by Pat Simmons
But he felt helpless to comfort Levi.
Finally, Jet’s energy was sapped as she slumped against him while he guided her to the elevator. He wanted to get her to the nearest emergency room to be admitted for mental observation. When he glanced at her again, he felt she was no longer a threat, but a sedative wouldn’t be a bad idea. If only he was a medical doctor and could prescribe it.
Feeling Jet was in no condition to drive, Rossi became the designated driver. His first stop was a drug store where he asked the pharmacist to suggest a non-prescription sleep-aid medication. Soon Rossi pulled into her driveway. “Do you have a remote on your key chain?”
Jet nodded, but didn’t make an effort to get it.
“Ah, will you use it so we can go inside?”
She scraped the bottom of her purse, located her ring of keys, then tapped the remote button to open the garage door. Rossi drove forward. He helped Jet out, and she followed him at a snail’s pace. The beeping starting as Rossi watched Jet ceremoniously flick on her lights. Now he understood that habit stemmed from fear after Diane’s death.
“I prefer you put in your code because I’m not Henry Louis Gates, and President Obama will not invite me to the White House for a beer if I try to explain my way out once the police come,” he said, referring to the mix-up with the Harvard Professor and the Boston officers as Gates was trying to enter his own house.
She did as instructed.
Rossi stuck his head in the living room then in the formal dining room, checking needlessly for anything suspicious. Jet’s physical house was in order, but her mental and spiritual house were in disarray. He had once told her that.
“It’s not of my choosing,” Jet balked.
Rossi didn’t respond to her sudden rambling. He chose to pray silently rather than ignite the rage swirling within her.
Opening a cabinet, he grabbed a glass for water. Rossi pulled the over-the-counter medicine out of the bag and read the instructions. “Here, two of these should calm you down. Take a short nap. I’ll be here, and we can talk afterward.”
Jet didn’t resist his orders as she wandered down the hall and disappeared into a room. When Rossi heard the door close, he exhaled and slid into an uncomfortable chair that had to be a show piece only. He rubbed his face and let his head fall back. “Lord, why am I the one who’s supposed to hold things together?”
Rossi’s brain seemed to freeze on the last few hours: Jet admitting her paranoia, Karyn confessing past transgressions, and Levi’s lack of a reaction—that was the scariest. But the pieces were starting to fit. Karyn attended Crowns for Christ, a church dedicated to prison ministry. She worked at a job she seemed more than capable of owning or managing. Then there were Karyn’s Cinderella outings with early check-ins Levi had complained about a few times. His cousin hadn’t connected the dots, but neither had he.
“Okay, Lord, what’s the game plan now?”
Silence.
Shaking off his jacket, Rossi anchored his elbows on his knees then dropped his face in the palms of his hands. “Karyn killed her baby?” he whispered as if not believing it. It seemed far-fetched. Unclipping his smartphone, he called Levi. The call went straight to voicemail.
He wondered how Karyn was holding up. Clearly, it wasn’t easy for her to hear the angst of victims, even though she had paid for her crime in full. Rossi sighed and scanned his address book for Nalani’s number. There was no doubt that Nalani loved her sister. That’s why he wasn’t surprised when she gave him her number for emergencies after they skated on Christmas day.
Rossi never took pleasure in being the bearer of bad news. How was he to know he would have to call Nalani so soon? He selected her number and waited. Her sultry voice greeted him in a voicemail.
“Nalani, this is Rossi. I don’t know whether you’ve spoken with Karyn or not, but she told Levi about her time in prison. It was an ugly scene. Both of them are pretty upset. Call me as soon as you get my message.” He clicked off.
His cell vibrated almost immediately. “Nalani?”
“Yes? Who is this?” she asked.
“Rossi. Did you listen to my message?
“No, why?”
“Levi knows.” He sighed. “The truth came out, but I don’t know if she planned to tell him.”
“Of course she planned to tell him,” Nalani snapped.
Rossi sat straighter. He was not about to get into it with another woman that day. “I don’t doubt that, but it couldn’t have come at a worse time. It was a big mess. I just wish I had known.”
