Wes cringed. “There’s no money in that.”
“It’s not about the money, it’s about a legacy. My legacy.” She flushed. Damn, that had sounded cheesy. She wasn’t even thirty years old and she was talking about legacies. “I don’t mind being known as a Hollywood composer, but it’s not what I dream about.”
Wes gnawed on his lip as he looked at her. “I don’t know how to help you with that, kiddo. I wish I did.”
“I know,” she said. “I don’t really expect you to, but I’m afraid if I take this wide open road set before me, I’ll never try that scary, twisted path that probably leads to nowhere. But how can I know where it goes if I don’t take a step in that direction? Maybe the scary, twisted path leads to the realization of my perfect dream.”
“Sometimes,” Wes said, holding up his hands—palms facing one another in front of him. “Sometimes the road and the path run alongside each other, so you can keep that path in sight as you confidently take the road.” He curved his left hand back and forth, but shook the right—the straight and steady path—up and down for emphasis. “Take the road, Dawn.”
She should take the road. Why was she so hesitant?
“Why don’t you write the symphonies of your heart in your free time?”
Dawn hadn’t realized that Corrine had returned until she asked her question.
“I won’t have much free time,” Dawn said.
“You will after the movies are finished.”
“And when will that be?”
Wes smiled at his wife before turning back to Dawn. “We can limit the contract to a year with a chance at renewal. Will that make you feel less skittish?”
“A year?” That wasn’t long. She could give her all to this project for a year and if it didn’t work out, she could walk away. Reach for her next star, a star she was unlikely to ever hold in her hand. But she wanted to at least try to capture it. “I think I can handle a year.”
She’d expected that making her decision would offer some relief, but she still felt off, felt unsure. Wes, who instantly crumpled into the sofa and covered his eyes with both hands, obviously didn’t hold her reservations.
“Kid, you are going to be the death of me,” he said. “I honestly thought you might turn this offer down flat out. I was prepared to forge your signature.”
She knew he was joking, so she laughed.
“Thanks to my brilliant wife for her eavesdropping.”
“They wouldn’t let me on the stage,” Corrine said. “They were cleaning it.”
“It’s not really your kind of stage anyway.” Wes pulled a folded contract out of the inner pocket of his tux and smoothed it on his knee. “Let’s hammer out your demands so I can negotiate for you,” he said to Dawn. “Besides needing a few days to get your affairs in order before you start and limiting the term to a year, what else do you want?”
“Equal billing with Everlong. I want to be a co-writer, not a ghostwriter.”
Wes beamed at her. “Now we’re talking. What else?”
Contract negotiations were like a drug to him. She was happy to give him his next fix.
After Wes finally returned her to her hotel room, a face-splitting smile still in place as she closed her door, she pulled out her phone and collapsed on the bed. The first time Dawn tried calling Kellen to share her news—her scary decision, one that could affect their future together—he didn’t answer. Perhaps he was asleep; it was after one in the morning. But then she remembered it was closer to six in the evening where he was, so unless he took evening naps, he wouldn’t be sleeping. Maybe his band had reconciled, gotten back together, and he was rehearsing for that night’s performance. That would be so awesome. Then she wouldn’t have to feel the slightest bit of guilt for her career gains.
She had made the right decision, hadn’t she?
It still didn’t feel right, but maybe after she joined her co-writers and actually got to work, her heart would open to this idea as much as her head had.
She got ready for bed, wanting to steal a few hours of sleep or at least rest before catching her flight in about six hours. She could never sleep on a plane, no matter how long the flight or how tired she was. She’d have to be at the airport in four hours. Before she climbed between the sheets, she tried Kellen again. This time he answered.
“Dawn,” he said, a breathless hitch in his voice. “I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m not the kind of guy who cheats. I should have never . . . I shouldn’t have . . . I’m sorry.”
Wait? Did he say he cheated? The man who had remained faithful to his deceased fiancée for five years couldn’t keep it in his pants for one day for her?
“What?” she said, plopping down on the bed and drawing a pillow to her lap. She hugged it against her belly, which was suddenly heavy and achy. Or maybe that was her heart down there hurting so bad. It had definitely sunk at his confession.
“He looked so sad and he was so close and I still don’t understand why I wanted him right then—I wasn’t even tied up. But it was like I couldn’t help myself, and once I got started, I couldn’t stop.”
Wait? Did Kellen say he?
“You slept with Owen?” It was even worse than she’d realized. She knew Kellen cared about Owen. This wasn’t just some random affair with someone he didn’t have feelings for.
“Slept with?”
She actually heard him swallow over the phone.
“No. I kissed him.”
Dawn covered her mouth with a trembling hand and tried to calm her breathing. Kellen kissing Owen was a betrayal, she couldn’t deny that, but she could get over it. She could forgive him for that. But only if it never progressed. If it hadn’t meant anything.
Of course it meant something.
“Was it like a little kiss?” she asked.
“I wish I could say it was. Maybe then he’d speak to me.”
“So he wasn’t pleased?” Her crumbling world stopped falling apart.
“Pleased?” Kellen’s scoffing snort sounded desperate. “No, he wasn’t pleased. He was upset over Chad, and I made it worse for him. God, what the fuck is wrong with me?”
