I reach up and pull him down by his neck, running my tongue over his lips and kneading his strong back. “From now on, there are no secrets between us.” I nuzzle my face against the strong column of his neck. “Promise me, Caleb. No matter how impossible it feels to tell me, you need to be honest with me. Always. You need to trust me.”
“I do,” he promises, kissing me with the kind of fierce claim that makes me feel branded by him. I press against the heat of his body, my skin starved to feel his against it.
“I want you Caleb,” I whimper.
“You have me,” he says, working his hands low on my hips. He backs off the bed, his strong body silhouetted against the moonlight shining in the window, and strips all of my clothes off and into a pile on the floor. He stands, legs apart, bare chested, and stares at me.
He stares long and hard enough that my hands creep up to cover my exposed skin. “Don’t,” he orders, the word a rough command. “I want to look at you.”
“Caleb,” I say, reaching my arms out for him. He never takes his eyes off of me. His hands make quick work of his boots and pants, and, before I know it, his long, lean body is caged over mine.
I run my hands up and down the lengths of him, trying to touch everything while I convince myself he’s all mine, here for me, not about to disappear again.
“I missed you, Elise,” he says, pressing his forehead to mine.
“Show me how much,” I dare him.
A wicked smile breaks over his face. He kisses me deeply, catches my wrists in his hands and pins my arms over my head. His body slides against mine, making me gasp and buck. I writhe under him, but he just keeps his torturous pace, dragging his mouth along my neck and down to my breasts. He pulls a nipple into his warm mouth and sucks hard, laughing when I moan.
“More?” he asks, his mouth venturing to the other side. He releases my hands and I knot my fingers in his hair, pressing his mouth closer.
“More,” I agree, letting my fingers move down to his neck and trace over his back. My legs come up to twine around his waist and lock tight. I shift against him and feel the first tremors of a burrowed need suddenly unleashed. “Caleb,” I moan.
His hand pushes down my body, presses my thighs apart, and slides low. “Damn, you’re so wet, Elise,” he breathes, his fingers tripping over the sensitive folds before one slides deep into me.
I moan and press tighter to him, my hand running down to the hard, ready length of his dick. He presses his mouth to my shoulder, biting gently as he moans.
“I’ve wanted you so badly, Caleb,” I whimper.
He slides his finger in and out, then adds a second, letting his thumb work slow circles around my clit. “Not as badly as I’ve wanted you, Elise. I can’t tell you how many times I got in my truck and made plans to drive to your place and knock on your window like some damn high school kid.”
His fingers thrust deeper and I gasp, “I would have let you in.”
He rolls on top of me, kissing and touching until the knot that I had tied deep and low during his absence comes beautifully, powerfully unraveled. My hands grab at the sheets on either side of me, and I can’t trap the moans in my throat, though I know they’re too loud for this tiny space.
The problem is, I’m full of Caleb. The rich spice of his skin fills my nostrils, the feel of his long, lean body is under my fingers and rubbed in a long line against my body, his taste is on my tongue. I’m full of him according to every sense, but he isn’t even inside me yet. So I have to let go, not mind who hears or what they think, because I finally have him, all of him, and I’m not about to let him go.
“Now, Caleb,” I beg, and he listens, pinning me underneath him as he enters me, one long, smooth, tight fit that makes me dig my heels into the mattress and press my face hard into his neck to keep from screaming at the pure pleasure of it.
“Elise,” he growls, rocking his hips against mine, filling me with everything he has and is. I stretch my legs wide and take him, all of him, deep into me.
“Caleb,” I gasp. He sets a steady rhythm, one that makes me claw at his back and pull against his hips, fitting him tighter and deeper into me. I feel like I can’t get close enough, can’t feel all of him against me the way I need to.
“Holy hell, baby, you feel so good,” he says between gritted teeth, his eyes locked on mine as he pumps harder against me.
I watch him watching me, soaking in the determined passion in his eyes, the tight pinch of his wide jaw, the way his arms lock around me and his body thrusts against mine, and I start to lose it again.
