Las Vegas Sidewinders: Toli & Tessa (Book 6)

by Kat Mizera

  “A choice in what?” Tessa asked.

  “Finding success as a doctor in Russia isn’t easy,” Tatiana said slowly. “Most doctors make about $12,000 a year—and I didn’t spend all those years in school to do that.”

  Tessa frowned. “So…?”

  “So I did things I shouldn’t have done,” she said softly. Her eyes met Tessa’s sadly. “I was forced to make affiliations that were distasteful.”

  “With the MGB?”

  Tatiana shrugged. “With crooked government officials. With men that were horrible human beings. And I refused to be the kind of woman who cheated—so I either broke up with Toli or did things to annoy him so he would leave.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell him what was going on?”

  Tatiana smiled. “Don’t you know your husband, Tessa? Don’t you know how honorable and good he is? He would never have allowed me to do the things I did, and although I adored his protectiveness, I knew deep down that we were not meant to be. We met when I was 14 and he was 16. It was sweet, romantic young love. Teenage love. Didn’t you have boyfriends at that age?”

  Tessa nodded.

  “And could you imagine being married to any of them now?”

  Tessa paused, startled, and then shook her head. “No, I guess not.”

  “When Toli left for the U.S. he was 18 and we’d been together two years. I was still in high school, and very unhappy that he was going off to the U.S. to play in the NHL. I already suspected that we weren’t compatible, but I was a teenager and not going to let go so easily. So I told him if he went, we were through. Of course he went and that season, during which he turned 19 and I turned 17, Anton was conceived. He brought Anton to Russia the following summer, along with Debbie since Anton wasn’t even a year old, and I was furiously jealous—the way only a teenage girl can be. We got back together and made a plan: I would become the best, most successful doctor I could be, and he would play hockey. He would make money now—meaning then—and I would support us when he couldn’t play anymore. He was gone nine months out of the year, and I was immersed in my studies. We went along that way for nearly a decade, Tessa. Seriously, a decade of only being together sporadically. And when he was gone, I did what I had to do to fulfill my end of the bargain. He was making a lot of money and he helped me pay for all my extras at school so that I could succeed, and I thought I was doing the right thing by affiliating myself with people who would help us when he retired and came home.”

  She paused, glancing at Anastasia, who was frowning as she tried to follow the conversation. “I’ll translate later if you need me to,” Tatiana said to her in Russian, and Anastasia nodded.

  “When he and Sergei came back, after their friend’s death, Sergei was just 24 and newly married to a woman who hated everything about Russia. He and I became close—nothing ever happened back then—because he had no one else to talk to. Toli followed a year later and was miserable about being back here instead of in the NHL, and Sergei was still broken up over the loss of his friend. I was struggling with my own things because I’d had to make a decision I’ll always regret…” She sighed heavily, looking away. “I slept with a high-ranking government official—it was my choice, but only because he essentially told me if I wanted to continue on the path I was on this was mandatory. I felt like unless I did something drastic, I would never be able to compete with Toli financially, so I did it. That meant I’d technically cheated on him and I was beside myself with guilt. I didn’t know what to do, so I called Sergei and he was the one who came and got me the next morning. I was standing outside this man’s high-rise apartment building looking like a girl who’d been taken advantage of. I still had on makeup from the night before, my hair was a rat’s nest, my face red from crying…and Sergei got it out of me, the whole story.

  “He encouraged me to come clean with Toli, but I couldn’t, and he respected that. That was when I got truly close to Sergei. And I swear to you on my child, it wasn’t anything sexual or romantic back then. He was the only person who knew my secret and the only person I thought I could count on. In retrospect, I understand that I should have gone to Toli, but Toli is…” she frowned thoughtfully. “Toli, in many ways, is out of my league.”

  Tessa’s mouth fell open. “Out of your league?”

