Castle Murders

by John Dechancie

  “They should have known better, but that doesn’t make me feel any less awful about it.” Incarnadine drummed the desk top with his fingers. “So what does Tweel expect me to do, do you think?”

  “Hit back with all you have.”

  “What do you advise, Howie?”

  “Well, as your counselor I have to advise you that if you do retaliate, we’ll have a major war on our hands.”

  Incarnadine nodded. “That’s inevitable.”

  “We’ll lose a lotta people. And you can’t kill a demon.”

  “Who says?”

  Howland shrugged. “Unless this boils down to a shoot-out between the two of you.”

  “Is that what you think he has in mind?”

  “I think he’s setting something up like that. He knows you don’t want all-out gang warfare. He’s got you.”

  “So you figure he’s calling me out.”

  “That’s about the size of it, boss. Word has it that he holed up out in his place with extra guards ringed around it. He says he’s waiting for you to make your move. Oh, by the way, I saved the worst for last. He’s got Helen out there.”

  “She’s there willingly?”

  “I don’t know. Boss, you know he’s got her spelled somehow. I really think he loves her. Always has. Funny. He could have almost any woman he wants. But he carries a torch for the only one who ever jilted him. I know she loves you. Maybe that’s why.”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised. Anyway, so he says he’s waiting for me?”

  “Yeah, and he’s claiming that he’s the more powerful magician now. Says you’re all washed up in this town.” Howland pursed his lips and shook his head. “Boss, we sure could use some dengs on our side.”

  “You inevitably lose when you traffic in the Dark Arts.”

  “Pardon me, boss, but it seems like we’re the ones who’re losing at the moment.”

  “It only seems like it. But what are you advising? Cutting some sort of deal? Give up Hellgate?”

  “Cut our losses,” Howland said. “Get out with all the cash we can grab. We have areas of the city in which we’re a lot less vulnerable.”

  “For how long? Tweel doesn’t want any competition anywhere in the city.”

  “That’s true.”

  “So, how long do you think we can hold him off?”

  Howland shrugged. “I grant you there’s an inevitable time factor, but buying time isn’t all that bad an idea for now. Besides, boss, I don’t think we have any choice.”

  Incarnadine sat back. “Maybe not. Howie, you go ahead and open up negotiations with their counselor. Stall them. I’ll be at the Pelican Club inside of an hour.”

  “What are you going to do, boss?”

  “While you’re negotiating, I’m going to pay Tweel a visit out at The Tweeleries.”

  “Are you talking alone?”

  “That’s what I’m talking. He wants a showdown, he’s going to get one.”

  “You’ll never get near the place, boss. He’s got the boys out in force, extra dengs he’s conjured up, trip spells, all kinds of devices. And that place of his is like a fortress.”

  “The dengs are his trump suit. The rest is just dressing. And I can deal with demons pretty well. I happen to live inside of one.”

  “You oughta know, boss. I’ll be at the office if you need me.”

  “Good. Take care, Howie.”

  “Good luck, boss.”

  “Thanks.”

  Incarnadine hung up and the screen faded to black. He let out a breath and shook his head.

  “Tyrene will have to handle it,” he said. He got up and made for the door, but again was thwarted by the jangling telephone.

  “Things come in threes,” he murmured.

  The man on the screen had his back to the camera (of which there was none anyway, but no matter).

  Incarnadine picked up the earpiece.

  “Yes?”

  “Is this the castle?”

  “Yes.”

  “I was told to report.”

  “I see. Where are you?”

  “In the village. I don’t understand why I was summoned, or what I’m supposed to do.”

  “Ah. Well, I’m sorry, there’s no one here who can answer your questions at the moment.”

  The man sighed. “It’s always like this.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “It matters little. Shall I call again?”

  “It’s up to you. By the way, who shall I say phoned?”

  “Call me ‘K.’”

  “Uh, K., listen — again, my apologies, but we’re really up to our butts in alligators here.”