“I think...I think I’m…” But I can’t finish because an explosion shakes me low in my body and sends me bucking and grinding against him. He crushes me to his chest, thrusting one more time before he moans against my neck.
We pant on the small, lumpy hospital bed, slick with sweat, our hearts thudding so loud, I can see them jumping under our skin.
“I don’t wanna be apart like that again,” I tell him, my words shaky. “I love you.”
He kisses the tip of my nose. “I love you, too. But if that’s the way you’re gonna punish me for disappearing for a few weeks, I can’t promise you I won’t do it again.”
I lean my head against his body and laugh with him, filled with certainty that this is the man I’m meant to spend my life with.
Loyalty has been on my mind a lot lately.
I’ve been sitting in my car outside my brother’s house for a good fifteen minutes, just looking at the place. I remember when it was our grandparents’ house, and there were tiny, intricate gardens everywhere. Charlie pulled them out.
Gardening isn’t his thing.
If it was me, I would have left Gran’s plants to run a little wild. Because it would have made me sad to rip all the work she did and love she put into the soil out by the roots. But Charlie likes things to appear perfect no matter what, so he planted easy to maintain bushes that he borders with fresh mulch every few weeks.
It does look very orderly. Very neat. Unless you’d been here before Charlie made changes, you’d never know that so much had been destroyed to bring the garden into order this way.
There’s no doubt in my mind that my brother loves me.
It’s just he loves things on his own terms. He always has. And sometimes the desire to be in control turns him into a monster. I’ve ignored things. Too many things.
Now it’s time to face the brother I love. The brother who broke my heart with his selfish, stupid lies.
“Lise?” He opens the door and smiles, his expression puzzled. “What’s up? You okay. Mom didn’t need us over to set up yet, did she?” He checks his watch. “It’s not even nine. You need a drink? Grub?”
I shake my head. “We need to talk.” I sit down and then wish I hadn’t. Charlie stands, his arms crossed over his chest.
“Okay.” He takes a deep breath, like he’s already tired of all this. Of course. Charlie has no patience for anything that doesn’t go exactly the way he planned.
“Have you heard from Lawson yet?” I ask.
“Lawson?” He sounds surprised, but relieved. He pulls a carton of orange juice from the fridge. “I’m worried about him too. After we talked, I checked in a few places he’s been hanging out, but I haven’t heard. He’ll turn up. Don’t worry.”
“You never told me his friends got arrested. You didn’t tell me one of them OD’d.” I watch his mouth go tight.
“I didn’t tell you because Lawson didn’t get arrested. And the guy who OD’d was just some random junkie. What was there to tell, Lise? You don’t fill me in on every detail from every shift you work.” He puts his cup down on the counter and turns to look right at me.
“Maybe some jail time would have been good for him,” I say. Charlie rolls his eyes. “Why are you acting like that’s such a stupid idea?”
“Look, I love Lawson like a brother. I do. But he was kind of washed up kid from the time he was in middle school, okay. I’d never see him hurt if I could help,
but all the clinics and counseling and rehabs? He doesn’t want it. So it’s a waste of time to force him.” Charlie shrugs like that’s just an indisputable fact. Period.
“When was the last time you talked to him?” I ask, my voice shaking. “Not, like, to give him money or get him out of trouble. When was the last time you asked Lawson what he wanted?”
“Don’t, Elise,” he snaps. “Don’t play this whole babe in the woods bit. You’re a nurse. You know that sometimes the truth sucks. It does. Sucks hard. But that doesn’t mean it’s any less true. I could talk to that kid till I was blue in the face. It’s not gonna stop him doing whatever he needs to do to score.”
“What if he wants out of that life?” I demand, my palms flat on the table. “It might be messy and hard, but we could help him climb out of his addiction.”
My brother groans and shakes his head. “Listen to yourself! Elise, you’re living this fairytale, okay? Love doesn’t solve all; you can’t snap your fingers and make shit all better. The only person who can decide to fix Lawson’s life is Lawson. Period.”
