Commitment

by K. M. Golland

  I held out my hand and closed my eyes briefly. ‘Hang on a minute. Are you telling me that when you deliberately piss him off, he wants to fuck you?’

  ‘Uh-huh.’

  I didn’t buy it. Then again, Bryce always wanted to fuck Alexis, so maybe it wasn’t as farfetched as I thought. ‘If I deliberately piss Dean off, that’s all I do … piss Dean off. End of story.’

  ‘How’s things going with you two, by the way?’

  I turned my back to her and shrugged while hanging her dress on the rail. ‘Normal shit. He works. I work. He’s the dad. I’m the mum. He makes a mess. I clean the mess. He wants the same ol’ boring sex. I endure the same ol’ boring sex.’

  ‘And where does Dale fit into this?’

  ‘He doesn’t.’ I didn’t turn around, instead trailing my fingers over the endless row of dresses hanging before me.

  ‘I think he does … somewhere. And if you could talk to anyone about it, it’s me. You know that, right?’

  I sighed. She was right, but I wasn’t ready to entertain anything concerning Dale until I knew for myself where he fit in.

  ‘But …’ she continued, shuffling behind me, ‘… I won’t push you to tell me. I’m here and I’m ready to listen, comfort, distract and offer advice when you need it.’ Alexis wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head upon my shoulder. ‘You’re wearing the Balenciaga, and we’re going downstairs to find a pair of heels to fit those flippers you call feet. No arguments.’

  She released me from her hug, and I turned slightly, glancing over my shoulder to watch her pick up Brayden and walk out of her walk-in closet, which more or less resembled a small condo. No arguments? Ha! I always argued with her, and somehow we both ended up winning. I wasn’t sure how, but we did. It was our dynamic and what made our friendship one of a kind. This time, though, I wasn’t going to argue. I was going to wear the dress and go shoe shopping with her, because I needed it. I needed a little pampering in my life. I needed to feel special and worth more than just the food I cooked and the clothes I washed.

  I needed a little glamour and excitement.

  * * *

  ‘Are you ready?’ Alexis whispered, her eyes gleaming, her smile broad.

  I sucked in a breath. ‘As ready as I’ll ever be.’

  Truth be told, I was metaphorically shitting myself. I’d been at the mercy of Jane and Carl — Alexis’s hair and makeup stylists — for the past three hours. My face had been brushed, smudged, blended and baked, my hair plucked and shaped. I’d mimicked a fish and a duck, and sported a mane to rival any lion. I’d been transformed, and from what I was told — and by the look of ridiculous elation on my best friend’s face — my transformation was for the better.

  Oh, and I’d also had my hair cut … a lot.

  ‘Okay, here goes!’

  ‘WAIT!’ I yelled, planting my feet to prevent my chair spinning to face the mirror. ‘I can’t. Shit! I really can’t.’

  ‘Of course you can. You look amazing. Trust me, I’d tell you otherwise.’

  ‘I know that. But I … I haven’t had short hair since I was a teenager. I’m scared, Lexi. And oh my gawd … what is Dean gonna say?’ A blanket of prickles settled over my skin, and all of a sudden I felt sick.

  Alexis whacked my arm. ‘Stop it. He’ll love it. You look hot.’

  My eyes pleaded with hers, pleaded for her words to be nothing but true. ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes, really.’ Her ridiculous grin returned, bigger than before, and she nodded repeatedly.

  ‘Shit! Okay, spin me around. Do it before I flee faster than Cinderella.’

  Alexis didn’t hesitate and turned my chair.

  I gasped. ‘Whoa!’

  ‘Yeah, whoa.’

  My long, dark brown locks were gone, replaced with chin-length caramel and auburn wisps that framed my face. My eyes were sultry, highlighted by smoky eyeshadow and full black lashes, and my lips were subtly glossed to match the rose of my cheeks.

  ‘I look amazing!’ I whispered in awe. ‘Jane, Carl, you’re both freaks.’

  They laughed, as did Lexi.

  ‘Yes, we are freaks of the best kind, darling,’ Carl replied. ‘And proud of it.’ He winked. ‘Now, if you’re happy with your new look, we’ll head off and leave you to it.’

  ‘Oh I am. Thank you so much.’

