Hers to Forget

by Avery Samson

  “Hang on,” he growls after a few minutes. I hear the door reopen then more mumbling. “Izzy says she hasn’t spoken to her for a couple of days.”

  “Does she know where she’s staying?”

  More voices in the background sounding slightly more frantic. Maybe I should have thought this part of the plan out better. Really, I should start thinking out everything better. Like investing in a pair of shackles to hook us together next time so she can’t sneak out. Realizing Grayson is saying something, I shake my head to refocus.

  “No, she doesn’t. Teddy, has something happened to Sophia? You need to tell me what’s going on.” I can hear my sister-in-law talking to him in the background. They are going to kill me if I wake up one of their kids. It seems there is always a baby in that house.

  “She’s fine. I just need to find her. If Izzy talks to her, can she ask her to call me?”

  My brother is quiet for so long I wonder if we got disconnected.

  “I think I fucked up, Grayson,” I add, barely whispering.

  “Can you fix it?” he asks.

  “I don’t know, but I’m going to sure as fuck try.”

  After a couple more beats he makes a hmpphh sound.

  “Okay. Call me tomorrow.”

  After apologizing again, I disconnect, looking at my phone. I’ve probably left twenty messages on her phone, sent as many texts without a response.

  I try calling her one more time to no avail. I could try again tomorrow, but I have a sinking feeling that the longer I wait, the farther away she will get. The only option I can come up with now is calling hotels in London, but that’s a task that would take more time than I have.

  Deciding to make one more trip to the first theatre, I pray the box office will be open so, with any luck, I’ll find something to help me. When I arrive, I scope out the ladies working at the theatre. I pick out what looks like the easiest mark, then make my move.

  “Hi. I’m one of the videographers doing the piece on Webber’s new musical. I completely jacked up some of the film, so I have to reschedule for tomorrow.” After about twenty minutes of flirting with her, I finally make some headway. “Hey, you should come to the party. You know where we’re staying, right?” I hold my breath, hoping she’ll take the bait.

  “I heard you were staying at the Cavendish.”

  Perfect.

  “Great!” I beam at her. “Tomorrow night about eight. Give me your number and I’ll text you the details.” I manage to extricate myself without actually giving her my name or my number. I have just a moment of guilt thinking about what I’ve done. I’ll do anything to get to Sophia. Making a mental note to send the girl a text later canceling the party, I head toward the hotel.

  By the time I walk to the hotel, it’s dark outside. With exhaustion setting in and being more than a little pissed from chasing my tail all day, I walk into the hotel. If she would just have answered her fucking phone, we could have talked this out. Now I have to run an end game around reception at the hotel to find her room. As casual as possible, I stroll through the lobby picking up the house phone.

  “May I please be connected to the room of Miss Sophia Wright?” I ask when the operator answers.

  “Hello?” I hear her golden voice and instantly my heart skips. “Hello?” she says one more time before hanging up.

  Now I just have to get to her without tipping my hand. I don’t want to give her a chance to take off again. I know I’ll get one shot at this, so it had better be a good one.

  Choosing one of the chairs in the foyer, I watch the front desk intently. I can’t just go knocking on doors or pull the fire alarm since either option has the potential of landing me in jail. I also doubt I’ll be lucky enough for her to simply stroll through the hotel.

  I’ve sat here for about half an hour when the staff starts questioning my motives, so I make my move. My first real luck of the night comes in the form of one of the crew. I only know because of the logo on his shirt, but it’s my best bet.

  “Hey man.” I do my best to look like a college kid. “Do you know my sister, Sophia Wright? She was supposed to meet me down here thirty minutes ago. We’re going to be late.”

  He studies me for a minute, trying to decide if I’m legit. Strangely, he doesn’t ask what we’re late for.

  “Dude. I’d go get her but she didn’t tell me her room number.”

  He must decide I look harmless.

  “Yeah, she said something about meeting someone yesterday. She’s in 328. Maybe you can work her out of her pissy mood.” He turns, heading into the bar.

