by Vicki Green
I take the thermos and pour us both come coffee while he puts a huge roll on each plate. “Wow! Those look amazing!” Suddenly, I’m starving, pick up my fork and take a big bite. I close my eyes and swear I moaned with the delicious taste. “Oh. My. God!” I look up at him and see he’s staring at me. The look in his eyes tells me I actually did moan out loud. His light blue eyes have darkened. “Homemade you say? Who made them?” I ask quickly, trying to change the mood.
He looks down shyly at his plate and then back up into my eyes. “I did.”
I cut another piece and put it in my mouth quickly. “You did? I’m impressed.” And I am. I can’t believe a guy actually can cook this heavenly. I guess I’m naïve but I thought only girls could cook like this. Okay, I know there are male chefs out there in the world but a country guy that is sexier than hell?
He laughs. How can a laugh sound so sexy? “Well, don’t be. Ma taught me how to cook when I was little and I guess it just stuck with me.” He takes a bite as I sip my coffee. “I was always fascinated by it, watched her cook every meal and then when she started really teaching me, I ended up whipping up all kinds of stuff. It relaxes me, I guess.”
“Well, I think it’s pretty cool. Any woman would love to be with a guy that can cook like this.” I smile and take another bite, closing my eyes each time the deliciousness sparks my taste buds. I open my eyes to see his facial expression has changed from smiling to frowning. I must have touched a nerve with something I’ve said. “So, is your mom still around? We haven’t gotten to really talk much since we met.”
He looks up, his breathtaking smile showing again and I feel a bit relieved. “No, but I hear from her and Pa all the time. While they are still young enough to enjoy life, they decided to go out and see the world,” he chuckles. “They are actually being those crazy people you read about traveling the world in a big ole RV.” I laugh, imagining doing that. “But they love it. That’s why I came home.”
I set my fork down, interested in his story, and place my elbow on the table, my chin resting in my hand. “Really?”
“I can’t believe your pa actually went along with that idea.” Memphis’ voice startles me and when I turn my head and sit back up, I see him staring at me, a weird look on his face. Is that jealousy? Nah, couldn’t be. Could it?
“Oh, hey, Memphis! Sorry, if we woke you. I just thought I’d be neighborly and bring y’all some of my baked goodies and some coffee. After everything that happened I didn’t know if y’all really wanted to cook.” Colby rises from his seat and meets Memphis halfway, reaching out his hand to him. Memphis tears his eyes away from mine and shakes his hand. “I even brought a casserole I cooked up after I left here. Oh! I need to put that in the fridge.” Colby starts to walk back to the table but I stand and reach into the bag and get the dish out.
“I’ll put it in there for you. Sit and relax.” I walk over as he sits back down and watch Memphis from the corner of my eye taking the chair on the other side of mine.
“Thanks,” Colby says as he returns to his seat.
“So, go on with tellin’ about your parents. All I remember is your pa and mine always talking about the good life tending to our lands and am surprised your pa would leave his,” Memphis speaks as he looks at Colby.
I get another plate, fork and coffee cup and sit back down. Memphis’ hand immediately grasps my thigh, squeezing gently. Possessive? I shake my head from that thought and pour him some coffee and get him a roll.
“I know. Weird, right? Well….” Colby starts talking again and Memphis’ hand relaxes a bit as he picks up his cup and takes a drink. “You know I’ve been away for several years after having my itch to see other places. So they shipped me off to Alabama and let me attend a private school there where I went to high school and then I went to college around there as well. When I graduated, they told me they wanted to travel and asked me if I wanted the farm. It was a hard decision for me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to travel myself or get tied down but I love our farm, the house I grew up in, so I agreed. Now I’m just trying to get settled and keep up with everythin’ there. It’s gonna be kind of hard doing it all by myself. Maybe I’ve taken on too much. I dunno. I haven’t had time to really think about it much yet.”
“Wow! That’s a lot to take on by yourself,” I state then look at Memphis. He seems to be intent on listening to Colby but I still get a weird vibe from him.
