by Derek Palmer
I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them again I saw Bellcauniel looking at me closely.
""So, now when we have declared that you are not a monster, do you think that the people here would appreciate our wine at dinner?""
I almost hated myself for being so transparent to my women. Almost.
Three days later I woke alone in my bed. I'd like to say that I hadn't had any nightmares, but that wasn't the case yet. However, I felt a whole lot better now than I had felt before Bellcauniel's and Hantaliel's visit. Now they were gone - and so were those four women, including Linnea. It had been decided that all those women were better off with the Elves than anywhere else. I wasn't fully able to shake away the feeling that I had failed to protect Linnea the way I should have. I knew that the feeling wasn't a rational one, but still, it was there in the background. I shook my head trying to leave that feeling behind me and stood up. I had a mission to accomplish.
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Chapter 24
"Stian, might you talk to me before you leave?"
"Of course, Elise."
As soon as we were inside Elise's office, she turned and took my hands in hers. I didn't quite know what to think about that, since there hadn't really been that much physical contact between us before this.
"You know, Stian, that your Elven wives and I had a long talk and a few shorter ones after that."
"Of course, even though I have no idea what was being discussed. I saw no need to ask them, because I trust them and I trust you. Besides, asking them for something they didn't want to tell would have been totally useless."
Elise smiled a bit. "Yes, they can surely be like that. However, what I now have to say has nothing to do with that. Now I only want to say that, whatever you want, whatever you need in order to support your quest... You see, I started to become like the husband I hated; collecting wealth just because of it. Not anymore."
"Thank you, Elise. I promise to tell you if there's something."
"Good. There's one more thing that we talked about, but it's for later."
I hugged my landlady before leaving, wondering what it would be like, now, studying alone. While I had been with Linnea, we mainly concentrated on our studies and we didn't really make any friends. In fact, I wasn't quite certain if I should make any friends out there, since I had a feeling that all those friendships would be temporary.
The next two months I studied - and borrowed certain books from the library. Almost all my studies except Mathematics felt useless to me, since I got the feeling that the things they were lecturing weren't the way things were - or even how they had been when it was about history. No, it was more like how some of the leaders wanted things to be. Geography wasn't about the geography of the world, but about our Kingdom and how the knowledge of geography serves our Kingdom. History was about the history of our great Kingdom and about the savages outside our great Kingdom. Damn, even some of the old books I had inherited from my mother and father had more information about the outside world.
Biology and agriculture were a bit better, if you wanted to learn about the animals that lived here, or plants that could be grown here. In a way, it was like the rest of the world didn't exist or nothing of importance ever happened there. It started to seem to me that the old attack inside the walls of Aston wasn't directed just against the natural Mages, but also against those people who knew something, people who knew better. Now, they didn't want us to know better, they wanted us to know what was right. What was right for those who ruled.
Yet there were things that I needed to learn - like navigation. Which meant more Mathematics, much more Mathematics. Somebody should also be able to create an accurate clock that would work on a ship - and nobody else should learn about it. I sighed and collected my papers from the library desk and prepared myself for my next lecture.
"Get out of my way, creep!"
I was only a few steps away when I heard that yell. A thin guy had fallen down. All his stuff went flying and the big guy who had pushed him just smiled at his friends. I had to admit that the guy who had fallen really looked a bit like a creep, but that was mostly because of his pale, thin face and clothes that didn't really match together - let alone fit his skinny frame. It was clear that he was poor, really poor.
Before I really knew what I was doing I had stopped the big guy with my hand on his shoulder.
"I think you should apologize and help him up."
"Who the fuck are you?"
It was clear that he was going to hit me. The problem was that he had both of his hands free (one of his friends was obviously carrying his stuff) while I was carrying my things in my bag which was hanging from my left hand. I wanted to curse my own stupidity, but it was too late now.
At least the transition to my fight mode was now smooth. It was like I had all the time in the world to prepare myself for his haymaker. There wasn't even any need to think about my response when I released my hold of his shoulder, side-stepped and took hold of his hand when it flew past me. Then I used my grip to turn it over and I pulled his hand high behind his back. High enough to cause some significant pain.
"I didn't hear you saying that you are sorry."
"Fuuuuck! Release me!"
Instead of releasing him I lifted his hand even higher.
"Oh, I must have problems with my hearing."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!"
I released him so abruptly that he went to his knees. I looked at the guy and his friends.
"If I happen to hear that my friend, here, has some problems later on - here or even in his accommodations - I might consider that you are responsible. Think about it."