“You really don’t believe that sometimes people are so lost, so screwed up, they just need one person to believe in them? Just one person to defy everything they’ve ever heard about themselves and tell them they’re worth it.”
I’m shaking hard, thinking about the way I almost bought everyone else’s prejudices about Caleb Warren. How I first saw him as a drunk with no future and too much arrogance. Now I can’t believe I honestly felt that. How could I have been so wrong?
“Are you serious?” My brother sneers a little. “Are you looking for a job as a high school counselor? Because I think you have too much blind optimism to make it.”
“So what’s his future?” I ask, swallowing the lump in my throat that rises up when I finally see Charlie for who he really is, blinders off, no distractions.
“Lawson will float in and out of his own life,” Charlie bites out. “He’ll have better years and worse ones, but most of his energy will go toward scoring. And while you tell him what a special snowflake he is, I’ll work the beat, keeping him out of trouble as best I can, and trying to make sure he doesn’t end up in jail.”
“What if he needs some jail time, Charlie? What if that would help him?” I ask.
“Elise, you have no clue what jail is like, okay? Plus that, I’ll be damned if Mike Bazanac’s little brother ends up rotting behind bars while I’m on the force.”
There it is. The twisted arrogance coupled with the need to control how everything looks. My brother would rather have things look the right way than deal with any messes, any embarrassments.
And it all slides into place for me.
My voice is choked with emotion. “So, that’s why you framed Caleb? Because your little sister will never be with someone who has a record? That would look bad for Officer Dupuis, wouldn’t it?”
“So that’s where this was going.” He jumps up and points a finger at me. “I knew you talked to that scumbag. And, for your information, I was never planning to frame your loser ex. I found drugs in his truck.”
“Lawson’s drugs?” I ask, my teeth chattering from how hard I’m shaking.
“I have no idea where he got them, though it’s not a stretch. He and Lawson run in the same circles, Lise. That’s not me putting together some plot to undo him. That’s fact. Look, I know you liked the guy. I know he was charming and whatever. But people like him, they don’t change. They never change.”
“Well, how can they, when they have people framing them and driving them out of town!” I cry, slapping my hand down on the table.
“I did it for you!” my brother yells back. “Damn it.” He lowers his voice and holds his hands out. “Look, I did find drugs in his vehicle. I know his background. And maybe, possibly, he’s the one percent exception to the rule. Maybe he’ll beat the odds. But I’m not willing to gamble your happiness or safety on it.”
“What the hell makes you think that’s your call, Charlie?” I demand.
“Because I owe it to Mike.” My brother clenches his teeth and leans over the table, his fists down and bearing into the wood. “You know what? Maybe I am a control freak. But the day Mike died, I was out of control, and it all went to shit. It all did. And I’m not going to let that happen to anyone I love again.”
“What are you talking about?” I look at my brother, but his eyes are glazed over. He’s breathing hard and his entire body is tensed. “Charlie?” I put a hand on his shoulder and he jerks away, looking at me with wild eyes. “Charlie, Mike got shot. You had nothing to do with that. Nothing. There was no way to control it.”
My brother blinks a few times, hard and rubs his hands over his face and through his hair. “Right. You’re probably right. Okay.”
Part of me wants to wrap my arms around him and help him deal with the pain that’s still so damn raw. But my brother’s pain is no excuse for the way he manipulated Caleb and Lawson. I’m not letting him off the hook, and I refuse to be a pawn in Charlie’s games, no matter what his intentions might be.
“We need to talk about Caleb,” I say, and, no matter how gentle I made my voice, my brother scowls. “Whatever you thought you had on him, trust me, you’re wrong. I talked to Lawson.”
Charlie looks up at me and frowns. “You knew where he was all along?”
“He’s in detox. Caleb knows a judge who pulled some strings. There’s this amazing program that helps young addicts, gets them cleaned up, gets them access to education, helps them find work—”
“Those programs are for junkies with nowhere else to turn,” Charlie says. “Lawson has a family. If he wanted all that, he just had to ask for it.”