“Karyn’s past is hers to share as she wills, not to be threatened into confessing. She loves Levi.”
“He loves her, too, but this isn’t a simple misunderstanding to overcome.”
“I’d better call my sister, then. I’ll be back in town as soon as possible.”
Hitting the Off button, Rossi dropped his head. It was prayer time—again. If he could retire from the ministry at the age of thirty-three, he would, but the choice wasn’t his. Fortunately or unfortunately, God chose him. Not the other way around, Praise God. Many are called, but few are chosen, he recited Matthew 22:14.
Soon, Jet stumbled out of a room. She didn’t look any better after the nap. As a matter of fact, she appeared worse. “Rossi,” she said, startled. “I forgot you were here. She frowned. “Did I kill her?”
“No.”
“Too bad.” Jet spun around, retreating back down the hall toward her bedroom.
CHAPTER 43
Where was a cab when a person wanted to make a fast get-away? Karyn had walked blocks to put some distance between her and them—Jet, Minister Rossi, and…Levi. In hindsight, she wished she had taken Nalani’s offer to buy her a car, but Karyn wanted to use the trust money for her business venture. Not to mention her driver’s license had expired while in prison.
Now, sitting stoically on a bus stop bench, Karyn relived the last five minutes of her life before it ended a second time. Her tears flowed unchecked. Karyn wanted to be cried out by the time she made it back to New Beginnings, which would take two bus rides.
“I knew this was going to happen.” She wasn’t naïve enough to believe it would have turned out any other way. Where was her testimony? She endured the test—barely. “God, you knew about this, and like Job, you had confidence that I could pass this test, but from where I’m sitting, I don’t think so.”
Moments like this, she needed Buttercup—her humor, her scriptures, her pep talk—but she had moved on with her life. Although Buttercup had completed her parole, Karyn hadn’t finished hers, and to communicate with a convicted ex-offender was forbidden. “Forbidden.” She twisted her mouth at the bitter taste. “Love is forbidden.”
Her chariot arrived and Karyn boarded the bus. If Jet’s handprint didn’t have Karyn’s face red, then her swollen eyes and red nose were a silent hint to bus riders not to ask if she was okay. Clearly, she wasn’t. She loved Levi, and for no other reason than being Cinderella for two months, the fallout was worth every moment she had with him.
She groaned, not looking forward to the conversation she would have to have with her caseworker about what happened. Ten minutes later, Karyn stepped off the first bus to wait to transfer to another one. She glanced at her phone, three missed calls. Her heart danced—could it be Levi? Since the group moderator had requested for everyone’s phone to be turned off, Karyn put hers on silent. Parolees had to be accessible at all times. Did she have the emotional strength to talk to him as an enemy and not the man she loved?
Her heart sunk. The calls were from Nalani, but no messages. With a short wait until the next bus and the temperatures dropping, her sister’s voice would warm her emotionally. She called the caseworker first, then Nalani.
“Karyn!”
“What’s wrong?” Karyn panicked at Nalani’s hysterical tone. She pushed her debacle on the back burner as her concern grew for her sister.
“Well, there are several things, and they all involve you.”
“Levi?” Karyn slumped. “How did you know?”
“Let’s say a bird didn’t tell me. His cousin, Minister Rossi, called me.”
“I didn’t know he had your number. Did he say how Levi’s doing?”
“My concern is for you. I gave Rossi my number weeks ago in case there was an emergency. That was a good move on my part, considering my sister didn’t call me.”
Closing her eyes, Karyn replayed the scene word for word, including Jet’s blow and Levi’s response. “You should’ve seen the hurt on his face.”
“No, I should have seen the look on Jet’s face after I returned her slap.” She mumbled profanities.
Nalani was seconds away from leaving Chicago and going to leave her trademark on Jet. Karyn snickered at her younger sister’s feistiness, but since their reconnection, Karyn wanted to be the example for Christ. “You sound just like Buttercup.”
“Girl, I am so mad…I’m more deadly than Buttercup because I don’t have a record yet,” Nalani said, fuming.