Then I quickly looked at the fallen guy and raised my eyebrows when our gazes met. As soon as he gave me a small nod that he was okay, I forced a thin smile on my face and walked away - cursing myself on my way. I had heard that the assistant who had tried to cause trouble for Linnea had had to leave the University. I hadn't said anything, but I knew that Linnea had spoken to Elise and she might have orchestrated something. Or perhaps the guy had just done something stupid again, this time to the wrong person. Whatever the reason, I had been happy not having to worry about being hit in the back. Now I had done that again, gotten myself an enemy just because I had been so damned frustrated. Frustrated because many of the books I would have liked to read had been moved into the basement, to be accessed only by those with that black pass. The Magic student pass.
If only the Twins were still alive, they would probably have known a way to get access there. I knew that I could ask for some books to be delivered to me, but there was no way that I could read the magical texts at the University Library where anybody could see me. I was quite certain that nobody had found those books and read whatever was written in those pages. When I had borrowed those books with some text, I was sure to borrow only one at a time and always together with some other books on the same topic. I did that even if I was absolutely sure that nobody knew about those books and the extra notes in them. Almost all the notes that I had been able to find so far had been more or less meaningless or irrelevant to me. There were some hints or references to other books - most likely nobody would have believed that those older books they had used for their hidden notes would become so dangerous that they needed to be removed from general access, to be delivered only by the library personnel.
Suddenly I felt stupid. That was the answer. Library personnel. I had to become a part of the library personnel.
Except that soon I found out that it wasn't my option to start working at the University Library. That place was just as closed a community as any of the families were. You could not just decide that you would become a part of it, you had to be invited into it. I had some lengthy discussions with Elise and Frode about it and that was about all they were able to tell me. With the Twins dead, we no longer had any easy way inside the University. Of course, Elise had her ways of getting to know things, but she couldn't really influence things without being noticed, and we d
idn't want to get noticed.
"They left me alone after your speech. They stopped torturing me. Thank you."
It was that creepy guy whom I had protected a few months ago. Or not really protected, just stopped some one-time harassment that I had seen and then forgotten. I put a smile on my face when I answered him.
"No problem. I may have a red pass myself, but it does not mean that I'd like the others having it. I was sent here so that there would be no problems in passing down the title."
"Don't I know that! Those guys with all their money waiting for the title to fall into their laps! Thinking that they are better than others just because of their heritage..."
I didn't say anything, just nodded to the guy who looked slightly better now that those dark circles around his eyes were gone. I guess that they also had harassed him at the University accommodation. I wanted to shake my head because of the disgust I was feeling. Maybe I didn't really like the guy myself, but that wasn't a reason to harass anyone. Then the guy started smiling as he showed me his yellow pass.
"Thanks to you, I managed to do so well in my studies that I'm on my way to change this stupid yellow pass to the black one! There will be a day that those noble guys will be scared of me. I'll make that happen."
I felt something cold around my heart. If this was the way the new Magicians were selected, it was no wonder the situation here was what it was. Someone carrying a terrible grudge could be selected if he or she was otherwise good or determined enough. Instead of speaking my fears out loud, I smiled at him. It wasn't quite as easy as it was the first time.
"That's great. Once you get started and have a say in things maybe you could help me to get a job at the University Library. I already work for my landlord and that covers my room and board, but it doesn't leave much money for living, not to speak of saving some - and for sure there's no money coming from my parents, ever."
"Library? Why the library?"
I wondered if I was pushing my luck here, but I had to start somewhere. I tried my best to look somewhat insecure. "I already do quite a lot of physical work when I help taking care of the building where I live, fixing the walls or the roof, or even cleaning the privy. I don't mind that, since my room is good - but especially during the summer I may have some extra time and I wouldn't mind working somewhere where it's clean or doesn't rain."
The creepy guy in front of me let out a small laugh. He looked almost scary, even in my eyes that had seen the odd creature and several angry Trolls. It wasn't even his looks, it was merely his eyes. While the eyes of the Elves seemed deep, even scarily so, his eyes looked almost feverish, as though there was something burning inside his head. Maybe there was.
"Trust me, I understand. I have been cleaning the laboratory almost all year and I can tell you that there are some people who can really make a mess and don't care at all if somebody else cleans it for them."
Then he looked at me in more serious way. "Why don't you apply for the black pass? I know that you do quite well here and I'm certain that you could be one of us."
Here it was. An offer. Even if I hated the Magicians, I had played with the idea of studying with them, learning their secrets and then using their own means against them. If only it would work that way. Those hidden messages I had found and that I had been able to read this far - or those that had been useful - had mostly been about the drugs the Magicians are using and their effects on people. Those writings also mentioned coffee and tobacco, but both of those were considered quite harmless when compared to the drugs the Magicians used. I shook my head, making sure to look even more insecure. I made sure to look at least a bit worried.
