by Pat Simmons
Is this worth it? She didn’t have the same liberties as other ladies who would say yes to an evening out. She didn’t have a disposable income to lavish on outfits, or a carefree lifestyle to enjoy the company of a good-looking man until after the clock struck midnight. Not anymore.
One of her many favorite customers labored to clear the bookstore entrance. Karyn hurried to help her. “Good morning, Mrs. Harris. How are you today?”
Mrs. Harris had elongated huffing. “Considering I woke up this morning,” she paused, gathered a deep breath, then continued, “I’d say I’m off to a good start.”
The woman was as tall—maybe five feet five—as she was wide. Karyn couldn’t distinguish where her bust ended and hips began. Her clothes were a uniform of dull colors, but rain or shine, heat or snow, she always topped off her look with a hat, bearing fruits, flowers, feathers, or something odd that defied people to take a second look.
Since it was the first Friday of the month, they exchanged a carbon copy of the previous month’s conversation. Mrs. Harris never strayed from her usual purchase: one crossword puzzle magazine for her and two books for her grandson, Sonny.
“I didn’t bring my walking cane along because I doubled up on my vitamin B tablets today. I’ve got plenty of energy. Just give me a few seconds for my blood sugar to catch up,” Mrs. Harris said, waving off Karyn’s assistance.
Her few seconds actually turned into lengthy minutes. In the interim, a young boy approached the desk, needing help, so Karyn tapped on the store’s computer keyboard to search a book for him. Karyn squinted, wondering if she should offer Mrs. Harris help again, but three ladies intercepted, wanting a recommendation for their book club.
Finally, Mrs. Harris dragged her body to the customer service desk and practically collapsed against the counter for support. “Whew.” She beamed. “I feel those vitamins working. Now, Sonny wrote me and is asking for the book, The Hood Game Plan.”
The boy to whom she referred was thirty-five years old and serving twenty years for charges stacked against him, including probation violation and carrying a firearm. Sonny’s biggest blessing was he had someone on the outside who loved him.
“You know we can’t ship any books that the prison system says depict or glorify violence or abuse toward women.”
“Humph. I don’t care what he’s reading as long as he’s reading. Sonny can’t do nothing locked up anyway. If that’s what he likes, I say let him have his enjoyment.”
Since Karyn never budged, the elderly woman always relented month after month.
“Sure you don’t want to try some Christian fiction thrillers? We have them in paperback. They’ll scare the devil out of him and have him begging for the Holy Ghost.”
“Nah. Jesus can’t get him out of prison, so he won’t want that stuff.”
For the next ten minutes, Karyn suggested other choices. Surprisingly, the elderly patron splurged on three Manga comic books for Sonny.
As Mrs. Harris headed for the register, Karyn turned around and jumped. She patted her chest to slow down her erratic breathing. “You scared me.”
“Sorry,” Levi said, but his eyes sparkled. “My intention was to take you to lunch.”
“Don’t we have a dinner date?” Karyn frowned. She could smell his cologne. She tried not to blink as she dared to inhale. She doubted another man would be as handsome as Levi in a black leather cap with a black jacket. His tie was a Crayola print against a black background. Karyn lifted a brow, questioning his fashion statement although she guessed Dori had something to do with it.
Levi twisted his mouth in amusement. “I’m glad you remembered and accepted.” He paused, making Karyn impatient. “Why wait for dinner when we can share a pre-dinner snack together?”
She folded her arms. “Really? I agreed to dinner, not breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
“I could’ve brought you breakfast,” he said with an arrogant shrug.
Karyn was beginning to second-guess her decision to finagle her way into leaving early to get ready for her date with Levi. She prayed their personalities didn’t clash.
It was undeniable that Levi Tolliver was a gentleman, but he also seemed overly confident. Tonight she would watch for any telltale signs of him being controlling or possessing unchristian-like characteristics. If so, the night would end with “Thanks for dinner. I’ll see you at the bookstore.”
