He kissed her softly. “I love you, too. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you earlier. Just the rest of this week, and then this project will be behind us and we can concentrate on your health.”
She hated to end their afterglow so soon, but it was time to tell Quinn the details. Quickly, she explained what Dr. Peterson said about the ultrasound and how the pathologist in Kona agreed to fit her in. “He has an opening tomorrow.”
Quinn pulled his head up from her shoulder to stare at her. “Tomorrow? No, that’s too soon. You have to reschedule.”
She sighed and looked away. It was what she’d feared all along—she wasn’t Quinn’s priority. “Can Sydney present the budget to your dad? From what Dr. Peterson said, the mass is rather large. I’m afraid it’s growing fast, and I really don’t want to wait another few weeks until this doctor has another opening.”
“Damn it.” Quinn rolled off her, lying flat on his back and staring at the ceiling. “You know how important this is to me. I can’t just drop everything and go to Kona the day before Project Green gets here.”
She wanted to snap at him, ask if the project was more important than her life, but she knew that was unfair. Regardless of how horrible it made her feel that he wasn’t even trying to find a way to come with her, she did understand. She’d worried about that from the moment the doctor told her when the appointment was. “But Sydney knows everything now, right? She can present it. I’m sure John will understand if you—”
“I’ve worked my ass off for this, Larissa. A few days really can’t make that big of a difference, can it? I’ll call that doctor’s office myself and get you in first thing Monday morning.”
Larissa blinked several times, trying to hold back her ready tears. She knew Quinn was right, but she’d been on an emotional rollercoaster ever since feeling the lump this morning.
“You don’t need to be here for the budget stuff,” she said, keeping her voice level even though her throat tightened with every word. “Sydney can go over it with John, John can meet the Project Green people Friday morning, and you’ll be back Friday afternoon and have the entire weekend with them. Please, Quinn, I need you with me.”
Quinn rolled out of the bed, throwing a robe on and then pacing back and forth across the room.
Larissa didn’t say anything, letting him think. At this point, it was up to Quinn to decide whether he was going to be there for the big stuff. Whether she meant enough to him to give up a little control and be the man she needed.
Finally, he stopped at the end of the bed, turning to face her. “Why can’t we wait until Monday?”
She sat up, pulling the sheet across her betraying chest. “Let me put it to you this way. What if you found a mass on your balls? Would you want to wait an extra five days to get tested because someone didn’t want to miss a freaking budget meeting?”
“It’s not just a budget meeting.” Red crept up his face and he put his hands on his hips. “It is the entire future of my family.”
She wanted to punch him. What right did he have to get mad? She was the one who could die, not him. Even if he canceled instead of letting Sydney go forward with the budget meeting, what really would happen? Project Green could be pushed back a year—the McCallisters were in no danger of starving, or even going through a lean time. They had so much money that Sydney ran a large charity fund and gave tons away, for crying in a bucket. Quinn didn’t have to choose this over her.
The tears she fought so hard against began falling, and she was helpless to stop them. She pulled the sheet over her head, knowing it was senseless to hide from Quinn, but not knowing what else to do.
He chose money over her. It wasn’t even the cancer itself that tore them apart like she’d feared because of what happened with Jacob. She just wasn’t important enough for him to even fight for.
“Larissa, don’t cry.” His tone didn’t sound consoling. He was pissed.
She threw the sheet back, wiping her eyes as she stood and walked to the dresser to open her one drawer. After grabbing some clothes, she headed for the bathroom, turning to him from inside it. “I’m going to sleep at my place tonight. You need your rest for the big presentation tomorrow.”
He crossed his arms, glaring at her. “Can’t you see this from my perspective? I’m only asking you to wait a few days. I can’t do it all. You’re asking for too much from me.”
“I know that. I’m sorry.”
He tilted his head to the side. “Then you’ll come to bed with me and stop this foolish talk about going to your place?”
She shook her head, the tears falling again. “I understand about you choosing the meeting over me, but I can’t stay with you tonight.”
His eyes narrowed. “Fine.”
“Fine,” she agreed, shutting the door.
She dressed in record time and then fought with the clasp on the diamond necklace. Once she finally released it, she held it in her hands for several moments, staring down at it. She wondered if she was making the right decision. While she knew she loved Quinn more than she would ever love another person, she also knew he would never be able to give himself to her fully.
If the lump was cancer—and she really believed it was—what did she have to look forward to? Treatments by herself? A boyfriend who could never stay with her because he had to stay on the island? It wasn’t even that he had to stay, he just didn’t want to accept any help from his family.
She wanted a partner who wanted to be with her. She didn’t want to be in a relationship where she became a burden to the other person.
That summed it up. If she stayed, she’d become Quinn’s burden.
Larissa set the necklace on the counter, laying it out nicely even though her heart was a hard knot in her chest, aching with more pain than she thought it was possible to endure.
When she walked out of the bathroom, Quinn was laying in the bed with his back turned toward her. He didn’t speak when she walked out the door.
Chapter 24
Quinn went over the last of the changes with Sydney, relieved that it added up. “Looks like I’m ready to show Dad.”
