by Vicki Green
Confused and still angry, I take the empty bottle and throw it in the trash then turn the light off and walk to my office. I need help. I can’t do this alone. It’s obvious I can’t help her. Do I get in touch with her dad? Tell him that I’m sending her back to him? Should I talk to Mable? She always gives me such great advice. I look at the clock on the wall as I sit down in the chair. No, it’s one in the morning. She needs her rest right now and she’s been ill. Shit! I really need to talk to someone. Someone who will know what to do. I’m so in over my head. I boot up the computer and open my chat window, scrolling through my contacts. Thank God, Dale’s online, which is weird since he’s two hours ahead of me.
Countryman: Hey, man! What are u doin’ up so late?
LawNY: Memphis! Buddy! Oh, you know. Working my ass off. How’s it going? Long time since we’ve talked. How’s it going with the girl ur helpin’ out? Sadie?
Countryman: Man, I’ve really messed things up, Dale. I’m at a loss of what to do. I think she hates me now.
LawNY: Whoa, buddy! Take it slow and catch me up. How could anyone hate u? You’re the nicest and kindest person I know.
Countryman: Dale. I think I love her. I said some things tonight. She hates me. I feel like I made such great progress and now? I really blew it, man. I was angry and my temper got the best of me. Maybe I was jealous too. I dunno. I think I’ve lost her.
LawNY: Ok. Take a deep breath. I’m sure it was a misunderstanding, Memphis. Talk to her, patch things up. I can’t believe u actually fell in love. That’s cool. Now, go make it right. Make it up to her. If she loves you, she’ll listen. Trust me.
Countryman: Thanks, man. I know she has feelings for me but I’m not sure how deep. I’ll talk to her. She’s pretty mad at me right now. Maybe I’ll wait til mornin’.
LawNY: Ok. Might be a good idea. Let her cool off. But Memphis? Don’t wait too long.
Countryman: Thanks for talking. Hope u make ur way back here soon. Would love 2 see u
LawNY: Soon, my friend. Maybe even Thanksgivin’. Have room for us? G’nite
Countryman: Are u kiddin’? Of course! Nite
I shut off the computer and sigh. I don’t feel any better. I look up at the window in front of me when I hear an engine roar outside. I stand and peek through the blinds, the rain and darkness making it hard to see until the lights of his bike turn on. I watch as he tears out down the drive and can hear the rumble of the gravel his tires are throwin’ around. I keep watchin’ until he’s turned onto the dirt road, until I can’t see him anymore. Thank God! I feel a little relief but not much as I turn the light off and walk out of the room, taking the stairs slowly. I’m too tired to take a shower so I remove my wet clothes, leaving them on the bathroom floor in a heap, dry off and put on some clean boxers then climb into bed. I lay in what has become my normal position, my arm underneath my head and stare up at the ceiling. Everything is such a mess. I messed up by yelling at her and even worse, in front of him. What in the hell was I thinking? Problem is: I wasn’t thinking. I was angry. Even though I was disappointed that she had gone, I was angry that she let him kiss her. Did I mean nothin’ to her? God! I’m so stupid! I thought her feelin’s were deeper than they were. She obviously had me believin’ she’d changed and more importantly that she had feelin’s for me. I can’t believe I fell for it. All of it. I feel like such a fool. Sleep is not coming anytime soon.
I look over at the clock and see it’s time to get up and still I haven’t closed my eyes. My mind kept me up all night and I feel even worse than I did. I don’t even want to get outta bed. I hear the horses and cows voicing their opinions outside and drag my sorry ass outta bed and into the shower. I yawn as I get dressed, the hot shower not helpin’ and soon I’m make my way downstairs. Mac and Dallis are already sittin’ at the table eating. I nod as I pass and head into the kitchen. Hmmm, no Mable. I go back into the dining room and pull out my chair. “Where’s Mable?”
Mac looks up and frowns. “Dunno. I went ahead and cooked up some breakfast. Not sure where Sadie or Jag are either. Seems like strange things goin’ on.”
