Tomorrow and Always

by Rachel Ann Nunes

  Malcolm sat on the bed and took her in his arms. “I love you,” he whispered. Then he laughed softly. “You know, I think I’m finally beginning to understand what love really is.”

  Karissa touched the stubble on his cheek. “Me too.”

  * * * * *

  Since Karissa’s brief two-day stay in the hospital, she had been sleeping nights at Brionney’s, leaving Malcolm to the night shift with Stephanie. The Hergarters’ apartment in Anchorage was situated closer to the hospital than Malcolm’s parents, and Karissa felt comfortable with the family. Because Jesse and Damon worked so closely together in their new partnership, she worried at first about running into Damon, but he carefully avoided her.

  “So when does Stephanie go home?” Brionney asked shortly before bedtime on Friday night, a week after the surgery.

  “I’m not sure. They keep testing her to see when she’ll be able to drink milk. Hopefully tomorrow. Then it’ll probably be another week, maybe less if she continues to get better at the same rate.”

  Seven-month-old Forest sat in the middle of the room, toys surrounding him. His mouth was open, screaming, as he tried to steal the only toy his brother was interested in.

  “Forest, do you ever quit?” Brionney said with a sigh. She picked him up as the phone rang.

  “Mom, it’s for you!” Savannah called from the kitchen, where she was busy with her third-grade science project.

  “If that’s your daddy telling me he’s going to be even later—”

  “It’s not Daddy. It’s Grandma. From Utah.”

  “Would you mind?” Brionney handed Forest to Karissa.

  “Now, boys,” Karissa said, “you two have to learn to share.”

  “It’s not Gabriel’s fault,” little Rosalie protested. “It’s Forest’s.”

  “He’s ambitious, that’s what Daddy says,” added Camille, tearing her face away from her picture book about plants.

  Karissa tickled Forest, and he soon forgot about Gabriel’s toy. She had him giggling wildly when Brionney entered the room. One look at her face showed that all was not right.

  “What’s happened?” Karissa asked.

  Brionney shook her head in disbelief. “It’s my sister, Mickelle,” she said. “Her husband’s dead.”

  Karissa’s jaw dropped. “Oh, no!”

  Brionney looked at her, but her eyes glazed as if seeing something else. “Just last Sunday I talked to her. We were planning to have a big dinner at our parents’ when we got back. They’re all anxious to see the twins. One minute he was there, and then this morning . . .” She started to cry, then lowered her voice so the children couldn’t hear. “It’s just horrible! Oh, poor Mickelle!”

  “Do they have children?” asked Karissa. Still holding Forest, she awkwardly rubbed Brionney’s back with her free hand.

  “Two boys.”

  Camille and Savannah began asking tearful questions, and Rosalie too, though more from sympathy than from any remembrance she had of her uncle. Brionney’s face calmed as she began comforting her children.

  After the initial shock, the girls went back to their individual projects and Brionney met Karissa’s eyes. “It’s time for me to go home to Utah. I’ve been feeling the urge before, but now I know it’s really time. You’ll forgive me for leaving before Stephanie’s out of the hospital?”

  “Of course. She’s going to be fine.”

  “My sister needs me.”

  Karissa felt her mouth droop. “I’m going to miss you.” She put Forest down on the floor with his brother.

  “Me too.”

  The women hugged. “Thank you,” Karissa murmured. “I never did thank you for calling my parents. You did the right thing—I know that now. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

  Brionney smiled. “Or I you. I guess we’re spirit sisters.”

  “That’s it exactly.”

  They turned when the front door opened. Jesse, with Damon in tow, came into the front room. Karissa flipped back the ends of her hair nervously as Brionney ran to her husband to explain quietly about her brother-in-law’s death. He held her tightly.

  “I guess it’s time to go back to Utah,” Jesse said.

  Damon hadn’t taken his eyes off Karissa. “I’ve already sold my house,” he said quietly, “so what’s stopping us?”

  “You’re going too?” Karissa asked.