“Start from the beginning.” Maybe once he explained, she wouldn’t be so confused.
He told her everything. The way watching Owen with Caitlyn had made him feel lost and almost jealous, how being around Lindsey no longer made him feel like Sara was watching him, how Jacob’s strange interview on the evening news had made him doubt Sole Regret would survive their separation, and the devastating news concerning Chad. She tried to be supportive through it all. Parts of his long spiel gave her hope, other parts made her nervous, but most of it just broke her heart.
“You were upset too, Kelly,” she said. “You were hurting too. And no one was there to comfort you, so you reached for Owen.” Dawn wished she’d been there so she’d have been the one he reached for. And now that she’d agreed to sign that contract, she’d be there for him less, not more. She supposed there was no reason to hold back the truth from him. What had been her good news to share suddenly became more bad news for him. “I’m going to sign the contract to do the scores for the Steinberg movies.”
“Oh,” he said. “If that’s what you want to do, then you should.”
She wasn’t sure it was what she wanted to do. Now more than ever she was filled with doubt. “I think it will be best.”
“Don’t sign just to get back at me for hurting you.”
Kellen wasn’t usually self-centered, so his words cut her. Did he really think she was stupid and emotional enough to make that kind of decision to get back at a man for hurting her?
“I decided before I knew you rammed your tongue down Owen’s throat.”
That was how she got back at a guy for hurting her, by cutting him to the quick. Not by signing a life-altering contract.
“Oh,” he said flatly. “I really am trying to distance myself from everything and everyone important to me, aren’t I?”
/> That sounded more like the Kelly she knew.
“I don’t want you to distance yourself from me,” Dawn said. “I’m taking an early flight in the morning. I should be in Houston around three in the afternoon.”
“If you’re signing the contract, won’t you be going to Venice?”
“One of my conditions was that the contract doesn’t start until Friday. I said I needed time to get my affairs in order, but I really just needed to see you again. And apparently get your affairs in order.”
“I’m not having an affair, Dawn. I won’t cheat again,” he said. “I hate to do this over the phone. I want to look you in the eye when I pledge—”
“Don’t,” she said. “Don’t put yourself in the same position you were in with Sara. Don’t do that to yourself.”
“You don’t want me to promise?”
“I want you to follow your heart, and you can’t do that if it’s tied.” And if she wasn’t where his heart was leading, she’d suffer—God, how she’d suffer—but she didn’t want to be the one he settled for. She wanted to be the one he loved above all others.
“Do you think my heart wants Owen?” Kellen asked. “It doesn’t. It wants you.”
That was his head talking, and she knew it. She bit her lip and blinked, trying to hold back the tears swimming in her eyes. “I’m not sure I can let myself believe that right now.”
He was quiet for a long moment. “I understand.”
“Do you want me to come see you tomorrow in Austin or—” Because she would see him. She had not given up. She just didn’t want to hash this out over the goddamned phone while oceans separated them.
“Can I pick you up at the airport?”
“That’s a bit out of your way, isn’t it? I was going to rent a car.”
“If you don’t want to be trapped in a car with me, I understand, but I really need to be trapped in a car with you for a few hours.”
She smiled, her heart lightening at memories of their road trip from New Orleans to Galveston. How well they’d clicked. How much better they’d gotten to know each other. They did need to be trapped in a car together for a few hours to sort their mess out.
“I’d like for you to pick me up. If it’s not too much of an inconvenience.”
“I miss you,” he whispered. “So much it hurts.”
That was a great sign that they could work things out.
“I’ve never felt as alone as I do right now,” he continued. “Not even when Sara passed.”
Dawn realized that by damaging his friendship with Owen, he’d lost more than a good friend. He’d lost a family he considered his own. He’d lost an important connection with his turbulent career. He’d lost so much and gained nothing. Over a kiss. Just a kiss. The kiss that shattered his entire world. She wouldn’t let it destroy them as well.
“Things will work out with Owen,” she said, not wanting Kellen to feel the pain that would come if the opposite proved true. Owen was important to him. He needed Owen, and she wasn’t selfish enough to push a larger wedge between them even though she knew how easy it would be to take Kellen all for herself. All she had to do was make him feel guilty about cheating, and he’d be hers, but she refused to break him. He’d been broken too many times already.
“You’re beyond terrific,” he said. “I think I’m starting to have feelings for you.”
The hint of laughter in his voice made her heavy heart lighten.
“Starting? You should be full out in love with me by now,” she teased.
“Oh, I am. I’m just playing it cool. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She was so stunned by his claim that she didn’t answer immediately. Was he in love with her or just teasing? Because she wanted that—his heart. She wanted it more than she was willing to admit.
“Dawn?” he said after an awkward silence.
“See you tomorrow.” She hung up before she did something as stupid as confess her own strong feelings.
Chapter Eighteen
Kellen spent the day in his car. It was only a few hours to the Houston airport, but he needed the time to clear his head. He called Owen every hour or two, hoping he’d eventually wear the guy down or annoy him enough that he’d answer. So far, his plan wasn’t working.
