“Should have known you’d drive a badass car.” She grinned at him. “I didn’t think that Toyota was you.”
“That was a rental.” He stowed her luggage in the trunk and opened the passenger door.
She pointed at the small box on her seat.
“That’s for you,” he said. “When you’re ready to start hearing my apologies.”
She lifted the box before settling into the leather bucket seat and setting her gift on her lap. He waited a breath to see if she’d open it and when she didn’t, he carefully closed her door and ventured to the driver’s side. He took a deep steadying breath before climbing in beside her. She still hadn’t unwrapped the gift or even fingered the ribbon he’d tied in a complicated design around the box. She was staring straight ahead at the dashboard, as if opening the small token of his regret was her forgiveness and she wasn’t quite ready to take that step yet. He wouldn’t push her. He had no right to.
“Did you enjoy kissing Owen?” she asked quietly. The fist on her lap was clenched so tightly that her knuckles were white.
He could lie and lessen her pain, but she deserved to hear the truth. “Very much.”
“And you want him, don’t you?”
“Not as much as I want you.”
“And he wants you?”
“Not at all.”
Her tongue wet her lips. “He told you as much?”
“He hasn’t spoken to me since it happened. I’d say there’s my answer.”
Her finger traced the black ribbon crisscrossing the shiny red box. “I don’t think it’s the answer you believe it to be,” she said quietly, and then, as if she hadn’t spoken the most confusing words he’d ever heard, she asked, “Can we stop somewhere for lunch?”
“Whatever your heart desires.”
She reached over and covered his hand, which was gripping the steering wheel. “You. My heart desires you. That’s why all of this is so damned hard.”
Her lashes flicked upward, and all the hurt he’d expected to see in the terminal was now written in her troubled gaze.
“Your heart already has me,” he said.
“Then I want a hamburger.”
His snorted laugh was laced with agony. He hated that he’d caused her to doubt his feelings—his sincerity. Hated that he’d broken her trust.
“I love you.” The words slipped out before he could consider what he was saying or how it would make her feel at that moment.
Her hand slid from the back of his, but he caught it before she could take her touch from him, and pressed her knuckles against his thudding heart.
“You’re not allowed to say that to me right now,” she whispered, a single tear streaking down her cheek.
“Then I’ll just think it.”
She swallowed and turned to look out her window. He’d yet to start the car, so her view was of the big white SUV parked beside them. “I want fries too.”
He blew out a breath and released her hand so he could start the car. It roared to life, its familiar rumble steadying him as he shifted into reverse. They’d get through this. They had to. He couldn’t take another heartbreak.
Chapter Nineteen
As hungry as she was, Dawn only took a few bites of the hamburger she’d claimed to want. She didn’t even touch her fries. She’d thought being trapped in a car with Kellen for a few hours would allow them to talk and sort through their differences. Instead, the silence that spread between them seemed unbreakable. She pretended to nap, but her thoughts were too full to allow anything as restful as sleep.
“We’re almost there,” Kellen said when they were close to Austin. “Aren’t you going to open your gift?”
The smallish red box sat on her lap, its ribbon laced in an intricate pattern that reminded her of a spider web. She found the end of the black satin tucked into the underside and began the long involved process of untying the binding. It was strangely cathartic, as if each released knot allowed her to let go of her pain one piece at a time.
She could still hear Kellen’s whispered confession—I love you—echoing through her thoughts and squeezing at her heart. But could she bring herself to truly believe it when she knew he longed for another?
When the ribbon finally fell free as one long silky piece, she fingered the box lid with indecision before lifting it. Inside was a small wooden music box. Hadn’t Kellen proposed to Sara by putting her engagement ring in a music box? A dolphin-shaped music box. Dawn clearly remembered him telling her that.
She glanced at him, looking for clues, but his eyes were on the road. She lifted the music box out of its container and the lid opened slightly, causing it to release the sound of a single tinkling note. Just one note, but she already knew what song it would play—her favorite of Chopin’s nocturnes.
