by Tamara White
Three hours later, I’m severely regretting coming to this party.
Justin has introduced me to all of his friends, but they are definitely not the type of people I would expect him to socialize with. They’re all crude and every one seemed to feel the need to make a remark about how tight my skinny jeans are. And the more Justin drank, the more he changed, becoming just as crude as the rest of them.
I had poured out the beer he gave me, choosing to drink soda instead just in case. Needing space, I excuse myself to go get a refill even though I don’t need one. Then when I come back, he immediately pulls me into his lap, nuzzling into my neck.
“Justin, please stop.” I try to get up, but he stops me from moving with the tight grip he has on my waist.
“Aw, come on, Val. Don’t go. I like it when you’re with me,” he slurs, and I push back harshly. I don’t like being manhandled and the way he’s acting is so unlike the guy I’ve come to know.
I face him as his friends watch on in amusement. “I’m leaving. Call me when you sober up.” Then I walk away, not once looking back. I thought he might have been better than the guys I’m usually attracted to, but I guess not.
Nat always used to say I drew in the wrong guys. They were always nice at first, but it never lasted more than a couple months before they changed.
I look back, thinking he might have followed me to apologize, anything to show me he really is the nice guy I’ve been getting to know. But what I see instead is a beautiful, blond-haired girl draped herself over his lap where he still sits in the fold-out lawn chair. To my surprise, he does nothing to move her.
I shake my head and make my way around the side of the house, wondering what to do now. The sun has set not long ago, and even though the community is supposedly crime-free, who knows what kind of animals might roam the streets in a community built alongside a forest.
I pull my phone from my pocket, thankful I brought it with me, and scroll through the names on the screen. Jaxson will understand my need to get away so I decide to call him, hoping he might also be willing to take me to the garden again.
The phone rings twice before picking up, but to my surprise, it’s not Jaxson on the other end. “Valerie? Are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah. Where’s Jaxson?” I ask, unsure why Cooper would be answering Jax’s phone.
“He’s out. Do you need something?”
“Oh, um. I was just going to see if he could come and grab me from Justin’s place, but it’s alright. I’m just being stupid.”
“I’ll be there in ten.” He hangs up the phone before I can respond. I sigh as I tuck my phone back in my pocket, unable to help the relief I feel.
I start walking away from the house, wanting to get as far as I can from the party with its loud music. Eventually, I decide just to wait under a street light on the far end of the block. As I stand there, I hear noises that make me aware of just how exposed I am out on the street, but it’s better than being around Justin right now.
Nearby a twig snaps, echoing through the night. I whirl around and think I see someone standing just past the tree line. Butt the longer I stare, the more I’m convinced I must have just imagined it. For a moment, I could have sworn it was my mother. But then I shake my head to ward off that crazy thought.
After fifteen minutes, I start to worry that I may have to walk home. I’m just about to start moving when a pair of headlights illuminate the street. The car pulls up beside me and Cooper’s voice echoes out into the night. “Hello, little lady. You need a ride?”
Then he gets out of the car and walks around, opening the door for me while I just shake my head with silent laughter. I get in and when he’s back in the driver’s seat, he grins over at me. “So, where to? Your personal driver awaits your instructions,” he says with mock seriousness.
“Okay, stop it. You’re weirding me out.”
He smirks. “Sorry. Just trying to lighten the mood. I’m not as funny as Carter, though.” He focuses on the road and heading in the direction of home. “Do you mind if we stop off at the store on the way? I promised the others I would buy stuff for the barbecue.”
“Sure.” Damn, if I had known I would get the chance to stop at the store I would have brought cash with me. As it is, my wallet is still in my bag, which I left behind earlier. “Could I ask a huge favor?”
He glances over at me as we pull into the parking lot of the grocery store. I was worried it might be closed, but the lights are still on, so it’s obviously still open for business.
“Sure, what do you need?”
