by Tamara White
I open my mouth, but then close it again, not sure how to articulate what I want to say. My mind is going a mile a minute trying to figure out what to ask when Carter reaches out, placing a finger over my lips to stop me from speaking. "Look, you don't have to decide or say anything right now. We just wanted to be upfront about the situation because obviously things have changed and you deserve to know how we operate. Now, let's lay down, throw a movie on and just relax. You can ask all the questions you want another day after you’ve had time to process."
I nod my head and lay down, watching the guys organize themselves. Jaxson lays down on one side of me and Cooper claims the other, leaving the second mattress for Zane and Cooper.
My mind races, struggling with a multitude of things and wondering how on earth to process it all. First thing tomorrow, I’m calling Sally and Jess.
Twenty
A hand brushes the hair away from my face and I look up into the stranger’s eyes. "Who are you?" I ask, breathless from running. He’s always here, watching over me. I feel like I know him, but no matter how hard I try to learn more, he never gives me anything more than advice.
"Don't worry, Valerie. I'll be there at the right time. You just have to be patient, love."
"Why? Why do I feel this way? I don't even know you!" I exclaim, my frustration overwhelming me.
He smiles wickedly and pulls me close. "I know, love. But soon, you will."
I groan as I roll over. Why do these dreams keep happening?
Ever since the car accident, I've been dreaming about this mystery guy who comes in out of nowhere and sweeps me off my feet. Our first kiss happened when I turned eighteen. I had been depressed because my father hadn't shown up for my birthday. But that night, when I went to sleep, I dreamed of a man who had set up a room and decorated it for me, complete with a giant red-velvet cake on a table in the middle. He made the roof disappear and we had lain on a bed of warm blankets and talked about anything and everything. He listened to me as I told him about the day I’d had and made me feel better about the whole situation. While we lay there and watched the stars, the man in my dreams made me feel complete for the first time in what felt like forever.
My therapist thought maybe he was just a figment of my mind I had developed to help deal with the stress in my life. We worked through a lot of strategies to get rid of him, but no matter how hard we tried, he continued to appear in my dreams at least once a week.
I still don’t even have a name for him. Every time I ask, he quickly changes the subject or distracts me. It feels wrong to just give him a name; it’s like I’m waiting for him to find the right time to tell me.
"Valerie?" Jax murmurs my name, pulling me from my thoughts. I look around, trying to figure out what happened. At first, the bed appears empty, but then I notice Jax sitting at the end, already fully dressed. He gets up and moves to crouch down on my side of the bed.
“Hey, beautiful.” He smiles down at me, before reaching out to stroke my cheek affectionately.
"What's going on?" I ask, completely confused. The last thing I remember was falling asleep with his arm wrapped around me and Carter facing me, a soft smile on his face.
"We’re leaving to give you some space. Carter mentioned that he thought you should call your friends. He thought you might like some space after the revelations of last night. But before I left, I wanted to let you know we’re here if you need us, or want to talk. I’m not leaving you after what we did. Just giving you the space you need to think.”
I nod and he smiles down at me softly. Then he places a kiss on my head before leaving. The door closes behind him and I leap to my feet, the full extent of the conversation from last night coming back to me. "Holy shit," I whisper under my breath. That was all real. That wasn't part of some messed up dream. Holy shit, I had sex with Jaxson! And the guys apparently all want to be with me?!
I run into my room, grabbing my phone from the nightstand. I scroll through my contacts and call Sally, knowing with it being a Sunday, Jess is probably with her.
As the phone rings, I pace around the room, my heart racing. Finally Sally answers, sounding sleepy. “Hey, Val. What's wrong?" she asks on a yawn.
"I need to talk to you guys. I have no idea what to do."
I hear Sally move and a moment later, Jess' loud voice comes through the phone. "Oh, now you call us? You've been happy just to text us all week, but you’ll call now that you need us? At six in the fucking morning on a Sunday?!" she screeches.
I quickly pull the phone away from my ear, but do some with a smile. I missed hearing her voice. Both her and Sally. We may not have been as close as Nat and I were, but we were still good friends.
She continues to rant for a good two minutes before I get the chance to speak again. Then I quickly spill the details that I know will capture her full attention. "My stepbrothers want to have a relationship with me."
The phone goes dead silent, but I know she heard every word I said. “Uh, Jess?" I wait for her to say something, but all I hear is breathing on the other end of the phone. Then the two of them start murmuring to each other. I can’t make out much, but I swear I can hear Sally whispering, "Her guardians? Already?"
I frown, not sure I heard her correctly. Maybe she said brothers? That would make much more sense.
“Yo, Val? You still there?" Jess' voice comes through the phone loud and clear. "I put us on speaker so we can both talk to you," she explains.
I hear movement on their end, the sound of someone getting comfortable, before Sally’s voice comes through, sounding just as clear. “Hey, Valerie. I hear you need some advice?" she says with a chuckle.
"Uh, yes please." Then I proceed to tell them about the events of the past few days.
