"Camille, I know it looked as if I was about to screw Cay, but that was not the case. I have been racking my brain how I can convince you of the truth, and I haven't come up with any idea. I can only repeat myself and tell you what really happened, over and over. You don't have to give me a chance if you don't want to, but you have to believe me, for I couldn't bear the thought of this standing between us forever," He explains in an urgent tone.
"It wouldn't," I whisper.
"Why not?"
"Because I applied to the University of Texas, to continue my studies there. I wouldn't return to Coral Gables anyway," I answer.
"Because of me," he states.
"Yes ... no, because I have been homesick, too. You were only the last straw that broke the camel's back, Delsin."
He holds out his hand. "Come sit with me."
I swallow hard, but then I nod and take his hand. I flop down next to him, which will lead to a sore backside tomorrow.
Delsin puts an arm around me. "You shouldn't run away because of me," he says softly.
"My homesickness is the largest part."
"You could overcome that, Caramel. Sometimes I feel like throwing it all away and running scared, too, but I don't yield to that impulse. I know I have friends who would be disappointed, who would not understand. If you stay here, Avery would be sad. Hailey and Thally would be disappointed. I don't want to blackmail you, but it hasn't been two weeks since you told me that it had been your dream, studying in Miami."
"It has become a nightmare. I barely made my credit score, the semester was everything but great, and the end was a disaster."
His warm fingertips touch my cool skin. At first it feels like the pricking of tiny needles, but then I relax and it turns into a pleasant sensation.
"My only complaint is the ending. The end between you and me, I mean," Delsin murmurs.
I stare at the oak tree. The heart with my parents' initials seems to laugh at me. "As a kid, I used to sit in front of this tree and wonder when my initials would be carved into the bark," I whisper. It's a shady attempt at changing the subject, but maybe it'll work.
Delsin studies the bark. "If you gave me another chance, I'd spend the night carving ours deep into the tree."
"You're all putting a lot of pressure on me."
He sighs. "I know, and it's the last thing I want to do. I'm going to back off and leave you alone, for as long as you need it, okay?"
"Okay," I say and look at him.
His eyes are still sad, and I feel the rising urge to kiss him, but I don't want to raise his hopes. It is impossible to simply forget it all.
"Don't look at me like that. You know it makes me want to kiss you," he whispers.
I lower my eyes for a moment, but then I look at him again. "Try to resist," I say with a shy smile.
"After having tasted your lips, I don't want to resist, Caramel." His eyelids lower and his face comes closer, so I pull back a little and lie down in the grass. That will give me time.
Delsin lies down next to me. "That hat suits you, by the way. When I saw you with it, I couldn't help thinking that you are one damn hot cowgirl."
"The sun is hot, so it's better to wear a hat," is all I can say in reply.
"No. You look really good in those clothes. Pretty. No, beautiful. I wouldn't have thought they suited you until I saw you with my own eyes. After all, I've only ever seen you as a rather stylish college girl," he explains with a smile.
I look at him pensively. "What did you do before you came here?"
He turns over and lies on his stomach, leans on his elbows and looks at me. "Five of the seven days since you left, I was sitting in my apartment, staring at the walls and repeatedly asking Avery whether you called. The last two days, I was in the car with your crazy friends. Two girls who have problems I didn't know one could have. Is it really that important which razor you use to shave your legs? Or how large ... a man's package is? Honestly, Camille, I was worried I would grow tits and my dick would fall off, merely because I had to listen to those conversations for more than twenty-four hours," he tells me, half serious, half joking.
I put my hand before my mouth, but it doesn't help. I laugh out loud and cannot stop.
"I was so relieved when we stopped half-way. They nearly drove me insane, and of course they teased me with all the old stories. Hailey and Thally can be real monsters if they want to, but ... they also really listened to my concerns, and I am thankful for that."
I try to calm down, but I am still laughing about his statement about tits.
"Yeah, go ahead and laugh at me," he grins.
Minutes pass, until my stomach hurts and I am back to my sober self again. "I'm sorry, but the image of you as a woman was just too weird."