  Carl and Jane began packing up their supplies while I sat and admired my hot-as-fuck reflection. Holy crap! Is that really me? I hadn’t looked this glamorous and made-up since my wedding day, and even then my makeup had melted off not long after it had been applied.

  ‘Told you,’ Lexi sang, appearing over my shoulder, her reflection in the mirror wearing an air of arrogance.

  ‘Yeah, but do you think Dean will like it? I’m not sure. He loves my hair long.’ I moved a few strands away from my eyes.

  ‘How could he not like it? It’s gorgeous. You’re gorgeous. And anyway, it doesn’t matter what he thinks. It only matters what you think.’

  ‘It does matter what he thinks. He has to look at me day in and day out.’

  ‘Well, fuck me and pull out the tissues, because if he has to look at that,’ she said, pointing to my reflection and swirling her hand, ‘I’d cry me a fucking river too.’

  I couldn’t help but smile at her sarcasm. She was the best type of bitch: the honest type. The no-shit type that slapped you into place then smoothed you over with a little love.

  ‘You’re right,’ I sighed.

  ‘I’m always right.’ She walked over to the bed and unpacked the Rockstud Valentino nude pumps she’d bought me against my wishes and balanced them atop her open palms. ‘And for the pièce de résistance,’ she said in a terrible French accent, waggling her eyebrows.

  I narrowed my eyes. ‘I hate you for buying them.’

  ‘And I’m okay with that.’

  Alexis smiled sweetly and passed them to me before disappearing into her walk-in closet, soon returning with a pair of strappy champagne-coloured Jimmy Choo sandals to match the ethereal, pale pink, off-the-shoulder gown she was floating around in.

  She looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful.

  ‘Do you ever get tired of all this?’ I asked, referring to the glamorous life she now led.

  ‘What? Tired of dressing up like a princess and schmoozing with the world’s elite?’

  I scoffed. ‘Yeah. That.’

  She looped her ankle strap. ‘Of course. All the time. But I endure it, you know?’

  ‘I’m serious.’ I placed my shoes on the ground by my feet and slipped them on, proceeding to do them up as well.

  ‘Okay, okay. It has its good points and its bad, like all things in life. But I’ve learned to adjust and find balance because, to me, that’s the most important thing.’

  I nodded but didn’t say anything, so she continued.

  ‘For years I travelled through life, hell bent on pleasing everyone around me. I sacrificed, tolerated, forged ahead and bore whatever was tossed my way. And I did it with a smile that I thought was genuine.’ She paused for a split second then looked at me. ‘But it wasn’t genuine, because you can’t project true happiness if it’s not what you’re experiencing. You can’t fake something so pure. You can try, but it’s just a big fat waste of time.’ Alexis stood up, smoothed her gown over her legs and assessed herself in the mirror. ‘I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, with or without the glamour and excessive bank balance, because as stupid as it sounds, those two things are just decorations on my family tree of love.’

  I smiled at her stupid cuteness. ‘Your family tree of love?’

  ‘Yep. Bryce, Nate, Charli, Brayden, you, Mum and Dad … everyone I love. You’re all branches and I’m the trunk.’

  ‘You sure you don’t mean you’re drunk?’

  She stepped up to me and placed her hands on my shoulders, her eyes searching mine. ‘How’s your family tree of love? Is it healthy? Happy? Is it growing new branches or in need of a prune?’

  Sh
e didn’t wait for my response, instead heading towards the door, and that’s when I realised that she didn’t need my answer. I needed it. I just didn’t know what it was … yet.

  * * *

  The intermittent crackle of Allison’s voice through the headpiece I was wearing hurt my ears. The stupid thing was playing up and it had been driving me crazy ever since we’d started welcoming guests.

  ‘Tash, can you hear me? Serena is the last of the players to arrive. She’s headed towards the atrium now.’

  ‘Okay. I think I got all of that,’ I responded. ‘If you can hear me, my headpiece still isn’t working properly. I might need a new one. Is Dale in the arrival area with you?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Crackle. ‘He is.’

  ‘Good. Can you please tell him that I need him to take a look at my headset when he’s got a second?’

  ‘Will.’ Crackle. ‘Do.’ Crackle. ‘Where are you?’

