Dangerous Master

by Tawny Taylor

  All week long, while she’d run around in circles, chasing Clark and Nickerson around town, she’d wondered if that unbelievable experience she’d shared with Zane would change their relationship, stabilize it, add a new, deeper intimacy. God, she hoped so.

  She was about to find out.

  “Are you okay?” Sarah asked, keying into Mandy’s jittery nerves.

  “I’m fine. Nervous.”

  “Honey, if he doesn’t fall to his knees and tell you he loves you, he doesn’t deserve you.”

  Mandy didn’t respond. Sarah could be right. He might love her. But she would probably never hear him say the words. They’d agreed there would be no expectations, no commitment. They would be friends. Lovers. But never monogamous partners. Never husband and wife.

  “He’s obviously crazy about you. He’s never done anything even remotely close to what he did for you last weekend. He loves you, even if he isn’t able to say the words. Trust me.”

  Mandy wanted to trust Sarah.

  “They said he’s in here, in his suite.” Sarah motioned toward the closed door. “Go ahead.”

  Mandy didn’t reach for the knob. “But the door’s shut. It’s usually open.”

  “I’m sure it’s no big deal. Especially with you. I’ve been to every party the man has hosted this year. He has always had an open-door policy, with the understanding that if you go inside, you’ll be expected to join in the scene.”

  Mandy reached but before she touched the knob, she pulled her hand back. “I don’t know.”

  “You’ve scened with him before. You know he doesn’t get intimate with his submissives... .”

  Except for her.

  Maybe there are others, too. What if I’m not the only one he fucks?

  Sarah pointed at Mandy’s nose. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re wrong. He loves you. He’s never been the kind of dom to fuck his submissives. Why would he start now?”

  Good question.

  Sarah gave Mandy a little nudge.

  “Okay.” This time Mandy’s hand made contact with the gold-toned doorknob. She grasped it.

  “Have fun.” Sarah gave her another nudge. “You’ll thank me later.”

  Mandy turned the knob and pushed. She stepped into the room as the door swung wider. Her gaze locked onto Zane’s tall figure. He was standing. Dressed head to toe in black, as usual. His back was facing the door. He didn’t turn around right away.

  His hips. He was moving. Was he ... ?

  His head fell back.

  Mandy stood frozen in place, unable to move.

  Behind her, she heard Sarah mutter, “Oh, shit.”

  Her breath caught in her throat.

  Zane’s movements became jerky, uneven, as he drew nearer to completion.

  Mandy clapped a hand over her mouth. She wanted to turn around, walk out, save her dignity. Why the fuck couldn’t she move?

  “Yes, harder. Please harder,” a man said. The partner hidden from Mandy’s view.

  So that was why he couldn’t make a commitment to her.

  Zane was fucking another man.

  A man. Mandy didn’t know if that made it easier or harder for her. Neither, probably. He was still fucking somebody else.

  “That’s how you like it. Rough. Hard,” Zane said, his voice raw, breathy. “You can’t ever get it hard enough.”

  “Yessss,” the man said.

  “Mandy, come on,” Sarah whispered.

  Mandy felt a tug at her arm. She didn’t move.

  Who was he fucking? Did they know each other well?

  Why did she care?

  “Mandy, honey. Let’s go,” Sarah urged.

  Mandy jerked her arm out of Sarah’s grasp. She dragged the back of her hand across her face. It was wet. Tears. She was crying. She sniffed.

  Still, Zane didn’t stop. He kept on fucking. His narrow hips ramming back and forth. Although Mandy couldn’t see anything, she could imagine a man bent at the waist, Zane’s cock pistoning in and out. Zane’s beautiful face darkened, his eyes glimmering with sexual hunger.

  And she’d been stupid enough to think he only looked at her that way.

  “Mandy,” Sarah said, louder.

  The sounds of male moans and groans of pleasure were building. They were both close to release now. Zane would hold off; he would wait for his lover to come first. Mandy knew it.

  “You don’t need to watch any more of this,” Sarah hissed. “Come on.”