"Yeah," he nods, smiling. "I can see myself turning into the butt of all jokes here."
"Oh, only when you ride the way I skate," I grin.
"Speaking of that ... why did you give Ave the board?" he asks, all serious again.
I stare up at the sky and take a deep breath. "Because it was too expensive and I would have felt uncomfortable with keeping it."
"You wanted to erase me from your life."
I give a curt nod.
"And all because of this scheming bitch," he murmurs.
"No, because it hurt to think of you, and when I looked at the skateboard, I had to think of you. Every night I was dreaming of you, of the things you told me, and ... of the sex we had," I admit. I just admitted that I have wet dreams, I realize and blush.
"Are you blushing because you are being honest with me?" Delsin asks, sounding curious.
"Yes," I breathe.
He strokes my cheek and leans over me. He does not kiss me, but puts his head in the crook of my neck. His warm breath tickles my skin and sends shivers down my spine. "I like it when you're being honest. And I have reveled in the way you moaned, the way you moaned because of me, of what I was doing to you," he murmurs, kissing the sensitive skin of my neck.
I close my eyes and utter a soft sigh. "Delsin ..."
"Do you want me to stop? I can't stop, sweet Caramel, you simply smell too enticing," he whispers. The tip of his nose strokes my neck, moves upwards to my ear. He breathes softly into it and then nibbles at my earlobe.
"Delsin," I gasp.
"Tell me to stop," he demands in a soft voice.
"I can't." Why am I unable to tell him to stop? The words have left my lips before I could think them through.
"Why not?"
"Because it feels too good," I admit.
"May I kiss you, Caramel?" he asks, still in a whisper, and then he traces little kisses from the sensitive spot under my ear across my jaw, to the corner of my mouth.
I don't answer, waiting to see if he will do it without my consent instead. But he stops, hovering over my mouth. I am the one to bridge the gap and kiss him. Delsin utters a soft growl when I nibble his lower lip, the way he used to do with me, and then he pulls back a little. He kisses me softly, carefully, as if he was trying not to overwhelm me. He strokes my cheek as we lose ourselves in the lengthening kiss. Slowly, he glides over me. His knee pushes my legs apart, my skirt rides up my legs, and I moan when the rough denim of his jeans rub across my panties.
My fingers roam his hair, unkempt and soft to the touch, and I grab a handful. Delsin hisses when I pull his hair, and then he growls into my mouth. His tongue pushes against the tip of mine, and I can feel the passion override his consideration. I allow it to happen and revel in the sensations. I rub myself against the swell in his jeans and utter soft little moans. I think I may be close to sleeping with him, out here in the open.
Suddenly he pulls away abruptly, rolling over on his side. My breath comes heavy as I look at him, slightly confused. "I'm sorry, but if we go on now, I cannot stop myself anymore," he apologizes.
The wetness in my underwear tells me that I want him, too. His caresses have awakened an ache between my thighs that I have only ever experienced twice. I guess
I am horny. And ready. I straighten my skirt and get up, feeling breathless. "Come along," I whisper and march through the tall grass.
I hear him get up hastily and then he walks next to me. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see in a minute," I answer and lead him to the old barn. Buck had planned to demolish it ages ago, because it hasn't been used in a long time, but now it's going to fulfill a new purpose.
When I want to open the door, Delsin grabs my hand and turns me around to face him. "Let's not rush it again this time," he murmurs.
My eyebrow shoots up, but I try to conjure a composed expression. "I thought you ... wanted me. I'm sorry if I misunderstood you."
"I want you, but I don't want to sleep with you in a dusty barn. I want a real bed," he says sheepishly.
I sigh. "Okay. We cannot do it in the house. Mom and Buck would hear us."
"Not if you let me cover your mouth," Delsin grins salaciously.
I shake my head, grinning with him. "No. We won't do it now. It's probably better that way." Then I take a deep breath. "Are we heading back to the house?"
He nods slowly and we stroll back.
Close to the stables, I let go of his hand. Delsin looks at me. "Why did you do that?"
"I don't want my mom to see us like that, because she would never cease telling me she was right all along," I admit meekly.
