Running Away

by Jen Andrews

  Nat and Jackie joined me for lunch, and we recapped what had happened the previous night. Well, not all of it. I’d left a few parts out, mainly the part after I’d left with Jeremy. They’d both seen Cammie this morning, and said she had a black eye and a split lip.

  Thankfully, I finished out the day without anything going wrong. I saw Cammie from a distance as I was leaving, but she was wearing sunglasses.

  The next morning I woke in the midst of a mind-blowing orgasm. I was moaning quietly and clutching my sheets in my fists. That’s never happened to me before.

  I’d been having a great dream about Jeremy. Only, I realized everything in the dream had actually happened. I hadn’t had sex with Jeremy, but I had done something with him.

  Everything that had happened was at my instigation. He hadn’t coaxed me in to a thing.

  I’d been the one to kiss him first. I remembered the feel of his skin, the coarse hair on his legs against my legs while I had been on top of him in the middle of his living room floor. Most of all, I remembered the way his thick fingers felt inside me, and the feel of his erection pressed against me.

  I had begged him to touch me, and he had. Jeremy could have taken it further, but he hadn’t. He’d given me what I wanted and then he’d put me to bed.

  Thinking back to when I woke up in his bed, I’d been under the covers. He hadn’t. He’d been on top of them, fully clothed.

  All he’d wanted to do was take me somewhere private to talk, and I’d ended up throwing myself at him. What the hell was wrong with me?

  And what had I done afterward? I’d run away . . . like a scared animal. Now I felt like a jerk because I hadn’t given him a chance to talk.

  Parts of that night were still fuzzy, but I remembered him telling me Cammie was his ex, and he would’ve stopped her if he had known what she was doing to me at work.

  I thought back to one of the texts from Shannen. She said not to believe everything I heard, but to believe what I saw personally. That’s what I was going to do.

  So far, I’d felt the crazy connection we’d had in the ER, I loved the way he looked at me, and I craved the way he touched me. Oh God, that part I love the most.

  He’d written me a note asking to see me again. He’d come to the hospital to talk to me. He’d sent me flowers. Gary had never sent me flowers. Jeremy had told me I was the first girl he’d ever sent flowers to. That had to mean something, right?

  Then the man did just the opposite of what any other man would have done when I was crazy-ass drunk and throwing myself at him; he didn’t take advantage and have sex with me. He’d only touched me when I’d begged him to, and now my body hummed in blissful remembrance.

  But, I was embarrassed by my drunken behavior and I felt like apologizing to him. And I owed it to him to hear his side of the story.

  Finally, I gathered the nerve to go see him after Shannen and I had seen him one morning when we were out running. As we’d turned onto his street, he’d been leaving his house dressed only in shorts and running shoes. The sight of him had stopped me dead in my tracks. And because I’d still been so embarrassed, I’d ducked behind a parked car to avoid being seen by him.

  Now, here I was, standing in front of his house with his clothes in my hand, trying to gather enough courage to go to the door. I mentally kicked myself in the ass, walked to the door, and knocked. A few minutes passed before the door swung open.

  Standing in front of me talking on a cell phone, was a tall blonde-haired woman in her mid-twenties. Her eyes grew big when she saw me standing there. Was she expecting someone else? Did she know who I was? She motioned for me to come into the house. I stepped inside, and she closed the door behind me.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, pointing at her cell. “Give me a sec to finish this up.”

  She was wearing an engagement ring and wedding band that was hard to miss because of the size of the center diamond. The gem was easily two carats, and absolutely stunning.

  She turned and went into the room next to the kitchen. I could hear her conversation clearly.

  “It’s horrible. I’ve only been here twenty minutes and now that I’ve seen it with my own eyes, I am sick about it. Why would he do that to me?”

  She was upset about something a man had done, that’s for sure. I didn’t want to eavesdrop, but I had nowhere else to go, and she was speaking loudly enough for me to hear her from the other room.

