Secrets After Dark

by Sadie Matthews

  ‘Yes, certainly.’ Dominic gets up, his face impassive. I can tell he’s making himself move slowly and with complete control. I’m tingling all over as he walks towards me. ‘Does that sound all right to you, Beth?’

  I nod. I can’t speak. As he gets closer to me, it’s as though the breath is being sucked from my body.

  ‘Look after her, won’t you?’ says Dubrovski. ‘I’ll see you in the guest sitting room in thirty minutes.’

  Out in the corridor, Dominic doesn’t look at me, simply mutters ‘Wait’ under his breath. There are monks walking along the corridor, he obviously doesn’t want us observed. We go along the passageway, and now I feel like I’m floating, the joy of being beside him is so great. With every moment that passes, I realise more fully that I’m actually with Dominic, and that my world has transformed in the space of a few moments.

  I have dozens of questions I want to ask him, but I’m speechless. Then he stops abruptly outside another door, knocks and opens it. The small sitting room within is completely empty.

  He turns to me, his eyes burning, and takes my hand. He pulls me through the doorway, slamming the door shut behind us, and the next instant his mouth is on mine and we are devouring one another. He kisses me with a kind of desperate hunger, as though he can’t get enough of me, his strong arms wrapping around me and pulling me to him. Oh God, the touch and smell and taste of him. It’s miraculous, divine... I’m dizzy but enjoying the extraordinary flourish of fireworks going off inside me. This kiss might be the best of my life – the reliving of something I feared I would never have again. I put my hands to his head, burying my fingers in his thick dark hair, revelling in the sensation of touching him again. He is running his hands over my back, along my arms, as if he cannot really believe I’m really here, wrapped in his embrace.

  We kiss endlessly, the passion between us growing almost unbearable with every moment our mouths are locked together as we taste one another. Then he pulls away, and looks down at me. I can see the desire glowing in his eyes as he says breathlessly, ‘Beth, what are you doing here? What the hell are you doing with Dubrovski?’

  ‘It’s lovely to see you too,’ I retort, but smiling.

  ‘Of course, of course, it’s wonderful to see you – but...’ he looks at me, astonished, as though he’s still trying to believe the evidence of his own eyes. ‘...I just can’t get over that you’re here!’

  ‘It’s just as Dubrovski said,’ I reply, unable to take my gaze away from his mouth, which I already miss desperately. ‘I’m working for Mark Palliser. He brought me along with him to evaluate the painting the monks have found.’

  Dominic looks troubled.

  ‘What is it? Aren’t you happy to see me?’

  ‘Beth, I told you, it’s wonderful. I’m overjoyed to see you,’ he says in a hoarse voice. ‘Can’t you tell?’

  I can feel his desire pressing against me and I’m overcome with longing to release him and feel him inside me again. The yearning is so strong, I gasp, my lips parting.

  ‘Don’t look at me like that,’ he says. ‘You’ll make me lose control.’

  ‘So lose it,’ I whisper.

  ‘I can’t,’ he says, his voice strained. ‘God, what you’re doing to me...’

  ‘I’ve missed you so much.’

  ‘I’ve missed you too.’

  I stare at him accusingly, remembering how much I’ve suffered because of him. ‘Then why, Dominic? Why did you leave me for so long? Have you any idea of how awful it’s been, not knowing where you are or what’s happening? Not a word, in six weeks!’

  He drops his gaze from me for the first time. ‘It’s complicated,’ he murmurs, then looks back at me with sincerity radiating from his face. ‘But you’ve got to believe that I’ve been thinking about you all the time. I promise. I’ve missed you so much.’

  ‘That’s kind of hard to believe,’ I say, my voice full of barely contained anger, ‘when you haven’t been in touch even once.’

  He holds my hands tightly. ‘I’ve been working. Andrei’s had me in the back of beyond, working on this deal. I’ve been shut away from the world in various places since I left London.’

  ‘With no email? No phone?’ I can’t help sounding sceptical.

  ‘Like I said... it’s complicated.’ He drops his eyes again.

  ‘You’re lucky I’m even talking to you!’

  ‘I know I am. Believe me, Beth, I’ve suffered too. And I really have been sorting my head out. That takes time.’