“Believe me, you don’t want one.” Ironically, Karyn calmed her sister while down-playing her own emotional breakdown.
“Okay, okay, but you better pray for that Jet woman, because she messed with my sister. You weren’t responsible for her loss. I was going to drive down on Saturday, but you know what? I’m booking a flight for tomorrow. I’m not waiting until the weekend.
“Nalani, I’ll be all right.”
“I know you will. You’ve survived so much more. What’s that saying? This too will pass. Frankly, I was hoping for…never mind. I believed Levi really cared about you, but it takes a special man to love a special woman who has baggage. And all women do.”
“What do you know about a special man and baggage?” Karyn teased.
Karyn smiled, forgetting Nalani could turn on and off the different sides of her temperament. Her talent could earn her a future Oscar nomination.
“You can always move back home. Levi was your only reason to stay.”
“And Chicago is my reason to stay away. I can see the headlines. The late Senator Wallace’s daughter has been released from prison, blah, blah. That’s okay. There are too many bad memories. I’ll visit, but I don’t want to plant roots there again.”
“Oh, so Fairview Heights doesn’t have bad memories?”
“Actually,” Karyn said, “the good outweigh the bad. I’ve got a great support system through my church. My heart will bounce back, and there is a third reason. I can’t walk away from my business venture with Halo and Buttercup. We’ve been saving as much as we possibly can for Crowning Glory. A church member submitted our paperwork for a small business loan for minority owners.
“It won’t be just our livelihood, but we would give back to other ex-felons who need a haircut or shampoo for that job interview. I’ve worked hard on that business proposal. Even Levi was impressed…” Karyn shrugged. He didn’t matter anymore.
“I want you happy. If you want to move to Kentucky, we’ll move. If you want to stay there, I’ll move there, but we’re staying together.”
Yes, Karyn was ending yet another chapter in her life. She tried to justify not telling Levi. When he poured out his soul to her on the first date, she should have walked away as God’s cue to keep her from hurting him more.
“I don’t care what that Butternut roommate of yours says, you didn’t owe him an explanation of your past. We all make mistakes.”
“Wait a minute. Weren’t you the one who told me to tell him a few weeks ago?
“Like I said, we all make mistakes. That was mine.” Nalani laughed and despite the dry humor, Karyn chuckled, too.
She admired her sister. Nalani was so strong-willed, independent, and most of all—despite what Karyn had done, Nalani still loved her—the sinner she was and all. Defying their father, Nalani had written Karyn, but urged her every time not to respond, until the letters stopped.
Nalani had delayed her education to single-handedly care for their severely depressed and health-compromised father. She was the woman Karyn had once thought she would become. “I love you,” she whispered as her bus turned the corner.
“I love you, too. We’ll get through this—together.”
“I know. I’ve got to go. My public chariot is here.”
“You need a car!”
“Bye.” Karyn shivered. Her sister was right. Feeling better, she managed a smile as she boarded the bus. Karyn headed to the back of the bus as the Lord dropped a familiar church song in her heart, I’m yours, Lord. Try me now and see, see if I can be completely yours… Twenty minutes later, she opened the door to the shelter.
Her counselor stopped her at the desk. “Hi, Karyn. I need a urine sample. We have new house guests, which means I need a random drug sample from everybody over the weekend.” Monica squinted as Karyn reached for the cup.
“What happened?” Monica asked as she pulled Karyn near a light, angling her face. Evidently, Jet’s handprint was ingrained on her cheek.
“I got slapped,” she answered with humiliation.
“Your involvement in any kind of altercation could violate your parole.”
The reminder—every moment of her life was a reminder: Mrs. Harris’s monthly purchase for her grandson, the slap from Jet, her living quarters—how could Karyn forget she was on parole? The staff was kind to its temporary residents, but once the law was laid down, it was enforced without mercy.
After Karyn rehashed the evening, Monica grappled for encouraging words, but nothing helped. Karyn only wanted to do one thing—cry, but first she would apply a cold towel to her face. She would pray later. There would be plenty of time in the future.