“If I can help in any way, let me know. I lost a man, yesterday….” His eyes shift to me and back to Colby so quick that if you blinked you’d have missed it. “But I’m sure Mac or Dallis would be willing to help out when they can. You might want to put an ad out there in town and online. There might be some town folk willin’ to help as well.” Okay, I stand corrected. Maybe the look I’m seeing and the feelings I’m getting aren’t jealousy. Maybe. He squeezes my leg like he knows what I’m thinking. I look over at him and smile, putting my hand on his leg and squeezing back. His face totally changes. His eyes darken and now I’m feeling something else.
“I appreciate that and would definitely take you up on your offer.” My eyes move back to Colby, almost forgetting he was in the room. He smiles at me and my heart feels conflicted. Damn, he’s so freaking sexy. Then I look back at Memphis and my heart skips a beat. I think I’m in really big trouble. Colby catches my eye as he stands. “Well, I need to go into town and get some groceries.” He laughs. “I’m about out of everythin’. I guess I’ve put it off long enough. Am kind of feeling weird since no one knows I’m back yet.”
Memphis rises and I stay put. I think it’s better to keep my distance from him right now. “I’ll walk you out.”
Colby looks down at me, his face showing a little concern. “You still need a ride into town or did you change your mind.” His eyes shift to Memphis quickly and back to me again. I think he’s figured out I was leaving because of Memphis or something that had happened between us.
“Oh, no! Sorry, I forgot all about that. I’m fine,” I say sweetly but feel Memphis’ glare.
He nods and starts to walk out. Memphis still looks at me with a questioning look in his eyes. I just give him a big smile and then pick up my cup, looking at it like it was the most interesting thing in the world. I see him leave from the corner of my eye and take a deep breath. I’m sure he’ll want to know what that was all about. Suddenly, I feel the urge to go see Bessie. Seems like she’s the only female left I can talk to. Too bad she can’t answer me, give me advice or tell me everything’s gonna be okay. Maybe later on, I can ask Memphis if it’s okay if I use his computer again. I need to talk to someone. I need to talk to my bestie.
I clean up the kitchen, checking underneath the cover of the casserole dish, and lick my lips. I can’t wait to try it. It looks so good. A cook, sexy, huge muscles in all the right places and owns his own farm. Damn, I’m in trouble. My feelings are all over the place. I’m so torn. My feelings and emotions for Memphis overwhelm me. I feel like I’m falling so deep for him. Then, on the other hand, meeting Colby, his dreamy blue eyes and gorgeous smile take my breath away every time he looks at me. He also stirs feelings inside me, knots and butterflies in my stomach that travel down to my core. In my young life and inexperience with guys, I’ve never had these kind of passionate sensations before. Memphis captured my heart first, true, but then Colby has warmed it as well. Can I have deep feelings for two men? Is that possible? If that’s true, how do I decide which one I should focus on? They both stir up desires in me, make me ache and long for their smile, their touch. I’ve felt Memphis’ touch, his lips on mine, and I can’t deny he makes me completely feel desires and longing for him. He makes me want him to be my first experience. What it would be like to feel him inside me, bring me to orgasm. That’s something I’ve never had before. I know it should be special. I want it to be with someone I love or at least have such deep feelings for. Ugh! I feel like I go from one mess to another. I really need to talk with Tina. More than ever now. Suddenly, I think of Mable, know
ing I can’t talk to her anymore and get her motherly advice, love. Sadness overtakes me.
Chapter Twelve
Memphis
I close the door after tellin’ Colby goodbye. I remember him from when we were younger. When our parents got together, I’d go with Ma and Pa to their house. He and I always got along and had fun together, ridin’ horses, playin’ out in the yard and just being together. That was so long ago and we’ve both changed. However, we also have the responsibility of owning large farms now, which is something we have in common. I don’t envy him though. His farm is so much bigger than mine. He’d probably make it easier on himself if he sold some of his land, even though I’m sure that would be hard to give up.
I walk back to the kitchen and lean against the door frame, watchin’ Sadie as she cleans up. Just lookin’ at her makes my heart rate speed up and desire rages through me. Damn! I want to hold her, kiss all over her body, touch her soft skin everywhere, taste her sweetness and make passionate love to her. I want to watch her face as she cums, knowin’ I did that. Then I think of how she looked at Colby. Does she have feelings for him too? I know how she feels about me, about us, but the way they looked at each other has me wonderin’.