“My cash is still in my bag but I want to grab a few things for my place. I’ll happily pay you back when we get back to the house, if that’s okay?”
Cooper rolls his eyes. “Of course that’s okay. It’s not exactly like I’m struggling financially. You should have told us you needed stuff, though. We would have brought you here sooner.”
I blush as I sit there, waiting for him to come around and open my door. I don’t like asking for help. I wouldn’t have even said anything if I couldn’t immediately pay him back.
Once inside, Cooper and I grab a cart, and begin walking up and down the aisles one by one. We joke back an forth as Cooper tells me about his brothers. Again I hear how Zane is definitely not the person you want cooking your food. “Seriously, Val. I know you think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. He really is that bad.”
I laugh when he visibly shudders. First his mom, now Cooper. He really must be bad. “Okay, got it. Don’t accept any cooking help from Zane.”
I reach up and grab a jar of instant coffee from the shelf in front of me. I don’t know if I’ll need it, but I plan to sleep in tomorrow.
“What about you, Coop? What are you good, or really bad, at? You keep talking about your brothers, but I don’t know much about you.” It was something I noticed as we were walking. He keeps talking about his brothers, but I want to get to know him too.
He shrugs his shoulders, then grabs a pack of burger buns from a rack. He places them in the cart before turning away. “There’s not much to tell, I guess. I like to keep to myself.”
“Come on, you can tell me anything. Tell me something you haven’t told anyone else,” I coax as we make our way up to the checkout counter, the cart filled with a variety of items for the barbecue and for my new place.
He stays silent as he pays for the groceries and I begin to wonder if he’s not going to say anything at all. He remains quiet as we load the groceries into the car. Finally on the drive home, I turn to face him with a sigh. “Sorry, you don’t have to say anything. I’m sorry I asked.”
He glances over at me. “I wasn’t ignoring you, Val. I was just thinking. There’s not much I don’t tell my brothers. To find something I haven’t already told them is hard.”
Oh. Crap. Now I feel like a fool for thinking he was just ignoring me. It’s not until we arrive back at the house that he speaks again. “Okay, I think I have something, but it’s pretty deep so I want something in exchange.”
I cock my head, finding myself intrigued. “What do you want in return?” I ask as I get out of the car. He hands me a couple of paper bags and we bring them into the pool house, having decided to keep everything there to make things easier tomorrow.
“I want the same thing you’re asking me. Something you’ve never told anyone.”
The bags almost slip from my grasp so I quickly place them on the small kitchenette counter. Then I walk over to the little sofa in the room. There’s only one secret I can think of that I’ve never told anyone, not even Natalie.
“Okay, you have a deal. You tell me first, though. I don’t want to give up my one secret if you end up backing out.” I smile over at him weakly.
He finishes putting the groceries away before coming to sit down. I huddle in the corner of the sofa, wrapping my arms around a cushion for comfort.
Cooper rubs a nervous hand through his soft brown hair. His hazel eyes are focused on a spot on the rug in front of us,
seeming unwilling to meet my gaze. Finally he sighs and slaps his hands on his legs, seeming determined. “None of this leaves here, yeah? My brothers would kill me if they found out what I’m about to tell you.”
I nod, waiting patiently. After a moment, he sighs and meets my eyes. “When I was nineteen, I ran away. I didn’t want to stay here, to be stuck in this confined community. My brothers seemed to love it here, but I wanted freedom. I wanted to meet new people and explore a world I’d never seen before. I was only gone for two weeks before I came back, though. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy the outside world; I enjoyed it too much. But without my brothers, it just didn’t feel right. So I came back. I told them I had just gone camping. They still don’t know I left them.”
I nod, understanding his reasoning. From what I’ve seen, all the families in this community seem believe this is the only place for them. But Cooper had the chance to discover the same thing I had; you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone.
Tears well in my eyes and Cooper’s jaw drops in surprise. “Valerie? Shit, what’d I say?” He moves closer, letting me rest my head against his shoulder.
