Running Away

by Jen Andrews

  “Thank you so much, Zoey. You have no idea what this will mean to my mom.”

  “You’re welcome Teagan, and please, if you need anything else don’t hesitate to ask.”

  I heard her hand the phone back to Jeremy.

  “Hey, pretty girl, you get everything squared away?”

  Everything except my life . . . God, I missed hearing him call me “pretty girl” every day.

  “Yeah, I think so,” I said, as the tears streamed down my face. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how I wanted to come home, but I’d done the right thing by telling him to move on.

  “Jeremy, I need to go, but thank you for calling to check on me. It means so much.”

  “You’re welcome. Goodbye, Red.”

  His goodbye seemed so final, but I knew things had to be this way. I would see him in a few days at the funeral, but I needed to get back to taking care of Mama. She had taken Nanna’s death very hard, and I needed to stay strong for her.

  The next couple of days slowly dragged by. My parents’ house was the main hub for my grieving family to get together. My aunt flew in from New York to stay with my mom, so I felt better going back to Brit’s apartment every night. I needed time alone in my own room to think.

  On Thursday my family gathered at the church for Nanna’s service and greeted people as they came in, taking time to speak to each person. As I stood talking to a friend of Nanna’s, Shannen tugged my elbow to get my attention.

  “What’s going on, Shannen?”

  The worried expression on her face did not go unnoticed by me. Something was definitely up.

  “Teags, freaking Gary is here.”

  Gary? Why on earth is he here?

  “Where is he?” I asked as I glanced around trying to find him.

  “He’s up by the podium.”

  I turned around and saw him standing by the podium, dressed in a suit and wearing the stupid smirk on his face that I always wanted to smack. I marched up to the front of the church, stopping inches from him.

  “You are not welcome here, Gary. Please leave,” I muttered angrily.

  “Not a chance. You’ve been ignoring my calls for months, and now I finally have you cornered,” he said.

  “What the hell do you mean?”

  “It means . . . if you don’t agree to get me the money you owe me, I am going to cause a scene right here in front of God and everyone.”

  Taking a step back, I glared at him. “You wouldn’t do that to my family, Gary. This has nothing to do with them.”

  “I don’t give a flying fuck about your family, you crazy bitch. You took money from me and I want it back.”

  He was nuts. The money I had taken was mine. Yet, I knew he would cause a scene, and I couldn’t do that to my mom. Not at Nanna’s funeral.

  “Fine. We’ll go to the bank after the service, and I’ll get it for you, but please . . . please don’t ruin this for my nanna, Gary. She doesn’t deserve that.”

  “Good girl,” he said smugly, and I wanted to slap the bastard right across the face.

  When I turned around to go back to where my family was, he reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me back to him.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  “I don’t trust you not to take off after the service is over, so you’re staying with me.”

  “Are you kidding me? I need to be with my family.”

  “Then I’m coming with you. Just smile and pretend like we’ve cleared the air between us.”

  Not wanting to cause my distraught mother any more stress, I agreed. But I intended to make him regret it later.

  As I turned around to walk back to my family, I ran in to Jeremy. He looked between Gary and me curiously before speaking.

  “Hey, pretty girl,” he said, wrapping me in the warm and comforting embrace I’d missed so much. When he kissed the side of my head, I felt his fingers brush through my hair before he let go of me. “Who’s your friend here?”

  I painted on a fake smile. “This is Gary.” I watched Jeremy’s face fall as I said the bastard’s name.

  “I see,” Jeremy said. “I wanted to come by and say hi, but I can see you’re busy. I guess I’ll see you later.”

  Nodding, I apologized to him with my eyes, hoping he would see how sorry I was.

  “Why didn’t you introduce me to your friend, Teagan?” Gary asked, his voice dripping with spite.

  “Fuck you, Gary.”