I know Jag is gone and I didn’t expect Sadie to be down here this mornin’. I’m not gonna push her but I’m more concerned about Mable. “Mable hasn’t been over at all this morning?” He shakes his head. Weird. “Well….” Both of them stop eatin’ and look at me. “I told Jag to leave last night, well, really early this mornin’.” They don’t seem surprised. In fact, they seemed relieved. “You ever see him around here, you get me. Understood?” They both nod and continue to stare. “Good. I ‘preciate it.” They go back to eating and I look at the food but I’m not hungry.
Mac looks up and gives me a sad look. “Yeah, kinda heard the ruckus last night. Figured in the beginnin’ he wouldn’t be stayin’ long. Seen the way he treated Sadie, burned my hide. It was time for him to be leavin’. You did the right thing, Memphis.”
“He might come back, cause trouble. We’ll keep an eye out. I never trusted him,” Dallis remarks between bites.
I only nod, feelin’ all kinds of good things about these guys. At least my decisions were good about them. I guess I can’t always make the right ones. Sadie. My heart is heavy when I think about her. The look on her face when I yelled at her. She looked like I had punched her instead of Jag. God, I fucked up. I need to talk to her. Explain my actions, my feelin’s. She’s not a child. She’s the most beautiful, kind, sweet, and lovin’ woman I’ve ever known. I can’t lose her. And to think, she was changing, getting back to the kind of person that she could be proud of. I was proud of her. I’m still proud of her. Do I just walk up to her room and ask to talk? Is she still so angry that she won’t want to or even listen? Shit! I’m so lost as to what to do. Okay, yes. I should go up there, fight for her. I can’t lose her. I just hope it’s not too late.
Sadie
It’s so hard to walk and carry my suitcase. My knee is burning and shooting pain through me with every step. The rain hasn’t let up, and I’m soaked again. This is gonna take forever to get to town. Maybe someone will stop and give me a ride. Who in the hell am I kidding? It’s late and there aren’t that many that probably travel this road anyway. Shit! As I walk up a small hill and reach the top, I look to my right and see another farm. The house still has lights on. That’s kinda strange. I start walking again but hear someone yelling. I must be imaging things. It has to be the rain and my exhaustion that’s playing tricks on me.
“Hey, you!”
There it is again. What the hell? I look over and see a man jogging down the drive from the house, waving a hand over his head. I turn around, like he might be talking to someone else. I must be delusional. Should I talk to him? Should I be scared?
“Hey, sorry. Don’t be nervous. I’m harmless. Really.” I nod, slightly, and walk slowly over to the opening of his drive. He’s standing there holding up an umbrella and gives me a smile. “You’ll catch your death, you’re soaking wet. Come on inside and get warm. I promise I won’t try any funny business.” I only nod again and walk through the opening. What have I got to lose? Nothing. He walks beside me, holding the umbrella over us both. Seems nice but I’m still leery. I must be crazy. “Are you lost? What in the heck are you doin’ out in the rain in the middle of the night?” I look over at him and shrug, clamping my cold and wet lips together. “Okay, I won’t ask any more questions. None of my business. But I have to tell ya, makes me really curious.”
We walk up to his house. It’s actually quite big. He opens the door and I walk inside but stop quickly. “I’m getting your floor all wet,” I whisper.
He laughs. “No worries. Let me get you somethin’ dry to change into or do you have some clothes in that suitcase?” I look down at the suitcase in my hand and then back up at him. He’s really tall. I nod. “Okay,” he chuckles. “Follow me. Here’s the bathroom, over here.” I follow him, feeling bad that I’m getting the floor wet everywhere I step. I’m amazed when we walk between two staircases to a door straight
in front of us. Who has a house this big on a farm? It’s like a plantation I would have seen in a movie. He flips on the light, and I squint with the brightness. “There’s towels under the cabinet. Help yourself. Take your time.” He smiles, and I walk in then turn my head as he shuts the door.
My body is shaking as I remove my soaked clothes. I reach down and take a couple of towels out of the cabinet and dry off. I stumble as I lay my suitcase down, fumbling with shaking fingers as I open it. After getting on a long sleeved sweatshirt and sweatpants, I towel dry my hair the best I could. I look in the mirror, not liking what I see. Light purple shades under my eyes that are red and swollen from crying. I look pale and feel the exhaustion hitting me but I feel the pain in my legs and knees more. I gather up my wet things, wrapping them in the towel and set them on the counter, unsure of what to do with them. I open the door and shyly peek out. I’m at a loss at what to do, where to go. Finally, I hear noises in another room and walk towards the sounds. His house is nice, kept picked up, but could use some dusting, some deeper cleaning. Still it’s nice all the same.
