Tomorrow and Always

by Rachel Ann Nunes

  She saw his confusion. “I do love you, Malcolm.”

  He stepped out of the water, dropped the fish on the ground, and hugged her. She hugged him back, laughing the throaty laugh again, and he laughed with her. He felt like dancing, like shouting his joy to the wind so it could be carried to the entire world. His wife, this beautiful, pure woman loved him—or at least parts of him—and was going to have his baby!

  “Your mother was right,” Karissa whispered. “I made my body healthy, and . . . and . . .” She didn’t need to say more.

  Maybe his mother had been right. Malcolm’s own diet had changed, and his smoking was reduced by half. Who knew what result that might have produced? But one thing was certain: his mother would be overjoyed at the prospect of another grandchild. He would call her as soon as possible.

  * * * * *

  They took a boat back to the city of Kodiak, where they picked up Karissa’s Nissan. He wanted to drive, but she wouldn’t let him. “I’m pregnant, not an invalid,” she said. She smiled at him, a wide, happy smile. Malcolm knew he wore the same dumb grin on his own face, but he didn’t care. He almost couldn’t wait to get home to tell Jesse, Brionney, and the girls.

  In the end, their news had to wait. At home they found Delinda Goodrich with three frightened little girls. Savannah and Camille had tears streaked on their faces, and their dinner sat on the bar before them, untouched. Rosalie had laid her head on her arms, refusing to look at Sister Goodrich or at her sisters. When the older girls saw Malcolm and Karissa, they bounced from their chairs, talking all at once. Malcolm glanced at Delinda, trying to make sense of the jumble.

  “Brionney went to the hospital.” Delinda’s blunt, muscled hand fingered the thick gold chain at her neck. On her fingers she wore three expensive-looking rings. “She had her doctor’s appointment yesterday, and he thought there was something unusual; he didn’t say what. He ordered an ultrasound, but Brionney didn’t want to have it alone. They decided to do it on Monday so Jesse could be with her. Only this afternoon she started having contractions, and she was convinced her labor had started.”

  The color drained from Karissa’s face. “Poor Brionney.”

  “I’m sure she’s all right,” Delinda said. “She’s just nervous because of what the doctor said. That’s what brought this all on. She should have had the ultrasound yesterday to put her mind at ease. We all need to—”

  “She lost a baby before,” Karissa said, cutting off Delinda’s babble. Malcolm saw the visiting teacher’s eyes widen. He, too, was surprised; Jesse had never told him.

  “Can we go see them?” Savannah said.

  “Can we?” Camille echoed. Rosalie gave a loud sniff and gazed up at them beseechingly.

  Karissa’s eyes met Malcolm’s. He nodded. “Let’s all go.”

  “Thank you for coming out, Delinda,” Karissa said. “We appreciate it.” Malcolm knew she didn’t like Delinda, but the words sounded sincere.

  “Well, I’m Brionney’s visiting teacher now too,” the woman answered. “For as long as they’re here. I was only too glad I could come and stay with the girls.”

  “Pile in the Jeep,” Malcolm said. “Let’s go see what’s what.” The girls cast grateful looks at him.

  “Shoes first,” Karissa said. “We’ll need to go inside.”

  The shoe hunt began. Finally, Delinda found Rosalie’s last shoe under the sofa in the living room. “I’m good at finding things,” she said with a smile. “I’ve had a lot of practice with my brood.”

  Rosalie took the shoe and shoved it on her foot. “I all ready.”

  “So you are,” Malcolm said, picking up the little girl. She snuggled into him, reminding him of Karissa and his own growing baby. Already the great news had become a part of him, had changed him somehow.

  “I hope the baby’s all right,” Savannah said.

  He did too.

  * * * * *

  It was like a recurring dream from which Brionney couldn’t escape. Memories boiled to the surface until she couldn’t separate the past from the present. She clung to Jesse’s hand so tightly her fingers turned white.

  “The bleeding could be because of your appointment yesterday,” said Dr. Fairfax, the doctor on call. He was a young man in his mid-thirties with a quick smile, kind brown eyes, and dark hair. His body leaned toward heaviness around the middle, and he wore green tennis shoes and jeans under his white coat. “Did your doctor check you?”