Her hands trembled as she opened the lid. Would there be a ring inside? What would she do if there was? They hadn’t known each other long enough to consider such a hefty commitment. She had yet to tell him she loved him.
When the lid was fully lifted, she found she’d been right. The song was Nocturne 20. A folded note was nestled among the black velvet lining of the box. She looked at Kellen—still minding the road like a first-time driver—and then unfolded the paper.
Were you expecting a ring?
She laughed and tossed the paper at him. “That was mean.”
“Did you want it to be a ring?” he asked.
She had, damn him, but bit her lip so she didn’t let that desire slip from her blurty mouth. She’d already forgiven him, damn him even more, and wished they could just put this mess behind them, damn him again.
“You want the grand gesture,” he said, looking at her at long last. “Remember?”
How could she forget?
She turned her attention to the now-empty box, listening to the soft tinkling it made. “I should make you squirm,” she said. “Make you feel as terrible as I feel.”
“I’m dying on the inside, if that knowledge is helpful.”
The song played slower and slower until the pin drum got hung up on a note and fell silent.
“I love you,” she said, not looking at him. She’d say it again later while staring into his dark eyes, but not this first time. This first time was much too terrifying.
“You’re sure? I have issues, you know.”
She laughed and closed the music box. “I’m sure. Take me to Owen’s house. I need to talk to him.”
“It wasn’t his fault. Don’t place the blame on him because you have feelings for me.”
“Who said I had feelings for you?” she teased.
“I think it was you.”
“It’s going to take a lot of mind-blowing orgasms to get me to admit that again.”
He laughed. “Challenge accepted.”
*****
Owen’s little blue cottage was even more adorable than the man himself. They’d tried to call him, to warn him of their arrival, but he still wasn’t answering Kellen’s calls. The anguished look on Kellen’s face as he shook his head and hung up for the third time tore at Dawn’s chest.
“Maybe you should have one of your bandmates call him on your behalf,” Dawn said.
“That might work,” he said, “assuming they’re speaking to me. I doubt Jacob and Adam will answer.”
“What about Gabe?”
“He was supposed to keep us posted on the situation with Jacob, but I haven’t heard from him. Maybe he called Owen, though.”
Kellen dialed Gabe’s number. No answer there either.
“I’m going to knock on the door,” Dawn said, reaching over to touch his cheek. “You stay here. We don’t want to spook him.”
Kellen smiled slightly. “He’s not a horse.”
“He’s acting like one’s ass at the moment. At the very least he should hear you out. You two have been friends for a very long time.” And Kellen was the type who could not easily let go of deep connections. As far as Dawn was concerned, these two had to settle their differences
for her sanity, if not for their own.
He squeezed her hand as she opened the car door. She squeezed back before leaving him behind and walking up the path. She rang the doorbell and glanced back at the car. Kellen was watching her, both hands gripping the Trans Am’s steering wheel.
The door creaked as it was slowly opened. Expecting Owen, or maybe even Lindsey, she was surprised to come face to face with a stunning woman—dark hair, dark eyes, gorgeous tanned skin. Dawn was at once reminded of a feminine version of Kellen. Her tongue forgot how to work as she gaped.
“Owen doesn’t want to talk to him,” the woman said, nodding toward the car.
So this was the right house.
“Not to either of you,” she added, even as she started to close the door.
Recovering from her initial surprise, Dawn slammed her forearm into the wooden surface to hold the door slightly ajar.
“Will you talk to us?” Dawn asked. “It’s Caitlyn, right?”
Caitlyn nodded, to which question, Dawn couldn’t be sure.
“I already spoke to Kellen. Owen still isn’t ready to face him. He isn’t handling this well.” Caitlyn glanced away and released a heavy sigh. “Or at all. He’d take my speaking to you as fraternizing with the enemy.” She rolled her eyes and whispered, “He tends to overreact.”
