WolfeLord: de Wolfe Pack Generations
Page 24
“Let me have him.”
She turned to see Will standing there, looking positively ashen. Adria couldn’t help the tears as she stood up, handing the little baby over to his father. Or at least the man who believed he was his father. Will looked the child in the face for a moment before he sat down on the edge of the bed, all the while unable to take his gaze from the baby.
Adria watched him for a moment before she turned back to the fire, putting more fuel on it and stoking the blaze. When she was finished, she stood up and simply watched him, still hearing Scott and Tarraby in the other chamber, now joined by servants who were helping them out. She could hear all of that commotion but she was terrified to ask about Lily. Somehow, she already knew the answer.
Her friend was gone.
Lowering her head, she wept.
“You were brave, Adria,” Will murmured. “So very brave. My son would not be alive right now were it not for you.”
That only made Adria weep harder. She wept aloud, turning her face to the wall, so shocked and sickened and terrified that she couldn’t conceal it. When next she realized, she felt a warm hand on her back, comforting her.
“Turn around,” Will said gently. “Turn around and look at me.”
Adria turned around, but she wouldn’t look at him. Will put the baby in her arms.
“Here,” he murmured. “Hold him. Hold him and love him. I do not know if he will survive and I want him to know warmth and comfort and love. Will you do this for me?”
Adria thought her heart might truly break at that sad request. She took the infant without question, who had quieted down by now.
She held him tightly.
“He’s so beautiful,” she whispered, tears dripping off her nose onto her lips as she looked down at the little face. “He’s perfect.”
Will had agony in his eyes as he gazed upon his son. “He is quite perfect,” he said. “Perfect and loved.”
Adria rocked the child gently. “We must feed him,” she said. “Even if he is not long for this world, we cannot let him starve. He is hungry.”
Will nodded weakly. “I have already sent a servant to summon the midwife from town,” he said. “The woman will bring a wet nurse.”
The baby was still mewling, which gave Adria an idea. If the child was hungry now, there was no telling when the wet nurse would come and she couldn’t stand the thought of a hungry baby. Without a word to Will, she went into the main chamber where Scott and Tarraby were doing something to Lily. Adria didn’t even look to see what it was because it really didn’t matter. While they were working at her bottom end, she went to Lily’s head.
The woman was as pale as the linens she lay upon. Adria didn’t know if she was alive or dead and she didn’t ask. The top of Lily’s shift was bound by ties and she loosened the ties enough to expose a breast. Will, who had followed her into the larger chamber, saw what she was trying to do and helped her, peeling back the top of the shift to expose both of Lily’s breasts. Carefully, Adria lay the baby against Lily’s breast, putting the little mouth on the nipple.
“Come along, little man,” she whispered to him. “You must feed. You can do it.”
Instinct took over in the infant, who immediately latched on to the breast and began to suckle. Breathing a sigh of relief, Adria held the infant to Lily’s chest as the baby suckled furiously. She wasn’t even sure if he was getting any nourishment, but she thought so. A little was better than nothing at all. Then, and only then, did she dare to look at Lily’s face.
Her skin was gray, her lips blue, and Adria knew that her friend of many years was gone. The tears, which had somewhat abated, returned.
“Oh, Lily,” she breathed. “He is beautiful. I know you would be so happy and proud.”
Tears popped from her eyes, sprinkling the skin of Lily’s chest, as Adria returned her focus to the infant, who was feeding eagerly. She knew that Will was somewhere behind her, but it occurred to her that Tarraby and Scott had stopped working on Lily. Her legs were down now, and closed, and they’d pulled the skirt of her shift down. Someone tucked a blanket around her hips and legs, covering the bloody stains as much as they were able. Behind her, the servants were quickly wiping up the blood from the floor.
For a room that had been so chaotic only moments earlier, now it was eerily silent.
It had become a tomb.