  “I should have known that asshole would screw it up. He’s not even here, and he’s still hurting me.”

  Oh my God, who was she? Jeremy’s wife? Was he lying to me? She came back into the living room and tossed a bag of some kind to the floor next to the moving boxes. Is that a diaper bag?

  “I’m so sorry, just one more minute,” she whispered to me.

  This time when I looked at her, tears were forming in her eyes. Something was definitely wrong here. I nodded and swallowed hard. She wasn’t acting weird toward me, but still I wondered what she was going to do, or say to me when she was off the phone.

  She continued talking as she went back into the other room. She was pacing back and forth in front of the entryway, as she listened to the person on the other end of the line.

  “Jason, hang on a sec,” she said to the person on the phone, then said, “Good morning, beautiful girl, how was your nap?”

  The next time she paced by the doorway, she was cradling a baby against her shoulder. The little girl was adorable. She had blonde curls and big blue eyes. Big blue eyes. Oh God, was she Jeremy’s daughter? Had I stepped into Jeremy’s reality? The one where he had a wife and daughter? Why else would this woman and her baby be in his house?

  Glancing around the living room again, I noticed a few items I hadn’t the last time—a high chair, diaper bag, and a playpen. And of course, the pretty woman with her baby. I am such an idiot!

  The things she was saying . . . she was talking about him. The girls at work had to be right about him. I tossed his clothes on top of one of the moving boxes and left.

  Tears of guilt streamed down my face as I ran down the sidewalk. As I was fumbling with the gate latch, the woman came out the door with her baby still in her arms.

  “Wait!” she called out. “Come back!”

  There was no way in hell I was going back in there. I turned to her and took a shallow breath. “I’m so sorry,” I mumbled as I pushed the gate open. I ran home as fast as my shaking legs would carry me.

  In the safety of my bedroom, I curled up in to a ball on my bed and cried. I’d spent the night with not only a married man, but also one with a baby. I was a horrible person and he was a lying sack of shit. How could he cheat on her and their perfect little girl? Jeremy was exactly like Gary—no, he was worse because he had a child. He was like my cheating prick of a father who’d deceived my mom and his own family in Ireland. I felt so horrible I cried until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

  The next day at work, after I had been walking around as if someone ran over my dog, Nat and Jackie cornered me in the locker room. Too upset to care who was around, I told them about the married woman and her baby in Jeremy’s house. Shannen had been right on one account. I needed to believe not what I heard, but what I saw. And the possibilities of what I’d seen made me sick.

  Later that day, when I was in line to clock out I heard someone whisper from behind me, “I heard you met his wife and daughter.”

  Craning my neck around, I saw Cammie. Of course. I turned away without responding to her.

  “That’s how I met him. Here at the hospital. He wasn’t even here when his own daughter was born. He came afterward. Then an hour later he was fucking me in the parking garage.”

  She sounded prideful—like screwing Jeremy had been some great accomplishment for her.

  My stomach clenched and I swallowed back the vomit that was threatening to come up. Jeremy and Cammie were equally sick. And I was ashamed for what I’d done with him. I should have listened to the voice in my head that told me not to trus
t him. Now, I would never forgive myself.

  For the next few days, I lived in a guilt-ridden stupor. I went to work. I came home. I barely ate and I didn’t run in the mornings because I didn’t want to run in to Jeremy. My family was getting worried about me. Shannen tried to get me to tell her what was wrong, but I refused. I was so ashamed, that every time she brought it up I couldn’t keep from crying. Finally, she forced me to go grocery shopping with her to get me out of the house.

  As we were walking around the store, putting groceries in the shopping cart, a familiar person entered my view. Jeremy. He was carrying the sleeping baby in his arms and gently rubbing his hand up and down her back.

  His wife was next to him, pushing their cart, and filling it with food to take to their home behind the white picket fence, and prepare their meals. When he kissed the baby on the top of her head, I decided I had seen enough.