  Tatiana smiled sadly. “You think I’m beautiful, yes? Tall and blond and stereotypical Russian, and a doctor to boot.” She snorted. “I’m so bland without makeup it’s embarrassing. I got where I am in my career by stealing the medical records of bad men and screwing fat, old politicians and lying to my wonderful, trusting boyfriend about it. I sold my soul to the devil, knowing that Toli would never approve, and would never love me if he found out. I thought it was a worthwhile risk to secure our future, but frankly, there was so much pressure with Toli to be perfect—successful, beautiful, tolerant of his career and long absences, available for all his public events…it was exhausting. This was in addition to the pressure from my father, who wanted me to be better than everyone. But it was never that way with Sergei. He would come over and we would watch American DVDs so my English would get better. Whenever I had to make appearances with stodgy old politicians, he would go whenever he could, so he could watch out for me from a distance.

  “Meanwhile, Toli was getting restless, anxious to go back to the U.S. and I realized I wanted him to go. Not only was I not in love with him anymore, I was worried about him. He wasn’t playing as well here and he was unhappy. Our sex life was miserable, we fought all the time and every time I turned down a marriage proposal I would drown in guilt. My own affiliations were getting more and more dangerous, and more frequent, and finally Sergei put his foot down. He took out all of his savings—his 401K from when he played in the U.S. and everything he’d saved. I found out that while he’d been letting everyone think he was partying and living a grand life, he was sleeping on the couch in an apartment with two other players and putting aside every dime. He saved up almost 10 million U.S. dollars and told me to pay them off. Give them back the money for everything they’d done for me, every favor, every unauthorized medical report—and walk away. I didn’t think they’d let me, but when I told them I was done they told me my payout was eight million.

  “A week later I was free—and I looked into Sergei’s bright blue eyes and knew I’d been in love with him for a long time. I’m not proud of the things I did, but I was young and stupid and then I had no choice because I was afraid. Sergei saved me from that, and I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone. I don’t know why you think I want Toli back, Tessa, but I don’t. Although Toli and I were together on and off for 18 years, I fell so deeply in love with Sergei I knew it was time to break things off with Toli for good.”

  “You were cheating with Sergei for how long?” Anastasia demanded in Russian, scowling.

  Tatiana dropped her gaze. “Emotionally for a couple of years, but really it was Christmas 2011 that he gave me the money to pay off the men who owned me. That was the first time we slept together. I was going to tell Toli and then he announced that his agent was trying to get a deal for him in the NHL and he was leaving. He said he wanted me to come, but he was going regardless. Then Sergei got nervous, afraid he would lose his brother and he didn’t want to choose between us. So for a while I lost both of them. When I found out I was pregnant, Sergei wasn’t thrilled. He told me he’d been offered a contract in Boston and I realized this cycle was going to start all over again. I told him I didn’t need him to raise a child and we were at a stalemate. That’s when he broke down and told me about his father and the KGB. What could I do but agree to move to the U.S.? I love him, and after all he’d done for me, my career suddenly didn’t seem as important.”

  “Then why are you always so possessive around Toli?!” Tessa finally demanded in frustration.

  Tatiana smiled. “I love him. I’m not in love with him, but I do love him. We were together almost 20 years, and even though we weren’t in love that whole time, we were together
in all the important ways. We shared a home, good times, bad times…yes, we grew apart romantically but we will always have a bond. I’m sorry if that bothers you, and going forward, I’ll keep my distance if that’s what you want.”

  “What did you say to him in the hospital,” Tessa asked slowly, “that couldn’t be said in English?”

  Tatiana flushed and looked away. “It wasn’t important.”

  “You can’t tell me?!” Tessa’s eyes flashed. “After everything you just told us, you can’t tell me that?!”

  Tatiana shook her head. “You really should ask him.”

  Tessa glared in frustration but decided to let it go. If Toli refused to tell her, then she would be genuinely upset, but Tatiana didn’t owe her anything. “If nothing is going on between you, then why did he admit it to me just before he left tonight?” Tessa was still on the fence, unsure whether to believe her.