For the longest time, they simply stood and watched as Adria fed the infant his dead mother’s milk. Adria switched breasts, letting the infant feed until he was sated, before collecting him back into her arms and pulling up the top of Lily’s shift to cover her up. Adria could see a second pair of hands helping her, old but delicate hands, and she looked up to see Jordan.
The elderly woman was stoic in all things. She fastened up Lily’s bodice and pulled the coverlet up to her neck, smoothing back Lily’s hair and generally tending kindly to her. Then, she held her hands out for the infant.
“I’ll take the wee bairn now,” she said softly. “Ye did well, lass.”
Adria handed over the infant. Jordan put the baby on her shoulder, burping the child as she headed back into the alcove, which was warm now with the fire burning. When she disappeared into the chamber and shut the door quietly, Adria simply sat down in the chair next to Lily’s bed.
She was dazed to the core.
What she didn’t realize was that every man in the chamber was looking at her. There she sat, covered in Lily’s blood, pale from tears and distress, but she had done something incredibly brave in a terribly stressful moment.
She’d earned their respect.
“Papa,” Will said faintly. “Will you please take Adria from here? She’s had a terrible shock.”
Scott nodded, going to Adria, who quickly resisted.
“Nay,” she said, looking between Scott and Will. “I do not wish to go. Please do not make me. I have been at Lily’s side nearly every day for over ten years and I am not going to leave her now. I am her lady-in-waiting. It is my right to stay.”
Scott looked at Will, but his focus was riveted to Adria. “Your loyalty is touching,” Will said softly. “I know Lily loved you, but it is my wish for you to find Atticus and remain with him. Do not let him come up here because you know he’ll want to. I do not want him to see his mother before I’ve had a chance to tell him.”
Adria understood, but she still didn’t want to leave. In that moment of indecision, Scott spoke up.
“I’ll find Atticus,” he said. “I’ll help him burn down villages and swing on his rope by the river. Do not worry about him, Will. I will take care of him for now.”
Will was still looking at Adria as his father motioned to Tarraby, who followed him from the chamber. The servants had finished cleaning up the floor and they, too, quit the chamber, leaving Will and Adria alone with Lily’s corpse. Adria turned her focus to her friend, reaching out to touch the woman’s cheek.
She burst into quiet tears.
“She is still warm,” she sobbed. “Is she truly dead? She cannot be. She is still warm.”
Will went to her. He wanted to comfort her, perhaps with a touch or an embrace. But somehow, he didn’t think that would be appropriate in the room with his dead wife. Perhaps Lily had never shown any respect for him during their marriage when it came to Marcellus, but that didn’t mean he was going to start showing attention to Adria. At least, not at the moment.
It just didn’t seem right.
“There was nothing they could do,” he said quietly. “It was as we feared. She had been bleeding inside and when the child came, all of that blood drained out of her and more besides. Can you tell me what happened? Were you here when it started?”
Adria wiped at the tears on her cheeks, smearing them with the dried blood she had on her hands. “I came in to see if she was still sleeping and found her on the floor,” she said. “Lily said she felt pains in her belly and then she started bleeding. By the time I got her on the bed, the child’s head was already out. One more st
rong pain and he was in my hands. That is when you came in.”
Will started to say something but a noise caught his attention. Adria heard it, too. It sounded like singing or a distant chorus, but when he followed the sounds to the door and opened it, they realized the sounds were coming from Marcellus as he wept softly on the top stair of the landing. The man was simply sitting there, weeping into his hand.
Will stood there for a moment, looking at him.
It was a pathetic sight to see, the impact of Lily’s death upon one who had kept his feelings for her deeply concealed. Perhaps Will had only loved Lily as a friend, and Adria loved her as a sister, but Marcellus had loved her as the wife he’d never had. Those feelings were never more evident than they were at this moment.
Even Will could see that.
“Marcellus,” he said quietly. “Get up and come inside.”