  “I understand. I’ll wait around here for a while, if you don’t mind.”

  “As I said, it’s up to you. Sorry to cut you off, but I have to run.”

  “Goodbye, then.”

  Shrugging, Incarnadine hung up.

  “Trials and tribulations,” he complained. “But that’s to be expected.”

  He ran for the door.

  Chapter Five

  Library

  “There sure are a lot of books here,” Melanie said.

  “You bet,” Linda said.

  The library was several stories high, spiral staircases communicating between levels. The second and third levels were galleries that looked out onto the main floor. The open stacks were on the ground floor, and they seemed endless. The place was as big as the biggest city or university library, if it wasn’t a lot bigger. For all that, the place abounded with inglenooks and carrels and other cozy places to curl up with a good book. There were certainly enough books; most of them, however, were hardly what could be called light reading: ponderous tomes bound in ancient leather, formidable and daunting.

  But not all.

  Osmirik sat at a table with a stack of paperbacks in front of him. He was examining them one by one and making notations on index cards. A small-boned man with dark hair, he wore a simple brown cloak and soft black shoes with pointed toes.

  Linda and Melanie came walking off the main floor and into the alcove where Osmirik was at work.

  “Hi, Ozzie!” Linda said.

  Osmirik looked up. “Ah. Lady Linda, how good of you to drop by.”

  “Just giving Melanie a tour of the library.”

  “Only too happy to have you.”

  “Melanie, meet Osmirik, the Librarian. Ozzie, this is Melanie.”

  Melanie smiled. “Nice to meet you, Osmirik.”

  Osmirik had stood, and now he bowed deeply. “The honor is mine, Mistress Melanie.”

  “What’re you doing, Ozzie?” Linda asked.

  “Cataloguing some new … acquisitions.”

  Linda looked. “Oh. More weird paperbacks, huh?”

  “Yes. Not castle books, however. For that, we might be grateful.”

  “What have we got? Let’s see. Boy, they all look interesting.”

  Osmirik said sardonically, “Interesting is an understatement. I was unfamiliar with this sort of literature until these books began showing up. They have greatly broadened my literary horizons.”

  Linda picked one up. “Foundation’s Robots?”

  “Deathless prose! Its use of allegory is on the order of pure genius.”

  She selected another and glanced at the cover. “What’s ‘cyberpunk’?” She tossed the book down. “Well, if you say so. Me, I never read this kind of stuff.”

  “I must confess that I, too, am at a loss as to what to make of them. But they have appeared here in the library. There must be some significance to that fact.”

  “Are you going to shelve them?”

  “Oh, yes. I have already instituted a paperback shelf. They will be catalogued and become part of the General Collection.”

  “Can anyone use the library?” Melanie asked.

  “All are welcome here,” Osmirik said.

  “If you can find anything good to read,” Linda said. “Most of this stuff — pardon me, Ozzie, but most of it’s pretty off-the-wall
.”

  Osmirik nodded. “I must agree. But all of it is quite interesting. And useful, as far as the Recondite Arts are concerned.”

  “He means magic,” Linda explained.

  “Oh.”

  “Yes, magic and other occult subjects are somewhat over-represented,” Osmirik said. “Given the nature of the castle, this is hardly surprising.”

  “Lord Incarnadine does a lot of research, doesn’t he?” Linda said.

  “Oh, yes. And some of the castle nobility, as well.”

  “Really? I rarely see any of those people in here.”

  “Most send call-slips, and the books are delivered, though some do come personally to search the card catalogue. The Earl of Belgard is a not infrequent visitor. And … oh, yes, Lord Arl was here just this morning.”

  “Don’t believe I know either of them,” Linda said. “Well, we’re going to mosey on down to the natatorium. Melanie, do you feel like a swim?”

  “Well, kind of. Sure, that might be nice.”

  Linda rubbed her neck. “This morning I woke up with stiffness right along here. Maybe a soak in the hot tub will work the kinks out. You’ll like the pool, it’s Olympic-size.”