Karyn snapped out of a game plan she was formulating before their possible relationship’s first pitch, coin toss, or the drop of the punt to start. “Today will be extremely busy. If I take a break, I may not get off on time, which means we may need to reschedule—”
“That’s not going to happen since it took a year for you to agree to go out with me.” The teasing dimmed in Levi’s eyes. He frowned in displeasure. “We’re not rescheduling, Karyn. Some blessings only happen once—twice if God speaks it.”
His words were eloquently spoken and they had the desired effect, because Karyn’s heart muscles danced. Karyn smiled and he matched hers. She liked hearing him put God in control of things, because at times, she struggled with that.
“It did not take that long. I’ve only been out—I mean worked here six months.”
Whew. That was close. Just that quick, the devil had arrived, acting as the middleman between them. Satan’s mission was to keep adding interest to a debt already paid. Her past was hers—and private. He who the Son has set free is free indeed, she rebuked the devil.
Clearing her throat, Mrs. Harris rescued her. “Karyn, you’re getting to me. Throw in one of them religious books you were talking about. Maybe it will scare some of the devils out of that place.”
Withholding her smile in victory that she was planting a tiny seed in Sonny’s life, Karyn nodded and whispered to Levi, “I’ve got to go. See you later.”
He didn’t move.
“Promise,” she hissed, frowning.
His dimples stood at attention. Levi nodded and began his swagger out the store.
Karyn exhaled as she watched his gait. She swallowed. His confidence scared her and excited her. She had to get off early. She needed more time preparing her heart than getting dressed.
Returning to Mrs. Harris, Karyn addressed the shipping label with Sonny’s full legal name and identification number on the paperback books, since hard covers were not allowed in the correctional center in Centralia, Illinois. Hours later, as expected, the first day of the month brought in a steady line of mothers, wives, and girlfriends who ordered care packages of books for their loved ones behind bars.
It was a bittersweet service. Although Karyn didn’t know the inmates, she now worked in the community where a high number of offenders once lived. She didn’t need to read the newspaper or watch the news to know what areas had unsuccessfully tried to nurture law-abiding citizens. The book orders shipped to prisons said it all. It was a bustling middle-class neighborhood with sturdy homes, good schools, and thriving businesses. So what happened? The devil tricked them.
Her shift ended an hour early at three when two employees showed up for work at the same time because there was a mix up in schedules. The boss gave Karyn the option to leave. She jumped on it. Her bus was pulling up seconds after she got to the stop. Karyn experienced a fleeting moment of nervousness. Was God orchestrating the day’s events so she would be ready for her date?
Okay, Lord, what are you trying to tell me?
CHAPTER 6
Six forty. Levi was parked in front of Karyn’s apartment building, debating. Twenty minutes early was a first for him. When he and Diane dated, Levi’s reputation was, at a minimum, five minutes late. Diane, who possessed an easygoing nature, charged his offenses to the male species.
Another first, let Rossi tell it, Levi had broken dating protocol by his unrelenting pursuit of Karyn. He smirked. God had given him a new focus.
While Levi was deciding if he should get out and knock on the door, God whispered into his ear to look, listen, and learn. What he really wanted
to know was why Karyn and why now? God never answered.
When Diane was alive, Levi was a practicing Christian. After her death, he stewed in rebellion and his spiritual life had been a journey where the valleys shifted like quicksand and any attempts to scale the mountains had too many booby traps. Fast forward four years and he would describe himself as the reconstruction of a Christian.
“Seven minutes.” He continued his count down. “Early is better than late, right?” he convinced himself as he got out of his car and slipped on his cashmere coat.
Levi jogged up the stairs. The block was quiet, somehow escaping sounds from Route 159, a busy thoroughfare blocks away. He hadn’t noticed any of that the night he followed Karyn’s bus. His focus had been to make sure she was safely inside.
Actually, he wasn’t familiar with this side of town. It appeared safe, but looks could be deceiving. The apartment building was free of excessive shrubbery. It had just enough landscaping to show visitors that the owner cared. Before he could knock, the door swung opened, Karyn appeared. She stepped out and closed the door quickly behind her.
