed to be falling asleep.

  “Oh Jayd, stop bitching,” my mom says aloud. I hate when she reads my mind and then scolds me aloud for thinking what I think. What the hell kind of fate is this? “I can still hear you, little girl.”

  “What’s the point of me having thoughts if my mind is under constant supervision?” I ask.

  “Enough, girls. We have work to do.” Mama begins pouring the libation to the ancestors, chanting a song I’ve never heard before. I slowly give in to the melodic drumbeat coming from Mama’s hand movements. The pulsation of the heavy thumps course through my body like a cold chill, like when I dreamt of Misty taking my sight.

  “At least now we know how and when Esmeralda and Misty took your powers. And we also know that Misty is the mule, not her mom, which is beneficial to us.”

  “How is it beneficial that I have to go to school with my mortal enemy, who also happens to live around the corner from me?”

  “It’s always in our benefit to have our enemies close and accessible, and Misty just so happens to be both.”

  “Not to mention stupid,” my mom says, chewing on her gum fast, like it’s going to jump out of her mouth if she slows down. “The girl’s elevator’s not going all the way to the top floor, if you know what I mean.”

  “Lynn Marie, that’s enough,” Mama says, slamming the spirit book closed. Her eldest daughter works Mama’s nerves like no one else can. It’s funny to see them together. Jay’s mother is never around. The older my mother gets the more she favors Mama, and that’s definitely a compliment. “You don’t talk bad about other people’s children. I know I taught you better than that.”

  “I do when they’re trying to kill my baby. That girl is deaf, dumb, and stupid as far as I’m concerned, and Jayd needs to know it, just like that.” Mama rolls her jade eyes at my mom, who promptly mirrors Mama’s movements. “Jayd, you need to kick this girl’s ass in both the spiritual realm and the physical. There are times to play nice and then there are times to fight dirty. This is a time to fight, Jayd.”

  “I already did that and it got me put on lockdown for a week.”

  “I think what your mother is trying to say is that there’s a difference between choosing to let your powers go—like some stupid people do—and having them taken from you unwillingly,” Mama says, causing my mother to sigh. I know she gets tired of Mama rubbing that fact of life in her face. I’m sure now my mom thinks it would’ve been easier to keep up with her lessons than hear this shit almost every time she and Mama talk.

  “I thought you weren’t supposed to call people’s children stupid,” my mom says, rising from her cozy position on the corner of my bed and pacing around the room. Mama always brings out the teenager in my mom.

  “Other people’s children. I can call my own children whatever the hell I want to, especially when I’m telling the truth.” Mama smiles at my mom, who’s now completely frustrated with our conversation. This is the longest she’s stayed at Mama’s house in a while without it being a family holiday, like this past Christmas. I’m sure she’d rather be celebrating Valentine’s Day weekend with her boo, like everyone else in love.

  “Okay you two, back to your corners.” I always play referee between the two of them. Mama says it’s part of my destiny and not to complain, because I chose to be in this moment before I was born. I wish I could choose to be out of it just as easily.

  “Okay, ladies, we have work to do and it starts with Jayd falling asleep and you sticking with her, Lynn Marie. Here,” Mama says, handing us each objects from the tiered shrine next to her bed. “Now that we have asked Legba to open the road we can get to work. We’ll need all of our ancestors to help us out of this mess,” Mama says, leading the way out of the house and to the back. The spirit room is where it all goes down.

  When we get to the backyard, we hear loud chanting and drumming coming from next door. Lexi begins to howl at the sound of Esmeralda’s voice. I guess they figured out Misty’s been slipped a magic micky.

  “We can do better than that,” Mama says, continuing her steps to the backhouse where the spirit room is housed. We can smell the cigarette smoke coming from the adjacent garage where my uncles chill. How they stay in that dark-ass, musty space doing nothing all day with the door down is beyond me.

  “Mama, I’ve never seen you so competitive before,” my mom says, walking into the small house and looking around like it’s the first time she’s been back here. We each remove our shoes at the threshold. Mama closes the door behind her before placing the objects on the table. I instinctively go to the small shrine at the back of the room to place my objects down while my mom gets reacquainted with the energy in this space.

  “No, Jayd. Set them here on the table. You too, little Lynn.” Mama directs us both to wash our hands and get ready to get down. “Lynn Marie, hand me that bata drum behind you. Jayd, lie down on the floor in front of the shrine. We don’t have any time to waste. They’re already there waiting for us.”

  “Where, Mama?” I ask, a little scared of where she’s sending us.

  “In the past. That’s what we’re going to use Misty’s dreams for. The sooner we get there the sooner we can return. Lynn Marie, you need to open with a song to Legba so he can help you guide our child in the right direction. Once you’re asleep I’ll take care of the rest.”