  Tatiana looked startled. “He admitted he cheated on you with me?! He lied.”

  Tessa narrowed her eyes. “He left here thinking he might die—and he lied to me? The last words he said to me were lies?”

  Tatiana blinked. “I swear to you, Tessa—on my son—I have not slept with Toli since around 2011. I think the last time we had any sexual contact other than a kiss was before Christmas in 2011. It’s been almost four years.”

  “Did you kiss him in the bathroom at the hotel the other night?”

  “No! I checked his wound and the stitches.”

  “Then why would he admit it?”

  Anastasia said something in Russian and Tatiana nodded. “What exactly did he say?” she repeated.

  Tessa thought back. “He said he made a mistake and he’s sorry, but he loves me and hopes I can forgive him.”

  Anastasia sighed as Tatiana translated for her.

  “What?” Tessa asked.

  Anastasia shook her head. “I do not know, but I do not think this apology was for cheating. I think maybe something else.”

  “Like what?”

  Before Anastasia could answer, there was the distinct click of someone testing the door handle and then inserting a key in the lock of the front door. Tatiana jumped to her feet and grabbed her purse, pulling out some sort of revolver and pointing it at the door.

  “Get ready to run!” she hissed. “Get your purses!”

  Tessa and Anastasia grabbed their bags and yanked on jackets as Tatiana edged towards the kitchen. “Onto the balcony and then we have to drop down to the floor below.”

  “I cannot…” Anastasia gasped.

  “You can!” Tatiana nudged them out the doors and Tessa could barely contain her fear as she looked down.

  “Oh my God.”

  “If you don’t do it, we’re going to die,” Tatiana said.

  “Fuck.” Tessa swung her legs over the railing, holding on with her hands.

  “Drop down so your hands are at the bottom,” Tatiana said in a rushed whisper. “Then swing your legs forward so they’re over the rail below and let go. Hurry!”

  Tessa took a deep breath as she moved her hands down one of the metal balusters. She closed her eyes, swung her legs forward and let go, landing with a thump on the Petrovs’ downstairs neighbor’s patio table. She quickly got up and reached for Anastasia’s legs, pulling her forward as she landed on top of her, immediately followed by Tatiana. The three women quickly stood up, brushed themselves off and looked around.

  “Come.” Anastasia smoothed her hair and then knocked on the kitchen door, slowly turning the knob and calling out. “Nina?”

  “Holy shit, we just walked in through their balcony,” Tessa whispered to Tatiana.

  “This is Russia—we do weird shit all the time.”

  Tessa didn’t understand the exchange between Anastasia and Nina but they were soon laughing and joking, obviously not at all traumatized at the idea that they’d come in over the balcony wall.

  “What’s going on?” Tessa whispered to Tatiana.

  “The usual—old ladies laughing about sneaking out of the house so their husbands wouldn’t know they were out. Luckily, she hasn’t asked where we’re going.”

  Tessa felt a wave of dizziness wash over her and she took a deep breath.

  “Are you all right?” Tatiana looked at her with concern.

  “I think that’s the adrenaline leaving my system,” Tessa muttered. “I’ve never jumped over a balcony before!”

  “Me either!” Tatiana gave her a girlish grin. “I’m scared to death, but someday we’re going to have a great story for our grandchildren.”

  “If we live that long.”

  “Shush.”

  “What do we do now?”

  “I just texted Sergei but we need to go before whoever’s up there figures out where we are.”

  Within a few minutes they were outfitted in black, nondescript dresses, scarves for their heads and shawls. Whatever Anastasia and Nina talked about had resulted in disguises of some sort, and both Tatiana and Tessa put their hair up in ponytails beneath the scarves. Nina handed Anastasia keys and then shooed them out of the apartment.

  “Where are we going?” Tessa asked.

  Anastasia handed Tatiana the keys. “We take Nina’s car and drive until we hear from Sergei.”