  What I wouldn’t do right now to give him a nice throat punch! My family, along with Reese and Sonny had arrived at the front of the church and were taking their seats. I walked away from Gary and took my seat on the front pew of the church. That son of a bitch sat down right next to me.

  The service got underway, and my sister and Reese kept shooting curious glances in my direction, no doubt wondering why Gary was sitting next to me. I swore Reese had smoke coming out of his ears because he was so pissed.

  When the pastor was finished speaking, he invited Zoey, Sasha, and Jess up to the front of the church where they were handed microphones.

  My mom looked over at me, as Zoey gave a short speech, thanking me for giving them the honor of singing. The three women sang the song beautifully, a cappella. With the way they sang and harmonized together, they didn’t need music. The three had such distinctive sounding voices, yet complimented each other well. Clearly, they’d been singing together for ages.

  When the song was over, Zoey stayed at the front of the church while the other girls went back to their seats. I wasn’t sure why she stayed. She noticed me shoot her a questioning look, so she announced she was going to sing another song. The woman really knew how to work a crowd, and even though her next song was unplanned between us, nobody would’ve guessed it.

  Andy showed up next to her, with two acoustic guitars as Zoey attached her microphone to its stand. They each slung the straps over their shoulders and began to play. When I recognized the song, I knew it was Jeremy’s doing.

  One thing Jeremy and I always had in common was our favorite band. Andy and Zoey played their guitars, as Zoey sang a very subdued, acoustic version of “The Legacy of Odio,” by In This Moment.

  Jeremy couldn’t have picked a better song for me. I turned in my seat and searched him out in the crowd. He was sitting near the back, and to my surprise, the entire James family was surrounding him. Jeremy was holding his Sweet Pea, who was asleep on his shoulder. He made eye contact with me, and I mouthed “Thank you” to him. He gave me a half smile and tipped his head as if to say you’re welcome.

  Looking him over, I noticed his demeanor had changed since I had seen him earlier. His shoulders were slumped, his head was down, and he wouldn’t look at me again.

  “Turn the fuck around, Teagan,” Gary growled in my ear.

  I turned and concentrated on the rest of Zoey and Andy’s song.

  Gary is going to get it later, if it’s the last thing I do.

  When the song was over, some of Nanna’s friends went up to share a few stories and give their condolences. When they were finished, the pastor asked if anyone else would like to speak. His attention was drawn to someone approaching the podium. “Yes, young man, please step forward and share your kind words with the family.”

  Jeremy thanked the pastor and stepped behind the podium. His sad, blue eyes immediately sought mine.

  “Last year, I met the wonderful woman we’re all here grieving for today. The very first time I met her, she asked me to read to her from a book of Yeats poetry. I agreed, because my brother-in-law, Andy, once told me the easiest way to make a woman happy was to just say yes. That day I had two women I wanted to make happy. So I said yes.”

  The corner of his mouth turned up just enough for me to notice. Finally, I had the answer to his secret “man yes” code of honor that he refused to tell me about.

  “So today, I’d like to read two poems for her one last time. Every Sunday night for the past several weeks I’ve been going to read to her, and th
ese two were her favorites.”

  At that moment, I swore the love I had for the man at the podium tripled. I had no idea he’d been going to see her. I thought back to the times when I had gone into her room and her Yeats book would be on her bed, or placed in a different slot on her bookshelf. Rose swore she hadn’t been moving it, and said someone from the weekend staff must have been moving it.

  It had been Jeremy all along.

  Jeremy unrolled a piece of paper and began reading. The first poem was The Two Trees, which he’d read to her every time we’d visited her together—and the last words she’d heard before she passed.

  The happenstance wasn’t lost on me. Beloved, gaze in thine own heart . . .

  The next poem he read, I didn’t recognize. When he was finished reading, he rerolled the paper and slipped something over it to keep it from unrolling. Jeremy walked along the front of the church to my nanna’s open casket and laid the roll of paper inside with her. He touched her hand gently and walked toward the back of the church where his family was sitting.