  “Esu ma se mi o,” my mother sings, beginning our opening chant. I’m glad she’s praying for less confusion, because I don’t know what the hell is going on.

  “Remember, Jayd. Birth and death are the only two things that cannot be negotiated. Everything else in between is malleable. Focus on everything you wrote down that you want to change and get to it, girl. You have a lot of work to do.” I begin to drift off with the sound of my mother’s voice carrying me along.

  O
nce inside my dream world, the first thing I notice is that it’s very bright. The light’s almost blinding, but I can make out several shapes ahead. I begin my trek to Misty’s dream, which is where I’m going to change as much as I can before she wakes up. Mama’s drumming is still audible, but the further I walk into my dream the softer the beats become.

  As I drift off into my alternate reality, visions of women dancing with snakes creep into my thoughts. My dream vision is hazy, but I can make out Maman Marie’s silhouette among the fire-lit circle of bodies. I stare at her fierce body movements as she matches the fast tempo of the drums, beat for beat. I can’t tell if she’s dancing to the drummer or the drummer’s playing to her. Either way, they’re in perfect sync.

  The next image that comes into my mind is of Legba’s veve, like the one at the shrine in Mama’s room. But instead of just one, there are hundreds of them lined up in a row, like a trail.

  “Follow the veves, Jayd. That’s Legba leading you home.” I can see the illuminated symbols leading back out of Misty’s dream, which is where the light is leading up ahead.

  I now see images that don’t belong to me. They must be a part of Misty’s dream. As the shapes become clearer I notice that one of them is Misty’s grandmother, who passed away a couple of months ago. That’s when Misty and her mama joined forces with Esmeralda and my nightmare began. If I could bring her back to life it wouldn’t help much. According to Mama, and from my brief interaction with the woman, she was as evil as Esmeralda is, but without the powers.

  “Jayd, focus,” my mom says. “We don’t have all night. Get in and out as quickly as possible.” Damn, why does she have to put so much pressure on a sistah? I hear her though. I don’t want to be here any longer than necessary.

  I concentrate on the first violation of Misty’s personal life, which came from Mickey. Seeing Misty’s thoughts up ahead, I focus intently on going back to that day Mickey called her out in front of the lunch quad for catching gonorrhea, after she ratted out Mickey’s pregnancy. I felt as helpless then as I do now that Misty’s taken her revenge out on me.

  “I’m in,” I say to my mom. I can feel her mind relax a bit, knowing that I’m on the right path. Now I have to carefully undo everything that has been done over the past couple of months, ending with all of the drama we went through this past Christmas. The drumbeats are hard and heavy now as I begin unweaving the tangled web where Misty and Esmeralda are holding my sight captive.

  “In your visions there was something distinctively powerful about each situation. Use that power now to help you get your sight back,” Mama says. I can hear her in my mind just as clearly as I can hear my mom. Like I said before, Mama’s gangster with her powers. “Stay focused on the drums and they will carry you home.”

  “Now fight her, Jayd. You’re not alone.” My mom’s words resonate deep inside of me and I’m ready to beat Misty at her own game. If she can steal my sight without my permission, I can damn sure go into her dreams and get it back without hers.

  “The potion is working.” I can see through Misty’s eyes, and for now she can’t do anything to stop me from taking my vision back. I see all that she sees, carefully undoing everything she and Esmeralda have done. It’s like I’m unraveling an intricate woven mind web. I’m sailing through the pictures in Misty’s mind, making them how they would have been had she not prayed for something different. This is the last time I sleep on my job.

  It feels like when I’m sleepwalking as one of my ancestors again, except this time I’m my friend-turned-enemy. If there was a mirror around I think I’d go completely insane seeing myself as Misty in her dream. That’s a picture that would be forever etched into my mind. I guess this is how Lady Macbeth must’ve felt when she was sleepwalking after she murdered the king. My sleepwalking doesn’t stem from guilt, but it is just as destructive as hers was. Fortunately in my case, what’s done can, and most certainly will, be undone come hell or high water.

  “Jayd, summon our ancestors and elders through your mo jubas. It’s time to finish what they’ve started.” Mama reminds me of my prayers. I call on my ancestors’ names like I did at Tre’s service, like I’m supposed to do on a daily basis. They all appear in my dream, ready to help me back home. I also see Tre in my vision. He smiles and I smile back at him. I hope he knows I’ll keep his memory alive, even if he’s not my kin.

  “Okay Jayd, it’s time to go. Make sure you’ve put everything back in place the way you envisioned it,” Mama says. From what I can see, everything is as it was before Misty went on her hater rampage. I just hope it sticks in reality. I guess I’ll find out when I wake up.