  He nodded. “There’s nothing keeping me here.” Karissa could hear the deep sadness in his voice. “Besides, Jesse and I are on the path to becoming very rich.”

  “Or in your case, richer,” Jesse added.

  Damon’s mouth formed a tight smile, but his eyes remained sorrowful. “I may not be lucky in love, but I know how to make money.” He tore his glance away from Karissa and focused on Brionney. “Did you talk to that girl in France yet?”

  Brionney nodded. “Yes, I did. And she’s excited to come. She’s flying in tomorrow night.” When she saw Karissa’s puzzled look, she explained. “The French family my brother married into has some close friends who have a daughter named Rebekka. We became friends while I stayed in France one summer when she was just a kid. We’ve kept in touch. She’s twenty-four now. She’s served a mission, completed a double major in French and English, and works at the American Embassy, but she’s feeling a little trapped in France. She asked if she could come and visit to sort things out. When Damon mentioned he’d be losing his nanny when we go to Provo, I thought Rebekka might be willing to fill in for a while. It would help them both until she decides what to do with her life. It shouldn’t be too hard for her once she’s out of France. Heaven knows she’s had no end of men wanting to go out with her. She’s really beautiful, and nice besides.”

  Karissa glanced at Damon. He was in his late thirties. Perhaps something would grow between him and this Rebekka, despite their age difference. By the light in Brionney’s eyes, Karissa knew that was what her friend hoped, and Karissa cared for Damon enough to hope for it, too. He was certainly ready for a relationship—one Karissa couldn’t give him.

  “Good, I’m glad that’s settled.” Damon’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll talk to my connections about some plane tickets.”

  “My father has found some houses for us to look at,” Brionney said. “He knows what we want.”

  A commotion in the kitchen called Jesse and Brionney’s attention. Karissa shifted nervously when Damon’s eyes riveted on her when they were alone.

  “You’ll like Utah,” Karissa said.

  “I hope so, because I can’t stay here.”

  “Why?” She was almost afraid to ask.

  “You and Malcolm need a chance,” he said, shaking his head slowly. “And I don’t know if I could leave you alone if I stayed.”

  She nodded, not trusting her voice to respond. She noticed that Damon had started a new moustache, and she was glad. That seemed to signal his healing and acceptance of her relationship with Malcolm.

  Damon sighed. “Have a good life, Karissa. If you ever need me, call.” With those last words, he went out into the night.

  “Where’d Damon go?” Brionney asked, coming from the kitchen.

  Karissa shrugged. “Home to his children, I guess.”

  Brionney eyed her strangely. “Are you okay, Karissa?”

  “I was just worrying about Damon.”

  Brionney put an arm around her. “He’ll be fine. We’ll make sure of that.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  The next Monday, when Stephanie was thirty-five days old, the doctors allowed her to nurse for the first time since her surgery. The baby remembered how with very little prompting, and Karissa’s patient, tedious pumping suddenly became worth all the effort. Subsequent tests showed that Stephanie’s newly arranged intestines worked as well as any new baby’s.

  Two days later, they took Stephanie home. She’d already gained a pound on her mother’s milk. For baby Steph that meant completely regaining her birth weight. It didn’t seem like much when compared
to how small Stephanie was, but to Karissa it was a miracle.

  As Stephanie slept peacefully and painlessly in her own crib that evening, Karissa and Malcolm watched the sunset from their front porch. In the fading light, the fluffy white clouds turned pink like cotton candy.

  “It seems too cold for May,” Karissa said, rubbing her arms.

  “It does this sometimes,” Malcolm replied, his breath billowing in the cool air. “We can move, if you want.”

  “What?” His suggestion took her by surprise.

  “I realize you’re not happy here.”

  “But you are.”

  “I want to be with you.”

  She smiled, recalling how confined she’d felt in Anchorage, and how she’d longed for the isolation of her home on Kodiak. “Finish your movie,” she said, “and we’ll see what happens.”

  “Damon sent me a check.”

  “What on earth for?”

  “He says he wants to invest in the film.”