I peek around a corner and see it’s the kitchen. A huge kitchen. A sneeze shoots outta me, and I cover my mouth quickly, but he turns and I freeze with his stare. “Come on in. See I told ya you’d catch a death. Come sit down. Do you like coffee, tea or maybe some hot chocolate?” I walk into the room and head straight for a chair at the table, pull it out and sit down.
“Um, coffee would be nice. Thank you.”
I watch as he gets a cup from a cabinet, not even having to strain himself with his height. I get a better look at him in the light. He’s really hot, sexy. Smooth skin over a strong jaw, light blue eyes and by the looks of the bulges through his long sleeved t-shirt, I’d say he has big muscles everywhere. He catches me staring, and I look down at my hands that I’m wringing in my lap.
“Not gonna lie. I find it odd that a young woman like you is out in this storm, in the middle of the night.” He sets a cup of steaming coffee down in front of me and I cup it with my hands. Damn, that feels great. I look up when he pulls out the chair beside me and sits down with his own cup.
“I find it odd that someone would be up in the middle of the night and notice me outside in this storm.” His smile is beautiful, showing his almost blinding white straight teeth and a dimple square in the middle of his chin. Really breathtaking. But then again, he isn’t Memphis. Memphis.
He laughs. “Fair enough. I was sittin’ out on my porch, just watchin’ the rain. I don’t sleep well.” I nod, picking up my cup and blowing into it then taking a small sip. Heaven. “Your turn.” My eyes widen in fear and nervousness. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. Really none of my business.” I nod again, relaxing a little. “But sometimes I think it’s better to talk it out ‘specially with a perfect stranger.” He smiles again and picks up his cup, taking a drink. I look down at my cup and frown. I can feel my eyebrows lower, the crease in my forehead. The pain in my knees make me wince. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I won’t ask any more questions. I promise. I know how that can be.”
“Oh, no. It’s not that. Well, it is but….” I shift in my seat, the pain radiating through me. “I fell on the road and my knees kinda hurt.”
His eyes widen. “Why didn’t you say somethin’? Let me take a look. Please? I promise to be careful.” His face changes to concern. I guess it wouldn’t hurt. I scoot my chair out a little and pull up the material on my right leg. It’s still bleeding and the bruise is huge all around my kneecap. “Dang. You are hurt. Here….” He gets up and leaves the room. I’m inspecting my left knee when he walks back in and stands beside me. “Ouch. Got the other knee too, huh?” I look up and nod. “Don’t worry.”
I watch him go to the sink. He opens a drawer to the right and takes out a cloth then dampens it. My eyes follow his movements as he walks back over and sits back down. I cringe when he leans down and gently puts his hand behind my lower leg, bringing it up and resting it on his leg. “Ow,” I hiss as he carefully cleans the area. Our eyes meet, and I watch him frown.
“Sorry,” his voice is soft, caring.
I give him a small smile and watch him finish cleaning one knee and then the other, putting large Band-Aid’s on them both, my feet now resting on the floor. “There! All better. Well, they will be,” he chuckles. I give him a big smile, feeling like I haven’t smiled this big in a long time. He slaps his hands down on his legs. “I bet you’re tired. Would you like to go lay down and get some rest?” My brows raise high. “Alone.” He smiles and I relax. “I have several bedrooms in this big house and only mine being used. Please. At least see if you can get some sleep.”
I nod slowly. “Actually, I’m not sure if I can sleep but a rest would be nice.” As he stands he grasps my hand and helps me up. I pull it back quickly, and he just gives me a sad look.
“I’m sorry. Somethin’ bad must have happened to you.”
He starts to walk past me and I stop him with my hand on his arm. Wow, he sure has some big hard muscles. “No, I’m sorry. I guess I’m just tired.” He gives me his bright smile, and then I follow him through his enormous house, up some stairs and then he stops in front of a room.
“I hope you don’t mind. I try to keep up with cleaning but….” he chuckles. “As you can tell, it’s kinda a big place to keep up with.”