Dawn chuckled. “Mine fixates. He doesn’t know how to move on. And he’s sorry, Caitlyn. He’s really sorry for taking advantage of a terrible situation.” She didn’t say kissing Owen, because she wasn’t convinced he was sorry for the kiss itself. She knew he was sorry about the timing and the feelings of betrayal that kiss had caused.
“Try convincing Owen of that.” Caitlyn ran a hand over her face. She looked as tired as Dawn felt.
“I’d love to try. Will you ask him if he’ll talk to me?”
“He’s a cheater, Dawn!” Owen yelled from inside the house. Apparently, he’d been eavesdropping. “You should dump his ass.”
“Still overreacting,” Caitlyn said as she stepped onto the porch. She shut the door behind her and spoke in a hushed tone. “We have to do something to get these two back on speaking terms. I love the guy, but he is driving me nuts over one stupid kiss. He had absolutely no problem with Kellen jerking his dick at the sex club.”
“You were there?” Of course she was.
“To be honest, it was sexy as hell. Owen even called Kellen’s name when he came. I happened to be fucking him in the ass with a strap-on dildo at the time.”
Dawn’s jaw dropped, not at the kinky sex but at the déjà vu she was suddenly experiencing. “You’re kidding.”
Caitlyn shook her head. “It was a bit unsettling.”
“Kellen called Owen’s name when I had him tied up a couple of nights ago,” Dawn said, still whispering.
Now Caitlyn’s jaw was on the porch. “Get the fuck out of here.”
“Do you think—do you think they’re in love with each other and just won’t admit it?” She’d suspected as much, but when they were together they didn’t act like they were in love. They didn’t exchange longing glances or find excuses to touch each other. They acted like straight-guy buddies. She hadn’t even noticed any bromance between them, but then Kellen had been fixated on Lindsey, so maybe she’d missed something. Caitlyn had seen the pair interact much more often than Dawn had.
“I hope not,” Caitlyn said. “I really thought I’d finally found a guy I could love forever.”
Dawn squeezed her shoulder. “I’m in the exact same position.”
“I think we’re going to have to play dirty to get these two face-to-face.”
Dawn grinned. She adored the woman already. “What did you have in mind?”
A few minutes later, Dawn returned to the car. Caitlyn had her number. They’d brainstorm and conspire when Owen wasn’t peering out at them through a window and Kellen wasn’t watching them from his souped-up Trans Am. In Dawn’s brief conversation with Caitlyn, they’d agreed on one thing for sure. They had to get the guys back together—and not just Owen and Kellen but the entire band. Sometimes it took a smart woman or two to straighten out the fucked-up mess a group of unsupervised men made.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
We finally made it through the second five-book arc of the Sole Regret series. Wow, that was intense! All the players are finally in place; all the shitstorms have been stirred. Now I just have to fix the mess I’ve made and tie up all the series loose ends in the final five-book arc of the series. Next up is Gabe’s last book, Trust Me. I finally get to give our sexy, inventive drummer the happily ever after he deserves. I’m sure it will be bittersweet to finish his story.
I’d like to thank my amazing editor, Beth Hill, my sensational beta reader/book-signing assistant/suckage-selfie partner, Cyndi McGowen, and every person in my life that puts up with me when I’m struggling to get these stories out of my head. And as always, thanks to my fans, who allow me to fall in love with rock stars over and over and over again.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Combining her love for romantic fiction and rock 'n roll, Olivia Cunning writes erotic romance centered around rock musicians. Raised on hard rock music from the cradle, she attended her first Styx concert at age six and fell instantly in love with live music. She's been known to travel over a thousand miles just to see a favorite band in concert. As a teen, she discovered her second love, romantic fiction—first, voraciously reading steamy romance novels and then penning her own. Growing up as the daughter of a career soldier, she's lived all over the United States and overseas. She currently lives in Illinois. To learn more about Olivia and her books, please visit www.oliviacunning.com.
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