Now That You're Rich: Let's fall in Love!

by Datta, Durjoy

  As soon as he got through Silverman Finance, he joined a slew of classes to find a girl who would look through those layers of fat and see his pure, love-craving heart within. Maybe even his dick. Or at least get clicked pecking him. Or hugging him. Anything!

  Guitar classes. No success. There were too many guys smarter, sexier and thinner. Dance classes. He was too fat to make an impression, and he realized his body wasn’t meant for freestyle jazz.

  Finally, he was among his own breed when he joined the gym. Fat, flabby bodies sweating on treadmills and crosstrainers, struggling with small weights on bench presses and Smith machines, men and women alike.

  He looked at her. She was on a treadmill stacking up miles and was too big and flabby to be missed. Some would call her cute because of her fat round face, which was as fair as it could realistically get, and slit eyes.

  ‘Hi,’ Saurav said and tried hard not to pant while walking on the lowest speed on the treadmill. The girl looked at him, smiled and kept walking. After a while, she stepped down from the treadmill, walked up to the nearest couch and flopped on it.

  Saurav followed her.

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘Do I know you?’ The girl asked, wiping her face with a towel.

  ‘Umm … no. But we can know each other.’

  ‘Excuse me?’

  ‘I mean, I have been noticing you for a few days and I think you are incredibly cute.’

  ‘That is because I am too fat to look smart or sexy.’

  ‘I beg to differ,’ he countered.

  ‘Isn’t this your first day here?’

  ‘So, you have been noticing me, huh?’ he asked, trying to sound sexy. It certainly didn’t work. A fat man can’t talk like James Bond and get away with it. I say it from experience.

  ‘Obviously. You are the fattest around here. I felt good when you walked in. It’s good to see people who are fatter than you.’

  ‘Okay,’ he said, disappointed.

  ‘Don’t worry. A few months and you will be as thin as me!’ she laughed. Saurav found that cute.

  ‘I hope so.’ More than actually laying her, he was imagining how their wedding photographs might look like.

  ‘Hmm …’ She took out a water bottle and took a sip.

  ‘Can we go out some time? Like coffee or anything? If you don’t mind?’ he asked, his fingers crossed.

  ‘I do mind. But then, I have nothing else to do after this. So how about now?’

  ‘Perfect,’ Saurav said nervously. He couldn’t guess where this was going but he decided to play along.

  They both changed into their regular clothes and moved out of the gym. While Saurav had hidden everything under the triple XL tracksuit that he was wearing, Megha was bursting out of her jeans and T-shirt. Saurav, nonetheless, found her attractive and immensely desirable.

  At twenty-two, it was his first date. Not that Saurav was shy, but the very fact that it seemed like he was pregnant with triplets killed his chances with any girl. And IIT hardly gave him time to lose that weight or be around girls.

  ‘What do you do?’ she asked him.

  ‘I am studying. IIT Delhi. BTech,’ he said.

  ‘What? You’re an IITian? Are you kidding me?’ she exclaimed.

  ‘No, I am not,’ he said and fished out his ID. It was his explanation to all his goofiness and awkwardness: his IIT Identification Card.

  ‘I don’t need that. But seriously? IIT? You don’t look like that. I mean I don’t want to offend you, but you look like a property dealer’s son or something.’

  ‘Why do you say that?’

  ‘You know. You’re fat, you drive this huge car and everything, and flirting with me. An IITian doesn’t necessarily do that.’

  ‘When did I flirt with you?’

  ‘You did.’

  ‘I didn’t,’ he protested and thought maybe he did.

  ‘Whatever.’

  ‘So, where are we going?’ Saurav asked. He was really counting on his chances now.

  ‘You tell me. You asked me out.’

  Samrat’s words echoed in his ears. Samrat used to tell him how easy it was to have a first date at home, have a couple of beers, and then casually make out.

  ‘My place,’ he said in a very low tone, hoping the honk of the car would drown it out. I was kidding, he would say if she were to make a face at that, he had decided. And then he would laugh and she would laugh and they would go to a coffee place.