  When the service was over, I walked straight up to the casket to see my nanna one last time. I was the first one there since I was only ten feet away from her. I kissed her on the cheek, whispered that I loved her, and straightened to look at her. That’s when the sun glinting through the stained glass window of the church gleamed off of something inside the casket.

  My heart sank at the sight of my papa’s Claddagh ring. That was the item Jeremy had slipped over the paper to keep it rolled up. I burst in to tears as I shoved the ring and paper into the pocket of my jacket.

  Right then, I realized I couldn’t let Jeremy go. The ring belonged to him, and so did my heart.

  The mourners filed out of the church, and I went to find him. Gary followed me, but I didn’t care. Almost everyone was gone, but I wouldn’t hesitate to knock Gary on his ass if he tried anything.

  I looked for Jeremy everywhere, but he was nowhere to be found. Luckily, I saw Andy loading his guitar into the back of Zoey’s SUV. I snuck away from Gary when someone he knew came up to talk to him and hurried over to Andy.

  “Hey, where’s Jeremy? I need to see him,” I said, as Gary jogged toward me.

  “He left the church right after he spoke.” Andy said, with compassion in his eyes. He pulled me close and hugged me as Gary slid to a stop next to us. “Do you need help with this asshole?”

  A giggle burst out of my mouth, and I squeezed Andy tightly. “As a matter of fact I do. Can you distract him for two minutes?”

  Andy gave me a nod and let me go. I pulled him back down and kissed his cheek, then whispered, “Hurt him if you need to.” Andy gave me a knowing grin.

  He turned to Gary and held out his hand, and with a very American accent, he said, “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Joe, Teagan’s friend, and you are?”

  Gary took his hand and introduced himself. He tried to pull his hand away from Andy, but Andy tightened his grasp. Gary winced from the crushing pain of Andy’s grip.

  “Get outta here, Red,” Andy said with a smile, firmly holding Gary in place by his hand.

  I didn’t stick around to find out what was going to happen next. I ran to my car and got the hell out of there.

  The month of April brought on changes. Spring was in full force, flowers bloomed, and life had moved on. Nanna had been gone just over a month, her room emptied out, and a new resident moved in. I had given myself time to mourn for her and made several other decisions about my life. The day of her funeral, I realized I couldn’t be without Jeremy.

  He was the one for me.

  I didn’t know if my realization was from Nanna’s intuition coming true or the glint off my papa’s Claddagh ring in the church at just the right moment, I only knew I didn’t want to spend another day of my life without him. I didn’t know if he would ever forgive me for putting him through hell, but I had to try.

  After the funeral, I’d called and texted, but he’d only responded saying he didn’t have time to see me. His rejection hurt, but I understood. I decided to give him some space and time, and didn’t go by his house and try to see him. I owed him that much after the way I’d treated him. Thankfully, Mama and I had been busy since the service, taking care of Nanna’s estate and moving her possessions from the hospital, which helped to keep my mind off of Jeremy.

  Before Nanna passed, she had given Rose specific instructions that the Yeats book was to be given to the handsome, blue-eyed man who read to her every Sunday evening. So now, I was on my way to deliver the book to him and to see if he would talk to me. His ring was in my pocket, just in case.

  Driving to his house, I found the street lined with several cars and had to park halfway down the block. When I approached, I realized his house was the center of attention.

  When I reached his property line, I also noticed that something was missing. He had ripped out the fence. Then I saw the “For-Sale” sign in the yard. At the top of the sign was a smaller sign, advertising an “Open House.”

  No!

  No, no, no. He couldn’t sell his house! I marched up the sidewalk and through the open front door. Inside, I found couples strolling around, opening cabinet doors, closet doors, and listening to the real estate agent go on and on about the recent renovation.

  Every piece of furniture Jeremy owned was still in the house, and people I didn’t know were sitting on it as if it belonged to them.

  I want these strange people out! They don’t belong here!