  Karissa laughed, feeling gratitude toward her friend. Apparently, he did want her life to work out with Malcolm. “Then it’s a success for sure. Everything he touches turns to gold.”

  “You think I should accept it?”

  “Yes. I do. He’s been a good friend.”

  “Okay. I’ll send him a receipt.”

  A comfortable silence fell over them. Then Malcolm took her in his arms. “Will you marry me, Karissa? I mean, in the temple.”

  Until he said it, Karissa didn’t know that was what she’d been waiting for. “Yes, I will,” she said.

  The wind blew darker clouds overhead, and it began to rain. Karissa found she didn’t mind. The constant rain seemed to wash her clean like an ongoing baptism.

  Later, they had hot chocolate in the living room, where the picture of Jesus with the crown of thorns looked down on the room. His expression wasn’t at all the way she remembered it when Delinda had first given her the picture. His dark eyes weren’t sad and full of recrimination, but hopeful and confident that she would find her way.

  At that moment, she could not imagine being happier.

  * * * * *

  In November, when Stephanie turned eight months old, Karissa and Malcolm traveled to Washington, where they were sealed in the same temple in which her parents had been married. Her whole family was there, along with most of Malcolm’s, as they celebrated the event everyone had prayed for. Jesse and Brionney also attended the session.

  Stephanie giggled as she was sealed to her parents, as if knowing she had helped bring it all about. She showed no signs of her ordeal, other than the fading scar on her stomach. The scar would always be there as a reminder, but a good one—one that proved how much the Lord loved her and her family.

  When they arrived back on Kodiak Island, the land was blanketed in a lush, six-inch carpet of pure white snow, reminding Karissa of her temple experience. The brilliance of the snow hurt her eyes, and was broken only by the blue ocean going on forever until it curved out of sight.

  Even after years on the island, this beauty was unlike any Karissa had experienced. The surrounding snow-capped mountains reminded her of ice cream cones dipped in a hard, pure white vanilla coating, waiting for her to take a bite, cracking the shell and tasting the hidden treat below. They were pristine, untouched, glorious.

  “I’m about finished with the film,” Malcolm said, hefting their luggage at the airport. “Do you want to move?”

  “No. I want to stay.” She laughed, knowing it was true. Somehow, in an unguarded moment, Kodiak Island had captured her soul. How could she ever have felt confined here? She had grown to love this land more than she’d ever thought possible. No wonder Malcolm had wanted to return. Only on this incredible island could she have been healed. Here they would raise Stephanie, as well as any other children they might be allowed to have.

  She kissed Malcolm, loving the way he looked at her. There was nothing keeping them apart now, no differing values or deep, dark secrets. The truth had set them free.

  “Come on,” she said, leading the way to her Nissan. “Let’s go home.”

  If you enjoyed this novel, please follow Damon’s story in This Time Forever. For your convenience, a sample chapter of the novel begins on the next page. You can also read about Savvy Hergarter in Chasing Yesterday (the third novel in the Huntington Family series). A list of all books by Rachel Ann Nunes can be found in the About the Author section after the sample chapter.

  THE END

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  Chapter One

  Sometimes Mickelle Hansen wished she had never married. Eternity was a long time to spend with someone she often didn’t like very much. Of course, she didn’t tell anyone her deepest thought; in fact, only recently had she begun to admit it to herself, and then only on days like this, when everything—absolutely everything—seemed to go wrong. Feeling this way about her marriage went against all she had ever been taught, and against all her dreams. Deep down, she loved Riley, but when she’d exchanged vows with him, she’d never expected their life together to be so difficult.

  She stared at the pile of dirty laundry filling a corner of the unfinished basement where the washer and dryer stood like mismatched sentinels, witnesses to her newest dilemma. For two weeks the washing machine had refused to work, and she’d been cleaning the most necessary items in the bathtub. Her neighbor, who had already fixed the washer twice as a favor, had told her this time that it wasn’t worth fixing again. “You need a new one,” he had declared, shaking his graying head.