  I teeter on the brink of real anger with him and then relent. I can’t pretend it isn’t wonderful to see him, and I don’t want to spoil it. ‘We’ll talk about it later,’ I say, reluctant to lose the beauty of our reunion. I want to enjoy the purity of our pleasure in seeing each other again, and the giddy torrent of desire. ‘We don’t know how long we’ve got together.’

  He pulls me to him again and says huskily, ‘My God, it’s going to be torment to have to let you go.’

  ‘We’re staying here tonight,’ I say quickly.

  ‘Really?’ His eyes brighten. ‘Anna and I are here too.’

  ‘Will we be able to meet?’

  ‘I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a good idea if anyone realises we’re involved. It will only create difficulties and I don’t want you put in an awkward position with Mark, or Andrei. So we should be extremely discreet.’ He bends his neck and presses his cheek against mine, nuzzling against me and I can feel the soft roughness of his stubble against my skin. My heart starts to race again as his scent fills my nostrils. His mouth begins to move to mine, showering tiny, burning kisses over my cheek. ‘But... I’ll see what I can do.’

  I draw in a trembling breath as his arms wrap round me, his hands stroking my back and my hair. His mouth falls on mine again and I open my lips to his probing tongue. Our ravenous passion is a little slower and more tender now, as we begin to kiss more deeply, taking our time, enjoying the deep burn of desire that’s kindling between us. I slide my hands under his jacket, feeling the warmth of his skin through the cotton of his shirt. He presses his body tight against me, and I feel again the hardness at his groin. Heat spins in my belly and radiates down to where my sex is swelling with excitement at his nearness. I haven’t felt anything like this for so long, my body responds with rapture and desperate need, as though it’s been asleep for the weeks that Dominic has been away from me and has now sprung into vibrant, shivering life. I feel as though I can’t get enough of him, exploring his mouth, relishing his taste, wanting him to be a part of me.

  Our desire is growing uncontrollable. What are we going to do? How will we stop? We’re both breathless. Dominic’s hands are all over me, becoming more questing, stronger. He is about to start pulling my shirt from my waistband, I can sense it, and I don’t want to stop him. I’m desperate to feel his hands on my skin, on my breasts...

  We both hear it and simultaneously pull apart, gazing at each other, panicked. The door is opening. We have a second or two before whoever it is comes in, and it is just enough time to put space between us although we both look dazed, rumpled and guilty. I turn to see who it is and, to my relief, it is Mark who is walking through the door. He is reading a printout, frowning as he concentrates on what is written there. When he looks up, Dominic and I have had enough time to recover some of our equilibrium.

  ‘Ah, Beth,’ Mark says. ‘I wondered where you’d got to. Oh, hello, Dominic, how nice to see you again, I didn’t know you were here.’ He looks from me to Dominic. ‘Have you two been introduced?’

  I nod and Dominic says breezily, ‘Yes, we’re just getting to know each other a little better. How are you, Mark?’

  ‘Oh, very well, very well.’ He frowns again and looks over at me. ‘I’ve had a good look at the painting, and done some quick research. I’ll need to do more, of course. I’d like to take some photos of the painting and complete my work back at home.’

  ‘I thought it looks very promising,’ I venture.

  ‘O
h yes, it’s certainly a very good candidate to be a Fra Angelico. But I need to consider when it could have been painted and why it’s remained hidden for so long. I certainly need to talk to the abbot about exactly how it was found.’

  Dominic, looking completely cool and collected – and still sending hot waves of lust through me, despite Mark’s presence – says, ‘But Andrei will want a decision more quickly than that.’

  ‘It’s my professional reputation,’ Mark replies soberly. ‘I can’t risk that. He’ll understand.’ He looks about. ‘Wasn’t there a rumour of some coffee around here? Or did I dream it?’

  The rest of the day is a kind of sweet agony. It’s both wonderful and torturous to be in Dominic’s presence again. I can’t take my eyes off him unless I remember that we are supposed to be virtual strangers. I know that Dominic doesn’t want anyone to guess that we’re involved, so I do my best to remember that we have to act our parts but I’m not very good at it. All I can hope is that no one is really paying much attention to me.