"A nice offer, but... Look, I have learned to protect myself physically, but the things Magicians do make my stomach uneasy. I appreciate that there are guys who do that stuff and protect us; but I'm afraid that if there would be some really hard place, I might not be up to it."
I could feel those dark, feverish eyes looking at me, but I didn't feel any pressure coming from him. I had been very careful with any use of magic while talking to him - even if his presence didn't show any natural magic within him. However, I kept on reminding myself that I had no idea about the variety of Human magic skills.
Without any warning, the guy started smiling widely and when he did that, he looked like any other student there. Well, not all of them were as skinny as he was and most of them dressed a bit better. At least he didn't look creepy when he smiled. I reminded myself that there was nothing that he could do about the way he looked.
"Oh, you don't have to worry about me. You can be sure that I'll help you with that if I can."
I offered him my hand. "Thank you. My name is Stian."
My offer to shake his hand took the guy by surprise but he took my hand and responded to the gesture. "I'm Rurik."
When I was on my way to the last lecture of the day, I was wondering what kind of step I had taken now. Getting friendly with one of the future Magicians wasn't something that I had planned to do. When I was seated in the lecture room, I closed my eyes for a moment. I didn't really think of Rurik as my friend, but he might consider me to be his friend. I opened my eyes and looked around the room before closing them again. I focused my thoughts on the women and children in the Hidden Valley. By the time the lecturer was ready to start, I was sure that I would do whatever would be needed in order to keep them safe.
A month later, the spring term was over and I was on my way to the library - again. If I was ever going to get work there, I needed to make myself familiar to the people already working there. I knew that I could have used my magic to help me, but I was afraid to do that, since I didn't know what the Magicians could actually notice. The Elves hadn’t been absolutely sure, either. So, no magic. However, it was difficult to push back the frustration I was starting to feel. I had even asked my family - or Elise and Frode - if they could find out anything about the Library, in case I'd need to break in to the protected part of it. However, that was something I wanted to avoid. I didn't want to give the Magicians or the Guardians any hints about what I - no, what we had planned.
"You are Stian, Stian Holth?"
There were two men who had come up behind me. Both of them were wearing black robes. My first reaction was that I had been caught! The Magicians had found out about me, and now they had come to get me. A part of me tried to tell me that it wasn't possible, there was no way they could have done that - unless they had caught the Elves... Then I realized that these two guys weren't 'full' Magicians, but just students. I forced myself to calm down, even if I didn't fully feel that way. I allowed myself to sense for threats, but I couldn't find any. No other people close to us. Maybe a prank - or some payback organized by that guy waiting to get his title.
"Yes, yes I am."
"You need to come with us."
"What about my books?"
"Leave them there. Nobody will touch them."
There. A moment of hesitation and I allowed myself to relax a bit. These guys were students and they knew the value of the books. If they had come here just to find me, they wouldn't have cared about the books, but they did - and they said that aloud. There were other people around and somebody might have heard the discussion. You could be a holder of that feared black pass; but even then, you wouldn't dare to challenge the librarians. I truly hoped that I was right.
When we started walking towards the doors of the closed section of the library downstairs, I allowed myself to relax some more. These guys might be Magician students, but for sure they weren't guards. Both of them were walking in front of me exposing their vulnerable backs to me. However, I couldn't help wondering what was happening when we walked past the guard at the door and down the concrete stairs to the section of the library I had only heard of.
When we were walking past the shelves, I couldn't help looking at the books hidden here - but it wasn't the backs of the books or the much dimmer lighting that caught my attention. No, it was the smell. It was stale without being musty
; you could almost sense the old paper next to you. Besides the smell, it was the noise - or the almost total lack of it. Then I got a flashback - during the spring when I had been clearing my head with long walks around Aston I had once found myself in the old city graveyard. Even if the church and the priests didn't have much power over the living people, they did have it over the dead ones and they had almost a monopoly regarding funerals. But that graveyard had been old and forgotten. Like most of these books were. Besides being the protected part of the library, this was also graveyard of the books. Graveyard of the unsuitable books.
Those two guys stopped in front of a door and turned to look at me.
"You need to go in there."
"Why? Can't you tell me anything about it?"
"Just knock and go in."
There was a smile in the corner of his mouth. Those two guys found this thing funny, but they were also scared a bit about what was behind that closed door. I tried to think quickly. We were close to the outer wall, which meant that there was some light coming from the windows that were set into wells outside the building. Besides those windows, there were heavy bars preventing any entrance that way.