  As I watch him walk away, all I can think is that I could really use something to drink. If this goes badly, I’ll have plenty of time to get shitfaced later, I’m sure. With a sigh, I head for the bank of elevators.

  The hunt for Sophia has lasted twelve hours now. I take a deep breath when I find her room but my nerves are at the breaking point. Pulling the crumpled letter out of my pocket, I read it again. Was I really that easy to walk away from? Did she really care so little about me that she could only bother to leave a note? She owes me a fucking explanation, or at least something that makes sense.

  I pound on her door and when she doesn’t answer, I pound on it again. I can see a shadow under the threshold, so I know she is watching me through the peephole.

  “Open the door, Sophia.” It’s more of a demand than a request but soon I hear a lock turn before the door slowly eases open.

  She stands in the doorway in a blue silk robe tied tightly around her waist. Her hair is cascading down her back in long deep brown waves, taking my breath away.

  Stepping into the room, I kick the door closed behind me. Sophia backs away from me, crossing her arms in front of her and begins to speak.

  “Teddy, how did you find me?” I don’t give her a chance to finish before I cut her off.

  “No, Sophia. You said everything you get to say in this fucking note you left me when you snuck out,” I say, wadding the note up in my fist. “Now you get to listen to me.” I lean back against the door, pinning my hands behind my back. It’s the only way I can think of to prevent myself from touching her.

  “When I was barely twelve,” I begin, “I was officially given to the state by parents who didn’t give a shit about me. I was placed under the control of a brother I had never met before, at thirteen. I was dragged under protest to a strange house to spend Thanksgiving with a family I didn’t know by the time I was fourteen. I felt like a kid set adrift in a raging storm.”

  Sophia takes a step toward me, her hand reaching out.

  “No, Soph, let me finish.” I take a deep breath, looking into her eyes and continue. “Then this vision came bouncing out of the house. I remember every moment, everything she was wearing, even the way her voice sounded. She was stunning and my fourteen-year-old body reacted in a way I didn’t understand yet.

  “The summer I was seventeen, that same vision danced back into my life for two weeks. It was the best time of my life but also a perpetual hell. She was even more beautiful, smart, and confident than before. She was everything I wasn’t and I couldn’t help but fall in love with her.”

  She slides down to sit on the bed, looking at her hands.

  “Do you remember when we fell asleep watching Grayson’s old copy of Stripes?”

  She nods her head, not meeting my eyes.

  “I watched you sleep for hours curled up in my arms. I was too scared to fall asleep and miss a single second of holding you.”

  Her eyes continue to stare down at her hands.

  “I knew it was one-sided. I knew you would find someone else. That I needed to move on even then.

  “The problem is, I never have figured out how to do that. I thought if I put an ocean between us, if I tried dating someone else, I could get over you. I thought if I could just fuck someone else, I could fool my mind into believing I could forget you.”

  I push off the door, taking a step toward her. “I never could do it though. Nev
er could fuck those other girls, they just weren’t you.”

  She looks up at me, tears falling from her beautiful amber eyes.

  “There has only ever been one woman for me. My beautiful golden-eyed vision.”

  I can see her breathing in short gasps, the pulse pounding in the vein in her neck. The one I kissed last night when I entered her.

  “I guess what I want to know is this. Why would you let me make love to you if you were going to leave me?” I’m trying not to break, but my words come out strained, making Sophia flinch. She broke my heart, I deserve to know why. “Why did you give me hope when you planned on tossing me away? Was I just a side fuck to keep you entertained?”

  I’ve moved until I’m standing between her legs so she has to strain to look up at me. It guts me to see the tears running down her cheeks, but I want answers.

  “Just tell me why?”

  4

  Sophia

  He’s so angry, so hurt. I’ve done this, I’ve caused those beautiful blue eyes to fill with pain. He turns, stalking over to the wall.

  “Fuck,” he says, slapping it with his palms. He stands very still with his back to me. I watch him in silence for a moment until his shoulders drop. “I’ll just go,” he says, turning toward the door.