“You’re early,” she accused. “Good thing I was ready.” She smiled.
“I couldn’t wait,” Levi whispered his confession.
The daintiness of her beauty was so overpowering, he fought not to collapse. Karyn’s eyes sparkled, her lashes seemed to have grown, and her curls…Where did she get all that hair? The little black dress added to her allure.
Levi stuttered as his lips tried to get in sync with his heart. “Wow. Karyn.”
She shivered. The black sweater draped over her shoulders was no match for the chill. “Here.” Levi shook his coat off and whipped it around her like a magician’s cape.
“Thank you,” she said, barely audibly, welcoming his gesture.
“You look absolutely beautiful,” he complimented, then ushered her to the car.
She smelled like flowers, a deviation from her fresh soap scent. “I guess today’s warm weather fool us. The falling temperature is evidence that it’s early November.”
At his car, Levi opened her passenger door. As she slid into the seat, he gawked at her molded legs supported by high-heeled sandals—a little too exposed for the night air, but nice—and healthy calves. He exhaled, fingering the ridge of his nose to push back his glasses, only to remember his vision was intensified by his contacts.
Closing her door, Levi hurried to his side, not motivated by the chill, but the yearning for Karyn’s company. He felt like beating his chest like King Kong. Levi was a thirty-one-year-old father and widower, not a teenager new on the dating scene. Turning the key, Levi blasted the heat for her comfort and quietly assessed her.
“I realize now that I made a mistake when I chose that dress.”
Facing him, Karyn sucked in her breath. Her expression appeared guarded as she waited for him to explain.
“You’re the most gorgeous creature God has ever made. To be honest, you’re twisting my self-control in that dress.”
Lashes—whether hers or borrowed—lowered. Blushing, she teased, “Levi Tolliver, the clock is ticking on our date.”
“Right, Miss Wallace. Buckle up. Reservations await us at Andria’s Restaurant.”
Levi’s drive to O’Fallon, Illinois, was surreal. Contemporary gospel floated between them, overriding their silence. One thing was for certain, he would not rush the night with Karyn. He planned to take his time and get to know her.
Less than thirty minutes later, Levi almost passed up the restaurant with a black-and-white-striped awning that was nestled between two striking evergreen trees. After parking, Levi escorted his date inside. He held her close with Karyn’s protest.
A woman greeted them at the door and led them to a table for two draped in white linen with burgundy cloth napkins folded into teepees. Dainty sconces on a beige wall shed a faint light, giving Karyn a subtle spotlight. The hostess recited the night’s specials, then placed menus on their plates. With ice water already at their place settings, Karyn ordered a glass of Sprite. Levi dittoed.
“I thought she would never leave,” Levi teased, winking. He gave Karyn his full appraisal, ignoring the menus. He stared unflinchingly and appreciatively.
As if the quaint table wasn’t intimate enough, he slowly inched his face closer, coaxing her to meet him halfway. At first, she hesitated, then took a chance. Levi had missed the intimacy. He enjoyed watching her.
Karyn’s skin glowed, reminding him of a cup of coffee with a generous drowning of cream. She had blemish-free skin—no beauty moles or dimples. Her teeth were a few shades away from ultra-white, but beautiful when she smiled and the sincerity reached her eyes. A mass of weak curls with a dusting of shimmer replaced her girlish braid. He counted a few wild strands of premature gray, but it didn’t distract from her beauty.
“Thank you for spending your Friday evening with me.” Levi was in no rush tonight. He didn’t work on Saturdays, Dori was sleeping over at her aunt Jet’s house, and Karyn had mentioned she only worked two Saturdays out of the month because she had a class and studied. They had plenty of time to get to know each other.
“Levi, you didn’t have to bribe me with a dress to go out with you.” She pinched the tablecloth as if she had told a lie. No movement went unnoticed. Plus, she didn’t sound believable but the clarity in her eyes revealed she was telling the truth.
Still, Levi wasn’t buying it. “Oh, so you would’ve gone out with me, huh?”