What Kellen wouldn’t give for a time machine. For as magical as that kiss had been, no moment of bliss was worth losing their friendship. He felt like part of him was missing, and he didn’t know how he’d go on with yet another piece of himself taken by someone he loved. He didn’t have Sara’s piece of him back; he’s just finally found a way to live without it. And his grandfather’s piece? Yeah, Dawn didn’t know about that missing piece yet, but he planned to show her during her visit. He told himself that he wasn’t attached enough to Dawn to lose more of himself if she left, but deep down, he knew that wasn’t true. He’d already willingly handed over another piece of himself, and when she left him, there wouldn’t be much left of Kellen at all.
Although Owen wasn’t answering his calls, Kellen did manage to get a hold of Joan, who had moved beyond despair to a place of hope and gratitude that Chad was alive. Chad had made it through surgery, survived the most critical night, and was currently sedated in a hospital in Germany. His commanding officer had been kind enough to video chat with Joan and James while at Chad’s bedside and show them that their son was breathing, that his heart was beating, and though he was unconscious and his body was scarcely recognizable from the damage he’d suffered, that he was likely to recover if no complications arose. When Joan asked why Kellen had called her instead of Owen, he hadn’t told her the real reason. He wasn’t sure how she’d take the news that Kellen had done something as foolish, impulsive, and hurtful as make a move on her younger son when he’d just been stricken with devastating news about her older one. Jane was a wonderful, loving woman, but she was fiercely protective of her sons, as she should be. And as much as Kellen longed to be hers, he would never be her son.
He reached the airport about an hour before Dawn was scheduled to land. Inside the parked Firebird, he pulled on the white T-shirt he’d tossed into the passenger seat over the gift-wrapped box that now seemed trivial, and then he hurried inside the busy terminal to wait. He wanted to make sure she knew he was sorry, sure she knew he’d never meant to hurt her, sure she knew he’d never cheat again. Not with Owen. Not with anyone.
He watched the departures/arrivals board, fixated on her flight data and its “on time” status. When her plane landed, he stood and stared at the spot where she was likely to emerge from the terminal. He knew it would be a while before she could make her way through customs, but he didn’t want to miss his first possible glimpse of her. Had it only been days since they’d parted? It felt like an eternity. His entire life had changed since he’d kissed her goodbye in this very airport, and so had hers. She’d do great with Everlong and Pierre, and Kellen knew how lucky he was that she’d put her career off for even a few days to be with him.
When he spotted her, his breath caught. Her gorgeous, deep red hair was tied back at her nape, accentuating her graceful throat. He wanted to press his face into that neck—breathe her in, taste her skin, feel her pulse race beneath his lips—but he held back, even when her eyes found him and she smiled. He had no right to touch her, to take what he wanted. Not when he’d betrayed her.
She raced forward and dropped her bags at his feet before capturing him in her arms. The leash he’d used to tether himself snapped. His trembling hands rose to cup her lovely face, and he searched her green-flecked eyes for signs of hurt or mistrust. He found none. She looked damned happy to see him. Lucky, lucky man, he told himself as he bent to accept the kiss she offered and he did not deserve.
When he drew away, he held her gaze as he said, “I’m so—”
She shook her head. “Give me a minute to be happy to see you before you remind me of what an ass you were in my absence.”
So she wasn’t going to let him off the hook. He silently thanked her for knowing
her worth, for not giving him an easy out. He was so much harder on himself than she could ever be on him. She probably didn’t know she was doing him a favor by holding him accountable for his actions.
“Did you have a nice time in Prague?” he asked, kissing her again before she could answer, because she was beautiful and wonderful and caring and perfect and he just couldn’t help himself.
“I did. Wes followed me there. Did I mention that?”
Wes? Her agent? That seemed odd. “Do I have a reason to be jealous?”
“Of Wes?” When he nodded, she smiled. “Not unless you really wanted to see me perform.”
“Of course I did.”
“He’s happily married. And his wife was with him.”
“Then why was he—”
“To pressure me into signing that contract. Do you think I did the right thing?”
He kissed her crumpled brow. He really was an ass. She’d called him from Prague for reassurance about her life-changing decision, and he’d been so focused on himself, he’d basically brushed off her concerns.
“What’s done is done,” he said, and she tilted her head to look up at him.
She lifted both eyebrows. “I’m still not letting you off the hook, Kellen Jamison.”
“I wasn’t referring to what I did. I expect to do a lot of groveling.”
Her little smirk made his heart tremble. “Good. Grab my bags, will you? And point me in the direction of your car.”
He slung her carry-on over one shoulder and grabbed the handle of her small suitcase. His free hand sought hers and when she looked at him, he said, “Groveling will include lots of hand-holding, stolen kisses, lovesick looks, and oral pleasure.”
She bit her lip, the tiniest of moans escaping her, and allowed him to hold her hand as they made their way to his car.
“Do they even make these things anymore?” she asked as he opened the trunk of his perfectly restored ’73 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am.
“No, ma’am. It was my grandfather’s.” Most of the material possessions he loved and held dear had once belonged to his grandfather.
Treasure Me (One Night with Sole Regret Book 10) Page 21