  “Teddy, wait.” I stand, taking a tentative step toward his back. “Teddy, was last night your first time? Did you wait all these years for me?” I reach out, touching his shoulder.

  I feel it bunch underneath my hand as if struck by lightning. He doesn’t answer me, his silence speaking more than any words could. I slowly wrap my arms around his waist.

  “Now let me tell you a story.” I take a deep breath, holding on tightly so he can’t turn to look in my face. I don’t think I could survive seeing his pain again. I love him, I will always love him, but he has to understand I can’t be what he needs.

  “When I was eighteen, my older sister fell in love with a tall, handsome, ambitious man. He was generous to a fault, a man of character I guess you would call him, and my only sister was madly in love with him.

  “One Thanksgiving he came with her to our house, bringing with him an angry, petulant boy. I would watch this boy, looking so lost, as he looked at everyone with hurt in his eyes. Except when he looked at me, the hurt would disappear.

  “I knew he had a crush on me, but he was a boy and I was too old for him. He became, through those years, one of my best friends. He was funny, with a very dirty mouth that I secretly loved.”

  Teddy stays very still but I can feel his heart beat faster against my palm.

  “The summer I graduated from college, I felt adrift as I tried to find my path in life. I decided to visit home as I looked for that path.

  “That beautiful, funny boy had turned into a man, with the same long hair that fell in his face, the same blue eyes and dirty mouth. He could still make me laugh, but he could now also make me think. He believed I could conquer the world.

  “I fell in love with that man, but he was still so young, so I knew I had to leave him.” I can still feel his heart pounding as he takes in a breath to speak, but I reach up, covering his mouth.

  “That man finally saw his potential, accepting a place at a college a world away, so I decided I would forget him. Forget how his eyes darkened with lust when he looked at me. Forget how he held me so gently while I pretended to sleep curled up on the couch.

  “I tried to forget him with other men, but every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was him laying over me, touching my body, making love to me. I took every man that wanted me, because I could never have the man I truly wanted.

  “He deserves a home, a wife, and a picket fence, but I want travel, adventure, and danger. Then I learn I’m going to be near him and his draw on me is too much, I have to see him.”

  Teddy’s arms reach behind me enveloping me as they pull me tighter against his back.

  “We have dinner, we laugh and he invites me back to his room. That boy has now grown into a strong, beautiful man. One look into his eyes, the color of a Caribbean sea, and I’m lost.

  “He takes me into his arms, but he’s not scared to touch me now. He makes me feel like I am the only woman in the world. He makes me feel beautiful, happy, safe, and loved. He makes me feel whole.”

  I turn Teddy slowly to face me, looking up into the face I see every night when I close my eyes.

  “Tell me how I can make him give up everything he deserves for me? How can I take a chance on making him unhappy just to keep him close?” I whisper.

  Teddy stares at me for a minute as tears stream down my face. He reaches down, gently kissing my tears away.

  “Why do you get to decide what I deserve? How do you know we couldn’t both be happy, together?”

  He cups my ass in his large hands, lifting me up as a sob escapes my mouth. He gently lowers his mouth to mine as I wind my legs around his waist. I pull back to argue with him, tell him we shouldn’t do this, but he lays a finger against my lips before I can speak.

  “I’m done talking.” It’s all he says as he moves me to the bed. I stay silent as he opens my robe before running his hands up my back as he gently lowers me to the comforter. “So beautiful,” he whispers as his hands trace my body.

  Sliding his shirt off his shoulders, he slowly unhooks his belt and kicks off his shoes. I inhale sharply when he frees his manhood, strong and proud as it curves toward his abdomen. If I live to be a hundred, I could never get enough of seeing his body with its hard planes as it moves over my soft one.

  He climbs up my body, levering himself on top of me. Gently, he pushes my thighs open as he settles his hips between them and enters me in slow, agonizing thrusts. He’s not fast or frantic, he simply starts a slow rhythm inside me.