"And would that be so bad?"
"Oh, yes," I say.
Finally we reach the main house. Buck is sitting on the porch cleaning his shotgun, which makes Delsin swallow and slow down.
"Cami, please go in and talk to your mother about dinner. She's worried," Buck says without looking up.
"Do I have to?" I ask, feeling helpless.
"Yes, you have to. And I want to have a conversation with Mister Rough here, so would you please leave us alone?"
I look at Delsin. "Don't make any sudden moves, or else he'll take you for a rabbit and shoot you."
He pales. "I ... um, no. I'll be quiet."
I give him an encouraging smile and slip into the house. The kitchen is empty. "Mom?" I call out.
Hailey comes in. "She is in the living room, crying."
"Why would she be crying?" I ask, feeling irritated.
"Because she had a meltdown after your fight. She thinks you hate her, Cami."
I utter a frustrated sigh. "I'll talk to her ... I'm sorry I ran away earlier. I would have liked to spend time with you."
She smiles at me. "Talking to Delsin was more important. You and I can sit and talk after everyone else has gone to bed."
I nod and walk into the living room. My mom is sitting on the sofa, sobbing. "Mom?" I ask softly, come closer and sit down next to her.
"I am sorry I did not respect your wishes, honey. I only wanted you to be happy again. Since you've been here, your eyes have that sad expression that haunts me. I didn't want to fight with you, and I didn't want you to be angry with me. Believe me, honey, I only wanted you to feel better again. That is the only reason I invited Hailey and Delsin," she sobs.
I can't stand to see her cry. It tears at my heart and makes me cry, too. "I'm sorry, too, mom. I ... I don't know what came over me at dinner. It was a shock to see Delsin when I had said I don't want to see him yet," I explain as my tears start to fall. I hug my mom. "I am sorry I caused you so much worry."
She nods and pulls away. "Please don't be mad at me anymore."
"I'm not."
"Were you able to straighten things out with the young man?"
I shake my head. "Not completely, but we're getting there. It's just hard to know he's under the same roof."
"Would it be better if he slept at Steve's? Steve offered his spare room in case you wanted that," she tells me in a hoarse voice before she wipes the tears from her eyes and blows her nose.
"No. Delsin can stay in the house. I just hope he leaves me air enough to breathe. And I hope Buck isn't going to shoot him. He said he wanted to talk to him while he was cleaning his gun. That kind of worries me," I say slowly.
Mom utters a soft laugh. "That is typical for Buck. He has been looking forward to this for years. To scare a boy who shows any interest in you. I couldn't talk him out of that."
Suddenly, a shot rings out and makes us both jump. "Oh god, I hope he hasn't really shot him," I say in a panicking voice, running for the door. I virtually leap out on the porch, where I stare at Buck wildly.
"What's going on here, Buck? What's this shooting all about?" mom asks, appearing behind me.
"I merely showed Mister Rough how to shoot a gun properly," he says nonchalantly, turning to Delsin again to explain the shotgun to him.
"Are you completely daft, Buck?" I scream at him. "I was so afraid you killed Deslin! You stupid ..."
"Watch your mouth, Camille," my mom warns me.
I take a step toward Buck and punch his arm. "Hell, I was frightened out of my mind!"
He lowers the weapon and looks at me in apology. "Sorry, Camille, but your boyfriend asked whether I can hit a target that is so many yards away, so I had to prove it to him."
Then I look at Delsin, who's grinning.
"And you, don't you grin like a hillbilly moron. I'm mad at you, too. What was I supposed to do if he'd shot you? Scratch your guts from the porch?"
He raises his hands in defense. "I'm sorry."
Mom stands behind me and pulls me away from him.
"You're not going to punch anyone else now, Cami. Just come inside and calm down," she whispers insistently. She is doing that to draw my attention to her, and to make me forget the flare of anger I am experiencing. But it isn't really anger, it is shock. Buck normally doesn't use his weapons so close to the house, and neither does he shoot at some random target, just to prove that he can. Mom pulls me inside.
Hailey is standing at the upper end of the stairs. "Did Buck shoot at Delsin?" she asks.