I enter the room, amazed at how clean it is and turn back to him. “Well, you definitely have kept up pretty well. I’m impressed.” I give him another smile, this one not forced.
He laughs. “Too much time on my hands, I guess. Is there anything else you need? Water, aspirin?”
“No, thank you. I’m good.” He smiles again and starts to leave. “Oh!” His head turns, his light blue eyes staring into mine from over his shoulder. “I just wanted to say, I appreciate your kindness tonight. It’s not everyday someone comes out in a raging storm to help someone. Thank you.”
His smile never falters. “You’re welcome. Any time.”
I close the door and turn around. The room is nice, has old furnishings but they look like they’ve been kept well. I walk to the bed, pulling down the covers and sit down on the soft mattress, carefully lifting my legs and sliding down under the sheets. Pulling up the covers, I lay down and look up at the ceiling. So much happened, so quickly. My head spins with the images of all that took place tonight. The witch who told me smugly that I am not a real woman and that Memphis could never be happy with me. Jag holding me against my will, kissing and fondling me. The look on Memphis’ face when he came storming out of his house, his angry voice calling me a child and telling me to go to my room. I feel a tear slide down the side of my face, the wetness moving into my hair. He had told me earlier that night he was falling for me. Was that some kind of a joke? How can he say that and then treat me the way he did?
I turn over onto my side, putting my hands underneath the pillow below my face and sigh. Are things ever gonna get better for me? Am I ever going to have a happy life or will I always be stuck with people thinking of me only as a child? Suddenly, Mable’s face appears in my mind. I hope she’s feeling better. I wish I could talk to her. I really need some motherly advice right now. Exhaustion overtakes me and I close my eyes but all I see is Memphis’ angry face.
My eyes open. It’s still dark out. I can hear the storm still raging. I look over and see a clock on the nightstand. Four A.M. Wow! I can’t believe even after a couple of hours of sleep that I woke up at the time I’ve been waking up at the last several days. My body must have gotten used to it. I’m so tired. Memphis’ face invades my mind. Sighing, I push back the covers and sit on the edge of the bed. I lean over and rub my face. So tired. I make myself get up and walk into the bathroom. I really need to take a shower but instead I decide just to wash my face in the sink. I’m scared to look at myself in the mirror and when I do I sigh again. Heavy bags underneath my red bloodshot eyes. Great. I need my toothbrush and paste. I walk to the door and open it quietly. Sile
nce. I creep out into the hall and then down the stairs and walk around until I find the bathroom. I grab my still wet clothes and unwad them, placing them over the shower door to see if they will dry faster, then dig through my suitcase and find my toothbrush and paste. It feels good to brush my teeth.
I hear a noise, sounding like it’s coming from a room nearby, so I walk there, letting the noise guide me. I find myself in the kitchen once again and see the nice man from last night cooking. “Oh! Good morning! I hope I didn’t wake you.” He gives me that blinding smile and I can’t help but smile back. “I’m just making some eggs, bacon and toast. Would you like some? You must be hungry.” I nod and watch him grab a cup as I sit down at the table. He brings it over with a coffee pot in his other hand. He sets the cup down, pouring coffee in it. I pick it up as he walks back over to the stove. The aroma hits me hard and the cup is warm in my hands. “You don’t talk much. It’s okay. I can do the talking for both of us.” I look over and see he’s talking as he cooks, not looking back at me. “I don’t normally get visitors here,” he chuckles.
“Surely you have friends around?” I ask after taking a sip of the delicious coffee.
He turns, bringing over two plates and sets one down in front of me. My stomach growls, smelling the food, and I pick up the fork that he placed next to the plate and dig in. Man, I’m freaking starved!
“Well, I used to. I’ve been away for several years. When my parents decided they’d had enough of farming and took off to travel the world, they gave me the land and the houses on it. So I came back to make a go of it, not wanting them to sell the place I grew up in. I had tried to make it on my own, after I graduated from college, but this place drew me back. I haven’t even gone into town yet, only been back a few days. People may not even recognize me. I’ve changed a lot.” He smiles and then takes a bite of his food. He seems nice, gentlemanly. Reminds me of Memphis. Memphis. I sigh.