  ‘Bottom of the staircase, directing people traffic.’

  ‘I’m gonna get you … that … whistle … one day, you kn—’ Her voice cut off, and this time I think my headpiece really did die on me.

  ‘Shit!’ I murmured, straightening and offering Lleyton and Bec Hewitt a smile as they approached. ‘Just head up the stairs. And please watch your step.’

  I waved my hand, directing them accordingly. Bec was pregnant, again, and I didn’t want her tripping over her stunning gown on my watch. Holy stretched cervix! How many mini Hewitts do they have now? Three … four … five?

  I shuddered at the thought. Two was definitely enough for me. And speaking of my two, I knew they’d be at home watching the televised red carpet arrivals, looking for a glimpse of their mother. They always did when we hosted a prestigious event. They loved it. It was their silly little claim to fame.

  ‘Excuse me, I’m looking for a hot brunette who likes purple.’

  I turned in the direction of the familiar voice to find Dale in a tuxedo with his hair gelled back, an air of 007 about him — suave but potentially dangerous.

  The man required a warning label.

  My mouth opened to protest but was silenced when he uttered, ‘Fuck me’ and then scrubbed his hand over his mouth while devouring my entire body with his hungry eyes.

  ‘Your hair, Tashy. That dress. You look … incredible.’

  Warmth flamed my cheeks and I wanted to look away. The sincerity streaming from his fixated eyes was undeniable and it made me feel a little insecure, but at the same time, on top of the world.

  It made me feel special, something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

  ‘Thanks,’ I said, sheepishly tucking my hair behind my ear. ‘You don’t look so shabby yourself.’

  He didn’t divert his eyes as they took me in, and it was as if he were mentally undressing me, right there, in the middle of the atrium.

  The memory of his lips on my neck and his hand inside my blouse flashed across my mind, and my legs all but buckled beneath me. He’s so hot. It’s so hot. I’m so hot. The temperature in the room escalated, or more than likely the temperature of my scalding body escalated, and I suddenly needed the reprieve of cool air, or a seat, or a cold fucking shower.

  ‘I need head,’ I blurted, flapping my hand in front of my face. ‘I mean headpiece. I mean I need a new headpiece. Mine is broken.’ I tried ripping it from my head, but it got stuck behind my earrings. ‘Ffffff … Ow!’

  Dale laughed. ‘Hang on a second. Stop pulling. You’re making it worse.’ He took a step closer and placed his hand on my back, pressing me into him and guiding my head to rest upon his shoulder. ‘Stay still.’ Sure, fine by me. I’m almost positive I can’t move anyway.

  His body was warm, soft, hard and fragrant. And did I mention warm? I curled into him as if he were a plush blanket, his fingers gently combing my hair and loosening strands tangled around my headpiece until it fell clear. ‘There you go. You’re ready for new head.’

  I bit back a laugh and waited a moment before stepping away from him. ‘Thanks. But maybe all I need is the head I already have to be fixed?’

  ‘Perhaps. But that could take a while. Let me give you new head in the meantime. See what you think?’

  I had no idea what head we were talking about, because the one on my shoulders was figuratively spinning out of control. He was either offering to go down on me, or simply suggesting a new communicative device to replace my broken one. Both options were feasible, given his recent change of character.

  ‘I … er … um …’ I stuttered, pressing my fingers into my temple and scrunching my eyes shut.

  ‘Tash!’

  Quickly snapping my eyes open again and pivoting in the direction of where my name had been called out, I spotted Dylan making his way down the stairs towards me.

  ‘What’s up?’ I asked, thanking my lucky stars for the timely interruption.

  ‘Your headset is not responding and we need you in the ballroom. The MC’s notes are password protected and he can’t get them up on his prompt screen.’

  ‘Right. Yes.’ I spun back to face Dale. ‘I have to go, but could you please get me another headpiece as soon as possible? I really need it.’

  He nodded, amusement crinkling his eyes. Goddamn it! Donuts. DoughNuts. Nuts of dough that distract me in the best possible way.

  ‘Thanks,’ I mumbled, climbing the next step only to stop when his hand gently clasped mine.

