Home on the Ranch: Tennessee Bull Rider

by April Arrington

  Mac smiled. “It’s forgotten.”

  Landon nodded, then looked at Nate, his attention lingering in the vicinity of his chin. “How’s your jaw?”

  Nate cocked an eyebrow. “How’s your temper?”

  Landon returned his stare for a moment, then turned away, grimacing at the rotting pumpkins on the porch rail.

  “I’m gonna slip back in the house and let you two hash things out.” Mac paused on his way in, smiling. “Just don’t throw down again. I’m going upstairs to my beautiful wife and I’m not coming back down here to save either one of you hotheads.”

  The door thudded shut on Mac’s exit and they stayed silent for a few minutes, breathing the night air and listening to the fall breeze rustle through the trees.

  “I know how ironic and insincere this will sound,” Landon said, glancing at Nate, “but I hate that I hit you the other night. I’ve been so angry for so long that I didn’t stop to think who it was I was angry with. Whatever happened between you and Amber, you’re a good man, Nate. I’ve always known that. And I’m not proud of the things I said or the way I acted. I was a lousy friend.”

  Nate relaxed slightly.

  “But the worst,” Landon continued, “is that I hurt Amber, too. I hurt both of you. Maybe even your chances of getting together and working things out. And believe it or not, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.”

  Nate stood. “I know. But you don’t get to hog all the blame. I should’ve come clean with you a long time before the party. As soon as I found out, I should’ve faced you, told the truth.” He shook his head. “I handled it badly. All of it. And I was ashamed of leaving Amber like I did.”

  “Why did you?”

  “I was afraid of letting her down. Didn’t think I was good enough for her. Thought I needed to prove something to everyone before I’d be worthy of her.” He looked away. “And I was afraid of losing my friendship with you.” He faced him again, jaw clenching. “But I’m going to be honest with you and say, when it comes to Amber, I don’t care about that anymore. Not if it costs me her. I don’t want to lose your friendship—it’d hurt like hell for a long time if I did—but I’m not sacrificing what I have—” He winced. “I’m not sacrificing what I’m hoping I could have with Amber one day just to keep you in my life. I love her. And having a chance with her is worth more to me than anything I might lose.”

  Landon leaned against the porch rail and thumped one of the smashed pumpkins. “We all made a damned mess of things, didn’t we?”

  Nate nodded.

  “Amber’s put out with me,” Landon said. “Thinks I stuck my nose where it shouldn’t have been and believes I was unfair to you. Both of which are true.” He turned, his blue eyes sincere. “But I want you to know, you would never have to choose between having a relationship with Amber and having a friendship with me. Nothing would make me prouder or happier than to be able to call you my brother-in-law.”

  Nate managed a small smile, but the sinking feeling in his gut deepened. “Not much chance of that now. I might have saved my reputation with you and everyone else, but by doing so, I gave Amber doubts about my intentions.” He shook his head. “She thinks I’m a great guy who’s doing the right thing but doesn’t love her. Thinks I’m only staying because I feel obligated to. She doesn’t understand how much...”

  He stilled, a small spark of hope lighting within him.

  Landon frowned. “What?”

  “She doesn’t understand how much she’s worth to me.” Nate smiled, a renewed sense of purpose filling him. “I think it’s time to feed the Elk Valley gossip mill with another scene. Give Darlene something new to circulate.” He motioned toward the pitiful-looking pumpkins. “Feel like helping me toss these rotten things and start over? Help me get this proposal right and win my family back?”

  Landon smiled. “Hell, yeah.”

  * * *

  Amber dragged a comb through her hair, then smoothed a hand over her shirt. “Think this’ll do for a few hours of mingling at the Main Street block party?”

  She glanced in the full-length mirror, her strained smile dying at the sight of the empty blanket on the floor behind her. There were no mischievous grins, flushed chubby cheeks or irritable wails. Just silence and solitude. As there had been all Saturday morning and afternoon after spending her first night alone in the cabin without Savannah, Dylan and Mason.

  And that wasn’t the only thing that had bothered her. She eyed the bed behind her, the smooth undisturbed sheets covered by the blanket Nate had bought her and the undented pillow beside her own. All of which increased the feeling of empty sadness inside her.

  Despite cleaning the cabin from top to bottom, rearranging furniture and working on the third bedroom, Nate’s presence still lingered. She could see him plain as day when she’d sat alone by the fire last night in the living room. Could recall the exact look in his eyes when he’d held Savannah for the first time, his chin lifting with pride. She felt his presence on the front porch when she’d sat in the rocking chair by the stump McBride had saved, drinking coffee and watching the jack-o’-lanterns he and Landon had carved lose their shine.

  But the worst of all was when she walked down the hallway past the nursery. That was when she missed Nate the most. Missed watching him stroll from one side of the room to the other, rocking Dylan or Mason, speaking to them in low, soothing tones and cradling them tenderly in his strong arms. Missed the way his big hand had enveloped hers as they smiled down at all three babies while they slept. And she especially missed the heat in his eyes and sincerity in his tone when he’d said he loved her. When he’d asked for more than she was willing to give.