I look at my brother, the one person in the world whose experiences were most like mine. The one person who I truly thought ‘got’ me. And I can’t believe how different we truly are.
“I guess Lawson didn’t feel like he could ask us. I guess we failed him.” I say the words softly.
“And Warren was his savior?” Charlie asks around a biting laugh. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Caleb is an amazing, upstanding man,” I say to my brother, my voice steady and firm. “And I love him.”
Charlie rolls his eyes. “Spare me the dramatics. If you want to date that loser, fine. It’s your life, I guess. But if he makes one misstep—”
“Stop it!” I grab Charlie by the arm and look right into his face. “You stay away from Caleb, Charlie. I talked to Lawson and he will backup Caleb about the fact that those were his drugs. And I know you had no warrant to search Caleb’s truck.” I don’t come out and say what I’m implying, and I don’t need to.
Charlie’s face goes hard. “So this is what it’s come to?”
“Don’t,” I warn.
“You know this guy a few months, and you trust him over your own flesh and blood?” Charlie snorts. “Wow. I gotta say, I didn’t expect this from you, Elise. After the shit we’ve gone through, I never thought we’d be sitting here while you accuse me of all this.”
“Charlie,” I say, trying to keep my voice from pleading. I want to tell him that he and I are family—blood related, but that he knows nothing about loyalty.
“No, it’s fine.” He stands up and holds his arm out, gesturing toward the door. “You have other people, more important people, to go spend your time with. Don’t let me hold you up.”
I shiver. His voice is frigid. “You can’t play with people’s lives, Charlie. You’re hurting people. Don’t you get that?”
For a second, my brother’s face crumples. There’s a flash of panic in his eyes and he leans hard against the wall. I rush to him, and he shoves his hands out and shakes his head. “Just go, Elise. Now!”
I don’t know what to do, so I rush out the door. I knew it would be hard to face him, to call him out on what he’d done, but some naive part of me thought he’d see the truth about what he’d done and come around.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe I am too trusting, too
optimistic. All I know is that I’d a million times rather believe that people have good in them than see everything as bleak and hopeless. Which is why, rather than hate my brother or feel angry for his misguided manipulations, my heart breaks for him and the ugliness he must see everywhere he goes.
“Mama, this is Caleb Warren,” Elise announces without any hesitation. She leans in close and presses her palm to my chest, claiming me as hers in front of her family. I couldn’t be prouder to stand at her side.
I also can’t be any more leery of her brother, who’s standing across the patio, arms crossed over his chest and an eat-shit glare in his eyes.
“It’s nice to meet you, Caleb,” Mrs. Dupuis says, her voice cool and polite. She extends her hand and I shake it lighter than I need to. It’s small like Elise’s, delicate-looking even, but she’s got a sturdy shake. She may look a typical Southern Belle, but she’s a tough one. She had to be, all those years of taking care of people. It does something to your hands, to your soul. “Elise’s father has gone to get her grandmother. You be sure to introduce yourself to them when they get back.”
She says it lightly, but I don’t mistake it for anything other than what it is: a firm order. I watch as she walks off, stopping to kiss Charlie on the cheek as she passes him. It’s the only second he stops scowling. As soon as she’s gone, he goes right back to giving me the evil-eye.
“Come on, love, let’s go grab a drink,” Elise says, tugging on my arm.
Charlie hasn’t taken his eyes off of me since we got here.
“Hang on a second, baby.” I pull my arm from her grasp but she follows my line of sight and grabs me by the elbow.
“Caleb, don’t,” she warns. Elise looks at her brother and shakes her head. “It’s not worth it. Plus, he’s got a date here, he won’t give us any trouble in front of Lindsay.”
I can’t stand Charlie. I think if I didn’t love this girl so damn much, I’d kick his ass and dump him in the pond behind his parents’ house right now. And even though I know Elise talked to him this morning and he gave her shit she didn’t deserve, I’ve got to give smoothing things over a shot for my girl.
Golden Hour (Crescent City) Page 22