“When I was sixteen, I was in a car accident. I almost didn’t survive it. I found out later I died for a minute when I was in surgery. What no one knows, though, is that the accident caused some irreparable damage. The doctors told me, after I came out of my coma, that I would never be able to have children.”
The tears continue to fall. To this day, I still don’t understand why it hurts so much. I never even wanted children before the accident. But I guess knowing I can’t have them makes me wish I still had that option.
“Shit. That sucks, Valerie. I’m so sorry.”
After that, we just sit together for a while in silence, but it’s a comfortable one. I close my eyes as I lean against Cooper’s chest and feel myself relaxing. I’ll just stay here for a minute longer and then I’ll go to bed. Yes, that sounds good.
Eighteen
The car careens along the wet road and I see the tree coming up to meet my side. I know what’s coming next. The moment that changes my life forever.
Screams fill the room and I panic, kicking at the covers on top of me. No, I’m not in hospital again! No!
Hazel eyes come into view and a pair of arms hold me down gently. “Shhh, Valerie. It's me, Cooper. It’s okay. You’re okay,” he soothes. My heart still races and the events of the night before slowly come back to me.
It was just a nightmare.
Cooper watches as I start to calm down. He tries to move away, but I grip him by the shirt. “Don’t go,” I beg. I really don’t want to be alone right now. To fall into the pit of despair again would ruin everything.
He nods and reaches up, removing my hands gently. “Okay. Val, I’ll stay.” Then he pulls off his cargo pants, revealing boxers with little lightning bolts on them. He keeps his shirt on, though, and then climbs into bed with me.
Now that I think about it, I don’t even remember coming to bed. That’s when I notice I’m still in the same clothes as last night. “Did you bring me to bed?” I ask in confusion. Maybe I sleepwalked?
He adjusts himself to get comfortable, using the spare pillow to prop up his head. Meeting my gaze, he says, “Yeah. You crashed and I brought you back here. I thought everything was fine, but you must have had a nightmare, because the moment I let go of you, you started screaming.”
“Oh, sorry. I was dreaming I was back in the car. I saw the accident happen again, but this time it was in slow motion. The moment my body jolted from the impact, blood began pouring from my stomach where the tree branch had gone through me.”
“Shit! You remember all that?” He sounds horrified.
I shrug, and roll away to look at the blank ceiling. “It’s not that I remember it exactly. After they told me what happened, I started having nightmares about the accident. I don’t know if it went down like that, but I imagine it’s close enough.”
Flinging the cover off me, I get out of bed. Then I head over to my bag on the floor and begin digging through it. I’ll unpack eventually, but I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. “I’m just going to get changed out of these clothes,” I tell him, before walking into the adjoining bathroom.
Maybe with Cooper sleeping over, I can actually get sleep. It seemed to work with the girls. Whenever one of them slept over, I would have a dreamless sleep. Here’s hoping it works with Cooper as well.
After changing quickly, I walk back out in my pajamas and Cooper chuckles. “Ah, what are those?” he asks with a massive grin.
I look down at the short shorts and tank top I’m wearing. They’re a matching pale blue set with little dogs on them. Well, three headed dogs. Growing up, I had a fascination with the mythological dog Cerberus. For my birthday one year, Natalie had these specially made for me. She ordered seven sets — one for every day of the week. They aren’t all blue, though. She was thoughtful, and ordered them in a variety of colors. I love them so much, and it doesn’t hurt that they are unbelievably comfy.
“They were a gift from my best friend. Have a problem with that?” I ask, a hint of challenge in my voice. He drops the subject with a shake of his head, but his grin remains, even as I climb under the covers.
Cooper reaches over and turns off the lamp on his side of the bed, which sends the room plunging into darkness. A little moonlight leaks in through the window, but it’s not enough to see anything other than an outline of Cooper.