  Melanie gave her head an unbelieving shake. “Just how big is this place?”

  “Uh, real big.”

  Osmirik asked, “How much have you seen of our castle, Melanie?”

  “Oh, the lab, the dining hall, the bedrooms, the kitchens, the ballroom —”

  “And a few of the permanent aspects,” Linda added.

  “Yeah, they’re something,” Melanie said. “Forests, mountains, deserts, every kind of place you could think of. Some of them are strange.”

  “There are a lot of strange aspects,” Linda agreed, nodding. “And wild aspects.”

  “What’re those?”

  “Ones that pop up out of nowhere. But we’re not in a wild area of the castle.”

  “Do people live in these worlds?”

  “Sure, some of them. There are a few that are deserted. Ruins and stuff. But some of them have people.”

  “And you say Earth is one of these worlds.”

  “Yup.”

  “How come more people don’t know about the castle?”

  Osmirik said, “You have hit on an interesting point, Melanie. The fact is that not all may pass through these portals.”

  “Really?”

  “That’s what we’ve come to understand,” Linda said. “The portal may be there, but not just anybody can come through to the castle. It may be that not everybody can sense the portal.”

  “You may consider yourself among the Elect,” Osmirik said with a smile.

  “I guess I should,” Melanie said. “Sometimes I think I’ve died and gone to a weird kind of heaven.”

  “Nah, you’re still alive. Come on, let’s whip up a bathing suit for you. Or would you rather skinny-dip?”

  “That sounds like fun.”

  Osmirik reddened slightly. “It was very nice of you to visit, ladies.”

  “Thanks, Ozzie. See you.”

  Osmirik watched them leave, then set back down. He picked up another gaudily covered paperback.

  “I Remember Rama,” he said, shaking his head. “Postmodernist, perhaps?”

  The water in the pool was warm. Melanie floated on her back and looked up at the immense skylight, a ceiling of glass held up by ribbed columns of stone. Sunlight streamed through it, and the bright blue sky beyond it was clear and pure.

  The irregularly shaped swimming pool, fed at its farther end by a waterfall, was surrounded by a lush botanical garden. The tops of tropical trees brushed the skylight. The water wasn’t chlorinated, and lily pads floated at one end of the pool. No Olympic facility was ever like this.

  Melanie swam to the edge of the pool and waded up a stone stairway. She and Linda were alone in using the natatorium, but Melanie had a feeling that no one would have given their nudity a second glance. Linda lay on her back on a chaise lounge, eyes closed. Melanie dragged another chaise close and stretched out on it. Lacing her hands behind her head, she watched the waterfall and let the sunlight warm and dry her.

  “I feel so good,” Melanie said.

  “I like it here, too. One of the few places in the castle where you can get some real sun. Besides the solarium. And one or two of the sitting rooms. Or six or seven.”

  “I never heard of a castle with a glass roof.”

  Linda opened her eyes. “You know, now that I think about it, that can’t be the roof. We’re in the castle keep, which is Lord knows how many stories high. But the natatorium is only six stories above the …” Linda frowned. “It doesn’t make sense. There should be about forty stories above us.”

  They looked up.

  “Doesn’t look like it, huh?” Linda said.

  “That’s the sky.”

  “Yeah. Well, it only goes to show you. Forget about anything making spatial sense inside the castle. It isn’t laid out in normal space — whatever that means. But Gene says so, and he’s real smart.”

  “I’m not going to try to figure it out,” Melanie said. “It’s all too wonderful. It might disappear if I analyze it too much.”

  “It might. I mean it all could just disappear. In the past it almost has.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “You’ll hear the stories in the dining hall. Jeremy still brags about how he saved the castle from the Hosts of Hell.”

  “The Hosts of Hell,” Melanie said with a shiver. “Whoever they are, they sound scary.”

  “They were. And the Blue Meanies. And the strange stuff that was going on when Gene and I first got here. I never did figure out what that was all about. A lot of it is fuzzy in my mind.”