“What are you thinking so hard about?”
Her voice shakes me from my thoughts. Her warmth makes my feelin’s escalate as she stands in front of me. I was so lost in my mind that I didn’t even know she’d walked over to me. I wrap my arms around her and she snuggles her face into my chest. God, I love that. “Just you,” I respond as I kiss the top of her head. “Always you.”
She looks up, tilting her head back, and gives me a wide smile. It melts my heart. “I think I’m gonna go down and visit Bessie. Bet she’s been missing me.” She winks. I can’t help but chuckle.
“Ya know? I’ve been meanin’ to tell ya, she really likes you. She wouldn’t even look at you if she didn’t.” I wink back and she laughs. Really laughs. I love that sound and am grateful she feels like she can after everything.
“Ha! Now you tell me.” She smacks my stomach, playfully, and sensations move right to my cock. “Oh! Would you mind, afterwards, if I use your computer again? I’d love to chat with my best friend, Tina. I think I need some girl talk since….” She stops, her brows lower, and I can tell she’s tryin’ not to cry.
“Of course I don’t mind, darlin’. You can use it whenever you want. You don’t have to ask.” Her smile is back. She leans up, kissin’ my lips quick.
“Thank you. That means a lot to me. Really.”
I don’t want to let her go but I know she needs some time. Time with Bessie, time with her friend. I guess I just want to keep her to myself. Selfish, I know. Regretfully, I release my hold, watch her walk through the room and open the back door. Her head turns before she walks out, givin’ me one more smile, and then leaves, closin’ the door behind her. I walk over to the door, her long hair blows in the breeze. My heart speeds up as I watch her body sway as she walks down the steps, her cute bottom moving in her pants. Damn! I think I need to go take a cold shower before I act on my desires, ruinin’ what we’ve built so far.
Even though my heart is still hurtin’ over the loss of Mable, Sadie fills it. I go upstairs, take a shower and quickly put some clean clothes on. I think I need to go take a ride on Clancy. Maybe that will help steady me, ground me. I put on my light jacket as I know it’s growin’ cooler every day and then head down to the barn. The breeze is brisk against me. Sadie should have put one on too. There I go again, treatin’ her like a child. I don’t mean to, I just care about her. I still feel bad that I yelled at her last night. I wish I could take it back. I know she feels like sometimes I think she’s a child. I’m sure her pa treated her that way as well but she’s anything but a child to me. She’s definitely a woman. A beautiful, smart, caring, and loving woman. Someday I hope to show her just how much she is not a child to me.
I enter the barn, Clancy noticin’ right away. I guess no one let him out in the frenzy of our morning. “Hey, boy.” I smile as I walk up, opening his stall door. I grab the saddle off the top of the wooden rail and set it on his back. As I start to fasten it, I hear the sweet sound of my girl. I sure hope she’s mine. Maybe I’m just bein’ hopeful.
“I dunno, girl. I feel kinda mixed up. He’s dreamy, kind, caring, and gentle. I know how I feel when I’m with him but I guess I’m kind of scared I’ll mess things up, ya know?” I hear her sigh and turn my head towards Bessie’s stall. Sadie’s sitting on the stool but not milkin’ her. She’s just rubbing across her side and talkin’ like she’s a person. Cute and touches my heart. I guess now with Mable gone, there really isn’t another female around for her to talk to. I imagine it’s been hard on her, being sent to a strange place, a strange life with no one to talk to. Maybe a trip to town is in order. Get her away from here for a while, let her relax and be around other people, take her mind off of the grief and sadness for a bit. Probably wouldn’t hurt me either.
Feelin’ like I’m intrudin’, I finish saddlin’ Clancy, hop on his back and walk him out of the barn. Seems almost normal as we get through the gate and out into the pasture. I kick my heels and he moves into a gallop. The breeze is even cooler now as we move faster. I stop him by Pa’s tree and look over at the mountains. There’s already snow peaks on them. Winter will be comin’ soon. I need to chop some more fire wood and get ready.