Adria heard him. Eyes wide, she stood up from the chair, moving away from the bed as Marcellus came in. The man was absolutely shattered. As Adria watched, Will took him by the arm and directed him over to the bed, to the chair that Adria had been sitting in. Marcellus sat heavily, looking at Lily with tears streaming down his face. Adria was standing by the wall as Will went back to the door, motioning for her to follow him.
She did.
The two of them headed down the stairs, to the smaller great hall below. Will went to the nearest table, sitting wearily, as Adria stood at the bottom of the steps, looking up into the stairwell as if wondering why Will had left Marcellus with Lily. Did he even know how foolish that was? Of the lies those two had perpetrated upon him?
Her confusion had the better of her.
“Adria,” Will said softly. “Come here.”
Adria did, moving over to the table. He silently indicated for her to sit and she did. Head hung, she caught sight of her dress, a light woolen garment that had been dyed a medium shade of green, only now it had bloodstains all over it. She sat there looking at Lily’s blood on her when Will spoke quietly.
“Do you know why I permitted Marcellus to sit with Lily?” he asked.
Adria’s head came up, her gaze fixing on him. “I… I was just thinking on that,” she said. “He has known her for many years.”
“He has loved her for many years.”
Adria’s shock registered. She had no idea what to say to that and Will didn’t torture her. He held up a hand to ease her surprise.
“I know that you know about them,” he said. “My grandmother heard you and Lily arguing about it.”
Adria couldn’t deny it, but she had no idea how Will was going to react to the fact that she knew. “Aye,” she said honestly. “Just a little while ago, we were arguing about it. I knew your grandmother was sleeping in the alcove where I usually sleep but I did not know that she heard us.”
“How did you find out about them?”
Adria couldn’t tell if he was angry or not. “I heard Lily and Marcellus speaking,” she said. “I did not mean to eavesdrop, mind you. I had gone to retrieve a cap for Atticus. I was not even sure what I had heard at first, but by the time I realized what it was, I had heard quite a bit.”
Will looked away, thinking on what she said, his eyes taking on a distant gleam. “And you heard them say that the child she carried was Marcellus’?”
“Aye, Will.”
“Atticus, too?”
“Aye, Will.”
He looked at her again. “Is that what you and Lily were fighting about?”
Adria averted her gaze. “I was… angry,” she said. “When someone you trust falls from grace, it is a difficult thing to bear. I told her that she was wrong and that she needed to tell you the truth.”
“Why?”
“Because it is not fair to you,” she said, feeling strongly about a sensitive subject. “Mayhap that is assuming too much, that I should not involve myself in your business, but you and Lily made me a part of your business when Lily asked me to marry you. I am supposed to have no feelings about her behavior? About Marcellus? What they did is wrong.”
Will did something at that moment on impulse. He reached out and grasped one of her hands, holding it tightly in his big fist. It was an impulse because, for the first time in his life, he saw a woman leaping to his defense. He’d been married to Lily for many years and never saw her leap to his defense like that. Something in Adria’s reaction to Lily and Marcellus’ deception touched a chord in him, a chord he didn’t even know he had.
He grasped her hand in silent gratitude.
“Under normal circumstances, it was very wrong,” he said calmly. “What did Lily tell you about it? Why she and Marcellus carried on?”
Adria could only seem to look at his hand as it closed over hers. It was warm and strong, causing her heart to race. Something about that hand over hers awakened something in her.
Something needful and giddy.
“She said that her father had forced you two to marry,” she said, struggling to focus on something other than her hand in his. “She said that she had loved Marcellus before she married you.”
“She did.”
It took Adria a moment to realize that Will didn’t seem surprised by all of this. It further occurred to her why.
“You knew?” she asked, incredulous. “You knew about them the entire time and you never tried to stop them?”