  Mandy was finally able to turn away, but as she walked through the doorway, she couldn’t help glancing over her shoulder.

  Sarah jerked harder on her arm.

  “I’m coming already. You don’t have to be so rough.”

  “Sorry.” Sarah stopped when they reached the end of the hallway at the top of the stairs. She glared back in the general direction of Zane’s suite. “I’m just so ... angry. For you. Not at you.”

  “Don’t be. He told me he couldn’t make any kind of commitment.”

  “But—”

  “Zane has always made it clear I shouldn’t expect monogamy ...”

  “But—”

  “I told him I was okay with it. I shouldn’t have let myself get carried away, believing the fantasy. I’m such a fool.”

  “You’re crying.” Sarah wiped at Mandy’s wet cheeks. She was doing a lot of blinking, too. And her eyes weren’t exactly bone-dry.

  “I’ll be okay. I’m a big girl.”

  “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have suggested he had feelings for you. I led you to believe things were more serious than they were.”

  “I’m not upset with you. Not at all.”

  The muffled sound of men’s cries of release echoed down the hall. Both Mandy and Sarah followed the sound of the voices with their eyes. Then they looked at each other.

  Mandy’s eyes were burning again.

  “Let’s get out of here.”

  Mandy nodded. She wasn’t in a party mood anymore. She was in the mood to get into some comfy sweats and snarf down a half gallon of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream.

  They clacked down the stone stairs. Mandy tried to hold her head high. Sarah was in front of her. Mandy couldn’t help noticing how stiffly she was walking.

  Now, that was a good friend.

  At the bottom of the staircase, a familiar man strolled up to Sarah. Eric. Sarah’s bisexual ex-boyfriend. He caught her elbow, cradling it in his palm. Sarah gave Mandy a guilty look. “There you are. I’ve been looking for you. Waiting for you. I need to talk.”

  “Shit, Eric,” Sarah grumbled. “Now?”

  “Please.”

  Mandy waved her off. “Go ahead.”

  “I’ll only be a minute. I swear to God.”

  Mandy stepped to the side to wait. She spent the time trying to hide behind a huge indoor tree, while running her index fingers under her lashes, hoping to wipe away what had to be terrible raccoon eyes.

  Eric pulled Sarah toward a quiet corner where they chatted intimately.

  “Amanda.”

  Oh, shit, Zane.

  With a great deal of reluctance, she turned to face him. She saw the surprise in his eyes as their gazes met.

  “Did you just arrive?” He extended his arms to hug her.

  She struggled with how to respond. Let him hold her and make things even more painful? Or let him know she was upset? If he knew she was upset, he would probably reiterate what he’d said before, and then she’d probably feel even worse.

  She leaned into him and closed her eyes. Sadly, the image of him fucking that man was burned into her memory and it played the instant her eyelids fell closed. She squeezed them harder, trying to trap the tears that were burning to be released.

  Quit being such a crybaby. You’ve always known what kind of man Zane is.

  One of his hands cupped the back of her head. His slow, steady heartbeat thumped in her ear as she flattened it against his chest. She inhaled, drawing in the scent of him, his cologne and the slightest hint of sex.
/>
  “Is something wrong?” he asked.

  A man strolled up to Zane before Mandy could answer. “Heya, Zane.” The man’s gaze slid to Mandy. “Thanks for the invite.”

  “Not a problem.” Zane cupped Mandy’s elbow in his palm and steered her toward the stairs.

  Mandy’s gaze snapped to Sarah.

  Sarah was still talking to Eric, head bent, expression serious. Whatever they were discussing, it was something intense. Mandy didn’t want to interrupt to let her know Zane was escorting her up the stairs. Mandy didn’t necessarily want to go upstairs with him either. But when another guest bounced up to him, a female this time, wearing a dress that looked like blue shrink wrap, Mandy knew she wasn’t going to be able to hold a private conversation with Zane out in the foyer. Better to take it somewhere quiet.

  Up the stairs they went and into Zane’s suite. Zane shut the door, then turned to face her, arms crossed over his chest. “You were crying.”