  I rub my sleep-encrusted eyes with my knuckles and yawn loudly like I’ve been asleep for days. I push myself upright in my bed and see Mama standing over me. Why is she looking at me like I was dead and now I’m coming back to life? I look around the small room and start to come to a little bit. I feel hazy, like I did after my breast reduction. I was under anesthesia for several hours and when I finally woke up I didn’t even know what day it was, much like I feel right now.

  “Jayd, are you hungry, baby? Here, have some breakfast,” Mama says, placing a breakfast tray on the bed beside me.

  “What time is it?” I ask, taking a banana off of the tray of food. I’m starving.

  “A little after eleven.”

  “What? I’m going to miss the entire school day,” I say, ready to jump out of bed and get dressed, damn the shower. With all of my recent absences I can’t afford to miss another day.

  “It’s Saturday, Jayd, remember? Yesterday was the Valentine’s Day dance. You came back here afterward.” I look at Mama, completely dumbfounded by her words. I’m never here on the weekends. And I damn sure don’t remember any dance or coming back to Compton after. Why would I do that?

  “Mama, I’m drawing a complete blank,” I say, stuffing one of the mini croissants into my mouth now that I’ve inhaled the banana. Mama’s put a complete spread out of fresh fruit, croissants, and yogurt, with juice and tea to accompany it. Mama rarely makes breakfast, let alone serves it in bed to me or anyone else. What gives?

  “I know, baby. But as the day progresses you’ll get your memory back. And the more sleep you get the more rested you’ll feel. Eat up. And don’t forget to take your pills. You only have one more dose left.” I notice the bottle of medicine on the tray with Dr. Whitmore’s label on it.

  “My dreams,” I whisper, remembering part of my dream last night. “They’re back to normal.”

  “Yes, baby, they are.” Mama pats my head and smiles as I continue devouring my food. It feels weird being here on a Saturday, but if this is how it is I’ll be here more often.

  “No, little one. Mama’s only doing this to help you gain your strength back. Once you’re up and running again it’s back to the regular grind for you,” my mom says, setting me straight. Mama looks at me, knowing my mom’s in my head.

  “Tell your mother she left her scarf here. You can take it to her this afternoon when you go over there.”

  “I assume you heard that,” I think back to my mom. My mouth’s too full to speak.

  “Yes, I did. Rest up, baby, and I’ll see you in the morning. I didn’t get to see my man last night since I was fooling around with you, so we’re going to make up for it tonight, especially with it being Valentine’s Day and all. Smooches and I love you, girl.”

  “Last night? What happened last night?” Mama stops putting her laundry up and sits at the foot of her bed directly across from mine. She stares at me so intently, forcing my eyes to lock with hers. Her eyes begin to glow and mine feel like they’re glowing right along with them.

  Through Mama’s eyes, I see everything that happened last night, right down to me getting my sight back from Misty. I look under the blankets and notice I’m fully dressed from last night, but my bracelets are gone. Everything must be back to normal, or at least our version of it.

  “You can walk out the front door again. No need to sneak aro
und the back. Esmeralda won’t try that shit again. She now knows just how strong your brown eyes really are.” Mama looks at me with tears in her eyes. She was really afraid of losing another daughter in our legacy to Esmeralda’s evil ass.

  “I’ll never allow myself to become that distracted again,” I say, joining her on her bed and hugging her tightly. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss my dreams until they were out of my control. I’m so grateful Mama and our ancestors were there to help me regain my sight.

  “Yes you will, girl. But now you know how to get back on track. And more importantly, you know how to work your vision. That’s the most important thing. Cherish your gift, Jayd, and you’ll never lose it again.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I say, wiping away my tears.

  “Now, get up and get moving. The day’s almost gone and there’s work to be done, especially since you have your sight back. Our clients are waiting, my dear.” Every day Mama stays on her grind, and so do I. I feel like my old self, and that’s a blessing indeed.

  I didn’t bother showering before changing my clothes, since I’m going straight to my mom’s house. I packed my bag in record time and am ready to leave and enjoy the new day. Walking out of the house, I see Misty and her mother leaving as well. I wonder how she feels now that I’ve stripped her of the powers she tried to steal from me. Maybe she has amnesia just like I did this morning.

  “Good morning,” I say to them both. I don’t want to be rude, even if they did try to kill my vision. They both look at me, scolding me with their weak eyes. Misty’s have returned to their normal pretty brown and I’m glad for it. I smile in recognition: they do remember the fight they just lost.

  I can’t wait to get to Rah’s house for the Valentine’s Day session this evening. If all is well in the world, my crew should be tight like glue. There’s nothing like being home for the holidays, and every other day of the year. And the best part about being home is chilling with my friends.