  “Yes, he was concerned about something. He didn’t say what.”

  “I don’t see any signs of labor.” As Dr. Fairfax spoke the reassuring words, he spread a cold, clear jelly on Brionney’s bare stomach. The baby inside her moved away from the cold. The movements at least were comforting.

  “According to your records, the reason your doctor wanted the ultrasound is because you are measuring too large for how far along you are. That could mean problems, but it’s just as likely nothing. There could be a multitude of meanings.”

  “Why didn’t he tell her that?” Jesse’s face was tense, his dark eyes brooding. Brionney knew he was worried.

  “I should have asked,” Brionney said.

  Jesse shook his head. “He should have told you. Imagine, letting you go home as worried as you were. I think it’s about time we got a new doctor.”

  Dr. Fairfax didn’t give any sign of hearing their conversation. He rubbed the jelly around with the flat edge of the ultrasound wand that was connected to the monitor by a thin cord. “Uh-huh,” he said after a few moments. “Oh, I see.”

  “What is it?” Brionney glanced from the monitor to the doctor’s face, then back again. She stared at the image on the screen. When she had been pregnant with Rosalie, her doctor had taken a lot of time to explain the ultrasound, and the picture didn’t look the same as it had then.

  “I see what’s going on,” the doctor said. “You’re going to have twins.”

  The relief and shock hit at the same time. Brionney felt her eyes widen. She looked at Jesse. “We’re finally having them.”

  Dr. Fairfax looked puzzled. “You expected this?”

  “No,” Brionney said at the same time Jesse said, “Sort of.”

  “They’re boys, aren’t they,” Brionney said. It wasn’t a question. She already knew that they would have Camille’s brown, blue-tinged eyes and dark-brown hair.

  “Yes,” the doctor said after a minute. “By the look of the placenta, there’s a high probability that they’re identical twins, and I can see that the one over here on the left is a boy. The other is turned so I can’t see, but if they’re identical, he’ll be a boy too. There he goes. He turned. See?”

  “They’re not in the same sac, are they?” Brionney asked anxiously.

  “No. I can see the division pretty clearly.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief. “Do you deliver twins?”

  “Of course.”

  Brionney looked at Jesse, and he nodded. “We want you to be our doctor, then,” she said. “We want to know what’s going on, with nothing hidden.”

  “All right,” said Dr. Fairfax. He wiped most of the jelly off Brionney’s belly, gave her a cloth to clean it better, and retreated to the far side of the small room.

  Jesse helped her sit up. His face could hardly contain his happiness. “I can’t believe it,” he muttered.

  Neither could Brionney, yet they were going to have their twins. How or why was not important. The Lord had been so good to them.

  Another thought forced its way abruptly into Brionney’s mind. “Why now? I didn’t think I could handle even one more right now.”

  Jesse fell silent. She could feel his eyes boring into her. “Are you sorry?”

  She paused for a long time before answering. “No, but I am glad you’re doing all the diapers for the first two weeks. You’d better clear your schedule. You’re going to be awfully busy.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Karissa had never been so happy. There weren’t enough words in all the languag
es in the world to describe the sentiment in her heart. She couldn’t wait to tell Malcolm. Too bad there wasn’t a phone in the examination room.

  “I admit I was a little worried,” Dr. Taylor said. “I wondered if the problem wasn’t that you weren’t getting pregnant, but that your body wasn’t maintaining the pregnancies.”

  “You thought I might be miscarrying each month?” Karissa shivered.

  “Well, not every month, but something like that.” He glanced down at the chart, and the fluorescent lights reflected off his bald head. “But your hormone levels are right where they should be. I can’t tell you why, but everything seems to be proceeding normally. I’ll want your regular doctor to keep a close eye on you, but I don’t anticipate any more problems.”

  “Thank you,” Karissa said.

  He shrugged. “Don’t thank me. I didn’t do anything. Except for the fertility pills.”

  Karissa laughed. “Maybe it was me. I quit smoking, you know. Let’s see, it’s the second week of July, so it’s been over three months now. Plus, I’ve had no coffee, tea, or any medication at all. And I’ve been eating right.”