  “I can only be happy with you,” he whispers as I arch up toward him, my body wanting more. “I was put on this earth for you.” A tear runs down my face as another sob escapes. “I am the only man that can ever make you happy, that can ever love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

  I wrap my legs around his waist, rocking up toward him as my arms fight to pull him closer. He kisses my ear then lowers his mouth to my hard nipple, sucking it to a hard point.

  “Teddy,” I moan.

  His pace picks up as a slow, delicious burn begins low in my belly. His mouth moves up to mine, his tongue slipping through my lips, staking his claim on my heart. He pushes me deeper into the mattress with every thrust, burying himself in me.

  “Teddy,” I gasp out so close to my climax. “I need to hear you. Please.”

  His mouth returns to my ear as he whispers, “I love you, Sophia. Only ever you.”

  My muscles tighten around him as my orgasm explodes. With a curse, I feel as he joins me in his climax. My body is greedy for him as it pulls him in tight, taking everything he has to offer. As we crash together, I can’t think of anywhere more perfect than here with my Teddy. He rolls off of me and I instantly miss his weight covering me.

  “What do we do now?” I ask, turning to face him.

  “We figure it out,” he says then begins to grin. “That sounded ridiculous. But you know what I mean.” He reaches down, pulling the covers over us. “Oh, I have a brilliant idea.”

  The mischievous look on his face gives me pause.

  “Okay?” I can’t help my grin spreading to match his as he looks at me with mischief in his eyes.

  “I suggest we spend the night fucking like rabbits. We can figure the rest of this shit out tomorrow.”

  I can’t stop the laugh that bubbles out of me.

  “There’s the mouth I love.”

  “Oh, you’re about to get this mouth in full force,” he promises as he pulls me on top of him.

  I moan as I wake up to ringing. The glow of the clock on the nightstand announces we’ve only had a couple hours of sleep. Looking the other direction, I take a moment to feast my eyes on miles of muscle sprawled across the bed. Teddy. I smile, debating if I wake him for another round.


  My phone starts ringing again and I realize that’s what woke me up. I left it in the bathroom last night, so I quietly creep across the room to answer it. It’s my office in New York.

  “Hello?”

  “Sophia? Are you done with filming in London yet?” I hear my boss bark over the phone.

  “Yes, sir. We wrapped up the filming yesterday. The rest can be done at the studio.”

  I listen intently as he gives me my next assignment. My stomach does a flip and my heart is racing. He is sending me to Syria to work on a follow-up piece about the devastation left in the war against ISIS. I’ve been transferred to the foreign office desk. He informs me that I’ll be given my home base office at a later date. I’m to meet my new team later today for a briefing.

  “Yes sir, I’ll be ready to fly out tonight. Thank you.”

  I disconnect, staring at my phone in disbelief. I can’t believe I’m actually getting my shot. I spin around to find Teddy leaning against the doorjamb of the bathroom. He is watching me with the same look of concentration I’ve seen on Grayson’s face a million times. Pain lances through my heart when I recognize this new opportunity means I’ll be leaving him.

  “Teddy, I don’t know what to say.”

  His face changes to one of confusion before a smile breaks out across it.

  “Well, I do.” He grabs me up, hugging me tight then swings me around in the bedroom only setting me down when my laughter turns to hiccups. He cups my face in his hands. “Soph, this is amazing! This is everything you’ve been waiting for, you’ve made it, baby. What do we need to do? You probably need to pick up some clothes, shit like that.”

  I tackle him onto the bed. It’s not easy considering he probably has almost a foot and a hundred pounds on me easily.

  “I love you, Theodore Bennett.”

  “Really?” he says, rolling his eyes. “Do you really have to pull out the full name? That’s what Grayson yells when I’m in trouble. I think Teddy will be fine.”

  “I think Teddy is really fine.” I laugh at my own joke, at least until Teddy’s eyes darken to the color of a building storm. Climbing off him, I slide toward the bathroom. “I have to get ready to go. Really need to get in the shower.”