“Eventually,” Karyn said, tilting her head and appearing to give it some thought. “Okay, maybe.” Unfortunately, that answer didn’t sound convincing as she anchored her elbows on the table. She smugly rested her chin on top of her linked hands.
His nostrils flared as if he smelled a challenge. “Hmm. And it’s that percentage of doubt that I had to eliminate.” He blinked first. “So, tell me about Karyn Wallace. Who is she? What does she like? What church does she attend?” Levi Thomas Tolliver was swimming back to the shore of wanting companionship.
“Your drinks,” their hostess said, returning. “Are you ready to place your orders?”
Karyn looked guiltily. Levi shrugged. When Karyn suggested he order for them, he opted for the easy way out. “Okay, the special sounds good, but with Caesar salads. Oh, just in case we become distracted, we’ll share a slice of cheesecake for dessert.”
The hostess smiled and left to do his bidding. Levi returned his focus to Karyn. “As you were about to say, Miss Wallace?”
Karyn took a deep breath and relaxed. “I just turned twenty-seven, so I guess you could say I’m wearing my late birthday gift.”
Although Levi liked the sound of that, he didn’t interrupt.
“I’m taking one business class at Southwestern Illinois College in Belleville, you know where I work, and I’m an active member of Crowns for Christ Church.” She tapped her finger on the tablecloth as if she had just typed a period at the end of a story. Her misshaped nails hinted at a self-manicure. Either way, the polish was evenly applied.
Levi read between paragraphs of what she wasn’t saying. She was humble, ambitious because she was advancing her education, and concerned about her salvation.
“I’d rather talk about that adorable little girl of yours,” Karyn said.
It didn’t take much coaxing for Levi to sing the praises of his daughter. Before long, their steaks arrived bathed in the legendary Andria’s Steak Sauce. Karyn closed her eyes and stole a generous whiff. Levi stretched out his hands, waiting for hers. He squeezed her fingers a couple of times. Her hands were soft, but not as moist as his late wife’s, his mother’s or other women he had known. He dropped his head and refocused to concentrate on his prayer. Normally, he allowed Dori to bless their food.
“Lord Jesus, thank You for bringing me joy in the morning,” he referenced Psalm 30:5. He silently praised God his drought was gone and joy had resurfaced. Rubbing Karyn’s fingers, Levi continued, “Please, bless and sanctify our meal and the hands that prepared it.
” He was about to say Amen when he thought about Daniel, chapter five, he added, “Lord, I need Your handwriting on the wall.”
Ending the prayer, Levi indulged in one delicious bite after another of his sirloin strip steak. He only took his eyes off Karyn when he was forced to cut a piece. What is going through her mind? he wondered.
When Karyn asked about Dori again, she didn’t seem to have the same inquisitiveness as the handful of other women about the circumstances surrounding his late wife’s death, and how they were qualified to fill his loneliness.
“Aren’t you curious about her mother?” He lifted his glass and took a sip.
“I already know Dori’s mother was a blessed woman. Besides, curiosity not only killed the cat, it sometimes can kill dreams. I believe that everybody has the right to keep their thoughts private about unhappy moments… and mistakes from the past.”
Did that mean she didn’t want to pry or she was uninterested? When had he become so analytical? “Enjoy yourself, nut”, he could hear Rossi say. He didn’t want to the spoil the night with her reliving the memories.
Shaking his head, Levi chuckled. “My little pride and joy is doing extremely well. She’s spending the night with my sister-in-law. As a matter of fact, Dori told me to be on my best behavior, eat all my vegetables, and not to talk with food in my mouth.”
Karyn’s engaging laugh pulled Levi into the amusement. She complimented his parenting skills in reference to Dori’s politeness and intelligence.
“I have a lot of needed and uninvited help in that area. That’s what happens when someone is suddenly thrust into widowhood.” Levi paused and gave Karyn space to quench any curiosity she had about his status with questions. But she didn’t bite as they finished dinner. He wanted her to have a glimpse of his open wound.