I move around to get comfortable, reaching my hand under my pillow where it brushes against Cooper’s. He runs his finger over the palm of my hand and I find myself relaxing. I thought for sure it would be awkward being in bed together. I’ve never slept in the same bed with a guy before, unless we’d just had sex. But this is actually really nice. “Thank you for staying.”
I feel him shift closer and his lips press against my cheek. “You’re welcome, Valerie. Get some sleep,” he whispers.
I close my eyes, feeling much calmer than I was at the start of the night. I still don’t know what to do about Justin, though. I don’t like that he changed so much with just a few drinks. What will that mean for any future outings?
I sigh softly, shutting off all thoughts of Justin and focusing solely on Cooper’s touch. I roll over and wiggle back so my back is pressed against him. He takes the hint and wraps an arm around my waist, caressing my breast with his hand as he gets comfortable. My heartbeat speeds up at his touch, before gradually returning to normal as I drift off to sleep.
I blink my eyes a few times, trying to wake up, but I’m utterly exhausted. I try to roll over onto my back only to find an arm holding me in place. That’s when the events of last night trickle in. Cooper stayed with me to stop the nightmares. That’s probably why my body is still so desperate for sleep. It had its first uninterrupted rest in over six months.
“Cooper?” I whisper, unsure whether he’s awake.
“Hmmm?” he murmurs, pulling me firmly against him. I’m debating what to do when he lets me go, lifting himself up over and looking down with a smile. “I take it you slept well?” he asks.
I push him away and he laughs. When I roll over, I see his hazel eyes filled with laughter. “I thought you might have still been asleep. I didn’t want to wake you.”
He smiles warmly at me, and reaches out a hand to caress my cheek. “You don’t have to worry about waking me. I’m just grateful you trusted me enough to help you get a good night’s rest.”
His touch sends sparks through me, which only serves to remind me that I shouldn’t be feeling this way about him. “Thank you for staying with me,” I say, before quickly rolling out of bed. I need some space before I do something I will regret.
I make my way around the bed and head towards the bathroom, hoping to splash some water on my face to help wake me up. But I haven’t made it two steps before I feel Cooper grab my hand and tug me backwards. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed and his action sends me straight into his lap. His
eyes meet mine and my heart skips a beat with how close we are — I could count each of the golden flecks in his eyes if I wanted.
He reaches a hand up and grabs hold of my loose hair, pulling me closer. “I’ve wanted to do this since the first time I saw you.”
I’m about to ask what he means, but before I get a chance, his lips meet mine. His kiss sends all thoughts out the window and I kiss him back, pushing him down on the bed, his hand still wrapped in my hair. He uses it to maneuver me where he wants. After a moment, he breaks the kiss to move his lips along my jaw, then slowly down my neck. My body heats up with need and I know I will give him whatever he wants in this moment.
A banging noise registers in my mind and before I can process what it is, I hear the sound of voices. I quickly clamber off Cooper’s lap, mere seconds before Jaxson walks in through the door. Before any of them can think too much of the sight of me in their brother’s lap, I bolt into the bathroom. I slam the door shut behind me and then sink to the floor.
Holy shit. That did not just happen! What the hell is wrong with me? First, I let Zane kiss me, and now Cooper? Fuck! I’m screwing everything up!
I’ve kissed two of my stepbrothers. Well, technically they kissed me, but how the hell did I let it happen? Whenever they got close, it was like my brain refused to think things through logically.
A knock on the bathroom door has me wishing the floor would just swallow me up. Jaxson calls through the door. “Valerie? Justin is outside asking to speak to you.”
I sigh and let my head hit the door with a resounding thump. “Ugh, okay. I’ll be out in a second.”
I get to my feet and run my hands through my hair, hoping to make it appear more ‘I just woke up’ than ‘someone was kissing me as if I was the only person in the world.'
The sound of conversation comes from outside the bedroom and voices start to rise. I know I have to go out there, but I’d much rather stay hidden away. With a sigh, I adjust my pajamas as best I can, then I hold my head high, acting as if I did nothing wrong.