  We drink coffee in the sitting room. Anna joins us after a few minutes, talking easily to Mark. I should be paying attention but I can’t concentrate on anything but Dominic, and obsessing over how or when we might be together. When a brother arrives to show Mark and me to the rooms where we will sleep, Dominic manages to get close enough to murmur ‘Trust me’ and give me a heart-breaking smile.

  I have to force myself to walk out of the room, leaving him behind me.

  My room is a bare, white-painted cell with a small barred window high up in the wall. There is a bed, a chair and a desk and a washbasin, and a shared bathroom is next door. It is simple and just as monastic as might be expected. I’m left alone to rest and dress for dinner. As soon as I’m by myself, I throw myself on the bed, my fists clenched, almost shaking with the pent-up excitement and happiness I’ve experienced this afternoon.

  Thank God we came to Croatia! I hadn’t wanted to come all that much – imagine if I’d stayed behind and then found out afterwards that Dominic was here. It would have killed me.

  But... what is he doing here? It’s odd that he and Anna should be here, isn’t it? What do they have to do with the painting? But then again, who knows how Dubrovski’s mind works? I can imagine he’s perfectly capable of making people fly across the world because he wants to see them for twenty minutes.

  I think of how on earth Dominic and I are going to meet later. I won’t be able to stand it if we can’t, I won’t be able to sleep knowing that he is so close to me. But there’s nothing I can do about it now – and I want to concentrate on looking my best at dinner. Thank goodness I brought a dress, something silky and easy to pack, just in case of a formal occasion.

  I spend the hour before dinner getting ready. When I look in the mirror, I can see that my old sparkle is most definitely back. My eyes are glittering with expectation and there’s a flush on my cheeks. In fact, I’m glowing.

  I can’t wait for dinner to be over, so Dominic and I can be alone.

  We are entertained in the private room, with the abbot our host once again. Dubrovski is not quite as impatient as he was earlier. Now he waits for the long grace to finish before beginning to eat. The one disconcerting thing is that all the way through the prayer, he is staring at me. The others have politely bowed their heads or closed their eyes – Anna, glamorous in a black sleeveless shift dress that shows off flawless brown arms, appears deep in prayer herself – but Dubrovski’s blue gaze is fixed on me.

  What is it? Do I look wrong? Have I put on too much make-up? I dab discreetly at my lips in case I’ve gone overboard with the lipstick, but that doesn’t stop him looking at me.

  When the meal begins, the conversation starts to flow. Anna seems so sophisticated as she talks effortlessly to the abbot and then to Mark, fluent, amusing and knowledgeable. I wonder what her relationship is to Dubrovski. She seems very intimate with him, smiling at him flirtatiously, calling him darling and occasionally reaching out to put a perfectly manicured hand on his sleeve when she is making a point, but he barely responds to her. I don’t understand how he can be so little affected by such a beautiful woman flirting with him. Perhaps he’s used to it. I’m just glad her attention is on Dubrovski and not on Dominic who is sitting on the other side of her. I have the abbot and Mark next to me, so I’m definitely not on the sexy side of the table, but at least I get to look at Dominic, although I have to be careful not to focus exclusively on him, as Dubrovski is still landing his piercing gaze on me from time to time.

  ‘So, Mark – this painting,’ Dubrovski says suddenly, cutting through Anna’s words. ‘What are your thoughts?’

  ‘I’ll need to do some more research, Andrei,’ Mark says, ‘but I’m in high hopes about it. From my examinations, the brushwork, the paint, and everything else is as it should be if it were going to prove a genuine find. But I’ll need to know more about it before I can say for sure.’

  Dubrovski frowns and sighs impatiently. ‘How long?’

  ‘I can’t say. I’ll make it my top priority, obviously.’

  Everyone is quiet as Dubrovski drops his fork to his plate and sits back, his expression stony. He stares at Mark and then says in an ominously quiet voice: ‘I’m going to buy it.’

  ‘Andrei, is that wise—’ Mark begins.

  ‘Yes. That is my final word. I believe it is genuine, and I want it.’