  Frowning, she moved to the dresser and put down the hairbrush. “Suck it up, Amber. You’re a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man.”

  And she didn’t.

  But Lord help her, she still wanted Nate. Still loved him. And the brief weeks of spending time together with him and the babies, of sharing the frustrations and joys of caring for their kids, had felt so much like family. Like more of a family than she’d ever felt she’d had. Richer. Stronger.

  She’d been so afraid to lose it all at the time. So scared Nate would walk away. Afraid to hand her heart over to a future full of circumstances she couldn’t control. But this...this wasn’t much better.

  McBride’s photo still sat in its place of pride on the dresser. The same smile, same expression. She drifted a finger over the picture, tears filling her eyes.

  “Please tell me what to do,” she whispered. “You always knew exactly what to say.”

  A knock sounded at the front door. She jumped, then released a short laugh as she looked at McBride, her heart skipping.

  “You work fast,” she said wryly, heading for the door.

  Maybe it was Nate bringing the babies back early. Her step quickened. She could casually invite him in, ask him to stay for a while and talk like they used to. There was no harm or obligation in that.

  She straightened the collar of her shirt, then opened the door, her smile faltering at the sight of Landon. “Oh. Hi.”

  He winced. “Still not excited to see me, huh?”

  Her shoulders slumped at the regretful look in his eyes. Ever since the Halloween party there’d been tension between them. Enough to keep him walking on eggshells around her, asking more often than not if it was okay that he come by to see his niece and nephews when, in the past, he’d always felt welcome.

  “No. I mean, it’s not that at all.” Amber smiled, lifted to her toes and hugged him tight. “I’m glad to see you.” She buried her face against his shoulder. “I’ve missed you this week.”

  His arms tightened around her. “I’ve missed you, too. Just thought I’d give you some space.” He released her and stepped back. “I wanted to apologize again for the other night.”

  Amber cringed. “Can we please not tal
k about it again? I just want to put it all behind us and move on.” She rolled her lips, hesitating for a moment. “How are things with you and Nate? Did you go see him?”

  Landon nodded. “Yeah. Things are fine. Though he told me in no uncertain terms that he was choosing you over me.” He eyed her closely. “Said he didn’t care if he lost me, so long as he had a chance at having you.”

  “H-he said that?”

  “Mmm-hmm.” Landon smiled slightly. “And I had no problem with that. Matter of fact, it was the best damned thing he’s said to me in a long time. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, Amber. Someone who would love you the way you deserved to be loved. I’m just sorry I went about it the wrong way.”

  She squeezed his arm. “No. I’m lucky to have you. Always have been. And I’m sorry I lied to you.”

  He rubbed his hands over his jeans, then jerked his thumb toward the driveway. “I was headed to the block party and thought I’d offer you a ride. Unless you were planning on riding in with Bobbie Jean?”

  “No. I’d love a ride, thank you.” She shrugged, managing a small smile as she gestured around at the empty room. “It’ll be nice to have company on the ride in seeing as how my load is pretty light today. Seems I’m on my own.”

  “But you don’t have to be,” Landon said. “Nate and the babies are already there. I know you’re scared, Amber. Me and you, we’ve lost a lot in our lives. But Nate really does love you, you know? If he’s really as great a man as we both think he is, isn’t he worth taking a chance on?” He looked at her pointedly for a moment, then headed for the door. “I’ll wait for you in the truck.”

  “Okay,” she said. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

  She watched him amble out to the truck and climb inside. Looked at the empty spot in the driveway where Nate parked his truck when he used to come by, then headed for her bedroom to grab her purse.

  Hesitating by the dresser, she stared at McBride, whose smile seemed wider than ever. “Is this your way of telling me how it is?” she asked. “Because I think it is.”

  If he’s really as great a man as we both think he is, isn’t he worth taking a chance on?

  “Landon’s right. I’ve been afraid to give Nate a chance because I’m too scared of the future.” She tugged open a dresser drawer, grabbed the extra key to the cabin, then smiled at McBride. “Okay. I’m going. So you can stop pushing.”

  A half hour later they arrived at the Main Street block party. The small section of mountain road was bustling with activity. White lights were strung between streetlights above the throng of people, shimmering down on a live band, apple-bobbing contests and a plethora of local business stands selling hot drinks and sweet and savory snacks. Kids squealed and played, adults laughed and couples danced. Elk Valley had officially welcomed November.

  “Hi, Amber!” Bobbie Jean walked over, carrying a set of red tickets and smiling. “So glad you’re here. They’re going to have a cakewalk soon and there’s a caramel pie I’m dying to get my hands on. Wanna come? We’ll have to hurry because I saw Mrs. Darlene eyeing it and I know she’ll try to snatch it out from under m—”

  “I would never.” Darlene walked up behind Bobbie Jean and narrowed her eyes. “I’ll have you know I make the best caramel pie in the state, Bobbie Jean. So there’s no need for me to haggle over other people’s.” Her lips twitched as she turned to Landon. “But there’s a red velvet I would be willing to tussle over.”