  “You sound like one of those Mormons, or something,” Dr. Taylor said with a smile.

  “Or something,” Karissa agreed. “Maybe they know what they’re talking about after all.”

  “From what I hear, they are a very strange group.”

  For some reason, the comment rankled her. What do I care? she thought.

  “Regardless, I’m going to keep your experience in mind and recommend a better diet to some of my other fertility patients. It’ll be interesting to see what happens.” He set his papers down, and his eyes met hers. “Now, don’t worry about how much weight you gain, as long as you’re eating a healthy diet.”

  “That’s easy for you to say. You’re thin as a rail.”

  He grimaced. “I forget to eat,” he said, sounding apologetic. From that Karissa perceived that his work had taken precedence in his life. She glanced at her watch.

  “How about lunch and coffee?” she asked. “Or juice, since I’m not having any caffeine.”

  He nodded. “Thank you, I think I will. I’ve an hour before my next appointment.”

  She stopped by her office to call Malcolm on his cellular phone, but there was no response. “That’s strange. He carries it with him everywhere.”

  “Maybe he’s in the shower,” Dr. Taylor suggested.

  On the way to the hospital cafeteria, they met Damon Wolfe. Karissa hadn’t seen him since they had finished their presentation of Jesse’s new programs to the board last April. They had talked several times on the phone in the past months, but any problems that had arisen hadn’t really been worth his notice. “There you are,” he said. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

  “I didn’t know you were here, Damon. It’s good to see you.” Karissa shook his hand warmly. She’d missed seeing him over the past few months.

  “I’ve just flown in today to see how my favorite hospital is doing.”

  “You’re checking up on me?” Karissa teased.

  “No, but I’ve been hearing some interesting news.” Damon’s sharp amber brown eyes searched hers, missing nothing. “Is it true?”

  Karissa laughed. “Oh, yes! Can you believe it? I’m finally going to have a baby! I was going to tell you, of course, but I wanted to make sure everything was going all right before I told everybody. I haven’t even told my own parents or let Malcolm tell his. He’s chomping at the bit to do so. But until Dr. Taylor here gave me the okay . . . You have met Dr. Taylor, haven’t you?” They hadn’t met, and Karissa made the introductions. “We’re going down for something to eat. Want to join us?”

  “Sure, I was headed there myself since I couldn’t find you.” Damon’s narrow face glanced at her stomach, as if expecting to see signs of the baby already. “So does this mean I’m going to have to find a new administrator?” His fingers twisted the ends of his blonde mustache.

  “I haven’t thought that far ahead,” Karissa said.

  “Well, let me know.” Damon shook his head again and gave her a smile that did not reach his eyes. “And here I always thought I’d get you to leave Malcolm for me,” he said jokingly. “Especially now that we’ve both quit smoking.” There was something in his voice that didn’t match the joviality he was trying to portray. Karissa suddenly understood that her pregnancy bothered him. Now that her dream had come true, would she have to worry about keeping her job?

  “Not while you still have your moustache,” she countered lightly. “But congratulations about stopping smoking. I wish I could get Malcolm to quit.”

  They arrived at the cafeteria and Damon motioned for her to go in front of him. “I stopped smoking because of my doctor’s orders.”

  Karissa glanced at Dr. Taylor. “Are all you doctors against smoking?”

  “Not all of us,” he answered dryly. “The profession in general makes big bucks from smokers.”

  “That’s sad,” Karissa said.

  “Not as sad as you not liking my moustache,” Damon returned. Karissa laughed.

  Halfway through their meal, Karissa excused herself to call Malcolm again. There was still no response. She was tempted to call Brionney at the house to see if she had heard from him, but she didn’t want to wake her or the two youngest girls from their naps. Since finding out about the twins, Brionney had been ordered to take things very easy, and that meant a lot of sleep and downtime. Besides, if she talked to Brionney, she’d probably blurt out the doctor’s findings, and she wanted Malcolm to be next to hear the great news.