  Lie? Or tell the truth?

  “I was. But I’m okay now.”

  Something flickered in his eyes. “Why?”

  Lie? Or tell the truth?

  She opened her mouth. Nothing came out.

  Dammit.

  She tried again. “Zane...” That’s all she could manage to force out. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

  “What is it?” He came to her, slid a flattened hand against the side of her head. The touch made it ten times worse.

  She backed away. “I think I need to take a break.”

  “From ... ? Me?”

  She nodded.

  “Why?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, mirroring him. “I have to be honest with you. I’m starting to have feelings for you. It’s making it hard for me to—”

  Realization spread over his face. “It was you, wasn’t it? You came up here earlier.”

  Mandy’s eyes were practically on fire. Her nose, too. She nodded.

  “Shit,” he said.

  “You don’t have to explain. You’ve made it clear from the start that you weren’t offering a committed, monogamous relationship of any sort.” Her damn eyes were leaking. Her nose too. She sniffled and dragged her hand under her eyelashes. “Dammit.”

  He pulled her into an embrace. “I’m sorry, Amanda. I never wanted to hurt you.”

  “I know.” She relaxed against him. Her arms slid around his waist. It was so unfair. She felt warm and safe here, with this man, in his arms. If only he could give her more.

  If only he could love her.

  That isn’t fair. You knew who he was. You can’t expect him to change just so you can be happy.

  You fucked up this time, asshole.

  Zane was so frustrated and lost, he didn’t know what to say. He ached to comfort Amanda. She had trusted him. She had let herself be vulnerable. Wasn’t that what he’d expected?

  But the consequences ... the fucking consequences.

  He’d been vaguely aware that someone had come into the room when he’d been fucking Bruce. But he’d been concentrating so hard on what Bruce needed, that he hadn’t let himself become distracted.

  You should’ve known it was her.

  To be fair, Amanda had told him she wouldn’t be arriving until later. When Bruce had come to him, pleading with him to feed, he’d figured he’d have plenty of time to do what he had to before she’d arrive.

  How could he explain so she’d understand—without having to tell her everything?

  “I’m being such a baby about this,” she mumbled into his chest.

  “Amanda.”

  She didn’t look at him.

  He hooked his finger under her chin and forced her to raise her head. He waited until her gaze had finally found his before he continued. Dammit, her eyes were so red, so full of pain. “What I have with Bruce is nothing like what we have together.”

  “You don’t have to say that.”

  “Of course I do. It’s the truth. And I want you to know it. To believe it.”

  “O-okay.” She sounded so small and meek, nothing like the headstrong bulldog he knew she was. He’d done that to her, crushed her.

  You bastard.

  Someone knocked on the door.

  Of all the fucking times...

  Amanda turned from him. “I should go.”

  He caught her elbow. “Wait.”

  The door swung open. Of course it was Bruce. Who else would it be?

  Fuck.

  “Zane, I need to speak with you,” he said.

  Amanda left without saying another word. Zane knew there was no sense trying to stop her.

  21

  Sarah was lounging in Mandy’s office the next morning when Mandy dragged herself into work. The second Mandy stepped through the door, Sarah jumped to her feet. “Tell me everything.”

  “There’s nothing to tell.” Mandy dropped her purse onto her desk.

  “You talked to him, right?”

  “Sure, I talked to him.” She circled the desk.

  “And you told him how you feel ... ?”

  She slumped into her chair. “Not in so many words. But he knows.”

  “And ...?”

  “And all he had to say was that what he shares with Brent—or Bob or whatever his name is—is different from what we share.”

  Sarah plopped her tush onto Mandy’s desk. “That’s something.”

  “That’s not enough, dammit.” Mandy rubbed her palms over her face, totally smearing her makeup. She didn’t give a damn. “Shit. I thought I was okay with this.”

  Sarah sighed as she swung one leg over the other. “I completely understand. Look at me and Eric.”

  “Yeah, speaking of you and Eric, what happened? It looked like your conversation was getting pretty intense.”

