Just Grace, Star on Stage

by Charise Mericle Harper

  “Sometimes I like going to school, just to get a break,” said Mimi. I nodded my head. I could see what she was meaning.

  SCHOOL

  It’s not a good thing when the most exciting part of your school day happens in the first ten minutes of school. That’s what happened today. After everyone sat down Miss Lois collected the permission forms for the auditions, and then that was it. The whole rest of the day was pretty much regular and boring. Even Owen 1 didn’t do anything interesting. He got himself sent to the hallway, but it was just for playing with the Velcro on his shoes and making too much noise. It was nothing unusual.

  WHAT WAS NOT GOOD

  I could see how many people wanted to audition for the big parts in the play. Miss Lois had a lot of forms in her hand. And mostly they were from girls! A lot of the boys wanted to be talking plants or animals. I wasn’t surprised that Sammy didn’t want to be a talking animal. Sammy is pretty much scared of anything that has four legs and fur.

  WHAT CAN MAKE YOU WORRIED AT LUNCHTIME

  Mimi and I ate lunch outside with Grace F. and Grace W. From where we were sitting I could see Marta and her gang of fairy girls. They were all prancing around doing their fancy fairy moves, and not one of them looked like an octopus. Grace W. saw me watching them and said, “Marta only wants one thing for her birthday, and that’s to be the fairy queen in the play.” “Her birthday? What do you mean?” I asked. “Her birthday is on the day of the play,” said Grace W. “So it would be perfect if she got the fairy queen part. It would be her dream come true!” Grace W. put her hands together and closed her eyes like she was wishing it for Marta.

  “I want to be a forest fairy,” said Grace W. “What do you want to be?” I couldn’t talk. My brain was too busy thinking of everything I had just heard.

  Finally Mimi came to my rescue. “Grace wants to be the fairy queen. It’s too bad that there can’t be more than one fairy queen.” Grace W. looked surprised. “Well, I wouldn’t want to be sad on my birthday,” she said. It was confusing. What did she mean? Mimi is good at telling when something could be an argument, so she changed the subject really fast and asked Grace F. what she wanted to do for the play. I was glad to hear that she was like Mimi. She didn’t want to be on the stage.

  Listening to Grace F. gave me and Grace W. a break from talking about Marta, which was good on the outside, but on the inside I still couldn’t stop thinking about it.

  It was easy to say, “I hope you get the part you want” to Grace W., but it would have been impossible to say that to Marta. I was glad she wasn’t sitting with us. In fact, it was impossible for my brain to even think about saying it to her. I couldn’t help it. I just had to add the word “don’t.”

  SOME HARD THINGS

  Sometimes Sammy and Max walk home with us, but today it was just Mimi and me. I was glad about that. I needed to ask Mimi some questions, and I didn’t want Sammy and Max listening in.

  QUESTION ONE

  Do you think people will think that Marta should get the fairy queen part because the play is on her birthday?

  The first thing Mimi said was “That’s a hard question.” Then she stopped walking and thought for a while. Finally she said, “It’s too bad that Marta’s birthday is on the play night, because if she doesn’t get the part she is for sure going to be sad—and no one should be sad on their birthday. But it’s not really fair for Marta to get the fairy queen part only because it’s her birthday.” Then she made a big sigh and said, “That was a hard question!” She was right—it was.

  QUESTION TWO

  Should I feel guilty about wishing that Marta doesn’t get the part?

  Mimi swung her arms up and said, “Stop asking me all these hard questions!” Then she looked at me with her sad Mimi eyes. Instantly I had no choice—I had to do what she wanted. I changed the subject. Sad eyes have that kind of power, but only if you are careful about using them. If you use them all the time, they lose their power. Mimi hardly ever uses hers, so they’re super strong.

  “Okay. Okay,” I said. “I’m sorry.” On the outside I listened to Mimi talk about her costume ideas, but on the inside my brain was being just like Robert’s brain. It was thinking the same thing over and over again. Only my brain wasn’t thinking, I’m a good thrower. I’m a good thrower. I’m a good thrower. Mine was thinking: Please, Marta, don’t get the part. Please, Marta, don’t get the part. Please, Marta, don’t get the part.

  It probably wasn’t a good thing to do, but I just couldn’t stop myself.

  WHAT MIMI AND I DID WHEN WE GOT HOME

  We took Mr. Scruffers and Mimi’s brother, Robert, for a walk around the block. It’s surprising, but Robert is a lot more work than Mr. Scruffers. He’s kind of like one of those super bouncy balls—you never know where he is going to go next. Now I could see why Mimi was so good at projecting.

  After the walk Mimi and Robert came over. Robert went to the backyard with Mr. Scruffers, and Mimi and I stayed in the kitchen. Even though I hadn’t been talking about it, I think Mimi could tell that I was still thinking about the play and Marta. Mostly that was because I kept talking about the audition and asking her what she thought I was going to have to do. Mimi is like me: she’s never been to an audition before. Sometimes talking about stuff helps you feel better, even if no one comes up with any answers.