  “Fuzzy?”

  “Yeah,” Linda said, rising to one elbow. “It all seems like a dream now. In fact, Incarnadine sometimes kids me that it was a dream. That it never really happened.”

  “What never really happened?”

  “Oh, it’s hard to explain.”

  “Can you try?”

  Linda chewed her lip.

  Melanie said, “If you don’t want to, you know, it’s okay.”

  Linda drew a breath and let it out. “No, I guess you should know just how crazy things can get around here. When I first got here, I was lost. Then I met Gene and Snowclaw, and we wandered for days. Then … something happened. But maybe it didn’t happen at all.”

  “But what didn’t happen?”

  “The castle — disappearing. And this huge dragon …” Linda seemed to look far away. “More than a dragon. Some horribly evil thing, huge, monstrous. It killed. Men died, screaming. It was horrible. And the dragon took off into the sky. Me, I’m back home, back on Earth, and it’s starting all over again, as if it never happened, and then the dragon comes back —” Linda’s stare turned inward, pensive.

  Melanie was watching her, puzzled and concerned.

  Linda grew aware of Melanie’s gaze. She smiled bleakly, then lay back down and sighed, shaking her head. “I’m not going to think about it. I’ve tried before and never got anywhere.”

  “Does it really bother you?”

  “No, not really. The castle is a dream. Anything can happen, and does. You just have to live with that.”

  “I can live with it,” Melanie said. “I can live with anything but facing the real world.”

  “Sometimes this world is all too real. Like I said, there’s a dark side. A dangerous side. It ain’t called Castle Perilous for nothing, honey.”

  “You don’t seem scared by it.”

  “Well, I’m not, now. At first I was. Very scared. Then I got my magic powers, and that scared the stuffing out of me. But after that I learned to use the powers and got good at it. They’ve saved my life on more than one occasion.”

  Melanie looked up at the sky again. How could there be any doubt that this world was real?

  But what about the “worlds” through the portals? During Linda’s guided tour Melanie had
been reminded of going through a museum of natural history, passing by one diorama after another. Linda hadn’t conducted her through any aspects, and Melanie wasn’t quite ready to accept one more strange reality, let alone 144,000 of them.

  They lay soaking up the sunlight. The long afternoon wore on. Everything was quiet except for the splashing of the waterfall. Scents of tropical flowers hung in the humid air.

  Melanie had almost dozed off when Linda shook her and dumped a towel in her lap.

  “We have time to see the armory, the gaming room, and a few other places before dinner,” Linda announced. “Or are you tired yet?”

  “No, just nodding,” Melanie told her. “There’s more to see?”

  “Much more, but I’m going to skip the rest of the tour bit. You’ll have plenty of time to explore on your own when you get your sea legs. Besides, I’ve got duties. There are a few more Earthies I might want to recruit. You could help with that.”

  “Sure, anything I can do,” Melanie said as she dried her long reddish-brown hair.

  “Good, but at this point you can’t do much but be there and reassure people that they’re not going bonkers.”

  “You know, I never thought that, not for one minute.”

  “Well, just in case.”

  They both dressed and left the natatorium, which was adjacent to the gymnasium. The latter was a huge chamber with squash courts, dumbbells, Indian clubs, a duckpin bowling alley, and other strenuous opportunities.

  Exiting the gym, they came out onto the landing of a great stairway that wound around a three-story-high court. They went down the stairs, talking and laughing. On reaching the second landing, they found a group of people standing there chatting, and one man turned and grinned amiably. Linda went to him, hugged him, and joined in the chatter. Melanie hung back and watched for a while, then went to the railing and looked out. Below was a fountain with a statue of a dragon spilling water from its mouth.

  She left the rail and went down the hallway a short distance without finding anything of interest. On her way back she found light pouring through a wide doorway that she was sure had not been there before. There was no door, just an oblong taken out of the wall. How could she have missed it? Maybe the door had slid open.