  ‘Cool. Let’s go,’ she said in a heartbeat.

  Saurav blanked out for a few seconds and it took time for it to sink in. It’s just an innocent date at my place, don’t panic, he told himself. He started thinking about what reasons there could be for a girl to come to his place. Was he cute? Was she lusty? Did it even mean anything? Was he thinking too much? Was the gymming already working?

  He parked the car in the driveway and walked past the wide-eyed guard who was shocked to see Saurav bring home a girl. They went up to his room and he cleared his bed of the laptop and his books that were strewn about and asked her to sit. He was tongue-tied and words refused to come out of his mouth; he was sweating and he was nervous as hell.

  ‘Do you want to drink something? Eat something? Should I get you a beer?’ he asked. She nodded. ‘Pizza?’ he asked and she nodded.

  He rushed downstairs, pulled out two large beers from his father’s stash, called the pizza place and asked for a large, extra cheese pizza. His heart was throbbing out of his mouth as he entered his room again and gave the bottle to her.

  ‘Nice,’ she said and she chugged on the beer. ‘It’s a little strong though.’

  ‘Yes, I know,’ he said.

  The girl started to talk about how she hated going to the gym and how much she loved eating and Saurav nodded like a child. She asked him about his days at IIT and whether it was as tough as people made it out to be. Saurav, still dizzy and nervous, answered in short sentences. After a while, the bell rang and Saurav fetched the pizza.

  ‘I don’t think I can eat that,’ she said. ‘I am already very full.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ he asked, as he stuffed a slice into his mouth, cheese dripping from the corners of his lips.

  ‘Can you switch off the light? It’s piercing my eyes, Saurav,’ she asked him. His head started throbbing, and with trembling hands and a pounding heart, he switched off the lights, his mind racing and conjecturing as to what would happen next.

  They both sat on opposite corners of the bed. Saurav finished his beer and asked her if she needed more. She shook her head.

  ‘So?’ the girl asked.

  ‘Umm … so?’

  ‘Why did you want me to be here?’ she asked and looked at him. He felt embarrassed and shy and naked. I don’t know for sure what happened next, for I have never been told in explicit detail, but I think they kicked off their shoes, stripped, and probably broke the bed. They made out like animals, leaving behind aching love bites and worn-out muscles. Saurav had done bloody well for his first time. After they were done, they finished the pizza and ordered another one.

  The picture he clicked had her kissing him on the cheek while a bedsheet covered their fat naked bodies up to their necks. They kissed and exchanged their byes, after which he looked at the picture and cursed himself for clicking just one. He dropped her home that day and the smile never went off his face.

  Later that night, he shot a mail to his friends with that picture as an attachment. He waited for their replies.

  Bravo! But isn’t she a little fat?

  Cool! Now we are all men in our group.

  Made for you, man! Are you going out with her?

  He smiled and looked at the photograph again. Was he missing her? Already?

  The next day, he waited in the car at a distance to catch her before she entered the gym. He couldn’t stop thinking about the previous evening and he wanted to relive that experience. He put the car in gear as soon as he saw her getting down from the auto and walking towards the gate of the gym.r />
  He screeched the car right in front of her and waved at her.

  ‘What? Are you crazy?’

  ‘Yes, about you,’ he shouted. ‘Want to go out again?’

  ‘Not today,’ she said and disappeared inside the gym.

  He parked the car and entered the gym to find her on the same treadmill. She looked at him entering the gym and continued running. He, too, ignored her and walked to the leg press machine instead. The leg presses felt a little heavy on Saurav legs, as he saw her smiling at the guy running next to her. The wait for the treadmills around her to be vacated was getting longer as the conversation between the guy, who was probably the trainer, and Megha was punctuated with laughter and smiles.

  Saurav shrugged it off his mind. He chose another treadmill and started running as fast he could. However, the noise and the vibration from the rickety treadmill didn’t make her look at him as he had hoped.