“Sure,” Sydney agreed. “Can I sit in with you? I did all the work, after all.”
“Not even a quarter of the work, but you certainly saved me.” Quinn stood, removing the memory stick from the computer to take it to John’s office. “Come on.”
Sydney grinned and stood up, giving a fist pump. “I knew you’d let me.”
As they started across the hallway, she grabbed his arm. “Wait. You never told me how things went with Larissa last night. Was she blown away by the date?”
Quinn avoided his sister’s eyes. He found the necklace right after Larissa left last night. Even though she didn’t say anything, he got the message loud and clear. They were over.
It hurt too much to think about. He had to get through this weekend before he could allow himself to feel anything.
“The date was fine,” he answered and knocked on John’s door.
“Come in,” he called.
Sydney smiled. “Show time, brother. Let’s see how you dazzle Dad with your good business sense.”
***
Larissa sat in the examination room at Dr. Akana’s office, waiting for the doctor to come in. The nurse said he was doing another procedure and it would be a few minutes.
She squeezed Janie’s hand, taking comfort in her friend’s presence. “I really appreciate you finding someone to cover your shift so you could come with me.”
“It’s supposed to rain today and tomorrow. Not like there’s much for a lifeguard to do anyway. I’m happy to be here. Besides, after the biopsy, I’m going to take you out to my favorite restaurant here. You’ll love the food.” Janie shook out her dark hair and smiled. “We might even find some buff Hawaiian guys who want to come back to our hotel room.”
Larissa forced a laugh. “Going the true love route isn’t working for me. Maybe a hook up is just what I need.”
“They always work
for me.”
“Wait a minute.” Larissa narrowed her eyes. “I thought you were with Brad.”
“You’re so naïve. Brad knows this isn’t a long-term thing. We’re just having fun. If I find a husky hottie here, I’m going to jump him.”
“So you don’t mind if Brad trips over some pretty heiress in the stables and tumbles her in the hay?”
“Nope. Not in the least.”
It seemed odd. Larissa had always believed the path to happiness was true love. Today, she questioned that wisdom. Janie’s way didn’t seem so bad. In the past, Larissa would have judged Janie a slut, mortified by her sexual appetites. Now, she felt a bit jealous that it was impossible for her to be as blasé about sex as Janie. At least her friend’s heart didn’t get broken all the time. Janie’s life seemed a lot more fun than Larissa’s right now.
Larissa tipped her head back, leaning it against the white-painted concrete wall behind her chair. “I don’t think I’m going to feel like jumping on the first available man right after a breast biopsy.”
“Yeah, I know that. Just trying to take your mind off it.”
“I appreciate that. At least Dr. Peterson said they were putting a rush on the initial results. Last time, I had to wait a long time to hear the diagnosis.” Larissa opened her eyes and shrugged slightly. “Good or bad, at least I’ll know tomorrow.”
***
Quinn finished his presentation and glanced at his dad.
John smiled widely. “I knew you could figure this out. Five years, maybe less before this starts paying off? I like those figures. I’m impressed, son. You’re doing a great job of thinking out of the box and finding ways to make McCallister’s Paradise even more of a success. Your grandfather would be proud.”
That was high praise, saying Grandpa would approve. Grandpa had started the resort fifty years ago, referring to it as his baby until the day he died. So why didn’t Quinn feel more of a sense of accomplishment? Before meeting Larissa, this would be the height of happiness. Now all he felt was sorrow at how much this victory might have cost him.
He had to talk to her as soon as her flight landed tomorrow. He’d make her understand why he had to stay here. She knew this was important to him. She couldn’t expect him to drop it on Sydney at the last minute. It wasn’t fair of her to ask that of him.
Yeah, and it’s not fair that she might have cancer again, whispered a traitorous voice in the back of his mind. And you’re letting her face it alone because you didn’t want to trust Syd. Even though you could have. You didn’t have to be here for this, just like Larissa said.
Quinn collapsed into the office chair and dropped his head into his hands. “Shit. I’m an idiot.”
“What’s wrong, son?” John asked. “Did you miss something on the numbers?”
Quinn shook his head, not moving his hands from his face. “Nope. Numbers are fine. I screwed up real life, that’s all.”
Sydney touched his elbow. “What are you talking about?”
“Larissa.”
“What do you mean?” she asked. “I thought you worked things out with her. You said the date was good.”
“It was,” Quinn said. “But after the date I chose work over her, and I think I’ve lost her for good.”
“We told you not to do that,” Sydney scolded. “What is wrong with you?”
“Maybe you better explain what happened,” John added.
Quinn finally looked up and faced them. “It doesn’t matter what happened. She needed me, and I didn’t step up for her. I blew it.”
John’s eyebrows drew together. “Then go fix it. I’ll call her in here right now and you can apologize.”
“That’s going to be difficult, Dad. I checked her room before coming to the office. She’s no longer on the island.”
***
Janie sat with Larissa in the recovery room, waiting until the nurse gave them the all clear to leave.
“I don’t know what’s taking so long,” Janie complained. “They didn’t even knock you out all the way. They can’t take five minutes to discharge you?”