  In the bedroom, the bed was nicely made with the bedding that had been sitting on it the last time I’d been here. I scurried into the guest bedroom and pulled open several drawers of his dresser, only to find them empty.

  Like a mad woman, I pushed my way through the sea of people to our bedroom again and threw myself down on the bed. I would force myself to stay on it, no matter how many visions of Cammie and Jeremy popped into my head.

  This is our bed, in our bedroom, in our house. This house is for us, and nobody else.

  I couldn’t let him sell it. Realizing I had to move quickly, I called the one person I knew would help me.

  She answered right away. “Teagan is everything okay?”

  “No, it’s not. I’m at Jeremy’s house. I need your help. I can’t let him sell it. Will you please help me?”

  “Absolutely, can you meet me at Rico’s right now? I’ll do whatever I can to help you, and him.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Zoey. I’ll see you soon.”

  Life was getting better.

  Seeing Teagan with Gary at the funeral had pissed me off. I knew there had been something going on between them, although I knew it wasn’t something she had wanted. Especially with the look she’d given me when she’d told me who he was, and then hadn’t introduced us.

  She might not have noticed, but I had been keeping an eye on her during the funeral. When Andy and Z had been playing their song, and Teagan had turned to thank me, I had seen that piece of shit Gary whisper something to her. She’d looked like she was ready to punch him when she turned back around.

  When the pastor had asked if anyone wanted to speak, I’d made an impulsive decision to, but I’d really wanted to check on Teagan. I’d barely been able to see her from where I sat at the back of the church with my family. I hadn’t been prepared to speak and hadn’t had anything written down to say, so I’d improvised.

  During the service, I’d nervously rolled my funeral program up and still had it in my hand when I walked to the podium. Once I’d made sure Teagan was okay, I’d unrolled the paper and recited the poems from memory. I’d already planned to give the ring back to Teagan, but as I was standing there, I realized since her grandmother had been the one to give it to me, I wanted to give it back to her.

  Sliding the ring over the rolled paper, I’d slipped it into Nanna’s casket when I’d said a final farewell to her. I’d placed it where Teagan or her mom could see it if they wanted to take it and keep it. With no other reason for
me to stay at the funeral, I’d left. Teagan had made it obvious she wanted me to move on when she came into my room the night Nicole had brought me home from Sam’s.

  Yeah, I was shocked to find out that Teagan slipping into my bed and telling me to move on that night wasn’t a dream. Nic had called me the day before the funeral to check on me. That’s when she told me Teagan really had been at the house. Not the usual vision I saw of her when I was shit-faced.

  Now, I was taking her wishes seriously and moving on, quitting my “path of self-destruction” as Teagan had called it. Well, if I was on a path of self-destruction, Teagan was the fucking tour guide. Yes, I was angry with her, but I’d finally accepted that we were over.

  I was tired of being miserable. Tired of not sleeping, and tired of being in my house alone. As soon as I’d gotten home from the funeral, I’d packed all of my clothes and personal shit I used every day, and had gone to stay at the apartment above the shop.

  Since the apartment was fully furnished I hadn’t needed to bring anything from my house. All the furniture and everything else could stay there for all I cared. Which, in turn, made me feel extremely guilty after all the work my sister put in to making my home perfect.

  With the apartment being quiet and containing nothing familiar to me, I’d finally started to relax for the first time in months. The place held no reminders of Teagan, no reminders of Cammie, and no reminders of the house that I loved so much but which I knew I wouldn’t be going back to.

  I had tried to live a normal life. I had tried to make a home. I had tried falling in love and making a life with someone.

  I had fucking failed.

  Miserably.

  I had to sell the house.

  My decision to sell didn’t come easily. In fact, it was probably the second hardest decision I’ve made in my life. The hardest decision of my life was to let Teagan go, and move on. She wanted me to be happy, and my house was not making me happy.

  In fact, every day I’d stayed there without her had depressed me more and more.