  After a few bench presses and ball exercises, the trainer left her, for he had to train a girl who had come in shorts and a bursting sports bra.

  ‘Hi,’ Saurav said as he sat down next to Megha.

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘So, what are you doing today?’

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘So, can we go out and have coffee or something?’

  ‘Or do you want to take me to your place again, huh?’

  ‘Ummm … It is your call. Whatever you want to do.’

  ‘Your place,’ she said. Saurav was a little shocked because just a little while ago she had behaved like she didn’t know him. They went back home and this time they didn’t order beers or pizzas and there was no awkwardness; they made out again and he dropped her home.

  He emailed his friends about his second time and they called the girl names. Bitch. Slut. Whore. It made him angry.

  ‘Oh! You are my man! You have got yourself one horny bitch, man. So cool! Finally, I am so fucking happy for you, man. Very nice!’

  ‘At least don’t abuse her, man. She is a nice girl.’

  ‘Ooo, I am sorry but she is one horny girl. She came to your place two times in two days! I am so proud of you. Make sure you use a condom dude, you never know whom she is sleeping with!’

  He didn’t pursue the conversation any further and decided that the next day would be a date that didn’t require her to come to his place, a date that didn’t end up on his bed.

  Why? I have never understood Saurav. Make hay while the sun shines. Even when it doesn’t. Just go out and make hay. Which perfectly normal guy would prefer a date over a make-out session?

  The trainer and Megha were laughing their guts out when Saurav reached the gym the next day. He wasn’t in his tracksuit; instead, he had picked out a pair of jeans he thought he looked thin in, and he had fixed his hair with copious amounts of hair gel. He had dressed up for a date.

  Saurav made his move after the trainer went off to help other members.

  ‘What are you doing after this?’

  ‘Nothing? Why? You want to take me to your place again, you pervert?’ she asked and giggled.

  ‘No, actually I was thinking maybe we could go out for an early dinner or something?’

  ‘Hmm, okay. I will just go and change. But it’s on you, right?’ she laughed.

  She took a shower, changed into her clothes, and hugged her trainer before she left the gym with him. Saurav wasn’t too happy to see that. It was envy, not love. Saurav was a fat man, the guy was a hunk, probably better in bed. Saurav stood no chance.

  Saurav took her to the most expensive restaurant he had heard of, and I am sure he was thinking of going somewhere the trainer would not have been able to afford. It was a nice dimly lit restaurant, probably very classy, and insanely expensive.

  ‘So, what else?’ Saurav asked. ‘What do you do the whole day?’

  ‘Nothing. I am doing correspondence from Delhi University. So I am at home all the time.’ She sipped her lime juice.

  ‘Pretty boring, huh?’

  ‘Yes, but can’t help it. That is how I am getting so fat. I just want to get over with my graduation and do an MBA from some place. At least I will get to see a college. It gets so frustrating sitting at home the whole day.’

  ‘Get a boyfriend. That is a nice timepass.’ He said that just to check whether she had one and if not, what she thought about having one.

  ‘I already have one,’ she looked at him and smiled.

  ‘You have one?’ Saurav asked, shocked.

  ‘Why do you look so shocked? He is in the US. That is why it is so boring. Had he been here, it would not have been that bad.’

  He struggled with words as the word slut rang in his head. ‘What does he do there?’

  ‘Nothing. Doing some course on business or something. He went there to have fun and nothing else. I am sure he is never going to pass it. Whatever.’

  ‘How many years has it been that the two of you are in a relationship?’

  ‘It will be three next year.’

  ‘So, what are your plans with him?’

  ‘Nothing. He will come back next year, and then within two years, we will get married or something. You tell me? Any girlfriends? Or is that prohibited in IIT?’ she laughed.

  ‘Yes, I have one. She is not in the city … Umm … she is in Bombay,’ he lied.

  ‘So, how much time has it been for you?’

  ‘Just a few months. I don’t believe in serious relationships.’ He didn’t know why he said that.

  ‘Me, too.’

  ‘Three years and you say you don’t believe in serious relationships? You’re one heck of a non-believer, aren’t you?’