“I didn’t think it was a good idea, but you were adamant about going. The helplessness victims feel is raw. It doesn’t matter whether you committed the crime or not. You represent an uncontrollable person who broke the law and therefore, part of a whole problem. It’s not going to be easy, but you’ll go on and live a normal life. Now,” her counselor said, holding a Dixie-sized cup, “I still need a urine sample.”
Karyn nodded and took off her coat before complying. Afterward, she counted the steps as she climbed the stairs to the third floor. Unlocking the suite, she longed for Buttercup’s presence as she headed for the bathroom. Turning on the light, she peered at her face. Jet had large hands and long fingers. The redness on her cheek proved it.
She grabbed her face towel and made a cold compress. Back into the bedroom, Karyn laid across the bed with her clothes on. Her mind floated back to the day that changed her life. She then chided herself for believing in fairy tales.
Mentally exhausted recalling past wounds, Karyn drifted off to sleep, but not before remembering Levi’s face—his twin dimples, brown eyes with tenderness when she caught him looking at her. The absence of Dori’s smile would crush her the most.
Saturday morning, Karyn woke to the commotions of a new roommate, Jay—Jalisiana. The woman was shorter than Karyn, and judging from first impressions, Jay needed whatever services Buttercup would give her for free. Before she could get out of bed and use the bathroom, Karyn learned Jay’s life story, age, and her score on the GED test, as well as how much time she served for larceny and picking locks.
“Girl, what happened to you?” Popping a tiny piece of gum that wasn’t meant to be popped, Jay stood inches in front of Karyn. Her large dingy eyes scanned Karyn’s face. They widened as if they were magnifying glasses that had discovered a piece of lint. “Did you cut her?”
Karyn shook her head. “No,” she said softly. “Jesus would have wanted me to turn the other cheek.”
“Humph.” She stepped back and put her fists on her little girl hips. “Jesus never got slapped like that either.”
“No…he was pierced in his side, whipped on his back, and was fitted with a crown of thorns.”
“Girl, that’s deep.” She walked back into her newly assigned bedroom. “I’m going to take a nap now. I’m a light sleeper, so try not to make that much noise.�
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Karyn’s day went downhill from there. Since Nalani was juggling her class schedule and selling the family house, it would be another few days before she could get away. Karyn wished she was at work or anywhere besides staying in the shared living quarters, watching television. She wished she had registered for spring classes.
She called Pastor Scaife. While pouring out her heart and accepting prayer, Jay got up and strolled into Karyn’s bedroom, coming out with a bar of soap. She was clearly violating two house rules: no borrowing and no entering another’s bedroom.
On Sunday morning, Karyn locked her bedroom door, thankful she didn’t really have any valuables except the music box Levi had bought her as one of many gifts for Christmas. The tennis bracelet she cherished never left her sight or wrist except when she showered. Changing her mind, Karyn unlocked and grabbed the miniature music box. She would stuff it in her purse, if she had to dump everything out to make room.
The church van was waiting, which was a first. She and Buttercup had always been ready. Her Sunday attire was a dark dress and boots. It matched her mood. Her face bore only a faint bruise, thanks to some makeup tricks Buttercup had taught her.
She took a deep breath as she stepped up into the van. The thrill she felt in the presence of the saints of God was gone.
“Child, you okay?” Mother Caldwell asked before Deacon Deacon had shut the doors. “Pastor Scaife called me last night and told the prayer warriors to start praying for one of our own. I was on my knees for an hour, mainly because it took me a while to get up, but it was worth it, baby. God was speaking to me something fierce through His holy tongues. I figured He knew what was needed.”
“Thank you.” Karyn collapsed in the seat Mother Caldwell patted next to her. “It hurts.” She clutched her purse, mindful of the treasure inside. “It was another crime that I couldn’t get away with. I did nothing to stop him from falling in love with me.”
Mother Caldwell adjusted her hat, then hugged Karyn. “God cleans up real good. The Lord has the final say-so in our lives, not the devil.”