  When she returned to the table, Damon and Dr. Taylor were in a tense discussion. Both smiled briefly at her and plunged once more into the conversation “The men are far too authoritarian,” Dr. Taylor said.

  “Why?” Damon replied. “Because they teach that the women should stay at home to raise their children? Because they believe that a man should carry the burden of earning a living and taking responsibility for his family? I think they have a very valid point. You’ve read the studies. Children are better off when a parent is at home with them, be it mother or father. And generally, if there is a choice to be made, I think a mother is a better, gentler choice, especially since men still tend to make a better wage, unjustified as that may be.”

  “I do agree with those studies,” Dr. Taylor said, “but I think the ideal is far from realistic.”

  “Agreed, but it is a better situation.”

  “For the children,” Dr. Taylor conceded. “But what about the mother? Why don’t we ask Karissa how she feels about it?”

  “Yeah, she’s Mormon, even if she’s not active. She can tell us how the women feel about staying home.”

  Dr. Taylor colored slightly and his smooth forehead wrinkled. “You’re a Mormon?”

  Karissa nodded. “How on earth did you get to talking about this?”

  Dr. Taylor’s bare head nodded toward Damon. “Two young men came knocking on his door.”

  Damon’s moustache twitched. “My son let them in a few months ago when I wasn’t home. I let them come back because he was curious. With me present, of course. I was worried about brainwashing.” He had the good grace to look embarrassed. “I find them interesting. A religion, definitely not a cult.”

  “Of course they’re not a cult,” Karissa said. “But some of them are overbearing, just like in any organization. Take my father, for instance. He—” She broke off, but the two men regarded her intently.

  “What about your father?” Damon prompted.

  “Never mind.” Karissa dismissed her father with a wave of her hand. Suddenly, she had a headache. “Can we talk about something else?”

  Damon stared at her for a moment, as if trying to wrench the information from her telepathically, then nodded slowly. He turned to Dr. Taylor. “You’re a family man, aren’t you?”

  Dr. Taylor darted a glance in Karissa’s direction before replying, “Yes, my wife and I have three children.”
>
  “Who watches them?”

  “Why, my wife does. I—” Dr. Taylor nodded. “Oh, I see,” he said. “Well, as a doctor I can afford to—”

  “That’s just it. All men have the right to be able to support their families. One could argue that if more women—no offense, Karissa—if more women stayed home, more men would have good jobs available so they could support their families.”

  “That sounds rather chauvinistic,” Dr. Taylor said. Karissa had to agree.

  “I’m not saying I believe it,” Damon countered. “I’m just putting it out for discussion.”

  “Well, I’ve got to get back to work,” Karissa put in. She wasn’t up to listening to their solutions to the world’s problems. Even so, the discussion had opened a Pandora’s box inside her own head—but one she would deal with later. Right now, her work seemed unimportant in the face of finally having a child.

  “You’ve hardly touched your food,” Damon protested. He reached out a hand to touch her arm but pulled back before actually making contact. He looked at his hand as if wondering who it belonged to.

  Karissa clapped him on the shoulder. “Thanks, but I’m not hungry.”

  “That will soon change,” Dr. Taylor said with a grin.

  “Don’t I know it. My friend Brionney spends most of her time in the kitchen.”

  “With twins on the way, I wouldn’t wonder,” Damon said. “That reminds me, would you have Jesse call me? I’ve got some ideas for a partnership I want to run by him.”

  Karissa made her escape but felt their eyes following her as she left. Why did she suddenly feel so uncomfortable around Damon? He’d always been one of her best friends in Alaska.

  For the rest of the afternoon she immersed herself in paperwork, marveling again at how much easier Jesse’s programs made her job. Of course, she’d been the one who decided they needed new programs, and Damon had been her principal support, even when others on the board had questioned the expense.

  Thinking of Damon brought back the comment he’d made about her leaving Malcolm. Could he have known how close she had been to doing just that? She found it interesting that Damon had stopped smoking while Malcolm hadn’t. Both were strong, good-looking men, but obviously Damon had some inner resolve that Malcolm lacked. Why couldn’t Malcolm be stronger? Did it really matter? Malcolm was a good man, and he would be a great father.