  “It was.” She started avoiding eye contact and fiddling with the file sitting on Mandy’s desk.

  “Tell me.”

  Sarah sighed. “He got married.”

  Mandy actually smacked her hands over her mouth. That was the last thing she’d been expecting to hear. And, looking at Sarah, it must have been the last thing she’d expected to hear, too. “Married? To a woman?”

  “Yeah, a woman. That fucking bitch.”

  “Ohmygod. When?”

  “Last weekend. They went to Vegas. Said he wanted to tell me himself, before I heard about it from someone else. I was this close to kicking him in the nuts when he told me.” Sarah indicated a tiny fraction of an inch with her finger and thumb.

  “I would be, too.”

  “I still can’t believe he married her. After he held me off all those years, telling me he couldn’t commit because he loved Christopher ...” Sarah stared down at the desk again. “That was after I found out Valdez is married.”

  “No!”

  “Yes. Bastards. Both of them.” Looking broken, defeated, Sarah slumped her shoulders. “I’m getting sick and tired of men. Maybe I should turn lesbian.”

  “Can you ‘turn’ lesbian?” Mandy absentmindedly shuffled through the reports Sarah had stacked on her desk.

  “I don’t know.” Sarah’s gaze slowly dragged up to Mandy’s. Her eyes were watery now and red.

  “Oh, hon. I’m sorry. Men suck.” Mandy took Sarah’s hand in hers. It was small, delicate, fragile. Oddly, Mandy had always seen her friend as a strong woman, the mistress she played in the dungeons.

  Sarah gave Mandy a watery half smile. “I think we should both turn lesbian. I’d do you.”

  Mandy felt her face go colorless. She remembered all too well how those three women had made her feel a couple weeks ago. Could she actually go there with Sarah? No way. With her free hand, she grabbed the tissue box out of her desk drawer and set it within Sarah’s reach.

  “I was just kidding,” Sarah said, a humorless laugh hiding her pain. She dabbed at her eyes with a scented tissue.

  The chime on the agency’s front door tinkled.

  Saved by the bell.

  Sarah hopped up. “I’ll g
o see who that is. Maybe it’s a new client.”

  “Thanks.” Mandy returned the tissue box to the drawer and rummaged in her purse for her cell phone. A tap sounded on her door. She glanced up and stood, prepared to open the door for her visitor.

  The door opened. Zane.

  “Amanda. I need to talk to you.” Stepping inside, he pointed to the door. “May I?”

  Mandy nodded. “Sure.”

  He closed it, then, after waiting for her to sit, took a seat in the chair in front of her desk. “I’ve been thinking about things. About what happened last night at the party.”

  Oh, shit, here we go.

  Lie? Or tell the truth?

  Truth.

  “Zane, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking about it, too. But, I don’t want you to feel like you need to explain anything. From the beginning you told me you couldn’t get involved in a committed relationship. I agreed to your terms. I have no right to expect something else from you now.”

  Zane leaned forward, resting an arm on her desktop. “Maybe you feel you have no right, but I know I’ve led you to believe things were progressing that way.”

  “Did you intentionally try to mislead me?”

  “No, but—”

  “It’s not your fault, then, is it?”

  Zane stood. Mandy hoped he’d stay where he was. Keeping the desk between them would make it a whole lot easier to stay somewhat objective. Of course, he didn’t.

  She pushed to her feet as he came around to her side of the desk and crossed her arms over her chest, giving him the don’t-come-too-close vibe.

  As usual, he ignored it, crowding closer. “Amanda, I can’t begin to describe my feelings for you. When I said what we share is different, special, I meant it. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

  “Okay, I understand.” She tightened her arms.

  “No, you don’t.” Looking intense, Zane jammed his fingers through his hair. “I can’t stop thinking about you, wondering what you’re doing, where you are, if you’re safe... .” He lifted her chin, staring into her eyes. “I can’t get enough of you. I can’t kiss you enough. I can’t touch you enough. I can’t hear that sweet little voice of yours enough.”