  Shannen was still comparing prices on pasta and I was grateful she hadn’t noticed them.

  “Shannen, I’ll be in the car,” I muttered then snuck out of the store as Jeremy and his family took a spot in line at one of the registers.

  By the time I was in my car, I was hysterical because I’d seen them all together with my own eyes now. I hated him, and I hated myself for what we’d done to his family. They didn’t deserve treatment like that and for us to put a sweet baby in the middle of this mess was unconscionable.

  To add insult to injury, the trio came pushing their cart across the parking lot and stopped at the back of a big black SUV—the same SUV I’d seen parked in front of his house.

  I watched them laughing and talking as they put their grocery bags into the back of the SUV. The baby was still in his arms, but she was awake now. In between helping his wife, he was being playful with his daughter. She was pressing her hand over his mouth and he was kissing it in return. When his wife pushed the cart over to the cart corral while he strapped the baby in her car seat, I reclined my seat and closed my eyes so I didn’t have to see them anymore.

  I was living in utter confusion. Teagan refused to speak to me, and I missed her like crazy. I barely knew her, but couldn’t stop thinking about her. We’d had something going the night I’d brought her home from Dub’s. Her leaving the next morning felt like someone had rammed their hand into my chest and was squeezing my heart.

  It fucking hurt.

  These feelings were unfamiliar for me. I was miserable, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Whatever had happened had been bad enough in her mind to ditch me. Again.

  A few days after she’d left me, she’d come back to see me, but I had been at work. I remembered the phone call from Zoey very clearly because she’d been having one of her panicky moments.

  “Teagan was just here. I don’t know why, but she ran away crying.”

  “What happened, Zoey?” This was so, so bad. On every level of bad, this was the worst level.

  “I don’t know, Jer. I was on the phone with Jason talking about how smashed and broken my car was, how it was so much worse than I thought it would be.”

  Her voice was unsteady, but she kept rambling like she did when she became overwhelmed.

  “When she knocked at the door, I knew it was her because she looked exactly like you’d said. I let her in because I wanted to meet her and get to know her, but Jay was still rambling on and on about the car, then Hannah woke up . . . and I picked her up from the playpen . . . then I heard the front door slam.”

  She took in a deep breath, and her voice was raspy from crying. “There was just so much going on all at once and I got overwhelmed a bit. She was at the gate when I called for her to come back. She told me she was sorry and ran away.”

  Shit. This is not good. “Z, did she say anything else?”

  “Nooo,” she said. “Jer, I’m so sorry, I should have hung up the phone with Jay, but I was upset. I asked her to wait, and she did for a few minutes, but then she took off.”

  She paused again briefly. “She did leave your shirt and boxers here though. Do I want to know why she had them?”

  Great, even my own sister thought I was an asshole. “She didn’t have them for the reason you think, Zoey. It’s not that way with her, trust me. I need to do everything right this time. That is, if she’ll even give me a chance. It’s not looking too promising though.”

  “Jer, I believe you. What are you going to do?”

  I had no idea then, and still had no idea now. That conversation was almost two weeks ago.

  I’d tried texting and calling Shannen, and even she wasn’t talking to me now. What happened to make Teagan hate me so much she wouldn’t even speak to me?

  So many thoughts ran through my mind. Did she regret coming to my house? Oh shit, did she regret what had happened between us that night?

  The thought made me sick to my stomach. What if Teagan thought I’d taken advantage of her? I should’ve put her straight to bed without touching her, but we’d both been drinking—Fuck. I am an asshole.

  But what if it had nothing to do with that? What if Cammie had done something else to her?

  I’d never know if I couldn’t speak to Teagan. I still didn’t know her cell number or her last name. The only thing I knew was her sister’s number. I was at a loss as to what I was supposed to be doing right now. I’d never chased a girl before, because I never had one run from me.

  I hated that she was running away.

  I wanted her to run to me, not away from me.