  ‘I don’t. It is just that after a year into any relationship, it is the same. There is a sameness.’ To this day, Megha remains my best character in the story because she understood relationships. She continued, ‘It is just that you fight less in a long-term relationship and that is the only parameter of a successful relationship. You get used to that person around you and you don’t want to hurt him or her. That is why relationships work. It is like somebody cuts off your cable subscription or internet connections. You throw a fit. But really, after a while, everything becomes okay. So yeah, when the person you love moves out, there are withdrawal symptoms, but you survive it. Isn’t it obvious? You start loving a person more than your best girlfriend in a matter of days and you are ready to leave her for him. It is just that being in love is an idea which is so beautiful. Plus, your girlfriend doesn’t have a dick. Your best buddy doesn’t have breasts. He won’t tell you how good you are. My friend won’t tell me how beautiful I look. We need someone from the opposite sex to do it, to satisfy our ego, our needs. That is what love is: a desperate need to feel good. Love is an illusion, nothing more, nothing less.’

  Ever since I heard this from Saurav, I have used this speech more than a few times on brokenhearted girlfriends and distraught boyfriends. The guys start looking for someone better. The girls don’t understand. That’s the universal rule.

  ‘So you don’t love him?’

  ‘I don’t know. It just feels nice sometimes that he is there. Plus, instead of marrying someone you don’t know, I would rather marry him. He is an okay person, doesn’t drink or smoke. He will join his father’s business and has a secure future. He loves me, too, I guess. So, I don’t think it is too bad a deal.’

  ‘Deal?’

  ‘Yes, why not? Arranged marriages are deals, aren’t they? You choose the best possible match. A compromise between looks, family background and economic strength is struck and then you marry him or her. This isn’t any different. He is the best I could have got with all the flab hanging around. I am set for life.’

  Saurav had nothing to say. I had nothing to say when Saurav narrated this to me. Had he described her to me as someone even remotely attractive, I would have fallen in love.

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘I am sorry for that. I just said what I wanted to say.’

  ‘I think you made sense,’ he said. Saurav, at t
his point, had started comparing himself to her guy.

  ‘Shall we leave? Mom would be expecting me.’

  ‘Sure.’

  Saurav dropped her home and told her that he had had a good time. She repeated the same.

  He went home that day and deleted the picture from his cell phone and computer.

  Calling her a slut a million times in his head didn’t help, as he thought he was falling harder for her with every passing second. He was damn lucky he came across her or he would have still been a virgin.

  Saurav missed the gym the next day, as his internship had started.

  He called her from his office but she did not pick up. The gym trainer’s image kept cropping up in his head while he sleepwalked through all the sessions organized for him that day. He kept calling and messaging her throughout the day, but she did not revert even once.

  The next day, he missed office and went to see her at the gym. She seemed to be having a good time with the trainer, laughing and blabbing with him. Saurav’s temper rose, but he still walked up casually to the closest couch and sat down there.

  After the trainer got up and attended to the thinner, hotter girls, Saurav came up to her.

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘Hi,’ she said as she grabbed her things and walked past him. He followed.

  ‘You have not been picking up my calls.’

  ‘I know,’ she said as they walked out of the gym.

  ‘Why not? Did I offend you in anyway?’

  ‘I was busy,’ she said casually, not looking at him.

  ‘You could have sent one message.’

  ‘I didn’t get time,’ she said coldly.

  ‘For one message?’

  ‘No, I mean I was really busy. Don’t irritate me.’

  ‘Where were you busy?’ he asked, as they both paced towards an auto.

  ‘My boyfriend was in town, I had a late night the day before and was very tired the next day.’

  ‘And yesterday? You were tired the whole day?’

  ‘I went out with Amit,’ she said as she haggled with the auto-driver.

  ‘Amit?’

  ‘The trainer.’

  ‘You went out with him? Why? Why? I mean, you see how he flirts with all the girls in the gym. He is not a nice person. How can you even talk to him?’