I told them about the kiss with Zane, which while unexpected, was very much reciprocated. Then the sudden kiss with Cooper, which almost led to sex; if we hadn't been interrupted, it most likely would have. I even told them about the shower sex with Jax. That was the hardest thing to explain. I can’t even begin to describe the connection I have with each of the guys, and I don’t want them to think I just let my stepbrothers into my pants because they are convenient.
They listen to everything and at the end, I am met with silence. I wait a good two minutes before I can’t take it anymore. "So? What do you think?"
Jess laughs through the phone, as if she was waiting for my outburst. Finally, she calms enough to speak clearly. "I say go for it. You only live once, Val. Worst case scenario? You guys break up and still have to see each other every day."
"Jeez, thanks, Jess. That makes me feel loads better,” I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes in annoyance. “What do you think, Sally?" I ask, hoping for more in-depth reasoning from her.
She sighs through the phone and I have a feeling I might not like what she’s about to say. I listen anyway, hoping it will help me make a decision.
"I don't know, Valerie. It seems very complicated.” She sighs heavily. “First, you'd be dating brothers who live with you. You would have to be super aware of each of their needs to keep the relationships functioning well. For example, you couldn't ignore one for a week in favor of another without hurting someone’s feelings. Then you also have to think about the long term implications. What happens if you fall in love with only one of them? Meanwhile, what if all of them fall in love with you? You could end up breaking three of their hearts and potentially ruining a bond between brothers, who are obviously close from the way you talk about them."
I sigh, feeling a pit form in my stomach. I know she is being logical, but my heart is having trouble accepting her words.
"And what happens if she falls in love with all four of them, Sally? Did you ever think about that? Val has never been in a relationship longer than six months because all of the guys she’s dated have been douchebags. What if she is fated to be with more than one guy? It could be destiny that she ended up living with four men who want to date her." She pauses and I feel a sudden pressure build
ing in my head, like my body is trying to tell me something. But then it dissipates and she laughs. "Or the world just wants her to get laid.” At this point, she’s laughing so hard she snorts.
"Thanks. I’m glad my struggle amuses you." Even so, I smile, and the pressure in my head goes back to a dull throb.
"Valerie, you need to listen to your heart on this one. While most of what Jess said is rubbish, she's right about something. What if you learned to love all four of them? Is that something you would be interested in? My honest advice would be to let things play out. Keep going the way you have been, ask questions along the way so you know what's expected of you and just let life happen. If it's not meant to be, you'll feel it. And if you end up falling for all of them, then problem solved."
I relax and stop pacing, going to sit down on the edge of my bed.
"You're right. I just need to let things happen naturally. I don’t know where this will lead me, but I don’t want to live with any regrets or what ifs.” I sigh in relief and feel a weight lift from my shoulders. “Thanks, girls."
Sally chuckles. "You're welcome. And now that we finally have you on the phone, do you want to know what we found out?"
"Found out?" I ask, feeling slightly confused before Nat's face pops into my mind. Shit, I’m a horrible person for not even asking about her. I let myself get distracted from finding out what happened to her.
"Guys, I’m so sorry. I forgot about Natalie. Fuck, I’m a horrible friend," I admit with tears in my eyes. How could I forget someone who was so important to me?
Jess's voice softens. "Val, it's okay to live your life and be happy. You didn't forget about her, you just had other things going on. She would understand that."
"She would hate for you to brood over her, so I think you're doing exactly what she’d want," Sally adds, which makes me feel slightly better about things.
“Thanks, girls. It still feels weird without her by my side. I think the guys just help distract me, so I don't notice her absence as much. But then there are times when I laugh and want to tell her something and the realization that I can’t crashes into me." I take a deep breath. "Anyway, what did you find?"
There's some murmuring on the other end before I hear Sally speak, taking control of the conversation. "Well, we think your mom had something to do with Natalie’s death."
My heart stops. “My mom?” I repeat, not sure I heard her correctly.
“Yeah, Val. That’s what she said.”
My mind goes into overdrive, thinking she must be wrong because my mom wouldn't do that. Would she? What possible reason could she have for being involved with Nat's murder?
"What do you mean? Like she covered it up or something?" I ask, hoping that this is just a misunderstanding of some kind. Maybe Mom actually covered up Nat’s death to protect me? Or maybe Nat didn’t die at all and my mom just made it look like she did for some reason? There has to be some kind of explanation.
"No, like… I think she may have been the one to kill Natalie. I think she used your blackouts to her advantage and covered you in fake blood to make people think you did it. I also think she remembered our project and used the exact same formula we did."
I’m so shocked I can’t think of anything to say, so Sally keeps going. "Jess managed to connive her way into your house and we found all kinds of weird stuff in the basement, including the ingredients needed to make the fake blood.
“While we were there, she seemed to have lost her grip on reality, talking to people who weren’t there and cleaning nonexistent spots on the floor. We went to the cops about what we found, but they didn’t believe us. Then we called your father but he told us to leave it alone, saying he would look into it. We debated whether or not we should tell you, but figured you'd want to know."
“Uh huh, " I murmur, feeling numb. This is the evidence Dad had? Why didn’t he say anything?
“Okay, girls, I think I should go. Thank you for telling me," I say in a monotone voice.