I spend a fair amount of time ridin’ Clancy and when I return to the barn, Mac is inside working on the extension. I told him he could take some time off, do his own grievin’, figure he needed that as much as anyone else, but he said he could work through it better keepin’ busy. To each their own. We all grieve in different ways, so that does make sense. Sadie passed by me as I was choppin’ some wood. The look in her eyes as she stared at my body since I’d removed my shirt was one of desire and longing. I would have loved to have taken her up on that but figured maybe it’s still too soon, for her, not for me. I’m more than ready. Besides, I don’t think now’s a good time, while we’re feelin’ such loss.
“I’m gonna just….” She almost walks into a work bench as she stares at me and I lower my head with a chuckle. “Oh! Ha! I’m gonna go use your computer and then I’ll put the casserole in the oven to heat up. I’ll, uh….” Her voice fades as she stammers and turns, walkin’ back to the house. Damn! If looks tell me anything, maybe she is ready and I’m just wastin’ time. No, I’d better wait. She’ll let me know when she’s ready. Somehow. God, I hope it’s soon.
Sadie
Me: And then we talked for a while and drank coffee. He cleaned up my knees and bandaged them. Oh. My. God! Tina! He is to die for!
Tina: Wow! Wait! What about this Memphis guy? What happened to that?
Me: Oh, he’s still here. Hot and sexier than ever but I dunno. Can’t I like both of them? Is that mean or weird? I really like Memphis and I think I can almost say I’m falling in love with him but then there’s Colby? He’s just so…. But I don’t know him really. Maybe he’ll end up being a class A jerk.
Tina: u mean like Jag? What a douche canoe
I laugh, almost spitting out my tea. She’s always had a way with words.
Me: Yeah, total scumbag. I had a feeling about him but he proved to be so much worse than what I had even thought. I’m so glad he’s gone.
Tina: I miss u! I wish I was there right now to give you some girlie hugs
Me: ur gonna make me cry. Stop that!
Tina: HEY! R u allowed visitation?
Me: I’m not in jail, Tina.
Tina: Buahahaha! No, really! Are you allowed company? Maybe I could come visit. See this Memphis and Colby for myself.
I should know better than to take a drink while IM’ing with her. I get up and run into the kitchen, grabbing the hand towel off the cabinet handle and run back into the office, wiping up my spewed mess.
Tina: u still there? It shows ur still online
Me: Still here. Had to cl
ean up the mess I made on his desk after I spewed my tea out
Tina: Ha Ha! So glad I can still make u laugh
Me: Damn! I miss u so much! I’ll talk to Memphis and ask
Tina: Good! Don’t take no for an answer. Anything u want me to tell ur dear ole dad?
Me: Ugh! No! I don’t wanna even think about him. I’ll ttyl
Tina: K. LUMI
Me: LUMI 2!
We’d created the LUMI (love you mean it) a long time ago and it stuck. God, I miss her!
I finish cleaning up my tea mess and take the mostly now empty glass back into the kitchen. I pour some more tea in my glass, set it down on the breakfast bar and then get out the casserole and turn on the oven. I decide to make a salad and while scrummaging through the pantry I see cornbread mix. Oh, that would be good. So, I end up making it as well. I have everything about ready to take to the table and thinking I should holler at the guys when the back door opens. Mac and Dallis both nod at me as they walk in, and then I see Memphis in his shirtless glory. Oh, my God! I could so forget dinner right about now. He raises his arm, muscles flexing as he takes his wadded up shirt and wipes off the sweat on his forehead. His abs tighten with his movements, and I can feel the wetness pooling below. Damn! He catches me looking and lowers his head. I can hear his deep chuckle. That really isn’t helping.
“I’m gonna take a quick shower. No one needs to be smellin’ me right now.” I nod, spellbound. He chuckles again, and I watch him walk through and out of the room. I lean back against the counter, pick up the dish towel and fan myself then let out the breath I’d been holding. Now I feel like I need to go take a cold shower. I seriously need to get a grip on the sensory overload that’s hitting me every time I turn around. I’m in so much trouble.