  She’d hoped Riley would do something about finding a machine, but wasn’t surprised when he didn’t. Instead, his solution was for her to go to the Laundromat. Indefinitely.

  Dutifully, Mickelle piled clothes in several large baskets and took them to the ancient Ford station wagon that gleamed a dull gold in her driveway. Secretly she called it the Snail, but she never said it aloud the way she once would have. It was too real to joke about.

  Outside, the late April weather was warm and filled with sunshine. A beautiful, perfect day. There were a few clouds to the east that would probably bring showers that night or the next day, but Mickelle didn’t mind the rain. Her peas, planted early last month, needed the moisture.

  She drove to the Laundromat in downtown American Fork near her home. While the place wasn’t overly dirty, there was a certain air of despair about it. She could have endured that, as she had so many other things, but she balked when she considered the cost of washing her family’s clothes each week. They only had two children, but Riley was a large man, wide if not tall, and the dirty clothes he generated took up half the space in each load. Then there were Jeremy’s sheets, still wet several nights of the week. In the long run, buying a machine would save time and money. She’d suggested as much to Riley last week, but his mind was made up.

  Moving past the dryers, she caught sight of a faint reflection in the glass. A slender woman with smooth, honey-blond hair, blue eyes, and a pinched face stared back at her. Could that weary-looking woman really be her? Rebellion surged inside her heart. Why did Riley have to be so stubborn?

  She left the Laundromat and took the clothes instead to her older sister’s house in Provo, feeling like an idiot and glad that her two sons were in school and couldn’t witness the lies or half-truths she might be forced to tell.

  “Mickelle! What happened?” Talia looked with surprise at the laundry Mickelle carried. “My washing machine broke again. This time for good. I was going to the Laundromat but couldn’t bear the thought of hanging out there. Do you mind terribly if I use yours? I brought soap.”

  “Of course you can!” Talia took the basket out of her hands. “You shouldn’t have even thought about going to the Laundromat. What are sisters for? You can use my machine—and my soap, for that matter—whenever you want.”

  “Well, it’s only for today. I’m sure Riley will get me a new one soon.” Mickelle nearly choked on the lie, but Talia didn’t seem to notice. “I’d better get the rest.�
��

  She headed back to the car, wishing she could toss off the sadness that seemed to eat at her heart. Why couldn’t she face her trials with a better outlook? Why was she so weak?

  Inside the house, she found Talia sorting the laundry into piles with her quick hands. Mickelle joined her, feeling her burden lighten.

  “You know,” Talia said casually, “last night I saw some ads in the paper for washing machines. I haven’t thrown it out yet. Want to look?” At Mickelle’s nod, she disappeared from the laundry room.

  Mickelle finished the sorting, put in a load of whites, and started the machine. The room had ample space for the appliances, as well as an extra refrigerator and a long counter which held seven large baskets—one for each member of the family. She knew even Talia’s six-year-old folded and put away her own clothing. Mickelle thought she might try something similar at her own house. Riley, of course, wouldn’t have the time or inclination to do his, but the boys would. A pity she didn’t have a nice room like this. Mickelle stopped the thought there, unwilling to let envy enter her heart. Talia was a wonderful person, and Mickelle was glad that she and Joe could afford such a nice house.

  “Here they are.” Talia came into the room with the same newspaper Mickelle had noticed at the Laundromat. “At Sears. Look at this—only three hundred dollars, and it’s a super capacity. A bare-bones model, but still super capacity. You’ll need that for Jeremy’s sheets. Looks like a good deal to me.”

  “A lot cheaper than going to the Laundromat forever,” Mickelle agreed.

  Talia threw back her blond head and laughed. “You’re so funny. What a waste—who would do that? Besides, you deserve a new machine. Aren’t you still using the old one Mom gave you when you got married?”

  Mickelle smiled weakly. “You know me, frugal to a fault.”

  “Come on, let’s go have a snack while we’re waiting for the clothes.”

  “Maybe I should zip down to Sears and see about a machine.”

  “Why don’t you let Riley worry about that?”