My mom might have been involved with killing my best friend and my dad knew but didn't tell me.
I hang up despite their pleas for me not to. Then I head outside, not caring that I’m still in my pajamas. My heart is broken and I feel betrayed by my father.
When I walk outside, water drops onto my exposed skin, and I hear a crack of thunder. I look up at the darkened sky, my tears mixing with the rain that’s hammering down. I should feel cold but I just feel… empty.
Why would my mother do that, though? Could she have killed Nat, or did she only plant the fake blood, and either way, why would she do such a thing? None of this is making sense to me. Am I really such a horrible daughter that my mother would do this to me? What could have possibly motivated her to do those things?
Tears fall down my cheeks as I make my way down the driveway, feeling the need to walk while I try and make sense of this. Maybe if I move, answers will come to me.
The pain of the gravel under my feet helps me keep my grip onto reality. I keep going, with absolutely no destination in mind, just the feeling that I have to move. After a minute, I start to jog. I pick up speed until I’m going at a full run down the long driveway, still unsure where I’m going.
Thoughts swirl through my mind and I resolve to finally figure out exactly what happened to my best friend. No one will stop me from discovering the truth.
I stop in the middle of the road, sobbing as my grief hits me full force. I’m so angry the world put me in this position that I look up to the sky and start screaming out my rage. Then, to my great shock, a bolt of lightning hits the ground a few feet away. My mouth snaps shut and I just stand there for a moment, shocked by the closeness of the strike. Then a car careens around the corner and speeds down the wet road, heading straight for me.
I blink in horror, unable to move, frozen with fear as a flashback hits me of being on the inside of a careening car moments before a horrible accident.
Then someone tackles me, sending us both rolling into the small ditch on the side of the road, narrowly avoiding the car. The vehicle regains control a moment later, then speeds off again. What a fucking douche for not stopping!
I'm laying on the ground with the stranger hovering over me. That’s when the pain starts to register. My body is running overtime as I try to process the near miss, but my heart stops completely when the person above me leans back, giving me a view of his face.
The soft stubble along his jaw, his delicious pink lips and bright green eyes make me gasp in shock. "You!"
He climbs up to his feet, pulling me with him. Holding my shoulders gently, he looks down at me with a frown. "Hold still, love."
Then he runs his hands down my arms, over my hips, then down my legs, making me extremely aware I’m only wearing my pajamas. A warm feeling rushes to all the spots his hands touched, and in no time, the pain just disappears. I look down at the scratches on my body and gasp as I see them healing before my eyes. How the hell is that possible?
Rising, he reaches up to push the wet hair from my face. "You need to stay safe, love. It's lucky I was here or you would have been roadkill.” Then he frowns down at me, the slight anger in his voice making his accent more pronounced.
"Who are you? Why have I seen you in my dreams? Am I dreaming right now?" I ask the questions back to back and his frown turns into a wicked smirk. He pulls me close to him and leans down to whisper in my ear. "Hold on, love. This is going to be a little weird."
Then the world shifts around me and my ears start to ring. I close my eyes to block out the sight of everything spinning. When we still a moment later, he whispers against my cheek. "Come on, love. Open those beautiful eyes for me."
I squint open one eye, not sure what to expect. But then my eyes fly open in shock. We're no longer in the ditch on the side of the road. We’re in the bathroom of the pool house. How the hell did he bring us back to the pool house?
"What just happened?' I ask, worried that I've well and truly lost my mind at this point.
&nb
sp; "Don't worry, love. It will all make sense soon. I just didn’t want you out in the rain for much longer. You might have gotten sick and that's the last thing I want."
He sets me down on the bathroom counter and then steps into the shower, turning it. Then he comes back out, water glistening on his tattooed arms.
I watch the way he moves, each step filled with power, just like in my dreams. He’s wearing jeans and a tank, looking if he just finished working out at the gym. One thing I note is that his clothes, unlike mine, appear untouched by the rain.
None of this is making any sense. Am I dreaming? Am I dying right now in a ditch on the side of the road? Is that what’s going on? I’m having one last dream while I’m in a coma.
I reach up and pinch my arm, but nothing happens; I’m still here.
The man walks towards me, smiling wickedly. "Don't worry, love. I’m not a figment of your imagination. I’m really here.” He moves to stand between my legs, his face getting increasingly closer. “Why don’t I prove it?” he suggests, and before I have a chance to ask how, his lips meet mine in a fire-filled kiss. I used to think he was a good kisser simply because he was a figment of my imagination, but this is no dream. I feel moisture begin to pool between my legs and he pulls back with a cocky grin.
“Who are you?" I ask, hoping he'll explain.
“Oh, where are my manners? I'm Hades.” Then he winks at me, causing me to go slack jawed.
I decide to play along, though, thinking he must be messing with me. "Hades? As in, ‘God of the Underworld’ Hades?"
“Don't worry, I’ll explain it all another day. For now, I just want you to get in the shower and warm yourself up." He looks down at his watch and frowns. "I have to get going, love, but please look after yourself. I can’t watch over you all the time.” He leans over and gives me a kiss. Then he disappears before my eyes, leaving me to wonder what on earth just happened.