  Amber tensed, then summoned up a polite smile. “It’s good to see you, Mrs. Darlene.”

  Darlene looked at her for a minute, then said softly, “It’s good to see you, too, Amber. You know, I saved your prize from the costume contest and I could bring it by later, if you’d like.”

  Amber relaxed. “That’d be nice. Thank you.”

  Darlene shrugged sheepishly. “And I promise not to give you any advice or stick my nose where I shouldn’t. I’ll be a perfect, polite guest.” She grinned. “Bearing red velvet cake.” She lifted her elbow out toward Landon. “That is, if a certain strong, handsome young man wouldn’t mind escorting me and Bobbie Jean to the cakewalk?”

  Amber laughed. There was the good she knew was in Darlene.

  Landon smiled and looped his arm through Darlene’s and Bobbie Jean’s. “I’d be happy to.”

  “If it’s okay with you,” Amber said, turning to Landon, “I’m going to slip off and try to find Nate and the babies and say hello.”

  “Don’t think you’ll have to look very far.” He smiled, then pointed over her shoulder at the stage.

  The band wrapped up a set and the lead singer spoke into the mic. “We’re going to take a small break but before we do, we have a few special guests who’d like to say a few words.”

  A group of people at the back of the stage parted and Nate appeared, pushing a stroller toward the mic. He wore a nice dress shirt and jeans, his hair adorably disheveled as he smiled down at Savannah, Mason and Dylan. Savannah was dressed in a pink baby dress and wore a pink headband, and Mason and Dylan were dressed in matching baby tuxes. Audible awws and approving giggles rippled through the crowd as the babies babbled and picked at their fancy clothing.

  Amber laughed and moved closer for a better look. Nate glanced up, caught her eye and smiled.

  “Good evening,” he said, tapping the mic and grinning when it worked. “Hope I’m not putting anybody out tonight by interrupting the music. But there’s something important I need to say, and considering most of you were around for one of my lowest points, I’m hoping to share one of my highest tonight.”

  The crowd quieted and activities around the stage slowed.

  “You see, the woman I love is here and I want to make sure she hears me loud and clear. I figured this would be the best place to do it.”

  Amber stilled, her stomach flipping.

  “In case anyone hasn’t heard,” he continued, grinning wryly, “these are my and Amber’s children—Savannah, Mason and Dylan. I may not have known about them at first, but when I did, I was over the moon. These three great kids are the best thing Amber and I have ever done. I wasn’t here for Amber when she needed me most but I’m here now. And she asked me once, what the use was in now. I didn’t have the right words to answer her then but this time I do. So here it is.”

  Nate peered at her across the crowd, his green eyes warm and supportive. “We can’t change things in the past and there will always be things we can’t control waiting for us in the future—good and bad. So the way I see it, the most precious gift we have is now.” He reached down and smoothed his palm over Mason’s hair. “Those bright, beautiful moments in life that come along in small doses.” He glanced up, meeting her eyes again. “The tender hours you spend rocking someone you love to sleep at night because they’re afraid to face the morning.”

  She swallowed hard, chin trembling.

  “The moments you’re happy or sad,” he continued. “When you’re tired or excited. Fed up or over the moon. All of them. Because a collection of nows is what makes up our futures. Our forevers. The good times are what get us through the bad, and the strength we find in each other is what makes us brave enough to face our fears.” He smiled. “All those things I’ve always wanted but never been able to touch—acceptance, faith, forgiveness, love—I’m holding all of them when I’m holding Amber. She’s worth every breath in my lungs and every now I’ll ever own.”

  Amber’s heart swelled, flooding her with joy. She blinked hard and smiled.

  “The only problem is,” Nate said, “I’m part of a package deal. One that comes with a lot of love and a promise of forever. One I’m hoping she’ll accept.”

  A hush fell over the crowd and Savannah babbled, the mic picking up her playful sounds.

  A breathless laugh escaped Amber, tears tickling her cheeks. She held his gaze and nodded, then walked to the stage. Looking up at him, she tugged the spa
re cabin key from her pocket, then held it out to him. His warm hand closed over hers and he pulled her up, holding her close.

  “I love you, Amber,” he whispered.

  “I love you, too.” She lifted to her toes and kissed him.

  He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. Amber breathed him in, absorbed his warm strength as it enveloped her and savored the cheers of the crowd. She pulled back, smiled down at Savannah, Mason and Dylan, who grinned up at her, then looked out from the stage at Landon and Bobbie Jean, who cheered. Then she returned her attention to Nate, who looked happier than she’d ever seen him.

  It was an incredible moment. A fantastic now. A happy...everything.

  “How about we start our forever?” Nate asked, cupping her face and kissing her again softly.

  Amber smiled. “I’d love to.”

  * * *

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