"No, he practiced hitting a target," I reply lamely and walk up the stairs after mom has let me go.
"Don't take too long, you ladies," she calls after us and smiles at me as I look back down.
"Good night, mom."
"Sweet dreams, honey."
When I reach the top of the stairs, Hailey takes my arm and walks with me to my room. She closes the door behind us and steps over to my four-poster bed. "So what happened between you and Delsin after he followed you?"
I sigh and take my boots off. "We talked, and then we kissed, and then we almost did it right there in the grass, but he stopped himself in time." I follow her and sit down heavily on the bed, unbuttoning the plaid shirt and chucking it off.
"No!" she blurts.
"Yes. I don't know how it happened either. Suddenly he was kissing my neck, and my resistance melted," I explain as I get up and walk over to my closet. I take out a t-shirt and put it on after taking off my bra.
"So are you a couple again, then?" she wants to know.
"No. I don't think we're a couple. I think we may be friends with benefits, or something like that," I muse as I take off my skirt.
Hailey is already wearing her pajamas. "Screw buddies?"
"No, that doesn't sound right either. I don't know what we are, nor what this is. He kept asking for a second chance, but then we had this almost-sex there in the grass, and I wanted to take him to the old barn to sleep with him, but he didn't want that. Delsin ... confuses me," I voice my frustration.
"When I hear that, it has me confused, too. He virtually nails you in the meadow but then refuses to have sex in the barn," she sums up and shakes her head.
I return to the bed and plop down next to her. "He said he wants to enjoy it, to do it in a real bed instead of a barn."
Hailey sighs. "I guess I'll go to sleep now, in case Delsin is going to come and see you," she smiles.
I laugh. "He doesn't even know which room is mine."
"But he could find out easily, I think. You could leave your door ajar, so he doesn't have to knock. If you know what I mean," she says conspiratorially, wi
nking at me.
"You're crazy," I grin.
"I know, but one of us has got to be the immature one." I throw my pillow at her, but she is already at the door.
Hailey ducks and it hits the wall. "Good night, Cami ... Sleep well, if you can find the time for that. Oh, I'm going to leave the door open."
"Good night. Sweet dreams, crazy woman," I answer with a smile. Then I slip underneath the covers and turn the TV on. It is still early, and I know I cannot sleep right now, so I want the TV to lull me into drowsiness.
After a few minutes, I realize that it bores me to no end, so I take my tablet from the nightstand and start to read. I need to make more time for reading; the e-books keep accumulating on my device. If Delsin hadn't shaken up my routine, I'd have finished several more books this semester, but now I feel like catching up. I am a fast reader, a voracious reader, so that won't be a problem. Since I've come here, I have already read three books, mediocre ones, but better than nothing.
After a few pages, there's a knock on my door.
"Yes?"
The door opens slowly and Delsin steps into the room, then he closes the door. "I was able to escape Buck. What are you doing?"
"I'm reading," I whisper.
"And what are you reading?"
"A book," I say.
"And why are you suddenly whispering?"
"I don't know," I whisper. "Maybe because you do, too."
He laughs, taking care to be quiet, and comes to my bedside.
"Sit down," I offer and put the tablet back on the nightstand. Then I turn on my side to look at him.
Delsin sits down on the edge of the bed and studies me.
I clear my throat. "Would you hold me a little," I ask shyly.
The corner of his mouth quirks upward. "Should I take my clothes off for that?"
I smile at him coyly. "Yes, but keep your boxers on."
He chuckles, gets up and undresses. I stare at him as he exposes his body, piece by piece. My breath hitches and I lick my lips, but then I force myself to look away.
"I hope Buck won't empty a load of buckshot into my ass if he finds me in your bed."
"He won't, but I'll lock the door anyway." I get up and lock the door.
When I turn around, Delsin is lying in my bed. With mincing steps I return to the bed and lie down in his arms. Delsin holds me close to him, and his fingertips draw circles on my bare arm. With a sigh, I snuggle up and rub my cheek against his warm skin.
Rough: Daunting Temptation (Coral Gables Series Book 1) Page 16