  Mimi could tell that I was suffering. I think that’s why she said what she said. She was trying to make me feel better, only it didn’t work that way. It worked the opposite way!

  WHAT MIMI SAID TO ME

  “You shouldn’t worry so much about Marta. There are other people in our class who are going to be trying for the part too.”

  WHY THIS WAS NOT HELPFUL

  Now there were even more people to worry about, and up until this second I had totally forgotten about them.

  Mimi looked over and smiled. She was hoping that I was feeling better. Sometimes it is hard to do the right thing, even if you know you should. Sometimes the wrong thing comes out of your mouth, and even though you have the power to stop it, you don’t. This was one of those times.

  WHAT I SAID TO MIMI

  “I bet there are lots of kids in our class who like to sew just like you do. I bet a bunch of them are going to want to do costumes too.” Mimi looked surprised. This was not what she was expecting. I don’t think she had thought of this before either. Now she was worried just like I was. For a second I thought, Ha! Now you know what it feels like.

  But that only lasted for a few seconds, because the next thing I thought was I shouldn’t have said that. Suddenly my empathy power was working. It was not a good feeling.

  SAD + GUILTY

  WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID NEXT

  “I’m sorry, Mimi. That was a mean thing to say.”

  WHAT I SAID NEXT

  Nothing.

  After a few more seconds of quiet, except for Robert yelling and screaming in the background, Mimi said she had to go. Robert made a big fuss about having to leave, but Mimi didn’t let him win. She pretty much dragged him out the door.

  Sometimes when you are sad, you just want to be alone.

  DINNER MAGIC

  For the whole of dinner, Mom and Dad tried to cheer me up. They are good at it. By dessert I was feeling a whole lot better, and even told Mom the thing about giving flowers to someone at the end of a play. She said she already knew about that, and then she winked at Dad. That’s her not-so-secret way of telling him, “Let’s remember to do this.” I smiled. Getting flowers would be good.

  Being in a better mood made me happy, but it also made me feel guilty about Mimi. It was not fair for me to be happy and for her to still be sad.

  After dinner I just had to call her. It’s hard to tell if someone is happy or sad just by hearing a “hello” on the phone. Mimi’s sounded normal, but I couldn’t be sure.

  WHAT IS NOT EASY TO DO

  It’s not easy to apologize, even on the phone.

  THE GOOD THING ABOUT A BEST FRIEND
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br />   They always forgive you.

  BEFORE BED

  Mimi and I flashed our lights at each other. This time it felt extra special. I did mine six times, one for each letter of BFFIMI, which means best friends forever I mean it! And I really did! I meant it a lot!

  THE THING THAT SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED

  I slept in. I couldn’t believe it. I never sleep in, ever! I don’t know how it happened. The last thing I remembered was closing my eyes, and then suddenly Mom was yelling at me to get up. It was a disaster. I had no time to try on a special audition outfit, practice my projecting, practice doing fairy arms, or do anything at all! I hardly even had time to eat breakfast.

  The whole thing was very strange. Even Mr. Scruffers had slept in.

  WHAT YOU CAN’T DO AT SCHOOL

  Even though I had free time, I did not practice my projecting or my fairy arms at lunchtime. These were not things I wanted to do when other people could see me doing them. Was that a bad sign?

  If you have never been on stage, it’s hard to know if you have stage fright. I didn’t think I had it, because in my imagination I imagined myself being on stage, and it did not scare me one little bit. But I did have field fright—I could not imagine myself standing out there all by myself doing fairy arms.

  STAGE VERSUS FIELD

  If you do strange things on stage, people know you are acting. If you do the exact same things in a field, people will think you are weird. It was that simple. One was good and one was bad.

  WHAT WAS GOOD

  The best part of the whole day was the fifteen minutes right before school ended. Miss Lois was in such a good mood that she let us all talk about the play. She probably knew that people were nervous about the auditions. She said that tomorrow was going to be a big day too. It was the day when everyone who was not in the play was going to get to sign up for the jobs they wanted. Mimi was probably going to be as nervous tomorrow as I was today. We weren’t going to be calm until our names were right there on the lists, where we wanted them to be.

  THE AUDITION

  After school Mimi walked with me to the auditorium. I was thinking she could maybe stay and watch, but a sign on the door said that only those people doing auditions could come in. I was kind of sad and kind of glad about that. Sad because I wanted Mimi in there with me, but glad because I didn’t want a bunch of other kids just sitting there watching and making fun of everyone.

  Mimi gave me a good-luck hug and I went in. I’ve been in the auditorium a hundred times, but today it felt different. Normally when there are a bunch of kids in there, everyone is talking and pushing and joking around, but today it was different: everyone was quiet. I sat down next to Grace W. and said hi. Marta was sitting on her other side. I didn’t say hi to her.