He nodded. “My father asked me the same question,” he said. “I will tell you what I told him – Lily’s father should have never forced us to marry. He forced his daughter to marry one man when she loved another. I have never been in love with a woman, but I should imagine that being forced to marry someone other than who I loved would be a terrible thing. Lily never asked for a marriage to me. She wanted to marry Marcellus but her father had other ideas.”
Adria stared at the man. “Then… then they had your approval to carry on in secret?”
He shook his head. “Not approval,” he said. “But they had my understanding. As long as they did not publicly shame me, as long as they were discreet, I did not trouble myself over it. But my mother heard you say that Atticus and the child Lily just gave birth to were not my children.”
“That is what Lily told me.”
He squeezed her hand and let it go. “I should be irate,” he said. “I should be furious. I should kill Marcellus. But that would not solve the problem, nor would it destroy the feelings they have for one another.”
“But what they’ve done to you is wrong.”
“It is,” Will agreed. “But do not look at me as a victim in all of this. The real victim is Marcellus. Can you imagine having children with the woman you love, only for them to bear the name of another man?”
Adria was coming to realize that he really wasn’t troubled by any of this. At the very least, he’d reconciled himself to it. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it.
“Are you truly so unselfish?” she asked. “Or are you truly so callous? Does the sanctity of marriage mean nothing to you?”
He met her confused gaze. “It means everything to me,” he said. “I never took a mistress, not in all of the years Lily and I were married. Even if Lily did not honor her vows, I did.”
“But you never banished Marcellus.”
Will shook his head. “Nay,” he said. “As I said, removing him would not be the answer. How do I know? Because Lily’s father tried to send him away, once, and she attempted to kill herself, so if I sent Marcellus away, she might try again and then everyone would know that my wife had shamed me with another man. To preserve my honor, and the honor of the houses of de Lohr and de Wolfe, I did nothing. They kept it secretive so no one ever knew. Did you?”
Adria shook her head. “Never.”
“And you were close to Lily,” Will pointed out. “If you did not know or suspect, then no one did. That was my only concern.”
Adria was truly baffled by the entire situation. She couldn’t believe he was so complacent when it came to his wife and her lover, but in listening to his reasons and t
he situation from his perspective, she could understand why he did what he did. That was generosity and compassion that went beyond anything she ever thought a man was capable of.
Was Will de Wolfe truly so forgiving?
Lost to her thoughts, Adria didn’t realize that Will was watching her. He knew the situation was shocking and unconventional, and even though he’d known Adria for several years, he didn’t really know her. He didn’t know how she would react to his position on the matter because she was absolutely right – it was wrong. All of it was wrong.
But Will wasn’t sorry for his actions.
Far from it.
“Adria,” he said quietly. “If you view that as foolish, then I am sorry you feel that way. But I will not apologize for my decision for the greater good.”
Shaken from her train of thought, Adria looked at him. “It’s not that,” she said. “I was simply thinking… if you let Lily do as she pleased, then my loyalty to you would mean nothing. I could do whatever I wished and you would let me do it in order to preserve the de Wolfe honor.”
Will shook his head, his gaze intense. “Your loyalty would be the only thing that mattered to me. I will not tolerate a disloyal wife a second time.”
“Nor would I tolerate a disloyal husband.”
“I would be faithful to you until the day I died, Adria.”
“But that loyalty would only be out of honor?”
“What else is there?”
That wasn’t the answer she was looking for. There was something about Will that had conveyed he expected more from their marriage, something that would make him glad to be married.
Perhaps he was expecting what Lily and Marcellus had.
But Adria could see that she had been wrong in that assumption. With the events of the day, she couldn’t take another emotional or spiritual blow. She’d just been through the most horrific event of her entire life and had lost a dear friend in the process, and now… now, Will was speaking about honor, the only thing that evidently mattered to him. Perhaps that was all he had left because Lily’s lack of faithfulness had hardened him, had left him in a rock-solid fortress of self-protection where there was no emotion, no sentiment, only duty and loyalty. Only honor. Things that were cold and without feeling.