“Already met a hottie you need to get to?” Larissa asked, frustrated at her friend’s impatience.
Janie shook her head. “Hospitals scare me, if you must know. The last time I was inside one was when my mom died.”
Larissa squeezed Janie’s hand, feeling like a jerk. “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have asked you to come along.”
“Oh, no. I’m not saying that.” Janie shrugged. “I want to be with you. Nothing could keep me away, but sitting here waiting is horrible. And I’m hungry. I get bitchy when I’m hungry.” She winked, obviously trying to make Larissa laugh.
In order to humor her, Larissa did laugh, but she didn’t find the situation at all funny. Janie, a friend, was willing to go some place that made her miss her mom worse and scared her, just to keep Larissa company, and Quinn couldn’t cancel one meeting? It put things in perspective.
A few minutes later, Janie got her wish as the nurse came into the room.
“Dr. Akana is working on the pathology report right away,” she said, handing a clipboard to Larissa. “Here are your discharge papers. Don’t shower tonight or do anything too strenuous. If you have discomfort from the biopsy site, you can take up to a thousand milligrams of Tylenol. No alcohol and take it easy for the rest of the evening. The doctor wants to see you back here tomorrow at three o’clock.”
Larissa signed the bottom of the paper stating she understood what the nurse said, and the woman left the room. Now all that was left was the worrying until tomorrow.
“Looks like no hot, sweaty sex for me tonight,” Larissa said as she stood up. “If you find someone, you’ll have to go back to their place.”
“Nah. You’re stuck with me. Let’s go check into the hotel and then grab some food. Maybe we can catch a movie or something. That’s nice and relaxing.”
Larissa knew Janie was doing what she could to keep her mind busy so Larissa wouldn’t worry. It wouldn’t work, but it was nice of her to try.
As they exited the building, she pulled her phone from her purse and turned it on. It beeped to alert her that she had missed calls and voice mail awaited her. She checked the caller ID.
“Uh oh.”
“What?” Janie asked, leading the way to their rental car and pulling the keys from her pocket.
“I have five missed calls from John McCallister,” Larissa answered. “I wonder what Quinn told him.”
“He would talk to his dad about your lump? That’s shitty.”
“It might not be that.”
After all, Quinn was more concerned about his precious Project Green than he was about Larissa’s doctor appointment. Only one way to find out. She accessed her voice mail and typed in the password, listening to the single message the elder McCallister left.
“Larissa, this is John McCallister. Call me as soon as you get this.”
Not very helpful. She dialed his number while holding her breath, wondering if she was about to lose her job for breaking up with Quinn. That would be disaster. She needed the insurance now more than ever.
“John McCallister,” he said, answering on the second ring.
“It’s Larissa Benner,” she answered. “You tried to call me?”
“I wanted to check on you. Quinn said you were off the island, but wouldn’t tell me why. Is everything okay?”
Hmmmm... not quite what she expected. “I’m not sure. I won’t know until tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? You said something about really needing health benefits when I first hired you. Has something happened with that?”
If Quinn really didn’t tell him, then John was good at what he did for a living. It was his job to read people and know what they needed, so Larissa wasn’t entirely surprised that he guessed. “If things are as bad as I fear they could be, I’m going to need to take a leave of absence from work,” she said instead of answering him directly. “I hope we can work something out so I can keep my j
ob.”
“Don’t worry about that,” John said, easing her anxiety somewhat. “There’s paperwork for that, and you always have a place in the McCallister family.”
Larissa held in her sigh. Maybe the family of workers, but not with his son. “Thank you, sir. I appreciate that. I’ll tell you everything when I get back tomorrow, okay?”
“Take care of yourself, Larissa. We’re all waiting for you back here.”
Larissa hung up, trying to figure out what John was telling her. Did he mean that Quinn was sorry or was it just a pleasantry people said when others faced tragedy? Either way, it didn’t matter. Regardless of what John might think, they weren’t all waiting for her. If she really mattered to Quinn, he would have called himself.
Chapter 25
Quinn pointed out the guest cottages to Kathy, the assessor from Project Green. “These are the only things I’m not sure about using solar panels for. They’re private units, and I don’t know if it will be as useful as the hotels or the employee housing having them installed.”
Kathy tossed her thick red hair over her shoulder and smiled at Quinn in a way that felt more flirty than professional. “I’m sure I can find a plan that will fulfill all your fantasies and expectations. How about you show me your room? I bet I can make improvements there too.”
Quinn narrowed his eyes. He’d dealt with Kathy for months now, talking to her on the phone most days and hashing out the details before her arrival. He never realized she’d been flirting with him—he just thought she was overly friendly. However, it was hard to ignore after the tour this morning.
“Kathy, I’m not sure if we’ve had a miscommunication or something, but I have a girlfriend.” Guilt stabbed at Quinn. He hoped he had a girlfriend. He wouldn’t know for sure until the plane landed this evening and he could talk to Larissa. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to call her. If she broke up with him over the phone, he wouldn’t be able to do anything to convince her to reconsider.
Beside him, Kathy went silent as the flirt drained right out of her.
Spring Into Love Page 18