  WAITING AT THE AUDITION

  All of a sudden someone sat next to me. It was Max. “Have you seen Sammy?” he asked. I shook my head no. “I sure hope he gets here in time. He had to go and get his form. Do you think Miss Lois is right about no singing? Because I’m not doing this if I have to sing.” Max looked at me and waited for an answer. He was talking a lot more than normal. I couldn’t tell for sure, but he was probably nervous too. “Miss Lois is usually right about stuff,” I said. “If she says there’s no singing, I bet there’s no singing.” Max nodded. I couldn’t tell if he felt better or not, but him being worried made sense. Max was not an excellent singer.

  I was hoping that Max would keep quiet, but he didn’t—he kept talking. “What part do you want?” he asked. He said it really loud. Now everyone around us was going to listen to what I said next. Even though the answer was fairy queen, I couldn’t say fairy queen. Not with Marta sitting almost right next to me, and it being her biggest birthday wish. If I said fairy queen everyone would hate me. So I lied. It was a little lie, but it was a helping lie and not a hurting lie, so I think it was okay.

  Max nodded his head like he understood, but he didn’t, because the next thing he said was, “What’s a narrator?” Sometimes even if you know what a word means it’s not always easy to explain it to someone else, but I tried anyway. I looked around to see if anyone else was listening, but couldn’t tell. “It’s a person who tells a story, or tells stuff about the story as it’s happening,” I said. “Is it a fun part?” asked Max. I made a list in my brain of all the things I knew about the play.

  THE PLAY

  It’s a play about the life cycle of plants. LEARNING STUFF

  Miss Lois said it teaches us stuff. BORING

  It has a king, some knights, and some fairies in it. FUN PARTS

  It has talking trees and animals in it. SILLY PARTS

  It has a narrator. BORING PART THAT TELLS ABOUT THE LEARNING STUFF

  I looked at Max and said, “You’re right—it’s probably not so much a fun part, but it’s an important part. The narrator does lots of explaining about what’s happening in the story.” “Oh,” said Max. “Well, I want to be a knight, but I hope you get it.” I made sure my fingers were double crossed behind my back and then I said, “Yeah, me too!” But I didn’t mean it! Not one little bit.

  I was glad when Ms. Perry came on stage to talk to us. Talking to Max was making me nervous.

  WHAT MS. PERRY WAS LIKE

  Ms. Perry was exactly like what I thought a play director-actress person would be like. She had crazy hair and cool glasses and could talk really loud. She was also wearing different clothes than a normal person would.

  Ms. Perry did some talking about the play, and then she asked for volunteers. I was surprised that not every hand went up. If Ms. Perry wanted a helper, I was going to be her number one helper.

  HOW TO GET SOMEONE TO PICK YOU

  This is a normal hand up.

  This is the “PLEASE PICK ME” hand up.

  This is the “PICK ME OR I WILL DIE” hand up.

  Ms. Perry looked right at me. I was 100 percent sure she was going to pick me, but then right before she did, she looked away. Instead of me, she pointed to someone in the back of the room. “You! You, walking down the aisle. Can you come up here?” asked Ms. Perry.

  When you don’t get picked and you really want to be picked, you always have to look right away to see who was picked instead of you. When I saw who it was, I couldn’t believe it. It was Sammy! He waved his permission slip in the air and said, “I forgot this so my mom had to bring it.” “That’s fine,” said Ms. Perry. “Now just come up here and stand beside me. Don’t worry—it’s nothing bad.” Then she looked around the room and said, “Now I need two more volunteers.” This time everyone put their hands up. I guess they were thinking, If Sammy can do it, then I can do it too. I was waving like crazy, but now with a bunch of other people waving, Ms. Perry was never going to see me.

  ME WISHING I HAD A GIANT HAND

  WHO GOT PICKED

  Ms. Perry picked Ruth and Owen 2. Even though I was sad that Ms. Perry didn’t pick me, I was a little bit glad that she didn’t pick Marta either. I would not have been happy about that.

  WHAT HAPPENED ON STAGE

  Ms. Perry pointed to the three people on stage and said, “Okay, now I want you all to dance.” It was not what anyone was expecting—none of them moved. She said it two more times so they would know she really meant it, but still no one danced. I think it would have been easier if there was music, but there was nothing. It’s not easy to dance to quiet. Finally Ms. Perry went over and danced next to them, to give them dancing energy. Sammy did a few extra things with his hands, but Ruth and Owen 2 pretty much just moved their feet back and forth.

  All of a sudden Ms. Perry rang a little bell and told them to stop. I could tell they were glad about that. She asked them each to pick two words to describe how they felt while they were dancing. I was not surprised that all three of them used embarrassed as one of their words. Suddenly I was feeling pretty happy that I wasn’t up there on stage. I would have been embarrassed too!

  I thought they were going to come back and sit down, but instead, Ms. P
erry gave them each a hat and a scarf and told them to put them on. Of course Sammy couldn’t be normal. He wrapped the scarf around his legs so it looked like a giant diaper, and didn’t even wear the hat. I bet Ms. Perry noticed that—Sammy is not the best with directions. When they were all dressed up Ms. Perry rang the bell and said, “Dance!” This time it was completely different. Everyone moved around a lot more than before.

  Sammy was the best. He was dancing crazy, like a giant, weird baby.