  I turned to face him once more but was stopped by the brushing of his body against mine and the hypnotic scent of his aftershave. ‘You want a new headpiece? I’ll get it for you.’ He subtly nuzzled my hair, breathing me in. ‘And if you want new head, I’ll give that to you, too. I’ll give you anything you want. All you need to do is ask.’

  His fingers released mine and then he was gone … as were any clear and rational thoughts I possessed.

  CHAPTER

  13

  TASH

  Dale made good on his first promise, providing me with a new headset not too long after we’d parted ways. He was a man of his word, which was admirable, yet it was also concerning considering he’d spoken words that were forbidden and delicious if they were to come to fruition.

  Thankfully, the rest of the night had gone on without a hitch. Australian Open tennis players and their partners, together with tournament officials and sponsors, had enjoyed the celebratory wrap-up of the annual event. I was so pleased and proud of myself and my team for successfully ensuring a trouble-free evening and for once again showing the world why City Towers was such a revered hospitality and entertainment establishments.

  In a nutshell, I was buzzed and riding a triumphant wave. I looked good. I felt good. Everything was good …

  … until it wasn’t.

  Pressing my phone to my ear and blocking my other ear with my finger, I answered Dean’s call while smiling at guests as they made their way out of the ballroom at the conclusion of the event. ‘Hey, what’s up?’

  ‘How’d it go?’

  ‘Fine, but it’s not over yet so I can’t be long.’

  ‘No, that’s good. The boys haven’t seen you on the TV yet. They’re really disappointed. Are they still filming there? Can you manage a background cameo before they wrap up?’

  I scrunched my face and looked over the sea of people gathered in the atrium, spying the television crew interviewing guests as they said goodnight and left the venue. I also spied Bryce and Alexis there too. ‘Maybe. Leave it with me. I can’t make any promises though.’

  ‘Okay. Go get ’em—’ I heard him say as I disconnected the call, unintentionally hanging up on him. I just didn’t have time for small talk if I were to inconspicuously photobomb the national broadcast.

  Making my way across the room, I stopped a mere metre from Alexis, who was being interviewed about her outfit, and turned my back to the camera just slightly, raising my hand to my ear and pretending to listen to something important through my headset. I was also in the line of filming when Dale stopped next to me and leaned in, asking
why I was posing as a member of his security staff — the hottest member of his staff.

  ‘I’m trying to get on camera for my kids,’ I explained through gritted teeth while maintaining my semi-back-turned position.

  He glanced over my shoulder in the direction of the film crew. ‘I see. Maybe we should put on a show, though. Your performance is a little boring.’

  The pit of my stomach dropped together with both of my hands. A ‘performance’ was the absolute last thing I wanted to be a part of. ‘You wouldn’t dare,’ I hissed, slowly inching out of the film frame.

  He chuckled. ‘Try me.’

  Try me? I’m not trying anything.

  Dale’s expression had turned impassive, not one feature giving his intent away. I was screwed. The thought of making a dash for cover crossed my mind, but that, in itself, would draw attention. There was also the option of calling his bluff, but something told me he wasn’t the bluffing type. So I was basically left with three choices: one, enter into a performance with him, whatever the hell that meant; two, shock him by saying something he wouldn’t expect and then slip away while he processed it; or three, pray to God the broadcast ended … this very second.

  Crossing my fingers for choice number three, I pricked my ears like the proverbial rabbit and caught wind of the interviewer still embroiled in questions regarding Alexis’s attire. For fuck’s sake, hurry up already. She’s wearing a pretty pink dress and a pair of hot shoes. Go home already.

  ‘You’re cute as hell when deliberating fight or flight, Tashy.’

  I glared at him. ‘That’s not what I’m doing.’

  ‘Yeah, it is.’

  The smug bastard placed his hands in his trouser pockets and rolled back and forth on his heels. I both hated and loved when he did that, but more than anything, I wanted to push him over. Now that would be a performance.

  Unfortunately, choice number two was looking more and more like my only option, so I closed my eyes for the briefest of seconds then opened them with a renewed sense of confidence, ready to shock him into submission to facilitate my escape. ‘Sooo … I’ve been thinking,’ I teased, tapping my index finger on my lip before gently biting it. ‘Does your offer still stand?’