  The abbot begins to smile. ‘That is wonderful news, sir, wonderful—’

  Dubrovski interrupts again. ‘Mark, see to the negotiations and the details, will you? Now, if you’ll excuse me –’ he gets up, flinging his napkin onto his plate ‘– I still have work to do. We’ll be returning early, as soon as this is settled.’ He fixes his gaze on me again, letting it linger for a moment that seems to stretch on. I have the unsettling feeling that he knows precisely what I am thinking and the roller coaster of arousal and tantalising waiting I’ve been on today. Perhaps he even knows that right now I’m tingling all over with anticipation of what might happen later.

  Then he turns and heads for the door. As soon as he is gone, the atmosphere lightens, except where Mark is concerned. He looks worried.

  ‘I don’t like this,’ he mutters, almost to himself, ‘I don’t like it at all.’

  He doesn’t linger long after dinner, but also excuses himself, telling the abbot that he will make his offer for the painting in the morning. That leaves Dominic, Anna and me remaining at the table with the abbot. I’m impatient for Anna to depart as the others have, so that Dominic and I can go somewhere together, but she shows no sign of wanting to make herself scarce. I can’t bear sitting there, so close to Dominic but unable to touch him, and after a while I get to my feet.

  ‘I think I’ll turn in too,’ I say lightly, looking as meaningfully as I can at Dominic. ‘I’m tired. Goodnight.’

  ‘Goodnight,’ Anna says cheerfully, almost as though she’s glad I’m going. ‘Sleep well.’

  ‘Goodnight,’ Dominic says a little too loudly. ‘See you in the morning.’

  I walk back to my little cell, wondering how long it will be before Dominic arrives. I try to read but I can’t keep my mind on my book. I don’t undress but lie on my bed, observing the hands on my watch moving round. Time moves excruciatingly slowly. What can be keeping him so long? Surely he must have made his excuses by now!

  But he doesn’t come. When two hours have passed and it is almost one o’clock in the morning, I realise with bitter disappointment that he isn’t coming at all. Hot tears of anger and disappointment sting my eyes, but I brush them away. I’m not shedding more tears over Dominic letting me down. I change into a nightdress, clean my face and teeth, and climb into bed. Despite my agitation, I’m exhausted and fall into a sleep within minutes.

  I’m roused by the sound of a gentle tapping on my door. Instantly I snap wide awake. Is it him?

  I scramble out of bed and go to my door. There is a small sliding panel in it, and I push it back so that I can look out into the cor
ridor. Outside there is a hooded figure, the face shrouded in shadow.

  ‘Dominic?’

  The whisper comes back: ‘Open the door.’

  Who else can it be? I pull back the iron bolt and open the door. Immediately I know it isn’t Dominic – this person is far too short. I gasp and go to close the door again, but the figure slides a foot between it and the jamb.

  ‘Don’t be afraid,’ it whispers. ‘I’ve come to take you to Dominic.’

  I pause, wondering if I trust this stranger.

  ‘Come.’

  I take a deep breath and step out into the corridor.

  ‘Follow me.’ The man beckons me onwards and sets off at a swift pace down the corridor. The lights have all been dimmed and we walk along in an eerie shadowy twilight, our footsteps quieter than I would have expected, as though everything has been muffled by the darkness. We seem to walk for a long time, turning now and then until I have no sense of where we have come from. This is like a labyrinth. I wish suddenly that I had left a little trail of stones or unfurled some thread, so that I could find my way back if I’m left alone.

  Then, we stop. The hooded figure puts his hand on the door handle and says in a strong accent, ‘I will be back later to collect you.’ Then he pushes the door open and I step inside. The room beyond is in total darkness and I’m unable to see anything at all after the murky light of the corridor.

  ‘Dominic? Are you there?’ A shot of fear rushes through me at the sudden thought that perhaps this is some of awful trap. I’m in utter darkness in a strange place in a foreign country – isn’t that the stuff of horror films and nightmares? I’m overcome by a nasty sensation of panic, and immediately put out my hands and begin flailing in the darkness, desperate to feel something, anything, to anchor myself in the real world. The terror grows larger, it seems to loom out of the blackness to possess me and I gasp.

  Then warm hands hold mine and a voice says, ‘Beth.’