  “Shit.” They broke into a run as they exited the stairwell in the parking garage.

  Driving to the meeting point, Toli’s thoughts were racing in a hundred different directions. Worry about his son, his parents, his marriage—what on earth had Tessa been thinking, coming back like this? Part of him wanted to scream at her for being so foolish, but another loved her that much more for realizing he needed her. Regardless of what was going on with them—and he was still somewhat confused about what had happened—she’d come back because she’d known he would be inconsolable if something happened to his son. She’d put her own fears aside and gotten on some sort of secret military transport to be at his side. God, he loved her. He hated the thought that she would probably have to deal with his death.

  Death. It was the craziest thing to think about at 36. He was healthy and in the prime of his career, with a beautiful new wife and a lot to look forward to. Instead, he was driving to a meeting that would almost definitely end with him dead. He would do it if it meant saving Anton, but deep down he was afraid it was too late. The KGB had never hesitated to kill innocents in their heyday, and the MGB was undoubtedly gearing up to be the same way. If Anton was dead…no, he’d promised Tessa he wouldn’t go there. It was just so hard not to. He felt rage building inside him at the thought of Anton being killed, and he silently prayed that if they’d killed him, it had been quick and painless. He had to close his eyes at the vision of Anton being shot, dead and bleeding somewhere.

  “Stop it,” he said aloud.

  “Stop what?” Sergei asked from the floor of the backseat, where he’d snuck into their father’s car.

  Toli was so shocked he nearly slammed on the brakes. “Jesus fucking Christ, what are you doing?!” he yelled.

  “Shh!” Sergei grunted. “I’m supposed to be hiding.”

  “Dammit, Sergei, they told me to come alone.”

  “Fuck you and fuck them. You’re not going without me. The last time my brothers and I separated, one of them wound up dead. Not this time.”

  “Oh, hell, Sergei, you know what happened to Brian wasn’t your fault.”

  “Yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that if we hadn’t separated that night, there’s a better than good chance that they wouldn’t have been able to take us. Dom fights like two men, and me, Brian and Cody could hold our own. He’d still be alive, Toli, and dammit, that haunts me.”

  “Sergei, you know this is going to go bad, don’t you? You know that I’m going to have to trade myself for Anton, and the chance that they let me live is small.”

  “They want something from you and they can’t get it if you’re dead,” Sergei pointed out. “You have to remember that.”

  “I’m going to get my son out but I can�
�t live the rest of my life as some kind of spy for the fucking Russian government. That’s never going to happen, so I’m going to have to force their hand in order to protect Anton and Tessa. Otherwise, they’ll always be a threat.”

  “So this is a suicide mission?” Sergei popped up in the backseat and glared at him through the rearview mirror. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

  “What choice do I have?” Toli sighed. “I won’t work for them—fuck that—but I can’t put my kid and my wife at risk. What would you do?”

  “What I did when the woman I loved got in over her head—pay them off.”

  “What are you talking about?!” Toli glanced back at him.

  “Look, I don’t want to start anything five minutes before we both die—but you didn’t know your girlfriend of two decades at all, did you?”

  Toli scowled. “Sergei…what the fuck, man?”

  “All that time you spent in the U.S. being a big hockey star? She was here being blackmailed by the government in exchange for furthering her career. You think she got to be the surgeon she was through normal avenues? Toli, she lied, stole and slept her way to the top. How could you not suspect anything?”

  Toli felt like Sergei had punched him. A million memories came back as things clicked into place all at once. Her sudden lack of interest in sex. The success and promotions that seemed to have come out of nowhere. Her almost ridiculous reluctance to leave her job and come to the U.S., even for a visit. The slow, methodical way she’d begun to pull away from him when he’d moved back to Russia. He wanted to cry out in frustration; how had he missed all the signs? He’d been selfish, of course, so caught up in their master plan and his career that he’d never really looked or listened.