  I had no choice but to go back to my regular life until I ran in to her somewhere, or Shannen took my calls again. I worked at the shop every day, unpacked all my boxes, lounged around my pool . . . and waited. The thought of Teagan hating me had me stressed and worried.

  My living room furniture had arrived and the room was now complete. Zoey was finally working on decorating the kitchen and dining room. She’d sent me a text after lunch telling me she had a surprise in the dining room for me when I came home from work.

  Honestly, I was hoping she’d cooked me dinner. She was a great cook, and I was tired of living off sandwiches. One day, I’d even tagged along with her to go grocery shopping, so I would actually have food in my house. Instead, I’d spent most of my time packing Sweet Pea around and had forgotten half the shit I was planning to buy.

  My phone pinged with a text from John. Since it was Friday, I assumed he was checking to see if I was meeting the guys for MMA night. But that’s not what his text said.

  Shannen messaged me and says she’s getting your texts, but she has no info for you yet. Red won’t talk to her, so she’s giving her time until she’s ready to talk. She doesn’t want Red to find out she’s talking to you, so she asked me to tell you, and she’s sorry. She’ll let you know when she finds something out.

  Well, that was better than hearing nothing at all. I texted him back.

  I need to see Teagan. This sucks. I don’t know what I did to hurt her, but I can’t fix it if I don’t know what I did. Tell Shannen thank you. Gonna skip out on MMA tonight. Zoey has something planned.

  Shannen said whatever it is, it’s really bad. Every time she tries to talk to her, Red starts crying, so she’s not talking to her about you anymore.

  What the hell did I do to her to make her cry? The thought of upsetting her that badly made my chest hurt. I wanted to leave work to try to see her, but the only place I was confident I would find her, was the hospital. And I wasn’t about to go there and give Cammie any reason to harass Teagan. I felt like shit enough as it was for what Cammie and her friend had done.

  After work, I drove home and found Zoey’s Tahoe in the driveway. I pulled in and parked next to it. As soon as I opened the front door, I smelled food cooking. Thank God.

  “Z? I’m home!” I called out. I didn’t see her in the living room or the kitchen.

  She jumped through the dining room doorway into the living room, very excited about something. “Surprise!”

  Oh boy, someone was in a good mood. I laughed when Andy stepped
out of the dining room behind her holding my Sweet Pea. He was shaking his head and smiling at his wife’s enthusiasm.

  “What’s the surprise?”

  Andy and Z stepped aside and she motioned for me to go into the dining room. When I walked in, I found she’d not only painted it, but the entire room was completely furnished. She’d decorated the brand new table with place mats, my dishes, and a long, wooden centerpiece, shaped kind of like a canoe or something with these funky round ball things in it. It looked awesome.

  Everything was neutral with “little splashes of color” as Zoey liked to say. It looked like a family lived here, not a bachelor. I was thrilled with the results. “Z, thank you.” I looked around the room again. She’d made the entire house perfect for me—well almost perfect. One thing was missing. One major thing. The house needed a woman.

  No, I needed a woman.

  Zoey handed me an envelope. Inside along with a funny congratulatory card, was a personal note.

  Congrats on your new house. The dining room furniture and decor is our housewarming gift to you. Love you, brother. Zoey, Andy, and Hannah.

  “Seriously, guys? That’s awesome, thank you so much.” I shook Andy’s hand and hugged Z. “What’s for dinner?” I inhaled deeply. “It smells delicious.”

  “All of your favorites,” Zoey replied with a smile. “Now go take a shower. It’ll be ready when you’re done.”

  “Yes, bossy. Jesus, man, how do you put up with her?” I asked Andy.

  He laughed and shrugged his shoulders. “I just say yes. It doesn’t get any easier than that.”

  After I showered, I put on shorts and a T-shirt and headed to the kitchen. Zoey was pulling a glass baking dish out of the oven. She’d made her famous mac and cheese. I would be happy eating only that, especially if she put jalapeños in it.